Lessons learned from the movie Same Kind of Different as Me

Same-Kind-of-Different-as-Me-New-Poster

For starters, my little family was in tears. This movie will tug at the very depth of your emotions. It is a true story about very different people, the struggles that bring them together, the challenges that life can offer and the story of one incredible woman that brings it full circle. It has many beautiful and also heart wrenching moments. Even though there are some sad themes, you will finish watching with a full heart.

I am not going to give you too much of the storyline because I do not want to ruin it for you, but it was worth the emotional ride.

 

screen-shot-2016-08-17-at-9-50-10-amLEARN FROM CHALLENGE: Sometimes you learn how strong you are through the struggles you go through. Deb wanted to find a way to connect on a deeper level with her husband, so she took him to a soup kitchen. Oh, the lessons they learned together.

 

screen-shot-2017-10-23-at-10-35-28-amHAVE A HEART OF GOODNESS: Deborah had a way of looking beyond the exterior and finding the heart of goodness in anyone.  She brought out the good in people. She gave them a chance. She had a dream about a man…I had another dream.  It was about a poor wise man who changes the city.  …Can’t you just see it?!  Flower boxes…  A place where people know they matter just as much as people on the other side of that tunnel?!

IF we could all take that into our own life, the world would be a better place. If we could even just start with a smile to a stranger or think outside of ourselves for one day–that would be a good start. Maybe you could make cookies for a neighbor, hand out water bottles to homeless people on a corner, leave a nice comment for a cashier who checked you out at the grocery store. Begin small. One tiny act begins and then swells into more.

 

636373584980760478-SKGregBE TRUE TO THOSE AROUND YOU: I fell in love with the love and respect these two men shared. They were strangers, grew closer together through challenge & found a lasting friendship. Before I answer your question about being friends, something I wanna ask you.  Something about white people always bother me.  When white people go fishing, they do catch and release…  See where I growed up… when we finally caught something on the line, we’s real proud of what we got.  [We sure didn’t release it.]  …  If you is a white man that is fishing for a friend and you just wanna catch and release, then I got no desire to be your friend. -Denver

When you give a plate of food or $1 to a homeless man, what do you think you’re doing?  Helping?!  No.  A plate of food don’t change nothing.  You’re tell him you seehim.  He’s not invisible. -Denver

 

samekinddifferent12100WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING GOOD INSIDE US. No matter what, Bless him.  Your daddy got a good man inside of him. Sometimes you just gotta bless the hell out of people.  Your daddy had a lot of hell in him. -Denver

This is a genuine lesson on remembering that no matter what people go through, what addictions they pick up along the journey, what stories they tell themselves or those they love…no matter what has happened, we have to remember that there truly is a good person in there somewhere. They have just forgotten, have become numb, have lost that part of themselves & need to rebuild to find it.

 

Same-kind-620x400-1024x661WE ARE ALL THE SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT: She was different.  She saw me behind them bars and reached down and pulled me out with the key God gave her.

I used to spend a lot of time worrying I was different from other people.  Even homeless people.  …  But what I found out, we’re all different.  Same kind of different as me.

Miss Debbie, she a whole nother kind of different.  Miss Debbie dreamed of a better place for us homeless folks.  And I’m not talking about heaven.  I’m talking about right here.

Whether we’s rich or whether we’s poor, we’s all homeless, every last one of us.  Just working our way back home. -Denver

I LOVE this last thought. WE are ALL HOMELESS, just working our way back home. If you think about that, there is so much truth in that statement. We are all just working our way back, learning life lessons, learning about our human selves, trying to work together, finding and appreciating the spiritual sides of our existence, etc. We are all in a state of progression, trying to find our way on the path of life, on the journey back to our spiritual home.

 

same-kind-of-different-as-meEVERYTHING HOLDS A TREASURE, A GIFT TO SOMEONE: God’s in the recycling business, of turning trash into treasure. -Ron

I think life holds so many moments to find the hidden gems of lessons that need to be learned. Sometimes we become jaded to the homeless guy on the corner or begin to not care about the needs of others, sadly. Life is a path & the books we choose to read, the movies we watch, the conversations we have, the stories we hear about, the people we come across along the way…all become a part of our bigger story. We take little nuggets of wisdom, lessons learned, feelings felt & we thread them into the story of our own life.

I can vividly remember moments with complete strangers, conversations with homeless people, stories shared with me by cashiers I just met…I believe everything comes into our life or happens for a reason. It may simply be the need for connection, but what we take from it– that becomes our life treasures, the little gems that stay with us for our own journey.

