I laugh thinking about my husbands weekly wish lists and meanderings, his seemingly constant comments whirl me into a confusion of his wants and needs. He wants to…move away from winter to sunny southern Utah, then its southern California, then Idaho in the summer. We’ll buy, we’ll sell, we’ll rent, we’ll buy dishes like that when we win the HGTV dream home. He makes me laugh and smile at every turn. I can’t keep up. But even after 19 years of marriage and 14+ moves to Idaho, Arizona, Oregon and back to Utah, I am still a little vague on what would be his ideal.
I understand life is an ever changing canvas and that is the beauty life has to offer…so many colors, choices, kitchens, places to live…
So this new January I ask, What is your ideal life?? Are you satisfied with all that you have? Is it enough? What do you love about your life? Does your life seem to energize or drain? Your life truly is your inspiration, so what is it saying to you right now?
Let’s look at some different areas of your life so you can get a feel for what you need, love and desire for your ideal life…
Take a minute to get some clarity. Say a prayer to help guide the feelings you have within. Your feelings will help guide you to your ideal life, the life you need, the life you are meant to live.
“everything in life responds to the song of the heart.” -Ernest Holmes
Let’s look at the different areas. Look at the ideas and see if any of them resonate with you. Ask yourself if it is something you need, something you desire, etc. Does it excite or ignite you? Do you want to skip it all together? Take notice of what your heart is saying. Don’t limit your ideas or needs, there may be something that is not listed that you feel you need–take a note. Listen within for personal clarity and direction.
MIND. BODY. SPIRIT
Personal Time: do you need to have more quiet time, a retreat, more self-care?
Personal Interests: Do you have a hobby you love, but not enough time to do it? Have you made time or desire creativity of some kind? Do you need time to play? Do you want to serve someone else each week or volunteer for some organization? Is there something you have been desiring to do? What is it? How can you make the time to do it?
Learning and growth: Are you interested in taking a class? reading a book? getting a mentor to help you with some area of your life? Want to learn something online? Listen to a podcast?
Good things for your spirit: Do you want to begin taking a yoga class? Do you need to pray? Meditate? Go on a walk? Get out in nature? Listen to good music? More time to nap?
Health: Do you need to eat better? Begin an exercise routine? Drink more water? Do things that will reduce your stress? Find ways to get better sleep? Take nutritional supplements?
Personal Space: do you have time for just you? Do you have a place in your home where you can go and just be or do something you enjoy? Do you know when to say “when”?
Gratitude: Do you need to keep a gratitude journal? Are you noticing gifts given to you each day? Are you saying thank you? Are you appreciating the little things that are good?
Attitude check: How is your attitude? Do you need to create some personal affirmations that you share each day? How are you talking to yourself? Are you being loving to you?
Self-care: Do you need to take the time to get your hair done or get a mani-pedi? Do you look in the mirror and like what you see? Do you have stress and need a massage? Are you happy with your style? What do you feel you are lacking in taking care of you?
Environment: Do a feel good check. Does your environment(s) stress or sing to your soul? Do you need to paint the walls a soothing color? Do you need things to be clutter free? Do you feel like you have too much stuff and need to dejunk? Do you need to simplify?
Hopes and Dreams: Are there places you want to go? Things you want to do? Something you want to try? What do you look forward to? What do you hope will happen in your life? Make a list and try to find a way to baby step your way dream by dream.
Together time: Do you need and want to make the time to have meals together? Do you want to set aside time each month to take each of your children out on a special date? Do you want to have special days where you plan family activities? Do you need a family vacation? Do you want to get your family involved in local events and activities?
Traditions and Rituals: Do you need to create family rituals? What do you have in mind? Do you need to have time for family prayer? Do you need more play & less routine?
Slowing down: Do you need family quiet time? Do you need to play pretty music to calm everyone down? Do you need to have time for family walks? Do you need to disconnect with technology—limit television, video games, computer, etc? Do you need to do less running around? Do you need to have your kids focus on one extra activity instead of 3?
Communication: Do you need to connect more with your family? Do you and your spouse take the time to talk about everything? Do you need to take more one-on-one time with each person in your family? Do you need more time to talk about the highlights from the day?
