Yay the Day!

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Every DAY is a gift. Within each day is the sum of your LIFE, so it is imperative to take the time to enJOY what is in the daily treasures. Say YAY with each new day! Wake to the brilliance of a new day. Embrace the existence that is you. Follow your heart to the dreams that need you to bring them to life. Find glory and goodness among the paths you take. Seek to unravel the depths of your stories, your tangled lies that you tell yourself, and begin to see the beauty that only you are. In the day, take the walks that break you out of the mundane, listen to the whispers of insight, seek the well of hope within that helps you rise to be better, listen to the songs you sing to find the light, and take the time to find a quiet place. That is where the hidden gems are found.

Your duty to find something BEAUTIFUL within your days…your life. ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and this is very true. Some people can find beauty in their reflection, or a kitchen design, another can see a texture in a fabric and be taken by its beauty, someone else will find beauty in a natural light that dances off a lake or a lovely melody that plays on a movie soundtrack. Maybe your beauty is the smile of your child, the time spent on a walk with a friend or the giddy laughter of the one you love. There is so much beauty to behold and be charmed by. Life is full of the BEAUTIFUL if you but seek to find it. It is your duty to help you appreciate the beautiful life you are blessed to live.

Your day is in the daily LEARNING & GROWTH This can be a scary place to be. Most people just want the normal routine, the less complications the better outlook. BUT, your greatest moments will come from stepping out of the norm and jumping into life! I always tell my daughter, “If you are not growing, you are dying—in one way or another.” It only makes sense. If flowers are not growing, blooming, sharing the blossoms–they are wilting and dying. It is the way of life. We must move forward, challenge ourselves to learn new ways of doing things, grow higher as individuals to be able to become the best versions of ourselves. There is a great saying, “Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” – H. Jackson Brown I love that! AND truthfully hate it 😉 because it makes you genuinely stop and acknowledge what difference did you really make today? We are NOT these people, but we have the opportunity to learn and grow and become a little closer to making our own, unique difference in the world—like those people. We all have our own learning and growing to do—live it!!

Your day should be the start of PUSHing YOURSELF beyond the muted norm. My daughter just started an art therapy journaling group at school. I have been worried about her being so hard on herself & wanted her to tap into a good outlet that can help teach and lead her to a higher place of expressing emotions and understanding herself better. After the group I asked her how it went. She was very anxious about attending. She is a person of serious routine, so she was not excited (to say the least). I was happy she went, honestly. Her reply, “It was actually nice. It was learning how to breathe & sigh & just collaging. There were a few others who were there and everyone was really nice. It was nice.” I was so relieved. Push yourself to try to go beyond your usual routines. Shake up the norm and challenge yourself in some way. Yay!

Your day is in the DETAILS of the happenings of your life. Take the time to Write highlights, life lessons, details from each day. Finish your a day w a few lines before bed…to read, see and understand the journey of your life. Get grateful by writing down at least five things from the day that you were grateful for. Begin a compliment notebook & get into the habit of writing down some of the nice compliments, actions or reactions you received from people in your life, strangers, smiles, etc. I was stopped at a street light in my car & my window was rolled down. The woman parked next to me at the light yelled, “hey, I like your hat.” I looked over & noticed she was talking to me. I smiled & told her, “Thank you, you just made my day”. She then proceeded to show me a hat she had in her van, “This is my favorite hat. It got me through a hard time of hair loss & it is a great hat.” I smiled, “that is wonderful. That is a cute hat.” She instantly put it on & I yelled back, “That hat looks so cute on you.” Just then the light changed. We smiled at each other and proceeded through the light. It was a sweet interaction with a complete stranger. I really smiled when I noticed a sticker on her car, “I hope something good happens to you today.” It was such a great sticker & I honestly felt soo lifted after the sweet connection. It was a definite highlight from my day. When you begin to notice the little details—they stick with you, especially if you take notice and write them down.

CREATIVITY is the heart to a higher place. I do believe that. There is a creator in every one of us and the way to bring out your divine riches is to seek ways to create. Whether you pen a poem, write lyrics, play music, paint, photograph, write your history, share an idea, create a play, design a tattoo, make a video…there are things within you that are waiting to be fulfilled. Even just doodling seems to bring ideas to life. There is a pathway from creativity that opens doors to other parts of yourself. Seek to bring those ideas to the surface and enJOY the process. Go out and make a mural or take a selfie with a street mural and share it, make a yummy dish to share with friends, write your favorite quote in your personal style and text something inspired to those you care about. Whatever makes your heart smile in creativity—share it! Seek to do SOMETHING—big or small–CREATE daily.

I LOVE Murals & the creativity, the color, the way inspiration is shared. Here was an article on Nice News about mural art

Mural Magic: 9 Artists Making Communities Stronger and Brighter, One Wall at a Time

Fulfilling the potential we have within

Do ONE thing daily that makes you FEEL YAY!! I did that. Yay! I accomplished that one big thing. YAY! I am one step closer to my dream. YAY! I can. YAY! I inspired someone with my words. YAY! Today was a good day.

Take time to do things you LOVE to do. Every person is different, so loving laundry may not be your thing. Loving gardening may be someone else’s sweet spot. Maybe you love to exercise and the feel goods you get. Maybe sports is your love & you make plans to watch your favorite teams. Maybe you just love spending time with your family. Maybe you love connecting with those you care about by phone each day. The things you LOVE are different for everyone. There is a whole big world full of so many colorful details, things to try, foods to experience, games to play, people to enjoy…LOVE is ongoing. Maybe you Love singing, learning, reading a good book, researching your next purchase for your beloved antique jewelry or nike shoe collection…everyone is different, but taking a little time each day to do something you LOVE…makes it a YAY DAY!

Take time to share the LOVE. Being of service, sharing your talents, doing kind deeds, sending love via snail mail, sharing a smile with a stranger…it all adds to a YAY DAY! I just went through my phone and copied a sticker that said, “I hope something good happens to you today” and texted it to a bunch of people in my contacts. People I have not seen or talked to in awhile—maybe even a year. People need to feel cared about and connected. Even just connecting through simple, small ways like a text lets them know you care and are thinking about them. Share some love in some small way. Help someone else have a YAY DAY!

Those are just a few ideas to help create a positive space for you to YAY your DAY! We all need to seek out the good, to get excited about the little things, to connect, to find the wins and the wonderfuls in our every day….they will all lead the way to YAYS every day.

Peace. Love and Light to you. xoxo. -H

FABULOUS 4 for HAPPINESS

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According to CBS news In the newly released 2024 World Happiness Report, the U.S. dropped out of the top 20 on the list for the first time in the report’s 12-year history. The U.S. now ranks at No. 23, compared to No. 15 last year. The researchers say this is driven in part by a decline in how Americans under 30 feel about their lives. “In the US, happiness or subjective wellbeing has decreased in all age groups, but especially for young adults,”  Gallup managing director Ilana Ron Levey

When my husband and I visit our daughter on her college campus we can’t help but wonder why everyone seems so sad and isolated. No one talks to one another, we pass bus stops where the kids are in a single line, all looking at (more like hiding out) their phones. More people than not are just walking alone. It is worrisome and sad.

My daughter has been talking (via a dating app) to a young man on a student-exchange from Sweden and his happy outlook was something to adore. I told her, “you obviously need to go stay for a longer period of time in the nordic countries because they are doing something right there!” haha AND when you look at a list of the happiest countries…fyi: top 10: Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, Israel, Netherlands, Norway, Luxembourg, Switzerland and Australia…the list is covered in that area of the world. Good for them!! Genuinely. They are obviously doing some good things.

So, how, why and what can we do to HELP our beautiful country get better??

ONE way…the way we cope. Our coping mechanisms need some updating. I know from listening to my daughter talk about college kids on campus, seeing her friends resorting to social drinking, drugs to cure loneliness and even seeing my daughter struggle with expectation, personal stress, loneliness…that our young people are struggling with happiness.

THE FABULOUS 4 for HAPPINESS:

How could we help ourselves? What could we naturally do to feel happier? What’s that you say!!?!

Natural hormones within your body that help you feel happier…naturally high on life. These hormones can be supercharged and influenced by the activities we participate in, the foods we eat, the thoughts we think. It is an incredible outlet and source for better, happier health and wellness.

Getting to know your body and finding ways to see how these natural hormones effect You is a clear indicator of what you can do to increase your own personal levels to be even more effective.

DOPAMINE….

Dopamine: Known as the “feel-good” hormone, dopamine is a neurotransmitter that’s an important part of your brain’s reward system. It’s associated with pleasurable sensations, along with learning, memory, and more. -healthline

This ‘DOPE’ haha hormone is often called, “the happy hormone” because it is a pleasure seeking hormone that derives happiness from things that are enJOYable or highlight the brain’s reward system, like compliments, falling in love, praise, shopping, sex, food, goals,

According to Psychology today: Dopamine is known as the feel-good neurotransmitter—a chemical that ferries information between neurons. The brain releases it when we eat food that we crave or while we have sex, contributing to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction as part of the reward system. This important neurochemical boosts mood, motivation, and attention, and helps regulate movement, learning, and emotional responses.

