August 2019 – yourhappyplaceblog

Turning Points

Published on August 27, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

crossroad-path-in-lavender-meadow1 “At every turning point of my life, I can see your smiling face and my teary eyes.” -SB

Googled “Life Turning Points” and this is what came up: A Turning Point is a critical time in your life where big decisions could lead to big change, both in work and in life.

OR another point of view The idea of turning points in our lives is a powerful one. It’s the idea that at a certain point, a big event happens that changes your life irrevocably. -huffingtonpost

Some turning points are conscious, others less so…But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another. And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way. -Psychology today

My husband and his six sisters have been facing a rather big turning point for the past week. There Dad that is 71 has been diagnosed with an extremely rare disease (one in one and a half million people) that is eating his brain at a rapid rate and stealing his life from them. It came out of nowhere and has been a very heavy and tragic time that has humbly brought them together, but has also left them feeling many why’s. They are at a daily turning point of questioning God; wondering why their Dad has to suffer more and more each day; watching people come and go with sorrowful goodbye’s, yet the family still trying to get through the shallow breaths of death each night. He is on the brink of death and at one point just asked them to let him die. It has been dementia on steroids, leaving them all with an empty shell of a man at points, hallucinating the next and then completely lucid. My husband has walked in on him a few times & his body is in motion as if stringing a fishing rod & even biting the line off with his teeth. It is a horrible disease that quickly takes over and it has been a rollercoaster of emotion for everyone.

Each day has been different for each one of the family member’s who stay up all night watching…waiting…wondering when he will take his last breath. They all wonder where he goes when he seems to just be a shell. One day one of his daughter’s who had not slept and was running on a very emotionally empty tank had a psychotic episode and the hospital almost admitted her to the psyche ward for her erratic behavior. She was at a turning/tipping point of her overall experience. She had to step back and have family members force her to sleep, to bring her back to reality, so she could be present as her Dad passes.

The family has been each dealing with their own turning points in different ways. My husband is almost like the father to all of his six sisters. He always has been. He is in the middle of three older and three younger sisters. He is the only boy and they have always relied on him over their own Dad, so nothing is new to him. This is just a different level of a turning point—he is holding their hands each day as they express their feelings, their fears, their needs. His emotional tank is running low, but each day is a turning point of how he will handle each situation with care. He is learning more about himself, more about selfless love, more about unconditional love and servant leadership. I called him and expressed my deep love and appreciation for the man he is & admire how hard he is trying to serve everyone involved. He is better than me. I could not do what he is doing each day.

Turning points have different viewpoints. [Think of yourself standing at a crossroad of two paths–two different viewpoints or life turning points] I may step back from one emotional road & admire how someone else is traveling it. I try to take it in and see it from someone else’s perspective and hope that when I am in the midst of traveling a similar road, that I could handle it with some sort of grace, dignity and selfless action. I can only hope.

Everyone has their journey & each path will be different. BUT Some turning points are conscious, others less so…But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another. And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way. -Psychology today

May we each look at each step along our journey and find our best self. May we always seek to learn, grow and strive to be a better version of ourselves along the way.

Peace to all today—Especially my sweet husband and his sisters. Bless you all through this journey. I know it has been a beautiful, but very hard and painful road. xoxoxo

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” -Max Lerner

Can’t Seem to Stay Focused?

Published on August 15, 2019August 15, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Creativity-Quote-by-Maya-Angelou-Instagram I found myself talking to my sister and expressing how I just feel like I have so many ideas in the works, but for some reason, feel like I have not accomplished everything I desire to. For years it has left me feeling pulled into writing this book idea, then a screenplay, then creating children’s books, researching, writing, art…it has seemed to go round and round for years, leaving me feeling troubled and wondering why I seem to start and stop projects.

I then came across this—The Hyper Creative Mind. Wow!! Did I instantly resonate with the ongoing circles of thought processes and a true understanding that this could possibly be what I have been struggling with. I always have struggled wondering if there is some underlying fear, laziness, no focus, etc.

I just began researching this idea to see what could help me focus. The following are some tips that I have come across. If you seem to be struggling from some of the same feelings or actions, I highly invite you to find your way through the hyper creative mind and find focus. Bless you on your journey.

Here are some articles that may help you understand this whole idea better:

Great article “Too many ideas in your mind? How to let your hyper creative mind achieve success” https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-to-focus-your-hyper-creative-mind-to-achieve-success.html

Which means if you are hyper creative your inability to remain excited about a project once you get part way into it, is not simply because you are lazy, have no stick-to-it-ness, or just don’t care. Part of your brain is hardwired to want to spend all it’s time just creating those new brilliant ideas that get you so stoked up. [this is so me!]

