Mindset or MIND SET

“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”  -Joshua Marine

My daughter decided earlier this year to become a student body rep for her online academy. Part of their duties is to plan and attend Prom. Prom is this week and my daughter has been struggling to go. She has been dragging her feet to find a dress, to go. Her MINDSET has been a stubborn MIND SET on NOT going.

Whenever I bring up the dance and what we need to do to help with activities, she immediately talks about how “dumb” it all is, how she just wants to set up and leave, wear jeans and not worry about the rest. She hates the thought of “dances” and when I ask her why she is scared, she gets so irritated and defensive about how she is “not afraid and thinks its just dumb.”

I think we can all fall into slumps and mindsets that stop our growth and progress. Sometimes we get too comfortable doing our usual, daily routine. We become stagnant in pushing ourselves to grow, to try something that will challenge ourselves to learn something new, or commit to doing things that will help us get healthier or better overall.

My mom–Since my mom had brain surgery she has been a different person, but her mind has definitely been set on certain things. Her doctors gave her strict orders to get out of bed, walk around, move, get her brain working. Before her surgery my mom never really enjoyed walking anyway, but now her mind is set to a whole new level. My Dad pushes her to get up and walk, but she fights him, gives him mean faces and digs her heals in. If she gets up, she may walk outside and call it good. Its hard.

What things do you SET your MIND on?? What kind of MINDSET do you utilize in your life? Do you have a grateful mindset for your life or do you find you have a MIND SET on frustration, lack or fear. Do you want to focus on being healthy or get stuck with a mind set on the struggle of it.

I told my daughter, “Life is what you make it!! Your experiences will be your choice. Its what you let your mind get set on. That truly is the bottom line. You can go and make a dance a night directed by fun or fear. It is your choice.”

One of her favorite quotes is “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I told her, “You can even do that at a prom.”

LOOK AT EVERYTHING AS A CHANCE TO GROW!

That is like life—-what mindset will you focus on…FUN or FEAR…LOVE or LACK…HEALTH or HELL…everything you do is a choice.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Wayne Dyer

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A little Star of Hope & Light

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“Hope itself is like a star—not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only discovered in the night of adversity.”  -Charles Spurgeon

 

My sweet mom had brain surgery about a month ago and it has been a genuine trial for her in various ways. She seems to sleep all the time, her medications make her loopy and unclear, she is frustrated at her rate of recovery, she feels like a weight to my Dad….every day is different & despite her usual cheery disposition and love for life, she has seen dark moments and struggled to find light. It has been hard to see my mom who is always a bright personality & known as “Sunny” be taken to muddy waters and unable to see the surface very clearly.

I usually call my Mom every morning to see how she is feeling & yesterday she shared the following story—She has a very young neighbor that has four or five kids and is suffering from an immune illness called Potts disease. Just last month she spent weeks at the Mayo clinic in Arizona, getting nourishment from feeding tubes. All the while, her small family was in Utah being taken care of by family members. From the stories I have heard it has been one struggle after another trying to get her out of bed.

This sweet woman came over to see my mom & they got talking about my Mom’s doctor. The woman replied, “Don’t you love your doctor. He is such a good man.” My mom was taken back that this woman knew him & the woman began to explain to my mom that at one point her brain stem had began to grow into her spinal column, so she had to have brain surgery to have them disconnected. The woman smiled & expressed to my Mom that she had an idea of what my mom was going through & then pulled out a stained glass star and gifted it to my mom. The woman looked at my mom & said, “I usually buy one of these every time I go through hard things & you have earned this one.” The woman explained that she hangs them in her window to remind her of hope and to see the light in the dark moments of life.

My mom was a little emotional as she shared this story with me & it helped my mom see that even though she is in a dark place, others have been there, are going through more and yet they are able to get themselves to a place of hope.

It was a beautiful reminder to my Mom that she can and is dealing with tough things and that she will get through.

I think it is a beautiful lesson and story for all of us. I hope that no matter what you are dealing with today, you can give thanks for the stars in your own life. We all have dark moments, but those help us see the stars in our life that give us light and hope.

