
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paul Coelho, The Alchemist
I pulled into a local supermarket and as I parked a young girl in her twenties approached the car next to me. I noticed she was in tears, I rolled down my window and asked her if she was okay, she hysterically responded about her boyfriend and how terrible he was to her.
Just then two elderly people (her grandparents) approached her and tried to calm her down. They were not exactly calm themselves. I patiently watched and noticed a small boy in the back seat. I continued to watch the situation, wondering what I could do. The couple noticed that I was concerned and began to share a few details. I listened and slowly got out of my vehicle to help. Many thoughts ran through my head as I surveyed my vehicle looking for anything that may help the situation.
I looked over at the young girl who continued to cry and I said, “You are beautiful, things will work out. Everything happens for a reason.” She graciously said thank you. The grandmother jumped in, “That is her problem, she is too pretty.” My heart sank and a deeper understanding filled me. I shuffled through my purse looking for a business card and handed it to the young girl and told her to call me anytime for anything. The older woman looked at me and said, “Are you important or something?” I was taken back, “No, I just like to help people. So please call me if you need a ride, help with your little boy, anything.”
I could tell the situation was calming down, so I left it at that. They were all very gracious.
When I walked away I thought about the comment, “Are you important or something.” The small gesture of giving someone a business card seemed to be a symbol of self-worth in this woman’s mind. I tried to put myself in the perspective of someone dealing with someone’s pain, trying to help her grand child, yet seemingly misunderstanding the deeper worth of a soul.
We often do not see our own value or personal worth, we see job titles, material trophies, the paths that seem to be lit with a seemingly brighter light. We wish and hope for more, thinking that it will help us feel better about our lives.
We forget that we are divine. We forget that we need to go through tough experiences that will bring us closer to our spirit, our inner joy and connection. We forget that we are given everything we need, we arrive happy, but it is our choice what we do with that happiness. Do we nurture it through self-love, giving and gratitude or do we starve it by seeking happiness outside of us??
Ask yourself…Are you important? How do you feel when you ask yourself that question?
Do you look at your life and feel worth (you feel you are moving in a direction to be your personal best, to have a worthwhile life) or do you feel weighed down by life (things seem to be an energy drain, you feel heavy and unfulfilled).
During this month of February, I urge you to take the time to step back and evaluate where you are on a personal level. Do you feel love toward yourself?
Here is a simple exercise to get your feelings flowing… Mirror Mirror
Precious jewel, you glow, you shine, reflecting all the GOOD things in the world. -Maya Angelou
1. Take this work seriously. You could easily just walk away and avoid your feelings for fear of what you will face. Do not walk away from this activity. Take this seriously.
2. Be honest with your feelings.
3. You can use a full body mirror, a wall mirror or a hand mirror for this activity.
4. When you talk to yourself, make sure you look into your eyes. There is a needed connection on a deeper level.
5. Look yourself in the eyes and say, “I love you”
Write down any thoughts and feelings. Be honest. This may be very hard for you to do, so look within for any thoughts or feelings that will help you with the inner work you need to do. (ie maybe you do not like how heavy you look, so you have a hard time looking at yourself…notice these feelings)
6. Ask yourself, “What do you see?”
Write down any thoughts and feelings.
7. Ask yourself, “Who are you?”
Write down any thoughts and feelings.
8. Then say, “I love you just as you are.”
Write down any immediate thoughts or feelings.
9. Finish with, “I deserve love.”
Write down any thoughts and feelings.
10. How do you feel? Did any surprising emotions or thoughts come up for you?? Did you cry? Were you honest with your thoughts and feelings?
Make sure you take the time to journal any thoughts or feelings that came up for you. You may need to work on processing your feelings through self love, acceptance or forgiveness. You may need to go deeper to understand why you had these feelings and explore the reasons.
If you did not have any thoughts or feelings…make the statements again. Look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself, “I love you.” Sit with this statement and repeat it if necessary until you have a reaction of any kind.
If you had loving personal thoughts, embrace these warm feelings and see their strength and beauty.
If you had a mix of loving and hurtful thoughts, embrace the good and seek understanding with the rest.
Nurture and love yourself through this process.
Lots of love to you. -Heather