Here are some ways to naturally increase dopamine: set a goal & take small steps to achieving it. Each day you work toward your goal you will be rewarded with a natural hit of dopamine because of your accomplishment. Engage in activities that are pleasurable and help you feel good–playing with a pet, exercise, avoid processed foods [Eat foods rich in tyrosine including cheese, meats, fish, dairy, soy, seeds, nuts, beans, lentils, among others. While tyrosine supplements are available, consuming foods is preferred.-psychologytoday], avoid stress with mindfulness, mediation, yoga, getting out in nature, reading a book, get good sleep, etc.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOPAMINE & SEROTONIN: (according to Healthline) Serotonin is developed in your gut, helps stabilize mood and anxiety, helps regulate sleep and wakefulness AND Dopamine is developed mainly in your brain, helps affect motivation and helps you feel more alert.

SEROTONIN

Serotonin: This hormone and neurotransmitter helps regulate your mood as well as your sleep, appetite, digestion, learning ability, and memory. -healthline

This hormone is known as the “happy” chemical/hormone because it is the hormone that keeps away anxiety and depression. This chemical plays a pivotal role in your mood and overall well-being. Most prescription drugs used to treat these factors increase the brains serotonin levels. produced in exercise, good sleep, getting outdoors in nature

Serotonin is a chemical that nerve cells produce, and it sends signals between your nerve cells. Serotonin is found in many parts of your body: in your digestive system, blood platelets, and throughout the central nervous system.

Serotonin is made from the essential amino acid tryptophan. This amino acid must enter your body through your diet and is commonly found in foods such as meat, dairy products, eggs, and nuts.——–Healthline

Here are some ways to naturally increase serotonin: exposure to sunlight, practice gratitude, get a massage, manage your stress, exercise, eat healthy nuts, pineapple, eggs, get out in nature, vitamin D,

OXYTOCIN

Oxytocin: Often called the “love hormone,” oxytocin is essential for childbirth, breastfeeding, and strong parent-child bonding. It can also help promote trust, empathy, and bonding in relationships. Levels generally increase with physical affection. -healthline

This ‘love’ly hormone is very connection and physical based. This is the hormone that is necessary for a new mother to bond with her baby. It is also key in hormonal spikes in intimacy, physical touch, cuddling, massage, holding hands, sex & can be naturally increased through telling someone you love them, a hug, laughter, pets, socializing, having sex, time, physical touch, service, giving back, foods like avocados, spinach and vitamin c…

ENDORPHINS

Endorphins: These hormones are your body’s natural pain reliever, which your body produces in response to stress or discomfort. Levels may also increase when you engage in reward-producing activities such as eating, working out, or having sex. -healthline

These hormones are highly associated with “runners high” and are natural pain killers. The natural ways to increase and boost endorphins: chocolate, sex, exercise, music, meditation, laughter, food (spicy food), UV light…

Top Tips to help with a Healthy Wellness and Happiness Practice

According to CALM https://www.calm.com/blog/healthiest-lifestyle Drink plenty of water, eat nourishing foods, regularly exercise, get good sleep, spend time outdoors, make time to pay and explore, practice mindfulness and meditation

According to the Mayo Clinic: Eat nourishing foods, Sleep 7-8 hours a night, Keep company with people you enjoy being around, Avoid news overdose, Regular exercise (150 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity each week), Do something meaningful each day (Putting effort into the things that matter most to you will help you use and reserve your energy in ways that will bring out the best in you.), Think good thoughts for others (compassion for others)

According to Psychology today, The formula for health and happiness is a life oriented towards effortful rewards. Pursue goals that demand your best self (e.g., intimate relationships); seek out achievements won only through dedication and sacrifice (e.g., fitness); and create a lifestyle encouraging ongoing learning and personal growth (e.g., self-actualization). This is one lesson from history that will never become obsolete.

According to Oprah: Discover your purpose, Speak kind words to others and yourself, Have self-compassion, Adjust your mindset (be positive, stop overthinking), Get grateful & Be present, Lean into the Joy of Aging, Strengthen your relationships, Self-love, Learn how to cope with stress, Get some therapy, Build healthy habits, Prioritize sleep, Write it down (journal),

According to Real Simple Magazine: Don’t Start with Profundity (Start with the basics), Don’t let the sun go down on anger (Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.), Fake it til you feel it, Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. (Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. People who do new things―learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places―are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well.), Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.” (ask yourself, “will this truly make things better?”), Buy some happiness. (Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do. You also want to have a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help.), Don’t insist on the best (sometimes good enough is enough), Exercise to boost energy, Stop nagging, Eat less ultra-processed foods (they lower your mood), Start Volunteering (according to one study people who engaged in volunteering were 7% happier than those who did not), Connect with the outdoors (According to one study, being in nature for at least 30 minutes a week is proven to lower blood pressure and decrease your risk of depression.), Hang out with friends (seeing friends is a great way to reduce stress and feel a sense of support), Consider seeing a therapist (When life gets difficult, it can be beneficial to have someone to turn to for advice.) -Gretchin Rubin article

Hope these ideas get you moving in a happier, healthier direction for your best life!!

Peace. Love and Light to you today. xoxo. -H

The power to MOVE!

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I was recently listening to Jonathan Fields podcast, “Goodlife Project” and was taken back by some information he and his guest were sharing. I would consider myself a pretty active person, I walk miles a day outside, sometimes add in some additional trampoline, walk/step, or dance exercises. BUT, when I heard them talking about how sitting for hours at a time can be worse than smoking packs of cigarettes, an alarm went off in my head!! What!! AND that even though I am active, THAT activity cannot replace the stagnant time of sitting. OMG!! WHAT!!

That was pretty shocking news to me. I do have daily hours of down time where I sit and work on writing, projects, searches, etc. I never would have thought that sitting could have such a negative impact on the mind and body. Who would have thought that even getting up when your Apple Watch says “stand” really does mean something important. It should be like a bell that goes off to a higher awareness and personal challenge to MOVE…even just a little.

I decided I needed to do some research into MOVEMENT and what is essential and imperative to best health.

JONATHAN FIELDS guest, Dr. Jennifer Heisz, author of Move your Body, Heal your Mind

They were talking about movement every 30 minutes to wake up the brain. It makes sense. Think about your brain like our computers. After a certain period of time they go into sleep mode. Our brains after sitting for awhile go into energy conserve mode, so waking everything up every 30 minutes for a movement break makes so much sense for overall wellness.

WOW!! In dealing with depression and anxiety: stress induced depression seems unresponsive to antidepressants, often because the root cause of it is not serotonin, or a lack of serotonin, which the drugs treat, but rather inflammation. And inflammation, when it gets into the brain, it alters these pathways that make it difficult to feel good. And so Exercise because it’s anti-inflammatory, the MYO kinds released from the muscle. Those actually create this anti-inflammatory effect. It is a pharmacy for people who have this drug resistant depression. It is the medicine they need and it, it has clinically significant benefits for depression reduction on par with antidepressant drugs. Just fascinating. 

How do we manage our health? How do we manage our mental health? Prescription drugs may be one part of it, but lifestyle and Exercise. Given that it has the same benefits at reducing our depression as a pharmaceutical, it just blows my mind that this is not part of the regular conversation.

Even a little bit of movement: Do a little bit of movement. In fact, what I recommend people do is just break up your sedentary time as a starting point. So we’re all sitting all day. Every thirty minutes just stand up. Do a two minute movement break. This is enough to restore blood flow to the brain.  Infusing the prefrontal cortex with oxygenated blood flow helps you focus, be more creative when we’re able to think outside the box are less likely to ruminate on negative thinking, which is a symptom of depression. And so it can start etching away at those symptoms that are preventing us from being active.

Our reaction to stress is also a big influencer: So I think sometimes it can be one thing, but sometimes it can also be the way we react to stress. So there’s some really interesting research that shows that it’s not necessarily the level of stress that you have in your Life, but how you react to it. There’s this research that shows when people are more Moody. So like if they get really high on those good days and really, really low, angry, intense on those bad days. And it’s this undulation this, you know, this pendulum that swings between good and bad days. That can really start to damage the body. That increases inflammation.  And then can cause Anxiety and depression.

Be gentle and compassionate with yourself and how you are actually FEELING: Check in with yourself and see how you are feeling. Do you need to adjust your workout to not be so intense on a day when you are feeling off or worn down from various stressors. Look at the emotional highs, lows, stresses, challenges, workloads you are dealing with and be gentle.

Try a mental health mode of exercise. So if I, if I have scheduled a thirty minute jog and I’m not feeling well, I’ll go for the thirty minute walk. I’ll put the time in, but I’ll take off the intensity. And I think that that’s just such a such a, a good approach to movement for mental health. 

Benefit of movement and sleep: Talk about NATURAL SLEEP AID…MOVEMENT. So ATP is the cell’s energy currency that we break down to get energy. And when we break down ATP, it produces this byproduct called adenosine and adenosine throughout the day as we do work, mental work, physical work, it starts to build up. And then once it reaches a certain threshold, it triggers sleep. So it’s a natural sleeping aid. The brain has receptors for adenosine that triggers sleep. And when we move more during the day, we break down more ATP. We build up more adenosine and so we sleep more soundly, we fall asleep faster and we trigger sleep because we’ve created more of this natural sleep aid. 

