Talk. Talk. Talk.

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I think every relationship needs nurturing. Even the best relationships can fall into ruts, get caught up in the daily routines, gets rushed, stuffed, or forgotten.

I am going to try and find some good advice for one of the most important parts of any good relationship—communication. My sweet, younger sister is always asking, “What do you talk about,” when we are talking about our marriages.

I think taking the time to invest in communication, one-on-one talking, secrets that you share, funny gossip, something you have learned…is so vital to the growth of any relationship, so that is what I am going to touch on today.

 

 

We have all heard the saying, “Never ASSume. You make an ASS out of U & ME” That is still true in relationships. I think sometimes we may think we know our partner so well that we may assume they mean one thing or maybe they are thinking something else. NEVER ASSUME. This quote should go both ways–women should never assume everything is okay with their man either. In any relationship it goes both ways.

 

You have heard all the sayings, “Get it off your chest,” or “Say what is in your heart,” or “Speak your truth,” or “Say what you need to say”… There truly is wisdom in being heard. Everyone needs to feel they can get their feelings out, no matter what. Be honest with yourself & those around you. If you need to share feelings or are harboring ill will about something—get it out!

 

f94bd6cbb83330102748431d118184fcThis just made me smile, but is so true. What a tragic story that could have had a happy ending if they would have just talked & communicated what was going on in their lives. Everyone is going in different life directions, but if we don’t stop & talk about what we are doing or where we are going…someone is bound to get lost.

 

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The sooner you realize every individual has different needs and are different people, the better. A couple is TWO DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS that come together. BUT, you need to be willing to be flexible to the needs of one another. It is good to be different because hopefully you will help one another grow in better directions. You may be very outgoing and your husband is very introverted & that is okay because you will help balance one another out. Be serious. Be silly. Try new things together. Find the things you enjoy together, but also be willing to stretch & grow.

 

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I think this quote works well for any type of communication (work relationships, but also marriage). Any marriage can communicate to get by. BUT if you truly work on your communication, miracles will happen in your relationship & your family.

 

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This is a very true statement. PERIOD. We can always learn more when we try to understand the other persons situation instead of trying to get back at them. This is vital in a marriage. My husband is very good at stepping back after he has said something to hurt me & trying to understand why it affected me so much. He always takes the high road & tries to understand on a deeper level.

 

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Learn all you can about yourself, so you are your best self in the most important relationship of your life. When you are aware of personal insecurities you can face them & find better ways to deal with them. They can & will affect your relationship. Be careful spending so much time on time stealers like Facebook because … One study found that high levels of Facebook usage were associated with negative relationship outcomes like cheating and break-up.12 Such negative outcomes are generally the result of Facebook-related conflicts like contacting an ex-partner and constant partner monitoring. -Pscyhology today  Here is another article that talks about multiple reasons it affects relationships http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/7-studies-prove-facebook-terrible-your-relationship

 

 

Begin again. Here are some great resources to get you talking again in one of the most important relationships you have–

30 starts to a great conversation: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/communication/30-ways-to-start-a-conversation-with-your-spouse

80 more questions: https://relationshiprealities.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/80-questions-to-help-couples-practice-communication/

Love Map game: http://mothersniche.com/20-questions-a-communication-game-to-strengthen-your-marriage/

I hope all these thoughts and ideas help your relationship grow. Have a beautiful day. -H

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Maybe a Life trap

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I just read this quote and it hit me straight between the eyes. It is so true. I have actually seen a red fox trapped in a steel vice & it had almost chewed its leg off struggling to get free. It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen in my life. I never want to see anything like that again. It was truly soul wrenching. I looked deeply into its beautiful golden eyes and my heart ached for it. I was helpless.

I have that same gut-wrenching heartache for my brother that has become an alcoholic within 6 months. How does that happen! I believe he is choosing a slow death and that pains me to the core. The saddest part of it all is he has a beautiful family. He has a 12-year-old son that enjoys him and just wants to be his best friend. He has so many good things in his life, but he chose to take something to “take the edge off…to be able to talk to people more…to relax…to…”

He is like the trapped fox that is slowly dying. He doesn’t even see it. Okay, maybe he does. He knows he is hurting his body because he is already feeling the pains. He knows the risks, but he chooses to take one more sip. He gets in a car with his family & doesnt think he is buzzed, but the reality is, who truly drinks & thinks they could end someone’s life?? What drinker does?