Loving boundaries: Do you need to create boundaries for the kids (curfews, phones, gaming, friends, etc), Do you need to create boundaries with your friends? Do you need to create loving boundaries for in-laws or other nearby relatives? Do you need to talk to your spouse about what you both need from one another? What you need from your kids?
Organization: Do you feel unorganized? Are things too cluttered for you? What do you need to feel more organized? Do you need a trip to IKEA? Do you need to dejunk?
Re-vamp: Do you need to re-vamp and fix up your home a little? Do you need new paint, fixtures, lightbulbs, door knobs, window coverings, a better mattress, etc.
Spring Clean: Do you need to freshen things up throughout your home? Maybe begin to save and have a carpet cleaning budget, paint touch-ups, re-caulk, fix minor damages and give your home a thorough clean, so everything is smelling fresh.
Is everything in working order: Maybe you need to checklist this out to make sure everything is in working order. Do you haven any broken windows, faucets, cabinets, drawers, disposals, etc. Make a plan and create a budget to fix what needs to be done.
Garage & Tools: Do you leave the house and feel overwhelmed when you look at the disarray of your garage? Does everything seem to have a place? Does it need a fresh coat of paint or a deep power wash? Do you have enough garbage/recycling cans? Do you have enough outdoor storage? Is everything labeled, so you feel more organized?
Learn something to inspire you: Do you desire to learn the art of Feng Shui? Do you want to learn about the power of color and how it plays throughout your home?
Find your style: Do you notice a color palette running through your home? Is it calming or do you feel you don’t have any style or pattern? To help find styles you like or are drawn to get a bunch of magazines (store or thrift store) that are home themed. Take some time and flip through the pages and select any image that you are drawn to. You will notice a theme of colors, styles and designs that you may enjoy in your home. Then try changing out pillows, adding a new paint color to a wall, buy a picture that you are drawn to, move around furniture and have fun with the new ideas. Enjoy the process.
What do you need: Is there something specific you are needing from your relationship? Do you need a weekly date (at least)? Do you need to hold hands? Love notes, affection? Do celebrations mean a lot to you? Do you know your love languages? How is your intimacy?
What needs some attention: Do you need more one-on-one time? Better communication? Do your financial pressures affect your relationship? What do you each need on a personal level? Are you a priority to one another?
What can you work on together: Are you communicating your needs? Are you working through challenges with kids together? Are you lifting and building one another through praise and appreciation? Do you need help dealing with anger or addictions? Are you doing anything to nurture your spirituality together? Do you remember the golden rule and think about the other’s needs? Are you leaving a positive or negative legacy for your family?
Are your enjoying what you do: Do you get excited or dread going to work? Do you feel drained or creative when you are working? Are you in it for the money? Do you need to shake things up and do something different? (change dept, go after a promotion, have you tapped out at the top, do you need something different)
Your Power Tools: You shine when you are doing something that you are good at, something you enjoy, something that taps into your natural gifts and talents.
Your Passion: Where does your passion lie? Is there something you desire to do or try? What do you enjoy doing in your free time? (this is often a area that you crave & have passion for)
Invest in your best asset: YOU! You are your best asset, so you need to be constantly investing in your skills, learning new things and challenging yourself. Do you want to take a class? What would it be in? Is there a specific book you want to read? Is there a topic you want to learn about?
Where are you financially: Do you need to save, get out of debt or downsize?
What will help you create a financial plan: Do you need to make a budget? Do you need to visit with an advisor? Do you need to contact credit card companies to lower your rates? Do you need to refinance your home? Do you need to get a book or program about planning?
Your financial future: Do you need to learn about investing? What about your 401K? Do you need to learn what is the best way to save for the future or for college funds, etc?
How are your friendships: Do you have any friends that drain your energy? Re-think your friendships with people who are energy drains. Are your spending quality time with good friends? Do you need to plan a weekend or annual getaway with your friends? Do you need a weekly or monthly girls night out? Are your friends lifting and building one another or does it seem to be toxic in any way? Are you always gossiping? Do you leave energized?
