Are you important?

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“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”  -Paul Coelho, The Alchemist

I pulled into a local supermarket and as I parked a young girl in her twenties approached the car next to me. I noticed she was in tears, I rolled down my window and asked her if she was okay, she hysterically responded about her boyfriend and how terrible he was to her.

Just then two elderly people (her grandparents) approached her and tried to calm her down. They were not exactly calm themselves. I patiently watched and noticed a small boy in the back seat. I continued to watch the situation, wondering what I could do. The couple noticed that I was concerned and began to share a few details. I listened and slowly got out of my vehicle to help. Many thoughts ran through my head as I surveyed my vehicle looking for anything that may help the situation.

I looked over at the young girl who continued to cry and I said, “You are beautiful, things will work out. Everything happens for a reason.” She graciously said thank you. The grandmother jumped in, “That is her problem, she is too pretty.” My heart sank and a deeper understanding filled me.  I shuffled through my purse looking for a business card and handed it to the young girl and told her to call me anytime for anything.  The older woman looked at me and said, “Are you important or something?” I was taken back, “No, I just like to help people. So please call me if you need a ride, help with your little boy, anything.”

I could tell the situation was calming down, so I left it at that. They were all very gracious.

When I walked away I thought about the comment, “Are you important or something.” The small gesture of giving someone a business card seemed to be a symbol of self-worth in this woman’s mind. I tried to put myself in the perspective of someone dealing with someone’s pain, trying to help her grand child, yet seemingly misunderstanding the deeper worth of a soul.

We often do not see our own value or personal worth, we see job titles, material trophies, the paths that seem to be lit with a seemingly brighter light. We wish and hope for more, thinking that it will help us feel better about our lives.

We forget that we are divine. We forget that we need to go through tough experiences that will bring us closer to our spirit, our inner joy and connection. We forget that we are given everything we need, we arrive happy, but it is our choice what we do with that happiness. Do we nurture it through self-love, giving and gratitude or do we starve it by seeking happiness outside of us??

Ask yourself…Are you important? How do you feel when you ask yourself that question?

Do you look at your life and feel worth (you feel you are moving in a direction to be your personal best, to have a worthwhile life) or do you feel weighed down by life (things seem to be an energy drain, you feel heavy and unfulfilled).

During this month of February, I urge you to take the time to step back and evaluate where you are on a personal level. Do you feel love toward yourself?

Here is a simple exercise to get your feelings flowing… Mirror Mirror

Precious jewel, you glow, you shine, reflecting all the GOOD things in the world. -Maya Angelou

1. Take this work seriously. You could easily just walk away and avoid your feelings for fear of what you will face. Do not walk away from this activity. Take this seriously.

2. Be honest with your feelings.

3. You can use a full body mirror, a wall mirror or a hand mirror for this activity.

4. When you talk to yourself, make sure you look into your eyes. There is a needed connection on a deeper level.

5. Look yourself in the eyes and say, “I love you”

Write down any thoughts and feelings. Be honest. This may be very hard for you to do, so look within for any thoughts or feelings that will help you with the inner work you need to do. (ie maybe you do not like how heavy you look, so you have a hard time looking at yourself…notice these feelings)

6. Ask yourself, “What do you see?”

Write down any thoughts and feelings.

7. Ask yourself, “Who are you?”

Write down any thoughts and feelings.

8. Then say, “I love you just as you are.”

Write down any immediate thoughts or feelings.

9. Finish with, “I deserve love.”

Write down any thoughts and feelings.

10. How do you feel? Did any surprising emotions or thoughts come up for you?? Did you cry? Were you honest with your thoughts and feelings?

Make sure you take the time to journal any thoughts or feelings that came up for you. You may need to work on processing your feelings through self love, acceptance or forgiveness. You may need to go deeper to understand why you had these feelings and explore the reasons.

If you did not have any thoughts or feelings…make the statements again. Look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself, “I love you.” Sit with this statement and repeat it if necessary until you have a reaction of any kind.

If you had loving personal thoughts, embrace these warm feelings and see their strength and beauty.

If you had a mix of loving and hurtful thoughts, embrace the good and seek understanding with the rest.

Nurture and love yourself through this process.

Lots of love to you.   -Heather

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Put a little LOVE in all you do.

Image“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.” – Tom Hanks, Sleepless In Seattle

Sticking with the theme of LOVE for the upcoming, grand occasion of Valentines, I have put together some tiny things that we do around our house to show our LOVE. Hope these ideas spark other little ideas to spread love in all you do.

Keep them cuddly: warm up robes and towels when they get out of the bath or shower. Throw a cozy blanket in the dryer when someone just needs to be bundled.