I am sure that fox did not see the risk in taking one little piece of something that would lead to his doom. Who does? Who thinks that one drink, that one prescription, that one…would lead to something bigger than themselves, something that eventually will be the demise of the good that is in their life. No one steps into a trap willingly.

I don’t have anything against drinking, but I do have something against people who are not responsible or care about the outcome their addictive behavior may cause. We all have relationships within our lives that at times can be toxic. It is when people loose themselves to the traps that those around them fall victims too. That is what pains me most. Please be careful in all that you do & how your choices affect those around you.

-Peace and Love. -H

Look at yourself & ask—What is beautiful in my world today? What will set you free?

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Go with the flow

About four months ago my husband gave his notice to his current job situation. I was supportive, but extremely nervous of where this current decision would take us. We are still trying to find the right current to float.

7d7dd33344f9189540e3ca8f5f3b724cLife is like that, one minute you are in a secure job (going with an easy flow), the next minute you are not (you are high centered on a log in the river of life).

lao-tzu-quote-life-is-a-seriesI have been in this same situation a few times over the past few years and it doesn’t seem to get any easier. I keep looking to the sky and saying, “What are we suppose to learn from this?” “Okay. I am Forwarding All Issues To Heaven (FAITH).” This time we have gone a step farther and have packed up our entire house incase we have to move because the money is running out! I have looked to the sky and said, “Okay, this is serious. We are REALLY packing up our house!” Living in this energy can get pretty stressful…the wondering, the constant job leads, the interviews, the numerous, “you were in the top 3 out of 200…It is between you and an internal candidate…” BUT telling our one daughter that we may have to move was the hardest point of it all. To make her teeter on her feelings of security, to wonder if she is going to have to leave the school she loves, to move away from her precious cousins…the tears did not stop & she is not one to cry. That was the greatest pain of all. It is in a moment like that you really wonder why you are going through this struggle and what you are suppose to learn from it.

 

shutterstock_123143329Then, you have one of those moments. One of those quiet moments. I was out walking & noticed a bird flying so high up in the sky. It was a speck in the grand, blue sky. I watched as it whirled and darted through the air. Then there were two, three, five…they all circled and floated with the currents of the wind. I just watched in amazement & had an aha moment. I thought to myself, “those birds could be taken and thrown down by the current & crushed onto the ground in one gust, but they live fearlessly, knowing that they were meant to fly. They know that there is something greater at work and they have the faith that as they go with the flow of life, they will fly higher and higher. They live in the flow, the current and have no fear of falling. They fly with that higher knowing.

I walked home comforted in knowing that there is a greater purpose to our current situation. I have to have faith in that. I have to hold a space for what is suppose to happen, what will be best for our life. I have to have faith in the flow of this beautiful life. All is well.

 

I can only hope that if any of you read this post & are struggling with a personal problem of any kind, you will have faith in something larger in your life. Have faith that things will work out how they are suppose to–no matter what! Things may get hard, but if you try to follow the flow of what is meant for you, your life will be the right current you need to float. We all go through the ups and downs of life. It is how you experience the ride that will make all the difference.

Peace to you today.  -H

Coincidence?

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sunflower-featureLast night I bought a sunflower to put on the windshield of someone I’m smitten with. After some consideration I decided not to since we had only been on one date, the night previous. Don’t want to come off too strong, right? Anyway, I grabbed the flower on my way out this morning with the intention to give it to someone on my way to work so it didn’t die alone. What happened next has left me changed in ways I don’t even have words for yet.

While I was sitting and drinking my morning joe at the coffee shop (which I typically take to go), I saw a woman reading something with tears quietly and quickly sliding down her pale face. It was like there was a magnet in the sunflower that was being drawn to her, because I knew in that moment she was who I was going to give the sunflower to; she was who I had to give it to.

When I got to her table I said, ‘hey, pardon me. I have this sunflower that I was hoping to give to someone special and that someone I had in mind didn’t work out, but I can feel that you’re special too, so I want you to have it.’

Before I could even hand her the sunflower, this complete stranger flew into my arms with tears flowing, and gratitude spewing, as if I was someone she once loved, and lost. It’s what she said next that I’m still trying to grip.She was crying because her fiancé had died the week before, just months before they were going to get married. On their first date he brought her a sunflower and from then on, got her sunflowers, never roses, because she was the light of his life.

Today, through me, he was able to show her that she’ll always be the light of his life and how we as humans have a message to carry that goes far beyond words.