Do you feel you need friends or support: Do you need to attend a local church group to connect with others? Do you need to reach out and find a service organization that you can help out? Do you need to volunteer at your child’s school? Are there any community activities that sound fun and get you excited to join?
Feel within and follow your heart to seek what it is that you truly need to create your ideal life. I would love to hear any thoughts or comments about what you feel would add to anyone’s life. Thanks for your support. Cheers to your good life!!
Have a beautiful day! Heather
We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder
The fragility of life seems to be ringing all around me. The many things we seemingly take for granted…so many sobering stories hit me with such a need to be grateful for every little detailed gift we receive each day. We don’t think about hugging our kids, or kissing them in their bed & not a hospital bed. We don’t think about the gift of strong knees that can run or a happy outlook that keeps our day filled with joy.
These are the stories that have been ringing in my ear the last couple of days. Maybe they will help you stop for a moment and ponder the many blessings we take for granted…
Friends and neighbors were all praying, cheering, texting and conveying their need and support for Justin Bieber to visit a local seven-year-old girl who is struggling with her third round of Leukemia. Everyone waited in anticipation to receive a picture of Justin with this little girl in the hospital the night of his concert. Thank you Justin! It was a very sobering thought looking at this little girl with sunken eyes, dark circles, life slowly drifting away and thinking about what her mother must be going through in trying to give comfort, hope and faith for her daughter’s young life. I wondered how I would handle my nine-year-old grappling with such an illness. I thank God for my healthy daughter and send prayers of hope to this young family.
The very next day I heard another story about a woman with two young children who had got a babysitter to go on a bike ride one afternoon with her husband. She had a small bike wreck, her helmet had a dent the size of an orange, that left her paralyzed from the neck down. I instantly thought of the heartache you would feel not being able to hug your children, to wrap your arms around your husband, to skip down a path with your little ones, to make them breakfast, to hold a book and read them stories. My heart broke for this women, for the very thought of what she could and could not do, the depression she would deal with, the moments where you would miss your life while striving to embrace your new existence. How hard it must be to embrace an existence that leaves you immobile, fragile, feeling worthless and unable to do so many things. I can’t imagine. I pray for her family.
Then, if that was not enough heartache, my little neighbor came over and shared a story about a funeral she had just been to. It was for a mother of six children who had gone in for knee surgery. She returned home. One day she began to feel ill, yelled to her son to get his father. She looked at her husband and told him she felt like she was dying and passed out. She had a blood clot get into her lungs and she was gone. The family was left to miss her.
You just never know when or how or what will be your time. These stories shook me to my core and in sharing them I hope they give you a moment of sobering existence into the charmed life you have at this moment. Embrace your children, kiss your loved ones, dance in the kitchen, go outside, sing, smell the fresh air, breathe, yell, play, live your life to its best. Take each moment and cherish it, find every happiness possible in the little things that make life big!
Live your best day!! your best moment!
God bless these families in all they do. -Heather
Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live. ~Attributed to Jacqueline Winspear
It’s the new year and every gym is busier than ever, so I thought this would be a good topic to talk about because it hits home with me. You always hear the benefits of exercise, but I am here to attest to the benefits it has on depression.
My husband has had swinging bouts with depression to a point where it almost ended his life & would have altered mine and my little girls forever. We struggled to find a solution that did not involve pills or long visits at a psych office, so he began working out. He began to feel better and even signed up and competed in numerous triathlons. It seems to be his magic, natural cure for the darkness. It brings out the hope of feeling good, the light that helps him deal with the stresses of life. I can literally see and feel a difference in him when he has not worked out for a week, his attitude, his irritability begin to creep in & I remind him gently that he needs to work out to feel better.
If you or someone you love struggles with depression or even a bad day, get them moving, get them doing something that will trigger the good chemicals in their body. I promise it will help.
Here are some good tips that I pulled from the Mayo clinic to help…
Try a happy hour to your health!
Depression and anxiety: Exercise eases symptoms
If you have depression or anxiety, you might find your doctor prescribing a regular dose of exercise in addition to medication or psychotherapy. Exercise isn’t a cure for depression or anxiety. But its psychological and physical benefits can improve your symptoms.