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A podcast that was interviewing Dr. Jennifer Heisz was mentioning some key ideas to get your body MOVING…you may have to trick your body and your brain into exercising. According to Dr. Heisz she suggests: take a sip of a sugary drink or throw in a piece of sugar gum, then turn on some of your favorite pump up music to release the dopamine.

She also talked about why exercise is able to help with anxiety. When we exercise, there’s a resiliency factor that’s released in the brain called neuro Y and this resiliency factor helps to calm.

Fear center called the amygdala. It’s the brain region. That’s like hypervigilant, constantly scanning the environment for threats, but also can be triggered by our thinking, and worries. And so this neuropeptide, Y can be released. By light to moderate activities. So which means you could be going for a brisk walk and that would be enough to increase neuropeptide. Y one thing that’s really interesting is that neuropeptide Y seems to protect the brain from trauma. So when we look at people who have gone to war, for example, some of them will return. With post traumatic stress disorder, but some won’t and the ones who are protected are the ones who have higher levels of neuropeptide. Y. and so we can build more of that resiliency factor with exercise, which I think is amazing. And then we don’t need to exercise vigorously for that. We can just exercise that light to moderate.

The problem is how we view stress. A lot of the time when we see it as negative or having an overly negative impact on our health, research shows that’s when it’s most damaging to our health is when we have that negative connotation or negative perception on it. So it’s not stress that’s good or bad. It’s our, our thinking that makes it that way.

Exercise helps train the stressors: So when stress is high and it’s negative, that amygdala, the fear center is on and it’s active. And so we’re not. We’re no longer responding to the situation at hand, we’re responding to our own vulnerability. Then we’re not our best self, we’re angry, we’re defensive, we’re negative. We are viewing everything through this lens of vulnerability and that’s when it that’s when it really becomes destructive. And so we can get ahead of that. We can start. To heal that and to manage our reaction, to stress using exercise because exercise is, it is technically a stressor. It does activate the stress system. But like I said, in this safe space that we control how long we go. We control how high it goes. It’s really is a way to Essentially like tone the stress system, like you’re flexing your stress muscle, and then that stress muscle grows stronger so that you can tolerate heavier stress loads without being so reactive. And then you are quicker to recover less feelings of vulnerability and the ugliness of stress that. It all it brings out in us, we can stay calm.

Every 30 minutes, stand up for two minute movement break. This is enough to increase, focus, creativity, to help restore blood flow to that prefrontal cortex that we need to be productive at work. 

So five minutes of this can be like jumping jacks, high knees, but it doesn’t have to be vigorous. It could also be just stretching. And this helps to helps us to stay focused.

10 minute self-paced walk has been shown to boost creativity. Three 30 minute brisk walks like in a week. That’s not that much time we’ve shown in my lab reduces anxiety. That’s also the typical prescription tested for reducing depression and in some people that works better than antidepressant drugs.

—https://mindfulmamamentor.com/move-your-body-heal-your-mind-jennifer-heisz-360/

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I bought her book and began reading it. I am almost half through it, but I thought I would add my little note highlights…

—Group-based exercises increase your pain tolerance.

–WOW!!!! All forms of exercise have the potential to make us feel good. A solo hike in nature. A fun-filled bike ride with friends. A deep dive into a refreshing pool. Or lifting heavy weights up overhead after a smooth snatch. That’s because exercising causes the release of a feel-good neurochemical called dopamine. Exercise increases dopamine 130 percent above baseline, which is comparable to the dopamine released by other naturally rewarding things like food (130 percent) and sex (160 percent). Importantly though—and the real reason that its highly unlikely for me or any other athlete to be truly addicted to exercise—the dopamine released by exercise is significantly less than the dopamine released by alcohol, nicotine, and other drugs of abuse. Alcohol increases dopamine by 200 percent, Nicotine by 225 percent, Cocaine by 350 percent and Amphetamine by 1100 percent. Although that may sound like a lot of pleasure, too much dopamine is bad for the brain and can result in serious and potentially fatal brain damage.

–Her section on “The Brain on Drugs” I immediately took a screen shot and sent to my daughter’s previous college boyfriend. We care about him and he is at that prime age of lets just party and live it up while we are young & I told him that he needed to read this part of the book to help protect his brilliant, engineering mind.

“Technically, drugs and alcohol “cook” the brain’s reward system by inundating it with too much dopamine. The brain reacts by imposing tight restrictions: Less dopamine is produced, and fewer dopamine receptors are made. This is done to alleviate some of the pressure, but it has some unintended side effects.

For one, the small amount of dopamine left in the addict’s brain when sober now has even less of a chance of binding to its receptor. If dopamine can’t bind to its receptor, it can’t induce pleasure. This is the ultimate killjoy.

At first, naturally rewarding things like food and sex seem very dull. Soon, the drug itself loses potency, and the addict must consume more and more of the drug to get the same high {aka drug tolerance] That is why seemingly harmless experimentation can quickly spiral out of control….Things get more difficult the longer the addict abuses, as the brain continues to strip away more and more of its dopamine receptors. Now only supernatural pleasures can give the brain the pleasure it needs to feel good. This is when the three of the four C’s of addiction arise: cravings, compulsion to use, and loss of control in the amount and frequency of use.

The brain then changes the way it makes decisions, giving rise to the fourth and final C of addiction: Use despite negative Consequences. The dopamine-starved brain demands instant gratification, almost to the point that it would rather die than wait. It convinces the addict that the immediate benefits of a quick fix outweigh any long-term costs of drug use. This is not true. In reality, the addict risks losing it all. Health…relationships…finances…freedom. Even life itself.

—–BUT, there is hope. in her book (pg 71–talks about getting the addicts brain to bounce back. It just takes some time and effort to rebuild the system)——-

—Regular exercise tones the stress response, making us less reactive to psychological stressors, and this promotes optimism, even amidst the most seemingly uncontrollable situations.

—30 minutes of light-to-moderate-intensity exercise three times a week is enough to soothe your anxious mind.

—Get out of your head and into your body: When your head is a mess with anxiety, you have but one choice: You need to get out of your head and into your body. You can do that by paying attention to your breath. I see your skepticism, but I have a little neuroscience to back this up. In one study, researchers recruited twenty-six people who had no experience with meditation or yoga. Over 2 weeks, the participants learned how to pay attention to their breath by becoming aware of the body’s position and focusing on the sensation of breathing such as the rise and fall of the belly or the rush of air under the nose.

Why attention to breath is so effective at resetting an anxious mind? Because paying attention to the breath capitalizes on the fact that the mind can only focus on one thing at a time. Therefore, the more time the mind spends attending to the body (and its breath), the less it has time to worry.

—She talks about a huge study done on exercise and depression on page 61 & found big findings on how EVEN JUST ONE HOUR A WEEK OF EXERCISE MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE!!

—Why the drugs don’t work: Antidepressant drugs only treat a specific biological dysfunction, namely low serotonin. Outdated medical practices assume that low serotonin causes all mood disturbances. This is not true, but as of right now, no further testing is done to prove otherwise.

—Unexpected cause of mental illness: surprisingly, its likely inflammation

—Just breathe to CALM.

—Exercise rescues happiness in depressed patients. She talks about Exercise vs Antidepressants & how in some cases exercise is the winner and can work better in some situations.

SO many great things to learn about!! I LOVE learning, so this book has been full of good info to help create a healthier life—mind and body. When I finish the book, I will post more highlights. GOOD INFO IS ALWAYS GOOD.

Make today a little healthier for you. YOU are your greatest investment in your life. Take the time to learn, to grow, to make better choices, to MOVE.

Peace, Love and Light to you today. xoxo. -H

Building Emotional Growth

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Wow! I just got slapped in the face with an article that screamed at me about my recent conversations with my beloved daughter. We have had soo many conversations that end up going so south because she gets irritated with me, doesn’t want to talk about certain topics, flat out tells me to shut up or stop!…it goes on. It has been so hard and with that, an emotional roller coaster.

The article Women who haven’t grown up emotionally usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it) -geediting.com on google listed these 8 behaviors that were pretty telling with what behaviors my daughter has been sharing—1. Overly Reactive. 2. Difficulty in accepting responsibility. 3. Avoiding difficult conversations. 4. Dependence on external validation. 5. Struggle with empathy. 6. Difficulty in setting boundaries. 7. Impulsive decision making. 8. Perfectionism

Wow. This was VERY eye opening for me. I have this BEAUTIFUL, college-age daughter that leads, guides, works a great job, has soo many great skills, gifts and talents, but I believe her emotional resilience is in need of a some growth before it takes a further toll on her health. I worry for her and her emotional wellness and well-being.

My key takeaways from the article: (my summaries mixed)

—Practice mindfulness to help pause, reflect, and respond rather than react. [SEE practices below]

—Take responsibility

—Tackle discomfort head on is how we grow and get better. Embrace the tricky or uncomfortable conversations will help all of your relationships become stronger.

—Don’t let the craving for external validation rule you. Your feeling good should not hinge on the thoughts or opinions of others.This is another place where mindfulness can help switch from seeking approval on the outside to finding it within. YOUR worth is up to YOU. [ideas below]

—Practice empathy to create deeper connections.

—Honor your own needs and necessities by having your own personal boundaries.

