Personal Quests

happiness-quotes-everything-is-a-gift-of-the-universe-even-joy-anger-jealousy-frustration-separateness-everything-is-perfect-growth-enjoyment-ken-keyes-wisdom-quotesMy sweet, 15-year-old daughter just left for her FIRST home-away camp where she will not be able to talk to her parents, use a phone & will be sleeping away for five days. She left with butterflies in her tummy, anxiety, fear, overwhelm, but knew deep down this was going to be a very good, positive growth opportunity for herself.

She arrived at the drop-off location and noticed a big group of other kids waiting with duffles, sleeping bags, pillow, etc. Her immediate reaction was then, “My duffle is too big!” Her personal overwhelm then turned into ‘my stuff is going to draw too much attention!’

Isn’t life funny like that. We are first perceived by ‘our stuff’ and then as we get beyond the exterior ‘stuff’ and go deeper, we are able to find our place, our desires, our quests, to connect on deeper levels with others, to learn what is truly important, to see what defines, to then have a clearer picture of who we are–on the inside. Sometimes it takes a personal quest, an act or instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search.

Why do we send our kids to camp? to open a door for themselves to seek something within, to pursue learning things about themselves, to give them an opportunity to be alone with who they truly are and find a clarity that will help guide their life.

Life is a big, giant quest for answers, guidance, depth, challenge, change, growth, and as we seek after various things we learn…TRULY learn what is important and what we value from within.

I believe everyone becomes stagnate until they begin to notice where there life may need some injections of purpose, play, adventure….personal quests!!

Let’s take a few lessons from my daughter’s experience & see how they can help us with our own life quests.

DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES MAKE US GROW: 

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I had to remind my daughter that through challenges we grow. The flower does not fully bloom until it has broken through the tough soil to feel the warmth of the sun. We often have to go through hard things to find a place that can challenge us on another level.

Every experience truly does have a gift if we can look for it. Whether it brings us pain or discomfort, the gifts will be found after we make it through the tough packaging.

Even knowing my daughter will not be able to see or talk to us for five days (which has never happened in her entire 15 years of life), I know the separation will be so sweet when we see her again. She/we will have gained an even deeper appreciation for our relationship.

There are gifts in every life experience.

 

BE A CONSTANT SEEKER OF LEARNING: 

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If we are constantly striving to learn, growth in a variety of ways will follow. Think about it–if you are always reading, you are improving your writing skills, comprehension, spelling, imagination, reducing stress, expanding your vocabulary, etc. If you are constantly seeking to take a class (online or in person) you will gain confidence and education. When you are trying to expand your mind through growth in any area of your life—it is a quest to become better than you were. We should always be striving to become better than we were yesterday.

 

BE FLEXIBLE:

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Dr. Wayne Dyer use to talk about striving to be flexible like a palm tree because they can bend in a storm and not break. If we can look at a situation and try to find a better way, to be flexible in the moment, the journey will be a little easier.

Today my daughter left the car, met a couple of girls & instantly joked, “Hi, I am Kate, the girl with the big bag!”  I laughed out loud thinking about the perspective she took. How she just went with the situation and was flexible enough to make it a funny moment.

 

FACE THE FEAR & DO IT ANYWAY: 

98c77c07fa270d19fe4e8472d14b469aI think we are often put in circumstances where we are afraid of the outcome–whether it is a work meeting that could turn confrontational, going to a class with people you have never met, trying a new sport & not wanting to look foolish…

When we face a fear there is no question we walk away a little taller. Think about a situation where you were afraid to go, afraid of an outcome, but you pushed yourself to go through with it.  Did you walk away feeling stronger and more confident? absolutely.

My daughter was terrified to go to camp & a couple of months ago when I brought up the topic of going, she was digging in her heels and determined not to go. I know that even at this moment, she may still feel some fear, but she is feeling more confident in knowing where she was & where she is today.