“It’s not a magic bullet, but increasing physical activity is a positive and active strategy to help manage depression and anxiety,” says Kristin Vickers-Douglas, Ph.D., a psychologist at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
When you have depression or anxiety, exercising may be the last thing you think you can do. But you can overcome the inertia. Here’s a look at how exercise can ease symptoms of depression and anxiety. Plus, get realistic tips to get started and stick with exercising.
How exercise helps depression and anxiety
Exercise has long been touted as a way to maintain physical fitness and help prevent high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and other diseases. A growing volume of research shows that exercise also can help improve symptoms of certain mental conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Exercise also may help prevent a relapse after treatment for depression or anxiety.
Research suggests that it may take at least 30 minutes of exercise a day for at least three to five days a week to significantly improve symptoms of depression. However, smaller amounts of activity — as little as 10 to 15 minutes at a time — have been shown to improve mood in the short term. “So, small bouts of exercise may be a great way to get started if it’s initially too difficult to do more,” Dr. Vickers-Douglas says.
Just how exercise reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety isn’t fully understood. Researchers believe that exercise prompts changes in both mind and body.
Some evidence suggests that exercise postively affects the levels of certain mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain. Exercise may also boost feel-good endorphins, release tension in muscles, help you sleep better and reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol. It also increases body temperature, which may have calming effects. All of these changes in your mind and body can improve such symptoms as sadness, anxiety, irritability, stress, fatigue, anger, self-doubt and hopelessness.
If you exercise regularly but depression or anxiety still impairs your daily functioning, seek professional help. Exercise isn’t meant to replace medical treatment of depression or anxiety.
The benefits of exercise for depression and anxiety
Exercise has numerous psychological and emotional benefits when you have depression or anxiety. These include:
Confidence. Engaging in physical activity offers a sense of accomplishment. Meeting goals or challenges, no matter how small, can boost self-confidence at times when you need it most. Exercise also can make you feel better about your appearance and your self-worth.
Distraction. When you have depression or anxiety, it’s easy to dwell on how badly you feel. But dwelling interferes with your ability to problem solve and cope in a healthy way. Dwelling also can make depression more severe and longer lasting. Exercise can provide a good distraction. It shifts the focus away from unpleasant thoughts to something more pleasant, such as your surroundings or the music you enjoy listening to while you exercise.
Interactions. Depression and anxiety can lead to isolation. That, in turn, can worsen your condition. Exercising can create opportunities to interact with others, even if it’s just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you walk around your neighborhood.
Healthy coping. Doing something beneficial to manage depression or anxiety is a positive coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol excessively, dwelling on how badly you feel, or hoping depression and anxiety will go away on their own aren’t helpful coping strategies.
Tips to start exercising when you have depression or anxiety
Of course, knowing that something’s good for you doesn’t make it easier to actually do it. With depression or anxiety, you may have a hard enough time just doing the dishes, showering or going to work. How can you possibly consider getting in some exercise?
Here are some steps that can help you exercise when you have depression or anxiety:
Get your doctor’s support. Some, but not all, mental health professionals have adopted exercise as a part of their treatment suggestions. Talk to your doctor or therapist for guidance and support. Discuss concerns about an exercise program and how it fits into your overall treatment plan.
Identify what you enjoy doing. Figure out what type of exercise or activities you’re most likely to do. And think about when and how you’d be most likely to follow through. For instance, would you be more likely to do some gardening in the evening or go for a jog in the pre-dawn hours? Go for a walk in the woods or play basketball with your children after school?
Set reasonable goals. Your mission doesn’t have to be walking for an hour five days a week. Think about what you may be able to do in reality. Twenty minutes? Ten minutes? Start there and build up. Custom-tailor your plan to your own needs and abilities rather than trying to meet idealistic guidelines that could just add to your pressure.
Don’t think of exercise as a burden. If exercise is just another “should” in your life that you don’t think you’re living up to, you’ll associate it with failure. Rather, look at your exercise schedule the same way you look at your therapy sessions or antidepressant medication — as one of the tools to help you get better.