—Perfectionism often stems from fear of rejection or judgment. Its a defense mechanism that can hinder personal growth. Strive for progress not perfection. [See tips on doing this below]

MY ADDITIONAL RESEARCH:

My additional research into this topic to help anyone out there in need of some emotional growth—be gentle. Begin. Here are some additional directions to help…

Emotional maturity means having the self-control to manage your emotions and work to understand them. -betterup

“It is a choice. No matter how frustrating or boring or constraining or painful or
oppressive our experience, we can always choose how we respond.”
-EDITH EGER

HOW TO IMPROVE EMOTIONAL MATURITY

  1. Develop a GROWTH MINDSET: Focus on continuous self-improvement and growth rather than nitpicking failures and shortcomings.
  2. Set HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: A great sign of standing up for yourself
  3. UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTIONS: When you understand what makes you angry, sad, or excited, you can use that to your advantage instead of retaliating at the first hint of negativity. Ask yourself what makes you mad or uncomfortable and why.
  4. OWN your mistakes: own up and take responsibility for mistakes or errors–dont blame. Next time you make a mistake, apologize for your error without making excuses for yourself. View each mistake as a learning opportunity to expand your skills and learn more about yourself.
  5. Find a ROLE MODEL: Watch as they handle challenging situations and how they respect their emotions. It could give you insight into better habits to form and inspire you to keep working to develop your maturity.
  6. now that you understand what emotional maturity means, you can learn to stop bottling up your feelings and fearing vulnerability. Emotional maturity helps you communicate better with others, have healthier relation. -Betterup article

Mindfulness is about observing how you’re feeling in the moment without judging yourself. -childmind

Identifying the PATTERN is AWARENESS; CHOOSING no to repeat the cycle is GROWTH. -Billy Chapata

HEALTHY HABITS & SELF-CARE can help.

MINDFULNESS tips and suggestions: Go on a walking meditation, begin a gratitude journal, practice mindful eating, do a body scan before bed, listen to a guided meditation, do a loving-kindness meditation, set daily intentions for yourself, get out in nature, identify feelings,

Exercises From Self.com

3 minute Breathing Space Here’s how to practice the “three-minute breathing space” technique, as described by Dr. Vieten:

  1. Set a timer for three minutes.
  2. Sit in a comfortable position if you can (though standing works too), ideally in a relatively calm environment (the bathroom counts), and close your eyes if you want. Notice what’s happening in your mind and body right now. Are you worrying about a problem or mistake? Do you feel warm or cold? Is there a distracting sound in your environment? Simply notice whatever you’re experiencing at the moment.
  3. Bring your full attention to your breath, focusing on the sensation of the air flowing in and out of your body.
  4. Expand your zone of awareness further out from your breathing so that it includes your whole body. You might notice your posture, your facial expression, or areas of muscle tension. Again, simply pay attention to whatever’s going on with your body.

Four-seven-eight mindful breathing The four-seven-eight mindfulness technique is a type of deep breathing exercise. It’s particularly handy for anxiety, as feeling anxious can deregulate our breathing patterns, says Dr. Urgola.8 “This technique can also be helpful if you’re having trouble sleeping,” she adds, since stress can prevent you from nodding off. To practice four-seven-eight mindfulness breathing:

  1. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable. If not, gaze softly gaze at a spot in your environment.
  2. Inhale for a count of four.
  3. Hold for a count of seven.
  4. Exhale for a count of eight.
  5. Make sure you’re breathing deeply, from the pit of your belly (compared to shallow breathing from your chest) so your lungs fill up fully.
  6. Stay with this pattern as best you can.
  7. End the exercise whenever you feel ready to stop.

People watching exercise You can turn your commute or leisurely walk into a mini mindfulness session by noticing strangers around you. When you notice people, it creates an opportunity to detach from your own mental chatter, allowing you to practice awareness without actually meditating.

  1. Take a moment to notice the people around you.
  2. As you observe them, try not to form judgments or stories about them. If your mind starts to judge or assume, try to let those thoughts go and bring your focus back to a neutral awareness.
  3. If you feel comfortable, you can also try engaging one or more strangers. Maybe say hello, make eye contact, or offer a smile.
  4. If not, that’s fine too. Simply observe whoever is currently around you.

From positive psychology.com they recommend an actual list of week by week mindfulness exercises https://positivepsychology.com/mindfulness-exercises-techniques-activities/

Mindful Eating habits: Mindful eating involves paying closer attention to your food and how it makes you feel. In addition to helping you learn to distinguish between physical and emotional hunger, it may also help reduce disordered eating behaviors and support weight loss. Mindful eating is about using mindfulness to reach a state of full attention to your experiences, cravings, and physical cues when eating.

Fundamentally, mindful eating involves:

  • eating slowly and without distraction
  • listening to physical hunger cues and eating only until you’re full
  • distinguishing between true hunger and non-hunger triggers for eating
  • engaging your senses by noticing colors, smells, sounds, textures, and flavors
  • learning to cope with guilt and anxiety about food
  • eating to maintain overall health and well-being
  • noticing the effects food has on your feelings and body
  • appreciating your food. –taken from health line.com

Mindful Walking exercise: https://www.apa.org/ed/precollege/topss/lessons/activities/activity-mindful-walking.pdf

EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATIONS: Emotions can hit quickly. Become aware of what you are feeling. Name your feelings. [sadness, anger, resentment,—negatives may be hiding underlying fears. Be gentle with yourself and find self-compassion within your emotional reactions. It is okay to not feel okay. Just helping identify what you are feeling is key to understand what emotions and where they are coming from.

7 strategies that can help to manage emotions in a healthy and helpful way. [from better up.com]

—Identify triggers: You shouldn’t try to avoid negative emotions — or be afraid of them. But you also don’t have to keep putting yourself in a situation that brings on unpleasant emotions. Start to look for patterns or factors that are present when you start to feel strong emotions. This requires some curiosity and honesty. Did something make you feel small? Strong emotions often spring up out of our deep-seated insecurities, especially the ones we hide. What is happening around you and what past experiences does it bring up for you? 

–Tune into physical symptoms Pay attention to how you are feeling, including whether you are feeling hungry or tired. These factors can exacerbate your emotions and cause you to interpret your emotions more strongly. If you can address the underlying issue (e.g. hunger, exhaustion), you can change your emotional response.

—Consider the story you are telling yourself 

—Engage in positive self-talk: When our emotions feel overwhelming, our self-talk can become negative: “I messed up again” or “everyone else is so awful.” If you treat yourself with empathy, you can replace some of this negative talk with positive comments. Try encouraging yourself by saying “I always try so hard” or “People are doing the best they can.” This shift can help mitigate the emotions we’re feeling. You can still be frustrated with a situation that isn’t working but no longer have to assign blame or generalize it beyond the situation.

—Make a choice about how to respond: In most situations, we have a choice about how to respond. If you tend to respond to feelings of anger by lashing out at people, you likely notice the negative impact it is having on your relationships. You might also notice that it doesn’t feel good. Or, it feels good at the moment, but the consequences are painful. 

Next time you feel anger or fear, recognize that you get to choose how you want to respond. That recognition is powerful. Rather than lashing out, can you try a different response? Is it possible for you to tell someone that you’re feeling angry rather than speaking harshly to them? Get curious about what will happen if you switch up your responses. How did you feel? How did the other person respond?

–Look for positive emotions: Human beings naturally attribute more weight to negative emotions than positive ones. This is known as negativity bias. Negative emotions, like disgust, anger, and sadness tend to carry a lot of weight. Positive feelings, like contentment, interest, and gratitude are quieter. Making a habit of noticing these positive experiences can boost resilience and well-being.

IT IS OKAY TO NOT FEEL OKAY.

PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION. A few exercises to help with perfectionism: Become aware of your thoughts…journal your thoughts to be able to see and identify what is triggering and creating the behavior. Once you identify, then you can begin to change. Look at your thoughts and question the evidence of if the thoughts are real or have any validity. Let go and allow for mistakes, mis-steps, and help your brain understand that everything will be okay & that it is an opportunity for greater growth mindsets. Help yourself with better self-talk. No one can do it for you, but you. Alter and improve the daily talk that you live with. Your self-talk effects your self-esteem and will lead to a healthier relationship with yourself, others and your overall wellness in life. Become aware and be gentle with your perfectionistic tendencies. When you can acknowledge that you have these deep seeded feelings within & can become aware that this is a deeper problem, you can begin to take action to help yourself. Begin to be gentle in your attitude and actions with what you create, how you work, share ideas, set goals…with an attitude of “this is good enough” and does not have to be perfect. Let go of impossible goals & set reasonable ones for yourself.

Becoming aware of patterns & create a knowing that progress is fluid and ever-changing . Be flexible with yourself and your directions . Begin to LET GO of the pressure and the fear that creates the false need of striving for perfection .

HELPING GET OVER THE NEED FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION: mindfulness meditation [see above] . Affirmations or personal mantras [also helps reduce negative self-talk] . Surround yourself with people who lift and support rather than deplete you emotionally . Take the time to slow down and give yourself the validation you are seeking . Create YOUR own support system…how

A few ideas from Tiny Buddha suggests: making a special “YOU” section in your daily gratitude journal. Write down the things you’ve done well, the choices you’ve made that you’re proud of, the progress you’ve made, and even the things that required no action at all—for example, the time you gave yourself to simply be. When you regularly praise yourself, self-validation becomes a habit you can depend on when you need it the most.

Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Oftentimes, when we’re feeling down on ourselves, we feel a (sometimes subconscious) desire to punish ourselves. When we reject or deprive ourselves in this way, we exacerbate our feelings, because we then feel bad about two things: the original incident and the pain we’re causing ourselves.

If you’re feeling down, or down on yourself, ask yourself: “What does my body need? What does my mind need? What does my spirit need?” Or otherwise expressed: What will make you feel better, more stable, healthier, and more balanced? You may find that you need to take a walk to feel more energized, take a nap to feel better rested, practice deep breathing to clear your head, or drink some water to hydrate yourself. This is validating yourself in action. Whenever you address your needs, you reinforce to yourself that they are important, regardless of whatever you did or didn’t do previously.

HAVE A TOOL KIT OF GOOD THINGS TO GO TO WHEN OVERWHELM OR EMOTIONS HIT: have a certain number of songs in a ‘stress less’ or ‘calm’ playlist, go for a walk to get out in nature, practice using your senses to calm (To Touch: silly putty, stuffed animal, stress ball, smooth stone, See: coloring book, Happy photos of friends or family or inspiring happy places, Smell: Scented candle, favorite lip gloss or perfume, Hear: Guided meditation, short podcast, favorite song playlist Taste: favorite snack, something sweet and salty, mints or gum, favorite drink) Do certain activities to ground you. Write a loving note to yourself or put in a compliment journal of nice things people have said to you, so when you are feeling down or anxious—you have some kind words to lift you.

Another idea that I shared with my daughter—I gave her a picture of her when she was six years old. I told her to look at the little girl & I asked her, “Would you tell that sweet, beautiful girl all the horrible things you tell yourself? You wouldn’t tell her that ‘she is going nowhere,’ ‘ that she is not happy,’ ‘that she is not where she needs to be in life and should be doing better.'” It was heartbreaking to hear my daughter talk so critiquely of herself. I told her to take the picture of her as a young girl and when she starts to say mean thing to herself or listening to the harsh critic in her head..to look at that picture and tell her, “everything is going to be alright. I love you.”

“When we’re anxious, we get into the cycle of repeating the same thoughts, the same behaviors, over and over again,” says Jennifer Teplin, LCSW, a licensed therapist and the founder of Manhattan Wellness in New York City. “Distraction is grounding and can break us out of those repetitive thoughts.” 

Having stuff you can smell, taste, see, touch, or hear is more likely to calm you down and help you focus your thoughts on something tangible at the same time. -jedfoundation.org

I hope these ideas help you or someone you love reach a little higher, be a bit gentler and find the deeper love that we all seek in one way or another. We are all just trying to do our best. We all have different journeys, experiences, struggles…it will get better. Just keep LOVE in your heart.

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

Give yourself the LOVE and GENTLE CARE YOU NEED. xoxox. -H

Women who haven’t grown up emotionally usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)
Women who haven’t grown up emotionally usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

LOLA LOVE…we LOVE YOU

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How lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. -Winnie the Pooh

I just got off the phone with my Dad explaining the sad, but loving situation of having to put our dog, our beautiful LOLA LOVE to sleep and send her to heaven. My Dad has never been a dog person and personally admitted to me that he could never understand how people could become so attached to their animals. He thought it was kind of ridiculous. He got off the phone with me and we were both in tears. He had expressed his deep love and care and a genuine understanding of what people feel and go through during such a loss. He thanked me for a lesson he needed to feel and understand. It was a very sweet conversation with my parents. Thank you Mom and Dad for being so genuine in your care, compassion and heartfelt sincerity. It is in moments of this deep sorrow we need to show up for one another and just be compassion. Thank you. xoxo

Lola Lessons

LOLA had so many lessons to share. This little dog came to us malnourished, would literally hide away, poop and eat her poop because she had been so abused. We don’t know her entire story but the bits and pieces we do know—abused by a husband on a farm [he threatened to kill Lola, so the wife was trying to find her a home before Lola was seriously injured]; she lived with multiple dogs [why she LOVED food and ate everything as fast as she could in one sitting & was very territorial for awhile with food]; a child that had mental problems and would just pop bubble wrap [why Lola hated certain noises and would run away]; a woman that had her own problems emotionally & was in no place to take care of anyone. When we got Lola she had recently had a surgery [that we just assumed was a benign tumor], so the first thing we did was get her a cone so she could not lick the wound. Lola was not use to eating food, so after the first couple of weeks of eating she became really sick & literally found a place in our backyard to hide out and die. We couldn’t find her one afternoon & after hours of searching we found her hidden behind the air conditioner system under a bush. She was not well. We did all we could to make her feel loved and cared for.

Then there was our other dog, Teag. The very reason why we felt we needed another dog, so he would not be as anxious when we would leave the house. He and Lola met, were fine, but ignored each other for awhile. Lola even got territorial if he got near her. She had an attitude and so did he. He would get jealous of any and all attention Lola got. It was a tough situation for awhile. They finally started getting use to each other. Teag even started to wag his tail (which he had never done) and Lola began to learn how to play growl and play with toys because of Teag. They were learning to love, play, care and it was sweet. They still just tolerated one another but with a fond friendship woven in. I remember the first time they actually sat together on one of our ottomans and their bums were touching. All of us cheered with happiness, “look their bums are touching.” Eventually they could sit on the same pillow with no growling and we knew they were finally friends. When they would be on walks together—they were a terrible tag team!! If there was a female dog anywhere near by Lola was on it to protect her little man. Lola always had Teag’s back. They were loyal friends. Was there still jealousy and attitude on occasion—always from Teag, but Lola just turned into nothing but Love. She would occasionally throw her weight around to get her way, but there was no question she loved him.

We have had our little Lola for a little over three and a half years. AND after 3.5 years she FELT so much LOVE, but we ended up FEELING and receiving even more LOVE from our LOLA. She became a sincere gift to our family. That may not seem like a very long time, but with this sweet dog—not long enough. She just came to genuinely LOVE our family and we fell deeply in love with her. Her sweet, loving spirit is definitely missed in our home and it has been hard to see her dog dishes, her little, turquoise fleece she would wear everywhere, her toys she loved, the spots she would lay down in our house, her blankets….She would have weekend slumber parties with our daughter when she was home for the weekends from college. She had special places she pulled the leash to go on walks and every time we ventured to a certain green space we called “dog island” her and Teag would jump around and rush to the door. She was full of joy! Another funny story were the squirrels on our deck. Lola would sit at the back, glass door and not move her head but her giant eyes would slowly watch the squirrel get closer and closer. Her body did not flinch and then to see her big eyes follow the squirrels every move & then watch her head slowly begin to move with such intention…priceless. [You had to be there to see it. ] She would have the most intentional stares as you talked to her. She had these big, beautiful puppy dog eyes that seemed to hang on your every glance and conversation you would have with her. AND, don’t even mention, if you said, “treat” or “chicken” she would jump for JOY and almost dance to show and share her excitement. She was a different dog than the Lola who was broken and sad when she first arrived. Despite everything—she always had a loving, no worries soul. She always did her best & had the best attitude. She had a prissy walk, was totally a girly girl and she even had the tiny feet and the walk to prove it. She is and will only be THE ONE AND ONLY LOLA LOVIE…HELLOLA…LOWLY…GOLDEN GIRL…GIRLIE…DOG DAUGHTER. Our LOLA had a zest for life, she would hear a flock of birds flying over head and stop and watch them fly by. She would come across a newt in the yard and gently smell and watch it. She had her paths she liked to walk and lit up at any opportunity to go in the car or on a walk. She loved more than anything to be with her people.

In the end…’having a dog will bless you with many of your happiest days of your life, and one of the worst.’

My husband called her his, “dog daughter” and selflessly has been serving and caring for her health necessities for months. We found out about six months ago that she had cancer and that it had spread to her lungs and she would probably only have a few “good months.” It was a sad blow, but it was harder watching the hole that they took the biopsy tissue get bigger and bigger, not healing, and her body slowly rotting. She would literally smell and lick every spot she would lie down. She did not want to leave a mess or be a burden for anyone. Sadly, we had to pull out the cone for night time sleeps or when we were not around and she was alone because the smell and pain were just too much and she would lick the wound any chance she had. [She had a cone when we first got her and when we would finally have her, sadly—full circle]. My sweet husband bathed and wrapped her wounds morning and night to try to ease her smell and pain. It was a beautiful labor of love. Lola started getting a cough and we knew things were just going to get worse and her health would spiral quickly. We did not want this beautiful, loving, loyal, sweetest little thing to suffer.

In the last couple of weeks, she became even more close—she wanted to always be touching, cuddling, loving on someone. She did not want to be alone. The last few days we all slept on our big, feather couch just to make her comfortable and all be together.

I wrote this in my notes a few days earlier, “As her body slowly rots and the stench becomes unbearable. We wonder how she can stand to feel this way, Yet, every moment she can—-she follows, curls up next to us, wags her tail at any attention, affection or glance. She does not want to be alone in the end.” 

Our little LOLA til the very end just kept wagging her tail, smelling and licking up any possible fluids from her body, and just happy to be near anyone. Her spirit was only LOVE. She ran as fast as she could with Teag, she explored, smelled everything she could possibly smell, ate all the treats and just left a huge hole of LOVE in our hearts.. She will always be with us. LOVE YOU, LOLA.