 

FIND JOY:

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When we are able to find things that bring us JOY, life becomes the purest version of what we need internally. The quest for Joy is an illusive one, until you take the time to find those things that light you up. When something lights you up, you are on your way. When we find and do things that light us up, it naturally lights up others around us. We find an internal spark that ignites ideas, creativity, energy, pursuits of variety…it brings us to places that sing and ignite individual purpose. We truly come alive!

This is one of my daughter’s favorite quotes of all time. She believes this with her whole heart. She has this spirit that wants to change the world & I know as she strengthens her courage muscles, faces fears, is challenged and finds growth, she will continually find her way & make the difference she desires. I see her light up after volunteering at our local aquarium and teaching kids about marine life. I see her light up when she speaks in front of groups. I see her light up learning new things. I see her light up when she has to face a challenge & knows it will be good for her.

Life should be full of things that help us pursue personal quests all of our life!! When we are learning, growing, being challenged to change—we will then be led to things that light us up & we will continually find higher parts of ourselves.

When we are striving to become better each day…each day truly will be better.

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Life is a sincere pursuit of things that will stay with us always. Look for the gifts in all you do. Make it a personal quest to find them. They are there to be unwrapped and enJOYed.

Peace, love and joy to you today.  -H

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Life Passage

Easter Sunday to be exact we put my fifteen year old daughter behind the wheel of our Durango and her Dad gave her the first driving lesson of many. I videoed it & my daughter’s expressions were priceless. She was NOT having a good time.

After the lesson we drove over to harts gas station and my husband ran inside to buy celebratory treats. I looked at my daughter in the back seat and she became a little emotional. I asked her what she was feeling & it was so genuinely sweet. She said, “I didn’t like driving because it makes me feel like I am getting older. I don’t want to be a teenager.”  I told her that she would never be a typical teen because that is not who she is. I explained how driving is just a right of passage in a way. I explained how you have to grow in life. You have to do things that help you fly, that help you learn. I talked about how the butterfly has to go through hard things, to struggle, to break free from its ‘chrysalis’ to be able to fly. We talked about how it is not a bad thing to learn and grow. I reiterrated that she would never be a typical teen. It was a very sweet conversation.

Life is like that! You go from one growth challenge to another to another. Life should be a passage, a passage to better things that help us grow to become better people.

I LOVE that idea–a passage. The definition of ‘rites of passage’ points that mark transitional periods in a person’s life, such as birth, puberty, marriage, having children, and death. Rites of passage usually involve ritual activities and teachings designed to strip individuals of their original roles and prepare them for new roles. -dictionary.com

We all go through life changes and challenges. We go through tough things that make us feel uncomfortable, that challenge our current belief systems. Without those challenges how would we truly grow??

My only issue is that life is FULL of change and rites of passage, but I am going to go with LIFE ‘PASSAGE’ (instead of rites of passage) which is the action or process of passing from one place, condition or stage to another. I think this is more accurate in terms of life. The whole life. We don’t just have children and stop growing until we die. There is a huge portion of life within that realm. I think as adults we do more growing as we parent, as we age, as we continue to find our place as adults.

My question—as adults how can we find those specific ‘life passages’ that we personally need to challenge us to growth? We can easily become stagnate as adults, so how do we continually grow?? Here are my thoughts, research and findings….

life-begins-at-the-end-of-your-comfort-zone-quoteBREAK OUT OF YOUR ORDINARY MOLD: Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Psychologist and author of “Better Than Perfect, says people who regularly seek out fresh experiences tend to be more creative and emotionally resilient than those who remain stuck in routine.

“Breaking your own mold can only make you stronger and more confident to reach higher levels in your professional and personal life,” she says.  