“Only in darkness can you see the stars.  -Martin Luther King

-Peace and love to you today.  H

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Direction

3roadsDefinition of Direction: a course along which someone or something moves.
the management or guidance of someone or something.
I seem to constantly be seeking guidance and direction for our life. Whether it is uncertainty with my husband’s job, wondering if we should move, seeking purpose, struggling with challenges…we are always seeking guidance and direction in one way or another.
In this post I am going to seek further direction to help guide the best outcome for our lives. We are all shifting, changing direction in various ways, so it seems important to seek the right direction along the journey.
crystal-ball-14785249855CZNo matter what—we don’t have a ‘crystal ball’ that will tell us the future. Sometimes you need to step with faith in a direction you hope and pray will be the best for your family. You cannot foresee what will happen next year, five years or next month for that matter. We must ask ourselves, What is important at this moment in our lives.
This was an important lesson that truly sunk in when we just had a dear family friend find out the father of the family had maybe a year to live. When I spoke with his wife she mentioned that she had just told him he needed to take the kids and get outside, go camping, and make memories with them. Shortly after that conversation he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had a year to live.
That was heartbreaking to me. No one is guaranteed so much time. We just have today, this moment. What is important to you right now?
1_54Take action of some kind–Our neighborhood housing market has spiked and some of the houses have gone for ridiculously high prices, which made my husband and I wonder if we should put our house on the market and pay off some debt and hopefully set ourselves up for a more stable future. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. One day I am in tears because I don’t want to leave the beautiful trees that surround our home or another day our daughter is in tears in fear of leaving. My poor husband sees us in tears and immediately tells us, “We don’t have to move.”  It is so sweet to see his reaction. He just wants us happy, but I don’t want the financial burden to be so heavy on him, so deep down I know it would be best for us to put it on the market.
No matter what we do, we have been taking action—painting, putting in new counter tops, cleaning, organizing…each day we are doing little by little in a forward direction. No matter what challenge, crisis, struggle, stagnet direction you are stuck in, when you begin to take any type of action, you will move forward. Little by little bettering your circumstance in one way or another.
4e6808254a0e66eb6e1cd29063731db5Seek inspiration—sometimes that only comes through a change of some kind.
Look to others: You can find blog posts, youtube videos, inspiring articles, etc. of people that are challenging themselves, seeking inspiration, finding ways to live higher, etc. Look at art, articles, books…anything that seems to inspire your heart and light you up in some way. Find the inspiration that catches your attention & follow it to find out something you desire or need.
Find the space you need: Going outside in nature can spark inspiration and calm your mind to find a space that you need. Water is also a good place to hold inspirational space. I seem to always get ideas in the shower. Just get quiet. Quiet invites inspiration.
Be spontaneous: When you step outside of your ordinary and spontaneously do something, you have new eyes and experiences. You see things from a newer perspective and inspiration comes freely.
Get creative: I recently just wanted to create art, so I bought some paints, stencils and just played. I felt my inner child come out and play. I found the inspiration I needed in playing with paint. It opens your eyes to other possibilities.
Seek within to what you are drawn to or need: Does a book title jump out at you or someone sends you a link to a podcast they think you would like. Be open to inspiration and find those things you may need on a deeper level.
417817-Oprah-Winfrey-Quote-Follow-your-feelings-If-it-feels-right-moveFollow your feelings–How you FEEL is a huge indicator of the direction you need to go or the actions you need to take. My husband recently was dealing with a very serious issue with his boss. His boss was a horrible leader and treated people with a lack of respect and belittled and bullied. He was all about the power and fear. Everyone was afraid of him and to say anything to someone higher up. My husband was even afraid to say something for fear that he would get a target on his back. I felt and expressed to him, “If no one says anything, nothing will change.” For awhile my husband was okay with not saying anything, but then began to FEEL that he needed to say something because it was so bad & it was affecting so many good people. He knew he needed to be the voice for many, even if it put his job on the line. He spoke to a few of the right people and ultimately his boss was fired. My husband took a huge risk, but he felt like he needed to for the good of his people and the company as a whole. It was a huge lesson to many that you must follow your feelings, have a voice and be heard.
My personal lesson in this–My husband has only been in his current role for almost six months. I have struggled time and time again that he left his old position because of a health risk I was having. I felt a lot of guilt having him leave a position he loved. When this whole situation went down, I had a very strong FEELING that if my husband was not at this current company nothing would have changed because no one was strong enough to be the voice that needed to be heard. His boss (the bully) would have continued to strike fear into everyone and so many would have just suffered through. It was a confirmation that we were ultimately right where we needed to be.
4608218-John-Feldmann-Quote-Life-will-always-change-and-I-m-alwaysIs there really any “Right” direction?–you will never know for sure in any decision if it is ultimately the “right” decision that leads to the right direction. But, remember nothing is perfect or permanent. Life is ever changing.
mark-twain-quote-positiveGo within and ask tough questions–With any direction you want to ask yourself questions for personal guidance. Whether you pray, take a walk and check in with yourself or journal to understand your feelings, take the time to go within and understand yourself and your needs.
Good questions to ask: “How do you feel?” “What are you not doing enough of & need in your life?” “What gives your life meaning?” “What lights you up & energizes you?”
“What drains your energy or makes you feel weighed down?”
d4fa4e0e-63fa-400e-8411-cfa050df0dfa-originalPursue growth—in any direction you take if you are seeking growth then you will find those things that challenge and push you to grow. Change is the key in anything you do. You don’t want to take a job if it does not challenge you in some way or helps you improve a skill or step into an improved situation. You want to be in relationships that help you stretch and do things that make you a better, happier and more fulfilled person. You want to improve in one way or another in everything you do. When you have a higher purpose in your directions, than ultimately your life will lead you to higher personal paths of growth.
I only hope these ideas inspire you to seek the guidance and direction you are in need of for your life. We are all experiencing our own journey.
-Peace and love on your path. xoxo