 

12 10 _176.NEFI believe this movie was a genuine gift to my little family. It touched every single one of us on various levels. My daughter never cries during movies and rarely cries about anything, but was genuinely touched and became so emotional. It was a beautiful gift to see her emotion. My husband seemed to have a new outlook on possibly trying to find some avenue to help people in some way. I felt so much gratitude to be a family. It was a lovely gift to all of us.

I guarantee you will probably cry, maybe feel some sadness, will experience lows and highs, but you will also be moved by the beautiful message behind the true story.

 

Enjoy. Peace, love and kindness to you today.  -H

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Life Passage

Easter Sunday to be exact we put my fifteen year old daughter behind the wheel of our Durango and her Dad gave her the first driving lesson of many. I videoed it & my daughter’s expressions were priceless. She was NOT having a good time.

After the lesson we drove over to harts gas station and my husband ran inside to buy celebratory treats. I looked at my daughter in the back seat and she became a little emotional. I asked her what she was feeling & it was so genuinely sweet. She said, “I didn’t like driving because it makes me feel like I am getting older. I don’t want to be a teenager.”  I told her that she would never be a typical teen because that is not who she is. I explained how driving is just a right of passage in a way. I explained how you have to grow in life. You have to do things that help you fly, that help you learn. I talked about how the butterfly has to go through hard things, to struggle, to break free from its ‘chrysalis’ to be able to fly. We talked about how it is not a bad thing to learn and grow. I reiterrated that she would never be a typical teen. It was a very sweet conversation.

Life is like that! You go from one growth challenge to another to another. Life should be a passage, a passage to better things that help us grow to become better people.

I LOVE that idea–a passage. The definition of ‘rites of passage’ points that mark transitional periods in a person’s life, such as birth, puberty, marriage, having children, and death. Rites of passage usually involve ritual activities and teachings designed to strip individuals of their original roles and prepare them for new roles. -dictionary.com

We all go through life changes and challenges. We go through tough things that make us feel uncomfortable, that challenge our current belief systems. Without those challenges how would we truly grow??

My only issue is that life is FULL of change and rites of passage, but I am going to go with LIFE ‘PASSAGE’ (instead of rites of passage) which is the action or process of passing from one place, condition or stage to another. I think this is more accurate in terms of life. The whole life. We don’t just have children and stop growing until we die. There is a huge portion of life within that realm. I think as adults we do more growing as we parent, as we age, as we continue to find our place as adults.

My question—as adults how can we find those specific ‘life passages’ that we personally need to challenge us to growth? We can easily become stagnate as adults, so how do we continually grow?? Here are my thoughts, research and findings….

life-begins-at-the-end-of-your-comfort-zone-quoteBREAK OUT OF YOUR ORDINARY MOLD: Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Psychologist and author of “Better Than Perfect, says people who regularly seek out fresh experiences tend to be more creative and emotionally resilient than those who remain stuck in routine.

“Breaking your own mold can only make you stronger and more confident to reach higher levels in your professional and personal life,” she says.  

How to break out of the ordinary–Do everyday things differently–(unplug on a specific day or time. Brush your teeth standing on one leg. Try a new recipe. etc) Pick a big goal–(to write a book. to run a marathon. to climb a mountain. to read five books in a month. to start a business. etc) Do something physically challenging–(take a trapeze class. go ice skating. take a rock climbing class. certify as a yoga instructor. train for something. etc)

Benefits of breaking out–Optimal anxiety is that place where your mental productivity and performance reach their peak. Still, “increased performance” and “enhanced productivity” just sound like “do more stuff.” What do you really get when you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone? You’ll be more productive. You’ll have an easier time dealing with new and unexpected changes. You’ll find it easier to push your boundaries in the future. You’ll find it easier to brainstorm and harness your creativity. -lifehacker

 

1823516-Ginni-Rometty-Quote-I-learned-to-always-take-on-things-I-d-neverEMBRACE DISCOMFORT: That is how you truly grow. It is a catalyst for progress! “The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself.” -Mary Bean

This is an interesting idea: In an interview with Outside, Karnazes makes an important point that many of us have forgotten:

Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think that if we had every comfort available to us, we’d be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we’re so comfortable we’re miserable. There’s no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. We get in a car, we get in an elevator, it all comes easy. What I’ve found is that I’m never more alive than when I’m pushing and I’m in pain, and I’m struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there’s a magic.