How to break out of the ordinary–Do everyday things differently–(unplug on a specific day or time. Brush your teeth standing on one leg. Try a new recipe. etc) Pick a big goal–(to write a book. to run a marathon. to climb a mountain. to read five books in a month. to start a business. etc) Do something physically challenging–(take a trapeze class. go ice skating. take a rock climbing class. certify as a yoga instructor. train for something. etc)

Benefits of breaking out–Optimal anxiety is that place where your mental productivity and performance reach their peak. Still, “increased performance” and “enhanced productivity” just sound like “do more stuff.” What do you really get when you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone? You’ll be more productive. You’ll have an easier time dealing with new and unexpected changes. You’ll find it easier to push your boundaries in the future. You’ll find it easier to brainstorm and harness your creativity. -lifehacker

 

1823516-Ginni-Rometty-Quote-I-learned-to-always-take-on-things-I-d-neverEMBRACE DISCOMFORT: That is how you truly grow. It is a catalyst for progress! “The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself.” -Mary Bean

This is an interesting idea: In an interview with Outside, Karnazes makes an important point that many of us have forgotten:

Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think that if we had every comfort available to us, we’d be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we’re so comfortable we’re miserable. There’s no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. We get in a car, we get in an elevator, it all comes easy. What I’ve found is that I’m never more alive than when I’m pushing and I’m in pain, and I’m struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there’s a magic.

That is a very interesting take from a serious Ultramarathon runner. BUT, we can look at this and equate it to our own lives. We strive to be comfortable, but I bet if any one person looked at their life to pinpoint their greatest times of personal growth, it would be in times of challenge and pain. We don’t grow in comfort. We are just comfortable. We may need to set some challenging or daunting personal goals.

 

1249822-Joe-Vitale-Quote-A-goal-should-scare-you-a-little-and-excite-you-aSET A BIG GOAL: “Don’t shrink from discomfort. Instead, let it guide you toward accomplishment.”  -Michael Hyatt

Goals make you ask a big question, “WHY?” If you can answer why you are doing something then you will see the vision behind your goal and the reason you feel compelled to move forward. Then you can ask, “How?” & begin on that part of the solution. Goals have a way of getting you in the right frame of mind to go beyond your current state.

“If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things–you don’t have enough goals.”  -Lou Holtz

Here are some great resources on creating goals: These should give you a good starting point for ideas. Make your own life list, 100 goals in 100 days, 100 goals in 10 years, it is your life–you make the plan!!

Jack Canfield has “101 Lifetime Goals” http://jackcanfield.com/blog/my-101-lifetime-goals-list-and-why-you-should-have-one-too/

Most important goals according to these ranks https://www.ranker.com/list/most-important-life-goals-list/samantha-dillinger

Another guy’s list of 100 Life Goals https://fullylived.com/100-life-goals-list/

There are MANY ideas from a variety of bloggers—google some ideas, take ideas you like and make your own list to help you live the life you want!

 

2570853-Sugata-Mitra-Quote-Ask-BIG-questions-find-BIG-answers.jpgTAKE SOME TIME TO ASK SOME BIG QUESTIONS: Take a weekend getaway or a day while you are on vacation. Maybe you take just a day alone to sit with yourself and ask some life questions. Use the time to get a renewed perspective of where you are and where you want to be. Ask yourself, “What inspires me?” “What have I learned from past mistakes or failures–what life lessons have I learned” “What do I value?” “Am I truly grateful?” “What are three things I need to look closer at in my life & work on?” “What am I the most afraid of?” “If I had a magic wand, what would I wish for? (no limitations)”  “What do I need in my life to grow?” “How strong is my self-worth & do I truly care about my needs?” “Is there something I enjoy doing that I don’t take enough time to do it more often?” “When do I feel most vulnerable?” “What am I the most proud of in my life?” “What am I focusing the majority of my time on in my life?” “Do I feel passion?” “What do I need at this moment in my life?”

 

72066-Chuck-Palahniuk-Quote-This-is-the-biggest-mistake-I-could-thinkSHAKE IT UP! Your environment, the foods you eat, the same people you surround yourself with, your daily routines, all add to states of comfort and stagnation. Take some time to shake things up–look on Groupon or a local activity sites to see if there is something fun to do to shake up your routine. Try something new each week (a new meal, a new work outfit, surprise someone with a lunch picnic during your work break, find a new way to work, learn a new recipe, listen to a different style of music (Alexa has all kinds of play lists), a new workout, join a club that you are interested in, etc.