Mind & Body Connection

subconscious-mind-power-universe-girlMy mom just had brain surgery this week & it has been incredible to see how a person can go into surgery, have your head cut open, have a golf ball sized drill cut into your head & a doctor mess with nerves & then sew it up & staple it back together with 22 stitches and then send you home within two days. I was blown away!!

I was in awe that after all that my Mom could talk, use her facial nerves and even smile. It was amazing, scary, terrifying and a true miracle. How else do you explain it?

My Mom had been battling trigeminal neuralgia for over a year. For you out there that have never heard of this debilitating diagnosis, it is an illness that literally feels like your face is being electrocuted and your teeth on fire. Doctors have all stated it is the worse pain you could experience and most people that have the illness just want to die.

It has been hard to watch her in such pain over such a long period of time, so to even think brain surgery was the best alternative was extremely scary. I was incredibly anxious if there would be any type of slight complication or a slip of any kind, what could happen. This is your nerves, your brain, that the doctor was playing with.

It is a very humbling idea of such a procedure and how serious it was. I was afraid for her. The night before she went in I hugged her & quietly prayed to myself that I would hear her speak again or even smile.

We take so many things for granted, but when someone you loves faces such a scary situation, you reflect. You hope. You pray. You have to have faith that she will come out of it for the better.

My mom is a genuinely very happy personality, so seeing her come out of surgery in such pain was hard. Despite the hope, you begin to see the mind begin to question, to get discouraged, to dwindle in hope and optimism.  It is hard to hear my mom wonder if she made the right decision. It is hard to see her still in so much pain, but now additional pain. It is hard to see her struggle emotionally & get down.

THE MIND AND BODY CONNECTION: The mind and body has such a huge connection. It fascinates me, so I thought I would expand on that, while trying to come up with some good solutions to help my Mom get through this experience.

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NEGATIVITY WEAKENS: It is interesting how we continually hear how impactful negative beliefs truly affect our life.