Moments I cannot forget & need to remember

A few sweet moments I don’t want to forget: How brave my beautiful daughter was during Lola’s passing. She was in-tune to Lola’s needs. I couldn’t go through with everything & at one moment I had to leave—it was just too much for my heart. My daughter was strong and helped my sweet husband—they held her tight and were there. They both said it was the hardest experience they have ever had. My husband said, “How could our Lola dying be harder than losing both of my Dad’s?” I said, “because they are so unconditional. Humans struggle in that. Animals are there and effortlessly just love.”

‘BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE.’ -CJ FRICK My husband got home to our house and broke down in tears, “I miss her so much. I miss taking care of her and feeling like she needed me.” I immediately broke down, “I need you.” We just balled together. It was a huge, very emotional day for all of us. This was so tender to see the sweet relationship that had developed between my husband and Lola. When we first were looking at her and talking about buying her, my husband was not excited and definitely did not want to pay for her. He was going along with the consensus. He did NOT want another dog. Obviously, Lola was not just some dog. Lola and him created such a love affair. She would daily wander down and bump open his office door to just sit on his floor near his desk to be near him. It was so sweet to see them together. Such LOVE was shared.

‘DOGS ARE OUR LINK TO PARADISE’. -Milan Kundera On the way to the vet the sky had bright, blue patches with clouds. We passed some lovely, green fields by my daughters apartment and I just had this thought, “Why can’t this be easier. Why can’t we just let Lola out of the car, watch her run effortlessly into this gorgeous field, headed for the blue sky & poof, heaven takes her in a glimpse. We just smile watching her run and blowing her our love and kisses for her next life.” It was a beautiful image. One that I keep thinking about & trying to imagine that is how it is.

Another thing I don’t want to forget. I had to leave the room because when they sedated Lola she began to whimper and it became too hard for me. BUT, on the way home, I was sobbing and I heard the same whimper sound coming from within me. Like a flood of emotion that washed over me, I felt, “that is the same sound as Lola’s whimper. She was making that sound because of how much she was going to miss us.” A huge wash of peace hit me as I shared that sweet sentiment with my husband. He broke down and so appreciated that thought. He needed to hear that because the whole experience was so hard.

We will genuinely miss our beautiful LOLA LOVIE but we know she is running in a lush, green field with a bright blue sky beyond the horizon with butterflies dancing around, birds flying over head and her little body not feeling any pain…just LOVE. A LOVE SO DEEP THAT OUR SWEET WHIMPERS CAN BE FELT from ONE ANOTHER—it is like a sweet circle of LOVE that goes from our loving LOLA to us on earth and back to her. We have a beautiful connection from heaven to earth.

LOVE YOU, LOLA

We MISS you soo much. You have left a BEAUTIFUL, HAPPY, LOVING hole in our hearts that will never be filled until we hug you again…one day. XOXOXO

Don’t cry because its over, SMILE because it happened. -dr seuss

I am SOO genuinely HAPPY we had this beautiful soul in our life. I SMILE now because we got the short time to LOVE and be LOVED by her. xoxo LOVE YOU LOLA

Peace, Love and Light to you. -H

PLEASE go hug those furry LOVES you have in your life and be so grateful to hug them now & forever.

In need of a little perspective?

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Life is funny like that.

I woke up to a “Dense FOG” warning this morning from my amazon Alexa weather alert. I got up anyway and went on my daily walk, but today took me back to a few memories of various places. I walked the golf course near my home and it took me back to the timing of almost three years ago when we first moved to the Oregon Coast. I noticed the chill in the air, the crispness, the quiet, the trees that almost seemed to peak out from the dense, cloud-like fog & if you looked up you would see blue sky, almost as if it were waiting for its turn to show up with the sunlight. Before moving to Oregon I had only really experienced dense fog on a few occasions & every time I would RUN to a nearby park to take pictures because I had never seen trees covered in a surrounding fog. Now, I see trees in fog quite a bit. It is funny how the normal things become the ordinary and you begin to miss the magic of the out-of-the-ordinary moments.

I realized this today—perspective makes us take notice. I did not take my camera out of my pocket once this morning because I take it for granted that there will be more foggy days. It was a sad reality because TODAY is all you are promised. You never know what lies ahead for tomorrow. What if I suddenly had to move and missed my opportunities to take foggy photos of trees in the mist? What if I suddenly was unable to walk and enjoy the beautiful golf course of fog? What if…can play out in a variety of scenarios. We only have today. We only have precious moments. There are no guarantees—that is real perspective!

When you have the same environment day in and day out—-it is easy to take things for granted. It is easy to say, “Maybe I will walk that path tomorrow”…”maybe I will take that photo tomorrow”…”Maybe I will walk the beach”…”Maybe I will have that conversation with my brother”…”Maybe I will take the time to go see my daughter”…

I have a wonderful neighbor who moved to the Oregon Coast from California to be closer to her daughter. Her daughter lives a couple hours away, but my neighbor rarely goes to visit her. The daughter is moving this weekend and invited us to come help her move. We happily said yes, despite her mom not going to take the time to go. What does that say to her daughter about priorities…her as a priority…PERSPECTIVE?

I guess it just makes my heart sad to see a missed opportunity. It could also be that I heard a story about a family who lives near my sister in Utah. The family was getting ready to go to a family baptism for one of their six children. Unbeknownst to the Dad he backed the car up & ran over their 2 year old child and she died. I cannot even begin to feel or understand the grief or process of ever trying to get over that tragedy. My heart cannot even fathom the reality of such a loss.

It does make me stop and gain a greater perspective on my own relationship with my beloved daughter. It makes me want to have any chance of a deep conversation or connection with her. It makes me want to drive three hours to just to see her beautiful smile and know she is feeling good. It makes me want to hug her with my heart and soul because I CAN. PERSPECTIVE.

There is another saying that is posted on my fridge, “If you look the right way you can see that the whole world is a garden.” I LOVE that. It is about life’s perspectives. It is all in how you look and perceive things.

This past week we took my daughter on a spring break trip down the Southern Coast of Oregon to the Redwoods. The weather was a downpour and then sunshine and then wind…it was a whirlwind of weather. We trudged through mud and over puddles through the big trees, we watched and admired the sideways rain that pounded the tin roof on the cafe we were having breakfast at, we hid out in a beach cave from the high winds…it was an adventure. One of my daughter’s favorite—camping in a yurt!! PERSPECTIVE. haha. The funny thing I found fun on our excursion was tipping my camera phone sideways to get a different picture—a different perspective. I had sideways beaches, gardens, my family…my daughter laughed at me and said, “vogue shots” We both laughed every time I would tip my camera.

EVERY PERSPECTIVE IS DIFFERENT.

When you begin to see anew, look differently at a situation, go in closer for a detail, capture every beautiful smile, listen to the deeper conversations, stand still and admire the little things in your every day—you begin to truly NOTICE the things that matter most.

Life is in session! EMBRACE it. CHASE the PERSPECTIVES that make you stop and take notice of the moments that make your life worth living. The moments that make the memories worthwhile. The photos that capture the silly, the mundane, the laughter, the experiences, the adventures, the rain, the sunshine, the details that ARE your life.

—Peace. Love and Light to you. xoxo.—H

Positively GOOD stuff

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A quick post from GOOD stuff I have been saving on my phone…all GOOD tips to help with HAPPINESS and a POSITIVE life.

I am constantly learning, seeking, finding and searching for GOOD stuff to implement into my life. I AM a COLLECTOR of GOOD STUFF articles that sit open on my phone until I get to read the full article and take in all the tips. Smile. Smile. haha. Below are some from my phone. Hopefully you can find some GOOD stuff here. enJOY!

8 Concepts Practiced in the Happiest Countries You’ll Want To Adopt ASAP https://www.wellandgood.com/happiness-concepts/amp

I LOVE learning happiness hacks from the happiest places on earth. How do we get better in our own world unless we take the time to learn from some of the best around the globe.

The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life https://nextbigideaclub.com/magazine/fun-habit-pursuit-joy-wonder-can-change-life-bookbite/40342/amp

Always appreciate a good book and I also have a collection of so many books on good stuff. I have not read this book yet but I can appreciate the ideas and I love GOOD highlights that are a quick read. Thanks!

Dopamine Decorating https://nicenews.com/health-and-wellness/decorating-tips-make-your-home-happier/

I thought this was a funny take on decorating—the “dopamine” part. Its pretty much just decorating for feeling good—bright colors, mood settings, the feel good designs. Your environment is and does effect us, so it is good to be aware of what you need to have around you. The ‘feel good’ stuff.

36 questions to know yourself https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-of-relationships/202206/36-questions-everyone-should-ask-themselves?amp

Questions are always a GOOD go to when meeting someone. BUT, have you ever taken the time to sit down with YOURSELF and have a good conversation that may unlock a deeper depth of who you are, what you want to do, where you want to go, what you need…take the time.

16 mantras to start your day https://intermountainhealthcare.org/blogs/16-mantras-to-start-the-day-off-right

Mantras are a yay or nay situation on a personal basis. For me, I think creating good thoughts to start your day or to change your mindset is a healthy combination for GOOD mental health. Everyone has moments of doubt, negative self-talk and may need a quick pattern change.