 

Quotes About Improving Your Life Robin S. Sharma Quote “Investing In Yourself Is The BestINVEST IN YOU! Are you doing something/anything for you? Take a class, learn a new skill or talent. Is there something you have always wanted to do or try?? Is there a book you have been wanting to read, but have not made the time. Is there an exercise class you have wanted to try? Is there something you can do/learn to boost your confidence? Is there a craft class you have been wondering about? Have you always wanted a monthly massage? Is there a workshop or seminar you have been interested in?Are you following & listening to your heart? Are you taking care of your health? Are you choosing things that make you feel happy?

Why is investing in yourself so powerful? Investing in yourself, sends a powerful message to yourself and the world. The message is:The value and potential that I possess, is important enough to me that I’m going to give it the energy, space and time to grow and create results.  -huffington post

When you are taking time to do something for yourself, everyone around you benefits. You feel more alive, awakened, challenged, rejuvenated…investing in you is a win. win.

 

738837-William-Shatner-Quote-I-am-curious-about-many-things-and-find-the.jpgFIND AWE: The feelings you get from standing in a grove of trees, looking up into a starry night sky, having a space or feeling that seems to transdend. This is one strong human emotion. Many studies showed that people who frequently experience awe tend to have lower levels of a substance that’s been linked to stress and poor health. As part of a recent two-part study at the University of California, Berkeley, students filled out a questionnaire describing their feelings over the past month and submitted samples of their saliva to test for a substance linked with stress in the body. The students who said they’d recently experienced feelings of awe were more likely than students who hadn’t to have lower levels of the stress-linked substance (called interleukin-6) in their spit. In fact, the more often a student said they’d experienced awe in the past month, the lower his or her levels of the substance tended to be (More on the details of the study and its findings here). -businessinsider article

Awe-inspiring moments take us to a deeper place and help us realize that we are part of something so much bigger than ourselves. How to look for daily experiences of awe: being moved by music, looking at the light of the world & seeing the shadows, repetitive patterns in nature, finding the sacred in quiet moments, noticing the colors changing, seeing someone have a giving heart.

Here is a great article that talks more in-depth about the emotion of awe.  https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awe

 

Well, I hope this is a good start for your personal Life Passage. Life should be cherished.

-Peace and Love to you today.  -H

Find your YOUniqueness!

570fd34c4dd35c2149fcb5e0ed7879da--epic-quotes-godly-quotesMy daughter has been going to a summer camp this week at our local aquarium. She has been learning from all sorts of people–some love to scuba-dive, some love ‘cats’, some train the parrots, one guy loves toads and another guy LOVES coral.

As I have sat and listened to my daughter explain these various people, my mind truly connected on how different each and every one of us are. We each have our own strengths. We each have our own ‘loves.’ We each are drawn to various things. We are each so very unique! It was truly an aha that someone could truly become so attracted and drawn to coral. Who would have thought!! But that just shows how the world is full of variety on every level. Each and every individual is suppose to unearth their ‘YOUniqueness’! Their one and only gift to the world. The things that make them come alive.

That makes me think of this great quote:164351-don-t-ask-what-the-world-needs-quote

Here are some tips and tricks to unearth a deeper, bigger part of YOU.

Look at your passions/gifts/strengths: What do you enjoy doing? What could you do for hours and not get tired of doing it? Look at your hobbies & evaluate what you enjoy about them. Figure out what you are good at, what you enjoy, what lights you up & build on that.

Look at your strengths and build on them: I truly believe investing in yourself is a great step in moving forward in developing yourself. Take a class you are drawn to, but have been avoiding because of feeling uncomfortable. Take time to read something that will lift and build your life. Learn something new each day. Practice something you excel in each day (even if it is only 15 minutes). Take a strengths test–see link below.