That is a very interesting take from a serious Ultramarathon runner. BUT, we can look at this and equate it to our own lives. We strive to be comfortable, but I bet if any one person looked at their life to pinpoint their greatest times of personal growth, it would be in times of challenge and pain. We don’t grow in comfort. We are just comfortable. We may need to set some challenging or daunting personal goals.

 

1249822-Joe-Vitale-Quote-A-goal-should-scare-you-a-little-and-excite-you-aSET A BIG GOAL: “Don’t shrink from discomfort. Instead, let it guide you toward accomplishment.”  -Michael Hyatt

Goals make you ask a big question, “WHY?” If you can answer why you are doing something then you will see the vision behind your goal and the reason you feel compelled to move forward. Then you can ask, “How?” & begin on that part of the solution. Goals have a way of getting you in the right frame of mind to go beyond your current state.

“If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things–you don’t have enough goals.”  -Lou Holtz

Here are some great resources on creating goals: These should give you a good starting point for ideas. Make your own life list, 100 goals in 100 days, 100 goals in 10 years, it is your life–you make the plan!!

Jack Canfield has “101 Lifetime Goals” http://jackcanfield.com/blog/my-101-lifetime-goals-list-and-why-you-should-have-one-too/

Most important goals according to these ranks https://www.ranker.com/list/most-important-life-goals-list/samantha-dillinger

Another guy’s list of 100 Life Goals https://fullylived.com/100-life-goals-list/

There are MANY ideas from a variety of bloggers—google some ideas, take ideas you like and make your own list to help you live the life you want!

 

2570853-Sugata-Mitra-Quote-Ask-BIG-questions-find-BIG-answers.jpgTAKE SOME TIME TO ASK SOME BIG QUESTIONS: Take a weekend getaway or a day while you are on vacation. Maybe you take just a day alone to sit with yourself and ask some life questions. Use the time to get a renewed perspective of where you are and where you want to be. Ask yourself, “What inspires me?” “What have I learned from past mistakes or failures–what life lessons have I learned” “What do I value?” “Am I truly grateful?” “What are three things I need to look closer at in my life & work on?” “What am I the most afraid of?” “If I had a magic wand, what would I wish for? (no limitations)”  “What do I need in my life to grow?” “How strong is my self-worth & do I truly care about my needs?” “Is there something I enjoy doing that I don’t take enough time to do it more often?” “When do I feel most vulnerable?” “What am I the most proud of in my life?” “What am I focusing the majority of my time on in my life?” “Do I feel passion?” “What do I need at this moment in my life?”

 

72066-Chuck-Palahniuk-Quote-This-is-the-biggest-mistake-I-could-thinkSHAKE IT UP! Your environment, the foods you eat, the same people you surround yourself with, your daily routines, all add to states of comfort and stagnation. Take some time to shake things up–look on Groupon or a local activity sites to see if there is something fun to do to shake up your routine. Try something new each week (a new meal, a new work outfit, surprise someone with a lunch picnic during your work break, find a new way to work, learn a new recipe, listen to a different style of music (Alexa has all kinds of play lists), a new workout, join a club that you are interested in, etc.

 

Quotes About Improving Your Life Robin S. Sharma Quote “Investing In Yourself Is The BestINVEST IN YOU! Are you doing something/anything for you? Take a class, learn a new skill or talent. Is there something you have always wanted to do or try?? Is there a book you have been wanting to read, but have not made the time. Is there an exercise class you have wanted to try? Is there something you can do/learn to boost your confidence? Is there a craft class you have been wondering about? Have you always wanted a monthly massage? Is there a workshop or seminar you have been interested in?Are you following & listening to your heart? Are you taking care of your health? Are you choosing things that make you feel happy?

Why is investing in yourself so powerful? Investing in yourself, sends a powerful message to yourself and the world. The message is:The value and potential that I possess, is important enough to me that I’m going to give it the energy, space and time to grow and create results.  -huffington post

When you are taking time to do something for yourself, everyone around you benefits. You feel more alive, awakened, challenged, rejuvenated…investing in you is a win. win.