Address your barriers. Identify your individual barriers to exercising. If you feel intimidated by others or are self-conscious, for instance, you may want to exercise in the privacy of your own home. If you stick to goals better with a partner, find a friend to work out with. If you don’t have extra money to spend on exercise gear, do something that is virtually cost-free — walk. If you think about what’s stopping you from exercising, you can probably find an alternative solution.
Prepare for setbacks and obstacles. Exercise isn’t always easy or fun. And it’s tempting to blame yourself for that. People with depression are especially likely to feel shame over perceived failures. Don’t fall into that trap. Give yourself credit for every step in the right direction, no matter how small. If you skip exercise one day, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure and may as well quit entirely. Just try again the next day.
Sticking with exercise when you have depression or anxiety
Launching an exercise program is hard. Sticking with it can be even harder. One key is problem solving your way through when it seems like you can’t or don’t want to exercise.
“What would happen if you went out to your car and it wouldn’t start?” Dr. Vickers-Douglas asks. “You’d probably be able to very quickly list several strategies for dealing with that barrier, such as calling an auto service, taking the bus, or calling your spouse or friend for help. You instantly start problem solving.”
But most people don’t approach exercise that way. What happens if you want to go for a walk but it’s raining? Most people decide against the walk and don’t even try to explore alternatives. “With exercise, we often hit a barrier and say, ‘That’s it. I can’t do it, forget it,’” Dr. Vickers-Douglas says.
Instead, problem solve your way through the exercise barrier, just as you would other obstacles in your life. Figure out your options — walking in the rain, going to a gym, exercising indoors, for instance.
“Some people have the idea that being physically active is supposed to be easy and natural,” Dr. Vickers-Douglas says. “Some think of it as just having enough willpower. But that really oversimplifies it and can make us feel like failures. You can’t just rely on willpower. Identify your strengths and skills and apply those to exercise.”
-Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr
“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” -Plato
As an adult you don’t play, besides the momentarily lapse between your child and her imaginary friends. To play as an adult to many is to lose credibility, to be…an “immature adult”, “someone who can’t be serious”, “someone who doesn’t take LIFE seriously.”
BUT, I recently read an article on the need to play…not just as children, but as adults. You need the spontaneity of choice, the thrill of being childlike, the freedom to let go of the stresses in your life. I am not by any means suggesting that you throw caution to the wind and rid yourself of all adult responsibility, but I am suggesting to let go of your adult ego (even for brief periods of time) and free your child within.
Did you know there is even a National Institute For Play (www.nifplay.org) and they stated the following on their site.
Play is the gateway to vitality.
By its nature it is uniquely and intrinsically rewarding. It generates optimism, seeks out novelty, makes perseverance fun, leads to mastery, gives the immune system a bounce, fosters empathy and promotes a sense of belonging and community. Each of these play by-products are indices of personal health, and their shortage predicts impending health problems and personal fragility.
Play is not just for children, it is necessary to have playful communication and interaction to
satisfy relationships, proactive work environments, stress relief and better personal health.
Play is powerful in connecting people with one another.
Science has shown how corporations who incorporate play into their environment become more successful.
Tips For Playing in Life:
-Do something that scares you
-Run through rain puddles, dance in the rain, walk in a down pour, enjoy the weather
-Dance under the stars
-Turn on some fun music and dance with your kids in the kitchen
-Pick up an old sport you loved when you were little…rollerblade, tennis, hike…
-Go skinnydipping in your pool or hot tub
-Look for free fun like local concerts, films, fairs, a swap meet
-Have a game night each week where you invite friends or family over
-Visit every baseball park you wanted to see when you were a kid
-Take on a new challenge…learn to finally play the piano, dabble in something new
-Sit in a cafe and watch people
-Embrace the simple things
-Dont worry about what someone else will think
-Release your childhood spirit…play
-Go play games at a local arcade, Climb a tree, Go indoor rock climbing, visit a zoo or aquarium, make a sandcastle, go sledding,Tap into your child within.
-Learn something new to you…the game of table tennis, chess, checkers, try parasailing, windsurfing, bodysurfing.