Don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else: You are YOU! You have your own unique qualities and characteristics, so when you compare yourself to others, you are desiring to become more like them & NOT yourself. Practice seeing YOUR unique life gifts and the great things you do.

Don’t shrink so others feel comfortable: I think society makes many of us feel like we need to wear certain things, drive certain cars, participate in all the fads, have the “best” things, etc. I think we sometimes put our own styles aside to fit in. I think we say things to fit in. I think we do things, buy things, talk about certain things to fit in. How does that serve the world?? If we all become exactly the same & shrink so we ‘fit in,’ how is that shining our uniqueness for the world to embrace?  That reminds me of another great quote–one of my favorites.

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Take a fun test to learn about your strengths & personality traits: There are all kinds of personality and strengths tests out there. Find one that sounds interesting to YOU. I have taken a couple–The Strengths Test (StrengthsFinder by Tom Rath–which helps you identify different strength qualities you have). Recently I took the free 16personalities.com test & that was a fun test to take. The tests are fun just to see how accurate you feel they are & give you additional insight to you in a different way. Try it & see what you learn about yourself.

Here is another article with some tips: Top 10 Ways to Discover your unique gift. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-berman-fortgang/personal-development_b_1925875.html

Great article with some additional ideas to help you seek your YOU.  http://www.yoursuccessprogram.com/blog/19-steps-to-becoming-your-unique-self/

A list of different ted talks to help you find your purpose: https://www.ted.com/playlists/313/talks_to_help_you_find_your_pu

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Have a BeYOUtiful day!!

Spring Cleaning for the Soul 2

woman-reading-in-hammockNEW TO YOU: Growth, Challenge, Change.

When most people decide they want or need to personally grow they look to those around them to learn from and then they also dive into the pages of good books. Reading has always been a well-spring for me personally. You can find educated people, people who have struggled and share their stories, adventurous people, people you can learn anything from. Books are a good starting point.

I also believe in just reaching out. If there is someone you want to learn something from–email them. The internet is a gift in that way, that you can connect with anyone. You know I have reached out to  Catherine Johnson(who did Mamma Mia (she was WONDERFUL), shared musical ideas with  Mika(never heard from him or his team), gone straight to book authors for ideas or museums for direction) Reach out. Learn. Grow.

ACTION: I have done my share of coaching classes, retreats, actual coaching of clients, but this tool I came across and thought you may benefit from. Its the ‘GROW’ tool:  This may help you in any life decision. Go for it!

“Don’t go through life, grow through life.” -E Butterworth

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largeBEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE & OUT.  Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing thing you will ever own.

“You are an original, an individual, a masterpiece. Celebrate that; don’t let your uniqueness make you shy. Don’t be someone other than the wonder you are. Every star is important to the sky.”  -Douglas Pagels

ACTION: “When you look at yourself in a mirror, do you like what you see, or do you judge your body and use the word to tell yourself lies? If you believe that you are not attractive enough, then you believe a lie, and you are using the word against yourself, against the truth.”  -Migual Angel Ruiz

“Your body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in.” -BKS Iyengar

How do you take care of your body: 

Take time to exercise

Make sleep a priority–7 to 8 hours at least

Eat well and savor it

Listen to pain

Slow down

Keep a journal because it is therapeutic

Read because it is relaxing and is also a good escape

Have personal self time

Unplug

Talk to yourself in a positive manner

Positive affirmations

Play. Do things you truly enjoy doing

Learn something new because it not only stimulates your brain, but it invigorates your life

Dont forget to hydrate! You need at least 8 x 8oz glasses

 

3ekmbaSERVE

“We rise by lifting others.” -Robert Ingersoll. I LOVE this thought & it rings so true. Think about a time when you did something/anything for another person….YOU were lifted. My sweet daughter was running into the gas station to get me a drink & she always holds the door open for people who are coming and going. She lights up & one man gave a sweet gesture in return. She went up to the cashier to pay & he jumped in to pay. She lit up & he gave her a fist bump. She almost skipped out of the gas station & lit up as she shared the details of the story. Something so small (holding a door open) lit up his day and hers. We truly do rise by doing even little things for others.