I’m shaken, awaken and feeling raw. You never know how much a simple gesture of giving someone a $5 flower will change their life, as well as yours. Life is about giving and being of service to others. I challenge you all to find a way to make someone else’s life just a little bit brighter today and be of service. You never know the impact you could have.   -From Faithit.com

 

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9/11 

(CNN) — Greer Epstein never took breaks.

An executive director at Morgan Stanley, she rarely left her office on the 67th floor because she never had time.

But 20 minutes before 9 a.m., one of her buddies called. “How about getting a cigarette?” He wanted to talk about an upcoming work meeting. It was a calm day with clear blue skies — the most beautiful day she had ever seen from her view from the World Trade Center. Epstein figured why not.

While riding down the elevator, she felt a jolt, but ignored it since the elevators had always acted strangely.

When she stepped outside to light up her Benson & Hedges, she saw people frozen in place, their eyes fixed to the sky. Paper rained down like chaotic confetti. As she stared at the fire and smoke billowing from a hole in the North Tower, she wondered: “How do they fix something like that?”

That’s when a plane flew through her office in the South Tower.

A cigarette break saved her life.

 

elite-daily-titanicThe future of the Titanic: Morgan Robertson, in 1898, wrote “Futility”. It described the maiden voyage of a transatlantic luxury liner named the Titan. Although it was touted as being unsinkable, it strikes an iceberg and sinks with much loss of life. In 1912 the Titanic, a transatlantic luxury liner widely touted as unsinkable strikes an iceberg and sinks with great loss of life on her maiden voyage. In the Book, the Month of the Wreck was April, same as in the real event. There were 3,000 passengers on the book; in reality, 2,207. In the Book, there were 24 Lifeboats; in reality, 20.

“Months after the Titanic sank, a tramp steamer was traveling through the foggy Atlantic with only a young boy on watch. It came into his head that it had been thereabouts that the Titanic had sunk, and he was suddenly terrified by the thought of the name of his ship – the Titanian. Panic-stricken, he sounded the warning. The ship stopped, just in time: a huge iceberg loomed out of the fog directly in their path. The Titanian was saved.”  -From Canyouactually.com

 

arewell-funeral-plannersfuneralsirelandabraham-lincolnjohn-f-kennedyjfkThe Kennedy/Lincoln Link

This one is an old story, but worth recounting because it is so unusual. It revolves around an unusual number of coincidences that occurred between Presidents Kennedy and Lincoln in regards to their assassination. For example, both men were elected 100 years apart (Lincoln in 1860, Kennedy in 1960); they were both succeeded by Southerners named Johnson, and the two Johnsons were born 100 years apart (Andrew in 1808, Lyndon in 1908). Both assassins were born 100 years apart (Booth in 1839 and Oswald in 1939) and both died before they could be brought to trial. Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin was cornered in a warehouse, while Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin was captured in a theater. Finally, Lincoln was shot in Ford’s theater, while Kennedy was shot while riding in a Ford Lincoln, and to top it all off, Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln (Evelyn Lincoln) while Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy. The list goes on from there and has been the source of considerable debate ever since.

Another Lincoln coincidence: In an interesting coincidence, Edwin Booth saved Abraham Lincoln’s son, Robert, from serious injury or even death. The incident occurred on a train platform in Jersey City, New Jersey. The exact date of the incident is uncertain, but it is believed to have taken place in late 1864 or early 1865, shortly before Edwin’s brother, John Wilkes Booth, assassinated President Lincoln. Lincoln, was waiting on a narrow, crowded platform for a train in Jersey City, New Jersey when he lost his footing and fell beneath the slowly moving carriage of a departing train. Pulled to safety before any harm befell him, he turned to thank his rescuer and was surprised to see it was the well known actor Edwin Booth, the brother of John Wilkes. In what could only be considered one of the most remarkable coincidences in history, the son of a president was rescued by the brother of that president’s assassin!

 

us-original-declaration-1776Though both men turned out to be bitter political rivals later in their careers (Jefferson was Adams Vice-President until he went on to beat his own boss in the election of 1800) the two men did share their love for country. As such, both men were instrumental in drafting the Declaration of Independence which, as everyone knows, was first signed on July 4, 1776. What most people don’t know, however, is that both men were also to die on the same day, July 4, 1826, exactly fifty years to the day the document was first ratified. How’s that for timing?
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Here is a link to people’s personal accounts of their own coincidences if you feel like reading more. Enjoy. http://improbability-principle.com/tales-of-strange-coincidences/
I hope these stories help you see…
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