 

738837-William-Shatner-Quote-I-am-curious-about-many-things-and-find-the.jpgFIND AWE: The feelings you get from standing in a grove of trees, looking up into a starry night sky, having a space or feeling that seems to transdend. This is one strong human emotion. Many studies showed that people who frequently experience awe tend to have lower levels of a substance that’s been linked to stress and poor health. As part of a recent two-part study at the University of California, Berkeley, students filled out a questionnaire describing their feelings over the past month and submitted samples of their saliva to test for a substance linked with stress in the body. The students who said they’d recently experienced feelings of awe were more likely than students who hadn’t to have lower levels of the stress-linked substance (called interleukin-6) in their spit. In fact, the more often a student said they’d experienced awe in the past month, the lower his or her levels of the substance tended to be (More on the details of the study and its findings here). -businessinsider article

Awe-inspiring moments take us to a deeper place and help us realize that we are part of something so much bigger than ourselves. How to look for daily experiences of awe: being moved by music, looking at the light of the world & seeing the shadows, repetitive patterns in nature, finding the sacred in quiet moments, noticing the colors changing, seeing someone have a giving heart.

Here is a great article that talks more in-depth about the emotion of awe.  https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awe

 

Well, I hope this is a good start for your personal Life Passage. Life should be cherished.

-Peace and Love to you today.  -H

The Power of Music

Music has a feeling, a rhythm, a quality that takes us to varying degrees of consciousness. It has always fascinated me how a specific song can take you directly into a memory. I have songs that take me back to specific boyfriends or memories of my youth. My younger brother has always had a fascination, almost an obsession with music. He is the individual that has his record player, his albums, collects speakers, and in some sense almost lives in the past with his songs that take him back to ‘seemingly’ better times in his life.

I think we are all at some degree influenced by what pulses rhythmically around us. Music has been scientifically proven to be able to help depression. Other studies have shown that music helps reduce pain and anxiety, it relieves stress, helps with memory, physical ailments, improves mood, improves sleep quality, improves immune function, improves learning…

DEPRESSION: A 2011 study by researchers from McGill University in Canada found that listening to music increases the amount of dopamine produced in the brain – a mood-enhancing chemical, making it a feasible treatment for depression.

STRESS: Just like listening to slow music to calm the body, music can also have a relaxing effect on the mind. Researchers at Stanford University found that listening to music seems to be able to change brain functioning to the same extent as medication. Since music is so widely available and inexpensive, it’s an easy stress reduction option. -science of people article

BRAIN: Scientific studies – ranging from investigations of the brain at a cellular level, to psychiatric assessments of schizophrenics, to linguistic scores in stroke patients – are all leading to the same conclusion: music isn’t just a form of entertainment, it is evolutionarily significant. And the more we learn about the impact of music on the brain, the more we understand how it can be employed as a therapeutic intervention. -sciencefocus

“One of the things that makes music so interesting is that it’s pleasant but at the same time cognitively demanding,” says Särkämö. “This is one of the few therapeutic interventions we have that is both soothing as well as challenging.” -sciencefocus

HEALTH: Another study from Massachusetts General Hospital found that listening to Mozart’s piano sonatas helped relax critically ill patients by lowering stress hormone levels, but the music also decreased blood levels of interleukin-6—a protein that has been implicated in higher mortality rates, diabetes, and heart problems. -greatergood article

LEARNING: Music enjoyment elicits dopamine release, and dopamine release has been tied to motivation, which in turn is implicated in learning and memory. In a study published last year, adult students studying Hungarian were asked to speak, or speak in a rhythmic fashion, or sing phrases in the unfamiliar language. Afterwards, when asked to recall the foreign phrases, the singing group fared significantly better than the other two groups in recall accuracy. -greatergood

EXERCISE: Researchers in the United Kingdom recruitedthirty participants to listen to motivational synchronized music, non-motivational synchronized music, or no music while they walked on a treadmill until they reached exhaustion levels. Measurements showed that both music conditions increased the length of time participants worked out (though motivational music increased it significantly more) when compared to controls. The participants who listened to motivational music also said they felt better during their work out than those in the other two conditions. -greatergood

Music literally accesses every part of your brain. It is so good for you. It lights you up, it calms, it stirs action, movement, eases pain, heals illness, it truly is a miracle drug on many levels. We need to take high, daily doses of this good stuff. Listen to the music that seems to stirs your soul, that inspires, that seems to take you to levels of good health and happiness.

Here are a few ‘feel good’ songs from my music list:

To CALM

 

To FEEL PEACE

 

To FEEL HAPPY

Some of my other favorites (that I usually ask Alexa to play) include: Lights and Motion or Hammock to calm or play while working on projects. I do however smile and dance every time I play “Work this Body” by Walk the Moon. It is just FUN!

Hope you feel even better today.

Peace and Love to you.  -H