“Spread LOVE everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving HAPPIER.” -Mother Teresa

ACTION: 

Seek /create opportunities to serve.

Be the reason someone SMILES today.

Send someone an encouraging note.

Pay it forward. Be generous in opening a door, allowing someone to go in front of you in line, get your mom a drink. smile.

Ask God if there is some way you can serve another.

 

ed4a6334ee35d635282ee8e090e1f577PLAY. FIND JOY. BELIEVE in MAGIC…be young at heart

” The heart that LOVES is always young.” -unknown.    “To a young heart, everything is fun.” -Charles Dickens.    “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age.” -Aldus Huxley.

ACTION: 

READ: Take time to read your favorite classic stories.

TINKER: Figure out how something works.

PLAY: Skip, Explore, Create, Be silly, climb a tree, do bubbles, collect rainbows, daydream

HAVE A PICNIC: eat outside, something you loved as a child. (chicken nuggets, yogurt, cheese puffs, etc), fly a kite, play a lawn game, look at the clouds, lay on a blanket.

CREATE: Make a card or something hand made and gift it to someone. Be CREATIVE: Doodle, dress-up, make-believe, have theme days/parties, tell a tale w voices.

COOK: Learn something new & get messy.

IMAGINE: use your creativity & make something colorful, bright and imaginative.

GO OUTSIDE: throw rocks, paint a rock, skip down a path, make something from nature, take a picture, breathe in the fresh air, play in the dirt, shoot an arrow.

SMILE & LAUGH: tell jokes, watch a funny movie.

DANCE: be free to move & play your favorite tunes.

NAP: Take a nap & not care what time it is.

Be CURIOUS: want to learn about something–stop & ask. Read up on a topic or ask an expert. learn, grow.

WONDER: See the magic everywhere. Life is awesome!

 

8778035b1067fcd00d00070776aac23bREMEMBER YOU ARE LOVE

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

2dgfpaq6Since the month of LOVE is quickly approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to post about LOVE. Not just “Love YOU” sentiments or valentine hearts and kisses, the LOVE that begins with YOU.

I think on some level every single one of us have moments where we struggle with loving ourselves. You may be on one end of the spectrum where you just have moments of self-doubt or maybe you truly dislike many things and suffer through life. On any level, it begins with YOU. You truly cannot love others or give love without beginning with the person in the mirror.

I love how John Lennon puts it

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This made me want to find further information to prove that LOVE truly can conquer all fears and help us begin to love ourselves and others. We need to kick the fear, insecurities, shame, sadness, low energy feelings and begin to replace them with higher frequency thoughts and feelings. When we are able to begin to change FEAR (self-doubt, self-hatred, depression, envy, all the negative emotions) and replace them with LOVE (joy, happiness, self-love, trust, all the positive emotions) then things truly begin to change.

When we begin with ourselves LOVE and light will then radiate in all we do. We can then reach out and LOVE others. We can then have something to give to others. The beautiful circle begins.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND THIS:

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In a joint study with Stony Brook University, Rutgers University, and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, researchers performed brain scans of people in long-term relationships. The couples studied were in a loving partnership for an average of 21.4 years. The researchers found significant activation in the medial orbitofrontal cortex.1 That is part of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain involved in regulating behavior and decision-making.

If we take a look at the brain, we can break the brain up into three major parts. The first part or outside layer is the neocortex, or new layer. This is the last layer to evolve. Going deeper we find the limbic system or emotional brain. Then at the core we find the reptilian brain. This houses our automatic responses such as breathing and instinctual actions.