-Skip, like a little kid…one day I was listening to my iPod on my daily walking route. I was on a main street that all my neighbors drove home on. I was listening to a great song that made me want to move my body, I yearned to jump, to skip, to let the music play through me. For a moment I worried about who would see me, but I decided I didn’t care. I began to skip, I felt a surge of exhilaration, a feeling of letting go, a feeling of freedom from care of anyone watching me. I began to smile and skip even bigger, higher. I was free. The child within me soared, smiled and laughed all the way home. It was wonderful!!
Get creative…paint, sculpt, scrapbook, take pictures. Go to a movie alone. Go get a pedicure and have them paint your toes wild. Go to a nearby town that you have never explored. Find a local museum and enjoy the art. Go on a bike ride. Find a thrift store and buy something unexpected. Go to a garage sale or an antique shop. Go to a local garden and smell every variety of flower.
Some good hobbies that help you enjoy play while also combating stress: gardening, photography, scrapbooking, having a aquarium, puzzles, drawing, painting, knitting, playing the piano, writing, etc.
Another great way to play is to vacation. This is a very underused time to play!! People feel guilty for leaving work & taking time for themselves, but you need to look at it as an investment in yourself, your health and happiness.
Another reason many people don’t vacation is because they feel they don’t have the time or money. A good remedy for this…staycation! Take a few days & stay home, laze around, have a pajama day, make fun food, read a good book, get creative and take the time to enjoy some PLAY time. Some Stay home time.
Have some fun…get outside of yourself and PLAY. It’s a new year to make some new changes that will improve your life.
Best wishes and lots of PLAY, Heather
Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.
I thought since I was talking about creativity & making vision boards that I should add some additional tips and tricks to get you moving in a NEW direction. There is a lot to be said about the creativity of the soul…
Here are some suggestions taken from an article 21 Ways to Be More Creative
by Christine Kane and some other good stuff by me!!
1 – Stop watching television
Or better yet, get rid of the damn thing. Any time I teach writing or creativity, this is one of the biggies. TV is a mind-killer. It numbs you. It fills you with emotionally-charged images and over-simplified solutions. It dulls you. Turn it off. Even if this idea scares you, turn it off.
2 – Take a 20-minute walk everyday
It’s easy to become driven about exercise. You go to the Y. You go running. You think that a 20-minute walk isn’t productive or worth much. Take a 20-minute walk and allow the world to just be. Watch things. Stop and smell things. Notice birds. Let the world unfold and show itself to you.
3 – Write with pen & paper (or pencil and paper)
Keep a journal. Do morning pages. Write in long-hand. Typing on a keypad into a computer doesn’t always open up that tactile sense-loving part of us that loves to create.
4 – Write songs to your pets
5 – Dance around the House
Put on old disco (Earth, Wind, and Fire, baby!), or new Madonna, or swing. Put it on loud. Dance
around your house while you make dinner. Or start the day shakin’ your groove thang.
6 – Walk in the rain
I haven’t owned an umbrella in about 10 years. I love the rain. I love walking in it. I wrote the song Everything Green after I hiked in the mountains in the pouring rain. I was journaling about how alive everything was, and I wrote “It was all just rain and mud and wild and green.” That’s how I got my CD title. Walking in the rain can be a happy thing. (Use an umbrella if you want. Rain on umbrellas makes a good sound.)
7 – Make a collage
Magazines. Some Yes Paste. A scrapbook page and lots of crayons and paints and stickers. (And thou.) This isn’t a vision board. It doesn’t have a purpose. It’s just for fun and beauty and making something. I love collaging. I’m not great at it. But I’ve gotten better and better at laying out the page and learning what colors and shapes I love. I always feel more alive when I do one.
8 – Make a list of things you love
My song Loving Hands (on my first CD) was born out of a journal exercise I did where I just wrote a long list of all the things I love. That song remains one of my most requested songs. I had so much fun thinking of things that delight me in the world. Finding feathers, finding pennies, the sound of big flags flapping in the wind, the smell of my cat’s fur when she’s been out in the snow (she smells like a big box of wool mittens). I remember reading it to a friend of mine who just sat there smiling and nodding his head. Even though this was years ago, I still remember how much fun I had making that list.
9 – Write 10 postcards
Go pick out some really cool postcards, and then go to a cafe somewhere, and order your Genmaicha Tea (Okay, get yourself a Latte if you want) and write postcards to friends and family.