7 Strengths of Deep Souls: The Thinkers We Need But Rarely Understand. https://sparkitivity.com/2018/04/07/7-strengths-of-deep-souls/

I genuinely resonated with this thought of being a deep soul because so often I have felt misunderstood and continue to seek a greater understanding of myself and my personal needs. May we all have the gift of feeling a little closer to where our heart lands.

65 Effective Ways to Enjoy Life And Be Happier (& Healthier) https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-enjoy-life/

I like the depth and ideas of this article AND it gives good action steps to help you create the more effective ways to find happiness in your life. LOTS OF GOOD stuff! Science tells us that close relationships are the number one indicator2 of health and happiness. In addition, the happiest people tend to take better care of their health3, practice spirituality4, and serve their communities5.

11 Mindset Activities and Tests Designed to Nurture Growth. https://positivepsychology.com/mindset-activities-tests/

Mindset theory and activities [fixed vs growth mindset]

How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/

Here is what self-compassion is: Having self-compassion means being able to relate to yourself in a way that’s forgiving, accepting, and loving when situations might be less than optimal. We know that it’s similar to (yet less permanent than) self-love and that it’s distinct from self-esteem & the article helps give you ideas how to incorporate more self-compassion into your life. We all need that.

11 Ways to Practice Self-Love That Therapists Swear By. https://www.wondermind.com/article/self-love/?utm_source=Search_Paid&utm_medium=Google&utm_campaign=contenthub_articles&utm_content=11-Ways-to-Practice-&gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwwb6lBhBJEiwAbuVUSlNEsLeR2iYhX6wWi5TMBgjA8ES8tfOwFlbGljjTEZ95E_atlM3noxoCxgIQAvD_BwE

A GOOD list of general ways to help you help yourself.

Knowing Your Worth: How to Boost Self-Worth and Self-Confidence. https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/knowing-your-worth.html

Science based guide to helping you boost your self-worth and self-confidence. Low self-worth was the #1 predictor of unhappiness. Knowing your worth and believing that you are indeed worthy is absolutely essential for happiness and well-being. This article covers ways to help find and better know your own worth.

Harnessing the Healing Power of Music https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/articles/2022/08/harnessing-the-healing-power-of-music

9 positive psychology books https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/9-positive-psychology-books-happier-saner-more-balanced-2024.html

4 free happiness courses you can start today for a more positive 2024. https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/01/03/4-free-happiness-courses-that-you-can-start-today-for-a-positive-2024.html

People share profound habits https://www.buzzfeed.com/ravenishak/things-that-improve-quality-of-life

I am of the opinion that you can never learn too much or gain enough wisdom from other people. There is so much out there to learn. Keep at it. We are all striving to grow and improve every day. Life is in session and we are taking the time and walking the best paths to improvement. Keep moving…keep going…keep doing. You got this!!

Peace, Love and Light to you today. xoxo. -H

YOU matter.

Published on by goforthegood12 Comments

My younger brother unexpectedly died earlier this year and it was a tremendous shock to my entire family. When I think about him, I have a mix of emotions because so much of his life he felt lost and didn’t feel like he mattered. He often felt like no one would care if he was gone. He attempted suicide multiple times throughout his life and I was there for it all. I was a witness to his life—the pain, the heartache, the hope, the loss, the highs and lows. He was my little brother.

My last couple conversations with him were heartbreaking and we were both in tears talking about how his life did matter and that he would be missed. I felt like I was constantly trying to convince him of his importance and that he did matter.

It is funny how losing someone alters your life. I have had a terrible cold this past week and have found myself watching a home improvement show that has one of the show hosts who looks and has similarities to my brother. It makes me miss him even more. I watch this host and see my brother on certain angles, certain shots of his red beard, far off in the distance. I know it is not my brother but its funny to see someone with similarities and you just want a few minutes more with the one you cared about so deeply.

I LOVE you, Scotty. I miss you. xoxo

I wanted to do this post about the importance of MATTERING. It is a vital need. I think we have generations who are lacking in this necessity and I wanted to write something that may bring about some sort of awareness.

According to an article by the NYTimes, Dr. Flett, now a professor at York University and the author of “The Psychology of Mattering,” is one of the world’s foremost authorities on the subject. He and other experts agree that a sense of mattering is necessary for human flourishing, and while some factors are out of our control, there are steps, both big and small, that everyone can take to enhance it.

To matter, people must feel valued — heard, appreciated and cared for — and they must feel like they add value in ways that make them feel capable, important and trusted, said Isaac Prilleltensky, a professor at the University of Miami and a co-author of “How People Matter.” It’s a two-part definition: feeling valued and adding value.https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/27/well/mind/mental-health-mattering-self-esteem.html#:~:text=Research%20suggests%20that%20people%20who,and%20increased%20risk%20of%20suicide.

According to a Psychology Today article, However, while belonging does give a person a feeling that they are a “qualified member” of a group, it may not have the same positive effect of feeling that they matter to the group to which they belong. “Belonging” doesn’t necessarily mean as much as “mattering” to others (Hallam, 2023).

Think about how we use the word, belonging. My possessions are my belongings, but not all of my possessions matter to me. The scissors belong in the kitchen drawer, and my plates belong in the cabinet. I belong to the team, but do my contributions matter? You belong to your family, but do they show you that your presence matters?

Mattering is the product of two distinct processes at play: feeling valued by others and feeling that you add value to the group (Prilleltensky, 2014).

We feel that we matter when others express appreciation for what we bring and what we do. Belonging may mean that there’s a place for us or that we are “entitled” to a place, but when we matter, it means that others are grateful to have us show up in that place. Belonging is knowing that there is a place at the table for me, but mattering is knowing that the others at the table need me there to feel complete.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202309/do-you-feel-you-matter-to-the-important-people-in-your-life

My thoughts on the topic:

Others around you know they matter because of YOU and how you treat them.

I SEE YOU. Help people feel noticed. I think this is a powerful statement when talking about helping someone feel like they matter. I think many people do not feel seen or heard. They are just, almost, existing. Here are a few basics: Smiling is a simple way to help someone—anyone feel noticed. Saying hello and acknowledging another. Giving a warm hug. Give a genuine thank you in all you do [whether it is thanking a waiter for their cheerful attitude or being prompt or positive to thanking someone you see every day with a sincere note, take the time to say thank you]. Actively listen and make time to truly see and acknowledge them. Pay attention. Listen and hear what they are saying (be aware to not be listening & thinking about your own response) Another part of listening is paying attention to what they are saying, so you can recall details about their life, their favorites, their interests, etc. & be able to talk to them about those things at later dates. Put away your phone! Send a text with a kind note just to check on them and connect. Look someone in the eyes when you are in their presence and let them know how glad you are they are there with you. Be fully present.

YOU MATTER. Help others see they are important. How can we help others know they matter? Well, be responsive. Who definitely feels a lack of mattering when you send a text, it says its been read but you get no response, Right? OR, when you are with someone & they get a message from someone else & they have to look at their phone or respond at that same moment. It doesn’t make you feel very important, or that they are being present with you, right? Another thing you can do to show others they matter, be interested in them, genuinely care, and ask questions. My daughter gets so frustrated with the dating game because so many of the guys she talks to or dates are so one sided. They don’t seem to ever ask or be interested in her. They respond with answers about their day, their interests…rarely ask about her. That does not make her feel like she matters to them.

What else can we do to help others know they matter? Keep good eye contact, do personal, interested check-ins on their lives and what is important to them. [ex: my daughter loves to keep people’s bdays in her calendar so she can send a fun shoutout to friends and family on their day. When possible she sends it in a group text so others can chime in with additional messages] Give an authentic compliment. Genuinely listening to someone will really let them know that they matter. When you ask a question, wait for an answer. Give a gift to show someone they matter, whether it is a gift of your time or a small token of your appreciation, like a meal, a drawing or poem you create, a song you share, a memory you make together, etc.

YOU ARE NEEDED. Help others see they are needed. Praise and appreciate others and let them know they are necessary in your life, your community, organization, work, school, etc. People need to hear specific positive strengths, the difference they are making, why they are needed. How to do that? Ask someone their thoughts or opinions on a specific topic or perspective. Share with others what makes them special or needed to you on a personal level. Be specific when sharing your feelings [ie: “I love and appreciate you” vs “I love that you are in my life, you bring such a playful, light-hearted attitude to our relationship.”] When you depend and build trust with someone it tells them they are needed.

MATTERING CREATES PURPOSE. I know when it came to my brother and his mental wellness I always tried to be there to talk him off a ledge or guide him towards getting help for his addictions. I would send him positive books or podcasts to hopefully help him feel better, etc. I felt I had some purpose in helping his life matter. That then also gave me the satisfaction of feeling like I mattered to someone. When my brother died, my mom in tears said, ” he doesn’t need me anymore.” My heart ached for her because she felt like a piece of her purpose was gone. It is like a circle of purpose in meeting one another’s needs in a way. Whether we smile at a stranger, pick up a sea star and send it back into the ocean, volunteer to tutor kids after school, pick up trash at a nearby park, coach little league, or answer calls on a help line, etc. We can find a sense of purpose…a place or action that helps us feel value, which helps us matter overall.