This small but mighty reptilian brain has the capability to shut down the neocortex and take over. It can literally take the part of the brain where love resides off line. When fear triggers the fight or flight response, brain activity is transfer from the prefrontal cortex in the neocortex to the inner reptilian brain. This can happen when we feel stress or anxiety. In fact, in some people without the behavioral modifying prefrontal cortex keeping their baser impulses in check, can find themselves over-eating, compulsively shopping, gambling, or even turning to drugs and alcohol.

But more importantly to this discussion, stress or fear can weaken the neuro-connections to love. In fact, research at Mount Sinai School of Medicine found that chronic stress or focusing on fear shrivel the connections to the prefrontal cortex.2 Therefor the concept that there is only fear or love is scientifically valid.

To make matters worse, fear is actually stronger than love. When fear pops up, it disconnects the brain from love. However, the good news is that the neuro-connections to love can be regrown. By letting go of fear and anxiety, you get the added bonus of the greater capacity for long-term love.  -Taken from dawnmaslar article

YOUR THOUGHTS: The principle is simple: Throughout your brain there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about. It’s very similar to how nerves carry electric from the sensation in your toe all the way up to your brain where it’s actually “felt”. 
Here’s the kicker: Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross. This is a microcosmic example of evolution, of adaptation. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together–in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger. Therefore, your first mystical scientific evidence: your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus are changing a physical construct of reality. Let that sink in for a moment before you continue, because that’s a seriously profound logic-bomb right there.   -curiousapes.com.   

So, what does that mean: You are strengthening your brain with either LOVE or FEAR. YOU decide every second of every day what you are allowing to grow through your thoughts. You are either nurturing thoughts of LOVE or FEAR.

 

lovevsfearIN CLOSING
It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear. Can you think of a time when you’ve been in both love and fear? It’s impossible.

We have to make a decision to be in one place or the other. There is no neutrality in this. If you don’t actively choose love, you will find yourself in a place of either fear or one of its component feelings. Every moment offers the choice to choose one or the other. And we must continually make these choices, especially in difficult circumstances when our commitment to love, instead of fear, is challenged.   –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler from “Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living”

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Begin today to become more aware of what you are telling yourself and what you are living–LOVE or FEAR. It truly is one or the other. Look at it for yourself. You either FEEL good or bad in anything you do, say or feel. Be aware and begin to truly LOVE yourself. This will then begin the beautiful circle that will surround you and all those in it.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

-Peace and lots of LOVE to you today. -H

To thine own self be true

Over the years I have taken quite a few personality tests and find them very fun. My cute sister sent me one to take & so I enlisted my family to all take it. So fun!!

It is interesting to me that a test that asks various questions can give such accurate output. I announced to my daughter that my personality only makes up 1% of the population. She beamed and instantly piped up, “You are very unique then!” I smiled. Then I was actually shocked that when my daughter took it (she is 13) she had the exact same personality as me! She then felt very special too.

I think anything that makes you look at yourself and helps you to find your strengths, your weaknesses, your characteristics and personality, is a tool that will help you to better yourself overall.  So, I thought this post would be fun to find some tools that would help you to become true to thine own self. Because when you get to a higher personal level, then you will lift others up to theirs.

620-360-smiling-shy-womanPERSONALITY TEST(S): So, go to 16personalities.com and take the personality test. Over 52 million people already have, so there must be something productive. I thought it was great fun!! Enjoy. Make sure you take the test and then look at the detailed personality type (once you know yours). Have fun!

Strengths Finder is another test that I have taken. http://strengths.gallup.com/110440/About-StrengthsFinder-20.aspx