10 – Get up early and watch the sun rise
11 – Listen to music you’ve never listened to before.
After I saw the movie Tortilla Soup, I downloaded a bunch of Latin music from iTunes. One of my favorite nights in my memory this year was a hot rainy night thick with humidity. My husband and I opened up all the windows and doors. We pressure cooked (I love our pressure cooker) some black beans, shared a froo-froo mixed drink and made a fantastic dinner while all of my new Latin and Tejano music was cranked up. It was one of those really happy nights, partly because I loved discovering new music.
12 – Eat with your hands
Be a kid again. Make a meal and put the silverware back into the drawers. Eat with your hands. Have some friends over for a silverwareless dinner.
13 – Be quiet
Light a few candles after dark and just sit. Don’t meditate if you don’t want to. Just sit quietly and listen. Watch the candles. Allow for more silence in your life.
We are a noisy people. I hear people say they can’t stand silence. But it is in silence where we can hear the voice of our creativity. Maybe not at first. But it will come.
Drive with no music on. Make dinner in silence. Pay attention to your hands as you slice the veggies. Just be quiet.
14 – Take a nap
15 – Take photos. Real photos. Not digital photos.
My favorite camera is a Pentax K1000. It’s completely manual, and it’s how I learned to take pictures. I’m not very good. When I first moved to Asheville, I used to walk around town on Sundays (the whole town was closed up then) and take pictures of all the buildings. These photos are now a treasure to me because nothing is the same anymore. (Every building has been bought, remodeled and now is filled with stores that sell trickly fountains, Buddahs, and things that smell grassy.)
Take pictures of anything. And have fun in the old method of actually getting your film developed and the excitement of flipping through photos you haven’t seen yet.
16 – Make an event out of watching the full moon come up
One of the things I love about my husband is that he’s always looking for the perfect place to watch the full moon come up. He’ll make an event out of it. We pile in the car and go to this one field or to a bench on the college campus and sit and watch the moon rise.
17 – Read poetry aloud
Poetry is meant to be read aloud. The words and phrases will tilt your brain and open doors like you never thought they would. My favorites: Mary Oliver, e.e. cummings, Rumi, Pablo Neruda, Sharon Olds, Barbara Brooks, and Alicia Suskin Ostriker. There are lots of collections of poetry if you don’t want to pick just one.
18 – Go see a play or live music or live anything
Get out of the house and experience creativity. Avoid mega-blockbuster-Hollywood movies whose trailers begin with the deep gravelly voice saying, “IN A WORLD_” (And then bombs go off and Mel Gibson appears)
Live performance is an exchange. As an audience member you get to participate. I know this because I perform. Every night is different. Everything is about the audience. You receive so much more energy from live shows. Go see the symphony, even the small local symphony. See a play. See some improv. There is so much life on a stage, so many improvisational moments, so much about authenticity. You can’t help but take it in.
19 – Visit a gallery
See another artist’s creation. The downtown of any city is bound to have some great galleries. You don’t have to buy anything. Just experience the artistry of someone gifted in glass blowing or pottery or woodwork.
20 – Write a letter
When was the last time you wrote a letter? I just got a long letter from one of the women who participated in my last retreat. It was funny. And it was fun to read. And I kept thinking, “Damn. It’s been too long since I’ve experienced this.” Every time I write a letter, I feel clearer and happier. Not only is it more fun to make something for someone else, it’s also just a way to get out of yourself.
21 – Stop watching television
This is an important one. It bears repeating. There are so many better things you can do than watch American Idol
IT IS A NEW YEAR! the energy, the timing, the need to organize, to begin again seems to play in the air. This year I had my little family sit down and create individual vision boards. Needless to say, they were very resistant and not very excited to begin such a creative process. I had to guilt my husband into the experience & my nine-year-old whined “noooo!” Yet, after begging and pleading, we all sat down and plowed through a large stack of a variety of magazines.