Experiencing mattering also reaffirms that we contribute to others and that we have a purpose. A sense of purpose is associated with increased dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, also known as the “happiness trifecta,” the neurotransmitters that control for mood, movement, and motivation.-zachmercurio.com

DONT FORGET YOU. Incredible YOU! You matter. It is easier sometimes to focus on all the ways we don’t get noticed or appreciated. You may need to really focus and evaluate the real impact you have on the lives around you. You may have to compliment yourself and notice your gifts, talents and strengths. You may have to seek and find the ways you try to utilize your skillset for the greater good. You may have moments where YOU need to remind yourself of why and how you matter. That is okay.

DONT COMPARE and DESPAIR. That is one of the quickest ways to kill your personal story on why you matter. Many people can easily jump on social media and see friends, family, colleagues and quickly feel a lack of connection or value on some level. When you start comparing, it is that much easier to feel inadequate in the areas where you really matter. Your self-esteem gets a check and you can quickly spiral into despair. You cannot compare your value to those around you. You are your own version—you live your own value in all you do.

I hope this article helps you find ways to help those around you FEEL like they matter.

We are all in this together, so be mindful of how you make others feel. Others around you know they matter because of YOU and how you treat them.

Peace. Love and Light to you. xoxo. -H

Sharing KISSES

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This is the PERFECT video to share for RAK week…I think random acts of kindness need to be shared every day, so watch this video, buy some Hershey’s kisses and share them with strangers, friends, neighbors, roommates, people who look like they need a little love…care…and SHARE.

I also thought this would be a great place to put the wonderful story of the Hershey Kiss creator, Milton S. Hershey. His story is one of hope, inspiration, perseverance and the difference one person can really make. enJOY his story.

MILTON S. HERSHEY

In addition to leaving us with America’s most iconic chocolate bar, Milton S. Hershey left behind a legacy of goodness. It’s a story of persistence, spirit, compassion, selflessness and purpose. 

Milton Hershey made his mark as a successful confectioner, philanthropist and innovator. But Milton was by no means an overnight success story, nor did his achievements come without their hardships. 

Born September 13, 1857 on a farm near Derry Church, a small Pennsylvania community, Milton Hershey was the only surviving child of Fannie and Henry Hershey. Frequent family moves interrupted his schooling and left him with a limited education. He only completed the fourth grade.

Following a four-year apprenticeship with a Lancaster candy maker, he established his first candy making business in Philadelphia. That initial effort failed as did his next two attempts in Chicago and New York. Returning to Lancaster, PA in 1883, Hershey established the Lancaster Caramel Company, which quickly became an outstanding success. It was that business which established him as a candy maker and set the stage for future accomplishments. Mr. Hershey, a man with steadfast convictions and an insatiable curiosity, turned his story from rags to riches by persevering, eventually selling his caramel company for $1 million to devote all his energies to making chocolate.

Learning About Chocolate Hershey became fascinated with German chocolate-making machinery exhibited at the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition. He bought the equipment for his Lancaster plant and soon began producing a variety of chocolate creations. Hershey sold the Lancaster Caramel Co. for $1 million in 1900 in order to concentrate exclusively on his chocolate business. Three years later, he returned to Derry Church to build a new factory. There he could obtain the large supplies of fresh milk needed to perfect and produce fine milk chocolate.

Excited by the potential of milk chocolate, which at that time was a Swiss luxury product, Milton Hershey determined to develop a formula for milk chocolate and market and sell it to the American public. Through trial and error he created his own formula for milk chocolate. In 1903 he began construction on what was to become the world’s largest chocolate manufacturing plant. The facility, completed in 1905, was designed to manufacture chocolate using the latest mass production techniques. Hershey’s milk chocolate quickly became the first nationally marketed product of its kind.

Using equipment purchased at the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition, Milton Hershey began experimenting with boiled milk, sugar and cacao beans in an effort to create affordable milk chocolate that could be mass-produced. In a few years, he perfected his recipe and by 1903 was breaking ground for a new factory in the town that bears his name.

Unlike other industrialists of his time, Milton Hershey’s vision of a company town expanded beyond the brick-and-mortar walls of his chocolate factory. He built homes, parks, schools, public transportation and infrastructure, enriching the lives of those around him. His wealth was accompanied by a profound sense of moral responsibility and benevolence.

When he and his beloved wife, Catherine, realized they could not have children, they founded a school for orphaned boys. His dream had grown far beyond acquiring wealth for his own benefit: “One is only happy in proportion as he makes others feel happy.” In 1918, long before his death, Milton Hershey endowed the school that he and Catherine started with his entire fortune.

-taken from hersheypa.com

Video of his life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp4z8o1ioJA

Hope these videos and stories brighten your day. Now, go out and buy some chocolate and SHARE SOME KISSES. xoxo

New Year. New Obsessions. New TREASURES

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haha.

According to many—New Years marks a day in which we begin some sort of New Obsession—we change our eating habits, we begin running, we start journaling, we promise to meditate, we start penciling in more…seeing a therapist, doing a cleanse, organizing a room, making kids start new rules and regulations…starting ‘a new’ with some sort of new habit…some type of re-wire…some sort of obsession, right!?! Well, to each their own. haha.

I am choosing TREASURE. YOU DECIDE.
YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT THIS YEAR.

The very word, “TREASURE” has a great connotation to it…by definition, “a quantity of precious metals, gems, or other valuable objects.” We often associate it with a treasure hunt, finding buried treasure, seeking some sort of treasure, whether it is a personal journey to find our own pleasures, pursuits, direction, values, etc. There is a treasure within to find. OR there is also, the “things or objects” treasure in which you seek things outside of yourself. BOTH will bring enJOYment on some level, but you need to find out what will bring the real FULFILLMENT. I just had a great visual…a metaphor, if you will. Bare with me for a minute. IMAGINE…An empty treasure chest that needs to be FULL and FILLED…but with what?? Look at it like your life. Ask yourself—What do you want to fill it with? What will make it FEEL FULL and truly rewarding? Life is FULL of treasures of various shapes, sizes, values, decisions, lessons learned, relationships made. It is the small jewels and gems of a life well lived that will make you truly RICH.

When you are young the world tells you that once you get this or that, make more money or have two houses or this job or $$ per year….you will finally be happy. But as you grow wiser you begin to see it is the experiences, the memories made, the moments collected that truly create a wealth of immeasurable riches.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will

find your treasure.” -Paulo Coelho

What will you select of put inside as your treasure? Will it be gold coins to be saved up for a day to finally spend them? Will it be collectibles that increase in value? Will it be a trip of a lifetime that will hold priceless memories, Will it be precious time and memorable moments with your family, or will it be education and experiences that you can learn and share throughout your lifetime?

I think you can do a little bit of everything as long as you find a happy balance for your life. The riches can allow you to dream a little bigger and find those places to wander. Maybe it is fun for you to literally treasure hunt. I know for me, I love a goodwill treasure hunt to see if I can spot a unique piece of antique jewelry or a valuable bowl of pottery. Or maybe, you want to utilize some of your riches to take a photography class that will be an investment in yourself. If you can take the time to learn, dream a little bigger, educate yourself to further your future, and then place it all in the treasure chest of your choosing….a balanced life can have many variables and special pieces held inside.

“There’s a treasure hidden in every moment.

The JOY of life is finding it”. -Katrina Mayer

Life can be a bit daunting and you may struggle to know what you truly want for your life. (What you want in your treasure chest) You may need to play, experiment with things that bring you joy, invite friends to share their experiences of finding treasures and priceless gifts in their life. It is a process to find what brings meaning, it takes time to educate yourself on the necessary experiences to find your true treasures. You may have to stop, look around, evaluate where you are, what you have, what you need and do a little more digging on some level. It is YOUR life…YOUR treasure. YOU need to figure out where the value really lies. What the treasures really are to YOU. Everyone is different. One person may fill their chest up with a collection of Air Jordan shoes waiting for a pay day, while someone else may leave it empty until they can fill it with albums of photos or souvenirs from trips around the world. Maybe you fill it with books because you find such value in the words and lessons expressed by others. What is priceless to one, may be a different value to another. We are each uniquely made and that is why it is very important to take the time to figure out what YOU need on varying levels of your life.

“Your life is a treasure and you are so much

more than you know.” -Richard Bach

Life is a precious gift. Treasure it.

LIFE IS A TREASURE. Take the time to seek and find the right keys that unlock the authentic treasures you need for your best life. What makes a great life to one may be something completely different for another. Seek and find what YOU need. You have this ONE, unique, powerful, exhilarating, challenging, soul seeking, beautiful life that is truly so short. Don’t waste it…treasure it!

After losing my younger brother tragically this year, I hope I can make more promises to myself to seek greater experiences, to risk the mundane & shake things up, to get out of being comfortable and push myself to be even better than before. The richest treasures are in our LIFE…the little details that bring us the biggest JOYS, the people we love and get to enJOY, the places that are extraordinary that we get to experience, the gifts of learning and growth, the opportunity to LOVE more than we did yesterday, to pray more, to seek beyond what we know, to live the challenges we can push beyond, the highs and lows, the stuff that makes us FEEL EVERYTHING.
LIFE IS IN SESSION. I love that!! I strive to continue to LIVE IT!! TREASURE IT!! to my best ability.

What will be your greatest treasures

you find this New year?

Peace. Love and Light to you this New Year. May you seek and find what YOU need. xoxo. -H

–photos found on pexels