Your body, and its trillions of cells, hears everything your brain says. This is both concerning and empowering. Science shows us that negative and worrisome beliefs predispose your body to illness; positive and hopeful beliefs are healing and curative. Medical research on beliefs shows us that your beliefs can be self-fulfilling prophecies. One study showed that 79 percent of medical students report developing symptoms suggestive of the illnesses they are studying because of the intense focus upon the illness. Findings published in the Indian Journal of Psychiatry found that our beliefs and our thoughts are neurotransmitters. What this means is that our beliefs create chemical messengers in our brain that communicate information throughout our brain and our body, affecting every aspect of our functioning, including our blood pressure, our immune responses, our sleep, and our digestion. Yes. Take that in. Your body hears everything your brain says.  -wanderlust

You wouldn’t take a pill from a bottle with a skull and crossbones on it, but every time you think negative thoughts about your health, you’re potentially poisoning your body with stress hormones that deactivate your body’s natural self-repair mechanisms. You are the gatekeeper of your mind, and it’s your responsibility to protect what you think. -mindbodygreen

BELIEF: Expect better results by BELIEVING in a better outcome.

Countless studies show the placebo effect influences the effectiveness of treatment. If someone tells you a pill will cure your headache, you’re likely to find the treatment helpful–even if the pill was a sugar pill.

Whether you’re trying physical therapy for a bad knee, or you’re seeing a chiropractor for pain in your back, your belief that those treatments will work may be more effective than the treatment themselves. So before you undergo any kind of treatment, think about all the reasons the treatment is likely to help.  -Inc.

OPTIMISM BOOSTS IMMUNITY: recent studies have shown that a hopeful outlook is actually what influences immunity. Looking on the bright side makes you less likely to get a cold or infection because optimism keeps your immune system performing at its peak. -Inc

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON CAN COME TRUE: “You have the power to heal your life and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we are not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.”  -Louise Hay

Whether you’re a Chinese-American, a medical student, someone like Angelina Jolie, who may have been “medically hexed” with a poor prognosis or a high risk of disease or death, or even if you’re just someone whose subconscious mind is filled with limiting beliefs from your childhood like “I’m the sickly type” or “My family gets cancer,” focusing your attention on illness has been scientifically proven to predispose the body to illness. Excessive knowledge about what can go wrong with the body can actually harm you. The more you focus on the infinite ways in which the body can break down, the more likely you are to experience physical symptoms.

Becca Levy studied how our beliefs about longevity affect how long we live. What did she find? Spoiler alert: Those who lived longest were those who believed they would live the longest. -mindbodygreen

 

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I think in my Mom’s case she would like immediate results and is struggling with not having the immediate satisfaction of having all the pain gone.

I tried to explain to her and reason with her that she just underwent a major trauma to her brain. The body is an amazing miracle made up of millions of tiny nerves, vessels, valves, parts that all work together to breathe, to speak, to smell, to run…she needs to be patient and allow the swelling to go down, to allow the body to rest, to allow and be patient for the body to heal at its own natural pace.

Nature flows and allows, so when you allow frustration you stop the healing flow, everything will begin to become stagnant, the negativity seeps in and weighs down the natural healing state. Nature knows. Nature grows in patience. If you look outside at nature, you cannot demand the sun to come up. You cannot demand a flower to bloom over night. Nature is patient, slow, and flows in the perfect timing.

Just like in healing, when you allow yourself to be patient that is when the healing begins.

 

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I think getting a cold, working through an illness, having surgery, recovering from an addiction…opens a door that would otherwise not be there. It is a point in your life where there is a space for inner reflection, challenges that spring action, moments of struggle that can bring about breaking open a part of you that needed to be opened. Opportunity is found in challenge or change. It is when we take the moments to reflect, to learn, to grow, to lean on a higher awareness that we begin to truly live more meaning. It is opportunity that opens a door to an even better, higher self.

We are all healing in one way or another. It is what we do with the opportunities that will make the overall difference.

Our mind and body has a deep connection. “The body achieves what the mind believes.”

Peace to all. May any journey you take or endure lead you to a better place.

Prayers and blessings to my Mom. Love you. xoxo