It was such a fun process to see my little girl get excited about all the animal pictures she could find. Rip, tear, cheers and big smiles, as she found pictures that resonated with her heart. She has always loved animals, but this year she made and sold bookmarks for the World Wildlife Fund, constantly makes wishes & prays for the animals safety, and whenever we visit a zoo gift shop she seeks out the stuffed animal that will make a donation to an animal cause. Her heart has been centered around giving & learning about animals, so it was fun to see her work for hours on a project that she ended up embracing and loving.
My husband sat quietly tearing, while I anxiously waited to see his creation. Every detail spoke of his innate loves—images of triathlons, cooking and flyfishing filled the board. His work has been very stressful, so it only made sense that his deep inner spirit yearns for play, for passion, for things he loves and enjoys.
My images ended up telling me of my need for change, adventure, my desire to be surrounded by nature, to travel, to be quiet.
I wouldn’t have pushed my family to do this activity if I didn’t whole-heartedly believe in the creative process of our subconscious minds. There is a magic, a knowing that seems to exist when we just allow our creative desires to come. The subconscious is a very powerful tool that we tend to overlook or think it may be a little “whoo-whoo.” There is so much that is unknown, something that no one talks about because of the unfamiliarity of the mere chance that someone will mis-interpret our view point or belief.
I have always thought about the depths and power of our mind, but never truly understood or experienced the potential guidance our subconscious holds. This is a great story that taps into how powerful the vision of your life truly is…
I was attending my first women’s retreat coach training in Colorado. There were about twenty women in attendance, none of whom I had ever met. For our first meeting together I was sitting near a beautiful, african-american women (the only one in the group). Our first assignment was to one by one got to a stack of pictures that were upside down on a nearby table, pick one and then sit down. I was curious to know what this had to do with retreating, but I followed along and selected my picture. None of us were to look at the images until everyone had chosen one. We were then broken into groups of five women and we each turned over our images. Well, before I turned my image over I sat in amazement as the beautiful women next to me had chosen a image of a african-american woman holding a small child. She got a little emotional and explained to me that she had one little daughter and the image touched her so. I was shocked by the seemingly beautiful magic that was happening. How else could this happen unless we have a innate, inner knowing of what our souls desire is–it longs to share a deep, inner knowing, a guidance.
Needless to say, I was eager to see my image. I slowly turned over my magazine page and there was a young, blonde boy flyfishing up on a rock. I began to weep. It was like a vision of my husband as a young boy. It looked just like him. I even have a similar picture of him up on a rock flyfishing. It was unbelievable. My husband had recently been struggling with some personal depression, so the image touched me. It was as if it was reading my heart, my love for him, but I did not understand why it was affecting me so much that I was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought for a minute and then it hit me with an even deeper surge of emotion. It was the very day that one year earlier my sweet husband had taken a gun, wrote me a goodbye letter and drove to the mountains to take his life. I wept. I wept at the very thought that my soul had such a spiritual connection. I wept knowing how different my life would be without this amazing man in my life. It was then that I realized the power and knowing of the subconscious mind. How else would I have been drawn to this image?
It was a very powerful personal lesson for me. One that will always stay with me and remind me of the innate gifts and powers that are given to us to help guide us in all we do.
CREATE YOUR OWN VISION BOARD
I wish for you at this time that you will gift yourself the opportunity to have a deeper understanding of what your soul needs and desires. Take the time to create your own vision board. Take the time to nurture your souls desires by taking the necessary steps to make this a beautiful experience. You may not understand some of the images and why you are drawn to them, but do not dismiss the message. There may be something within you that is trying to get your attention and longs for you to see it.
Get a variety of magazines—you can pick some up at thrift stores or buy a variety as a gift to yourself. Say a quiet prayer of inspiration and guidance. Go through each magazine and rip out ANY image that you are drawn to–words, colors, someone who looks fit, a couch cushion that you like, etc. Then go through them again to FEEL which ones you desire to include on your board. Then cut and arrange them on a piece of foam-core board. Put the vision board somewhere that will inspire you. Look at it often & seek any inspiration that it shares with you.
This exercise is to help you find a deeper understanding of your soul’s desire, your personal vision for your life, what is needed and essential for your personal growth. Take the time. Do the work. Create. Enjoy the gifts life has to offer.
-Love and Best Wishes. Heather