ME: I fall in love with projects, work so hard for so long, but then my mind wants to jump to something different. I have numerous books & book ideas that have been started; I have so much research on so many varying topics; I have a screenplay I wrote and created visually; I have numerous children’s books that I wrote and did the artwork for; I have brainstormed and created layouts for a children’s museum; I have entered contests; I have also created business proposals for a variety of business ideas, marketing campaigns, blogs, web sites… The list goes on and on. This doesn’t even include all the books I begin reading on so many different topics & some I finish and some are still waiting.

As I read some articles on the hyper creative mind they keep saying: And if you remember anything…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. I smile to myself and find some VERY needed explanations for the years of feeling like I cannot focus & the frustration that accompanies those feelings. In each article I read examples of this “hyper-creative mind” and I keep saying to myself, “that is me!!” This is a very big AHA for me. Thank God. There is hope. smile. smile. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

For me personally, I have definitely had some internal battles and misdirections from one project to another, so nothing gets completed and I am emotionally depleted.

istockphoto-868532948-612x612 I just came across this great analogy on girlbosstips :

I read a really cool analogy about a rose bush that I want to share with you. As a rose bush grows, it buds off more than it can sustain. You must prune rose bushes to maintain the appearance. If you don’t, the bush will eventually exhaust and die. There is only so much nutrients that can go around. If the bush just keeps on shooting out new buds and nothing is done to control it, then the result will be a negative one.

Like the rose bush, it is natural for you to have new ideas pop up into your head. And it is super cool when that happens. But, to allow yourself to have the energy, drive and excitement we sometimes have to prune the ideas. What I want you to take away from the prune analogy is that we sometimes need to remove and clean up our ideas to help ourselves be sustainable in our business / studies / careers /life.

ASK YOURSELF

Which ideas do I have TIME to focus on right now. You may have an app idea, or a novel playing on your mind, or a song you want to write, or…so many ideas may swirl and pop in trying to grab your attention. Ask yourself, What do I truly have time to focus on considering my other responsibilities.

How can I create more FOCUS? You need to truly focus in on one idea at a time and ask further questions that will help you see if it is worth your time and focus. Is the idea exciting? Do you feel a real connection & why? Is it something that is waking you up early in the morning to work on? Do you feel energized by it? Think and ponder an idea to see if the excitement grows or begins to fade. This is your life…your time…the idea needs to light you up, not just grab your attention.

Do you feel committed? For a hyper creative mind it is very easy to get distracted, fall in love with another idea, shelf something, get busy with life…When a project comes along that does light you up, you need to begin to act and then see if you feel deep within you a real commitment. Does your heart continue to light up? This is your life, so begin now to notice the distractions, look at the varying levels of commitment and begin to go within and ask yourself deeply what projects could you truly be committed to and one-by-one bring them to life. If you have so many side projects that are just daily distractions, begin to eliminate them one-by-one and say thank you, but no, my time is too precious. Find those projects that truly light you up & you could spend hours and hours getting lost in the creation.

Do deadlines or milestones work for you? For me personally, I struggle holding up an accountability card if no one else is involved. What about you? Having a visual deadline date on your calendar, would that work for you? Maybe if you treated yourself to a special weekend getaway if you finish a specific project?? [while I am typing this I am feeling like this could be something that appeals to me ;]

A couple more GOOD TOOLS

Having so many great ideas but being unable to apply them in a way that leads to the success you crave can be more than frustrating – it can be hugely depressing. -KarenDaniels

Here is an exercise from Karen Daniels work on finding your goal as a hypercreative-–What your goal is not: Your goal should NOT be to learn how to put a stopper on your creative flow so you can fit in, learn to love the details and get things done. So please, stop trashing yourself for being something you are not.

What your goal is: Your goal SHOULD be to learn how to harness your ideas in ways that allow you to better distinguish the ideas with more potential for your life and how to follow through in ways that will vastly improve your success, both personally and professionally.

How? You are going to sit down, right now, and create what you can think of as your hypercreative filter. This will be 3 core questions through which you will run all your ideas to see if that idea is going to help, or hinder, your forward progress to the life and business you want. To get to your core questions, I want you to sit down right now and think about some adjectives that describe how you would like to feel such as…fantastic, cheerful, lively, perfect, calm, wonderful, enchanting, funny, joyous, delightful, comfortable, pleasant, elated, amused, splendid, thankful…

READ THE REST OF HER ARTICLE. IT IS A GREAT TOOL Here is the rest of her article with additional details on this exercise https://karendaniels.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/How-to-Harness-Your-Hypercreativity-for-Success.pdf

ANOTHER GOOD ARTICLE that has some good information about the hypercreative mind http://artistmyth.com/hypercreative-know-one/

A few tips from this article: Hypercreatives, due to their sensitive nature, might become vulnerable to negative emotional states such as cynicism, apathy, depression, and frustration. This might even lead to negative physical states as well.