635957612716911605893600755_ponderingSELF CHECK: Give yourself a ‘self check’ Maybe every once in awhile you need to sit down & ask yourself where you have had success and failure on a personal level. Maybe you have shelved some personal goals that you need to pull out of the closet and work on. Maybe you have been hiding out from your deeper self and avoiding a more purposeful path. Maybe you are not taking care of yourself physically. Here are a few questions in various areas of your life to check in on–Maybe stick with the basics–how are you taking care of yourself (physically)?  [Are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising, taking vitamins, eating well, drinking enough water, getting outside, etc]   how are you taking care of yourself emotionally? [Are you putting up personal boundaries? Are you sharing feelings? Do you feel heard? How is your self-talk, etc]     how are you doing on a spiritual level? [Are you doing something to feel connected to something greater than yourself?  Have you found a ritual like meditation or yoga to calm your mind? Are you taking time to restore yourself? Are you taking time in nature? Do you have a religious or spiritual practice?]  how are you doing with close relationships? [Are you communicating?  Do you feel any resentments or harsh feelings? Can you share your feelings whether they are good or bad? Do you feel lifted and built up by the relationships you have or do they drain you?  Do you feel connected?]   how are you doing with family? [Are you taking time with your kids? Do you feel like you “know” them to some degree? Do you feel present when you are with them or are you busy on your phone? Do you invest by asking questions, taking time & having special activities you do together? Have you asked them what they need from you? and then truly listen].

learnsomethingneweverydayLEARN SOMETHING NEW: There is no greater way to get to know yourself even better than trying new things and seeing what lights you up!! Even if you just learned something new each day (a few tiny, fun facts) you will feel like you are growing to some degree. Trust me, I have done this. OR you can give yourself a bigger goal of climbing the tallest mountain in your state or maybe you just want to begin with the indoor rock climbing facility down the street. I think when you open yourself up to trying new, different, challenging, out of your comfort zone type of things, there is only one thing you will feel—growth & challenge. You will be able to look at various things and say, “I love that!” or  “I don’t really care for that & I don’t need to try it again.”

636048450500681240-1046652568_yourself-loving-yourself-first-quotes-loving-yourself-first-quotes-03verw-quoteLEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF: This is often a hard one for all of us, but if you don’t take the time to truly try to go within and find the self love you need, you will always be missing something. Can you look in your bathroom mirror and tell yourself, “I love you.”  I did a womens retreat & had small groups of women pass around a mirror and try to say that to themselves. It was overwhelming to see how many women broke down in tears ashamed they could not look in the mirror and say that to themselves. It broke my heart. I think we all have varying levels of self love and sometimes we just need to take baby steps to a higher awareness of the love we have and need within. Begin by finding something you DO love about yourself. Focus on that. Maybe begin to take a fun picture of the style you are wearing or your amazing pedicure. Maybe you love your smile or the way you make others feel. Little steps will help you focus on the little things you like & that will lead to the bigger things that will fill you up with more self love.

e08121407a7375a791e3da09e7170598ENJOY THE JOURNEY: Here is a great article I came across that has some good personal questions and fun analogies about finding purpose. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-find-your-lifes-purpose-and-make-yourself-better-person.html

Best wishes in your quest to be true to thine own self. Have a beautiful day. -H

 

 

I Love You

stock-footage-pretty-girl-erases-lipstick-on-mirror-i-love-you-a-beautiful-woman-wipes-off-the-words-i-love-youI was just watching a video clip of Christiane Northrup talk about a personal morning ritual that she does. She mentioned it is Louise Hay’s work. She said she stands in front of a mirror and looks deeply into her eyes and says, “I Love you.”

This took me back to a women’s retreat I did years ago where I had groups of women sit down together and do this same activity. It was remarkable to see a group of strangers instantly have a connection through the emotions of such a task. Women were balling as they looked at themselves in the mirror and then there were questions, stories, people who related to others feelings. The circle connected and lifted and loved one another.

I think this is a great thing to begin to do. If you have never looked at yourself in the mirror. smile. smile. Of course you have, but have you ever really looked? Have you looked deeply into your own eyes and reached a deeper point in to your soul and told yourself, “I Love you.”  If the mind monkeys creep in and begin to see your flaws, your lines, your gray hair, your age…push them aside and tell yourself again, “I Love you.”

Christiane said to try it for at least 30 days and see what happens. I know I am going to. It was a good reminder.

I LOVE YOU. Three little words with a big impact on your heart and soul. Spread the LOVE. Begin with YOU.