Do something sweet: write a little note (on the napkin or a tiny card) for someone’s lunch–add a fun joke, a sweet treat they will enjoy or a tiny surprise that is unexpected.

Hand writing: When my little girl is nervous about something at school, I draw a heart on her hand to remind her that my love will always be with her.

Hearts & flowers: We are big Dasani bottle drinkers (don’t worry we recycle!) so I write messages on my families water bottles…hearts, flowers, their names, love notes, feel betters, etc.

Dedications: Dedicate a song while you are driving or buy a special song that reminds you of someone you love and share it with them.  (Some good ideas off the top of my head: Bruno Mars “Just the way you are”  Rihanna “We found Love”  Christina Perri “A Thousand Years”   Usher “Without You”   Harry Connick Jr ” We are in Love”   Train “Marry Me”   Colbie Caillat “I do”   Joy Williams “Charmed Life”)

Sign Language: Have a fun personal language that you share with each other. Our family does XO with our fingers or signs I Love You or infiniti hearts, you get the idea. Make your own and make it yours. The love will follow.

Nicknames: Have fun, loving nick names that you call one another.

Make food with love: blow kisses into the meals you make, make heart pancakes, heart shaped brownies, swirl your soup in heart shapes.

Basic Care: make them take their vitamins, drink lots of water and wear their seat belt. It is the funniest thing to watch my parents fight over taking their vitamins, but my Dad simply looks at my mom and says, it’s because I love you. Who can argue with that!

Love Notes: leave little notes of love and appreciation anytime and everywhere. Leave them on the bathroom mirror, the car window, computer screen, under a pillow, etc. A cute text says you care. A fun note taped to their toothbrush that says, you make me smile=LOVE.

Pray and give thanks: pray always with a grateful heart for the little things you receive every day…for running water, for good health, that your child made it home from school, that your husband has a job, that you can run, walk, see the blue sky.

Thank you: Write a nice note on the envelopes of your bills, or on an email to your service providers thanking them for the services you receive. Thank them that you have power, heat, the Disney channel!! smile. smile.

Affection: ALWAYS give hugs and kisses, special rendezvous and intimate getaways

Surround your family with good things: Having beautiful things around helps your heart sing. Your heart=LOVE. Have pretty music playing, buy a beautiful bouquet of flowers, have inspiring quotes posted throughout the house, allow lots of light in through the windows

Quality time: I can’t stress this enough!! Go on walks, have reading time together, play games and talk.

Connect: Everyone needs to feel connection in their life, so our relationships are key. Take the time to connect. I am going to include some good Q& A topics to discuss with those you love:

Connect Questions for the one you LOVE:

1. What is something that makes you feel good about yourself?

2. What are 5 things you want to do in your life?

3. Has there ever been anything you were afraid to do? How did you handle it?

4. Some of your favorite things?

5. What trait do you feel people like most about you?

6. Do you feel it is easy to make friends? Do you feel you have good friends?

7. Do you feel you like to be social or would rather be home? 

8. What is a truly great memory for you?

9. What does perfect mean to you?

10. What is a favorite gift you have received?

11. What would you like to do more of every day?

12. Answer this…I am happy when…

13. What do you love about your family?

14. What do you love most about your relationship?

15. Think of a tough time in your life…what did you learn from it?

16. Is there anything you worry about?

17. What do you desire most out of our relationship? (good things, things to work on)

18. If you could do anything, what would it be?

19. What is one thing you would change about your life? 

20. What would be your ideal Valentines day?

Connect Questions for you to ask your Kids:

1. What is your happiest memory? 

2. Why do you like being a kid? 

3. One word to describe you would be _______. 

4. What advice would you give your parents? 

5. If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? 

6. What do you like to do for fun? 

7. Tell about a funny time in your life. 

8. What is your favorite thing to do? Why? 

9. What is your favorite thing to do with your friends? 

10. What do you love most about your sibling (or being an only child)? 

11. What was the nicest thing you did for someone? 

12. What do you think you will be doing 10 years from now? 

13. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? the winter?

14. What would be the ideal allowance? Tell me how you would use it. 

15. What do you think makes a person good-looking? 

16. Name two things we should do as a family on the weekend. 

17. What is the grossest thing you can think of?

18. What is something you love about your mom and dad?

19. What is your favorite vacation we have been on?

20. What are 5 things you would like to do by the time you are married? (or in your life)

Well, I hope these tiny ideas have inspired you to think of little things you can do to spread the love in your world.

Lots of LOVE to you and yours.    -Heather