Another tendency for many hypercreatives to overcome is abandoning their current project or idea when another newer idea comes along. They need the diligence and discipline to be able to focus and maximize their efforts in order to accomplish their creative goals. This can be especially difficult when challenges come up, therefore problem solving skills are also an essential trait of successful hypercreatives.

depositphotos_51475035-stock-illustration-we-believe-that-creative-people

Best wishes in all you do. May you find your calm.

Peace. Love and Light to you today. -H

Stay FREE

Published on August 1, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Is there such a thing as Social Media FREE??? I have seen the problems with people getting lost in the sea of comparisons, feelings of being left out, the time it seems to steal, marriages that have been broken, the addiction…so I have elected to NOT play in the social media field. Do I feel I am missing out??? I don’t think so, but everyone has their own opinion. I invite you to read the following stats and make your own.

TO BE or NOT TO BE

My daughter has never been one to join the crowds and didn’t want a phone or anything that would associate her with the “typical teen.” We basically had to force her to have a phone when she went to her first home-away camp last year. She is now sixteen and still just uses her phone to text, call or play puzzle apps. She is not the typical teen.

I know teens are glued to their phones on snapchat, instagram…but while my daughter was on a two-week trip to Hawaii with complete strangers that were all teens, she was teased that she doesn’t do social media. None of the teens could believe it.

My daughter works at our local aquarium & the majority of her coworkers are college graduates or in their early twenties. She has been asked by many of them to join social media group chats & she tells them she doesn’t do social media. Many of them have told her how smart that is & expressed that is why she must be so happy. They have all told her to avoid it. That says something! If anything, it gave my daughter a reply to the teens she was being badgered by. My daughter stood her ground and expressed how she doesn’t need it and would rather not have that distraction in her life.

You go girl!!

THE ISSUES:

FOMO “Fear of Missing Out” is a HUGE draw to the social media world.

Social media addiction is a growing phenomenon not only in the United States but worldwide. The average person spends nearly 2 hours a day using social media, which amounts to 5 years and 4 months of his/her lifetime. In that time a person could run more than 10,000 marathons or travel to the moon and back on 32 separate occasions. For teens, social media time spent could be up to 9 hours every day [mediakix]

95 million photos are uploaded to Instagram a day. WOW!! That is a lot of facetime!

There are 175 billion pins on Pinterest.That’s about 25 pins for every man, woman and child, young and old on the entire planet. (Marketing Land)

Every second, more than 500 hours of video is added to YouTube.

90% of drivers admit to using smartphones behind the wheel. Of those respondents, 50% reportedly use their smartphones to check social media. SCARY.

According to the University of Chicago, social media is more addicting than cigarettes.

Does Social Media Cause Depression?
Studies show that users with “heavy use” of social media have between a 13% and 66% higher chance of being depressed. This could be due to the lack of “real-life” relationships users are making. The online relationship doesn’t have the same emotional satisfaction that you can get with real-life relationships. [creditdonkey]

TEENS & SOCIAL MEDIA: I just pulled up a statistic on teens and social media & it said nine out of ten use social media—that is 90%

A 2018 study found that teens who spend 5 hours per day using their phones were almost twice as likely to exhibit depressive symptoms than counterparts who dedicated only 1 hour on their phones. Interestingly, the relationship between excessive mobile use and depression appears to be strongly linked to gender, with 58% more females than males experiencing depressive symptoms. [mediakix]

If prolonged exposure to screens wasn’t bad enough for people’s sleep, social media addictions are making it even harder for people to get a good night’s sleep. 45% of people check social media instead of sleeping, and roughly 10% of teens check their phones more than 10 times per night. [mediakix]

“Social media addiction is a mental health problem… Excessive usage [is] linked to relationship problems, worse academic achievement and less participation in offline communities.” –BBC

“The American Academy of Pediatrics has warned about the potential for negative effects of social media in young kids and teens, including cyber-bullying.” –Forbes

“Survey results found that Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image and loneliness.” –Child Mind Institute

“Too much passive use of social media – just browsing posts – can be unhealthy and has been linked to feelings of envy, inadequacy and less satisfaction with life. Studies have even suggested that it can lead to ADHD symptoms, depression, anxiety and sleep deprivation. ” –UNICEF

KEEP OUR KIDS SAFE—

Here is a link to some pretty crazy statistics https://www.guardchild.com/social-media-statistics-2/

like 55% of teens have given out personal information like photos or descriptions online to someone they don’t know. WHAT!! That is terrifying.

60% have created profiles or personal sites.

GOOD TIPS

How Much Time Should You Spend On Social Media A Day?
Experts suggest limiting your social media use to just 30 minutes per day for the least amount of mental health side effects as a result of too much social media use.[creditdonkey]

Good article on the good and bad of social media https://smartsocial.com/negative-effects-of-social-media/

I hope this post has sparked some thought on social media awareness.

Happy day to you. -H