Our college daughter is home for summer break, so we have been trying to find movies in the evening that we can all enJOY together. This was a fun, unexpected, feel-good movie with two of my favorite actors, Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. FAVORITEs—-because I have heard good things about them in the real-life world. You LOVE to hear good things about people who have not completely lost their good-human footing in the game of life. Yay.

There will be some spoilers—obviously, if I am taking quotes from the movie and taking away life lessons from them. smile. smile.

It was a cute rom-com with a twist on friendship…and the connections we need.

STORY LINE: Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) and Wally (Jason Bateman) are best friends. Being unlucky in love, Kassie has decided to have a child using artificial insemination. Wally doesn’t like this idea, but he isn’t capable of admitting to himself, let alone to Kassie, that he’s in love with her. At Kassie’s artificial insemination party, Wally gets very drunk and spies the sperm donor’s sample in the bathroom. Wally was way too drunk to know what he did that night, and Kassie has moved away because she doesn’t feel that New York City is a place to raise a child. Now 7 years later, Kassie has moved back with her son Sebastian. While she is looking to get Roland (the sperm donor) more involved in their lives, Wally can’t help but notice the many striking similarities that he and Sebastian share. -from IMDB

Wally Mars:
Look at us. Running around, always rushed, always late. I guess that’s why they call it the human race. What we crave most in this world is connection. For some people it happens at first site. It’s when you know, you know. It’s fate working its magic. And that’s great for them. They get to live in a pop song; ride the express train. But that’s not the way it really works. For the rest of us it’s a bit less romantic. It’s complicated and it’s messy. It’s about horrible timing and fumbled opportunities. And not being able to say what you need to say when you need to say it. At least, that’s the way it was for me.

I completely agree with this. I think the world is actually getting harder to connect on many levels with people. It is one thing to be able to actually say what you need to say, what you feel, and genuinely understand someone and their personal needs. The game of life has changed and become even more complicated. I look at my college daughter and a couple of her college age cousins and they all seem to cling to connection. One of her cousins was with a guy she fell very deeply in love with and dated for six months until he moved out-of-state on a law scholarship opportunity. She then quickly began serial dating until she found another guy that has lasted four dates so far. My daughter has had little dating experience and has jumped from one six month relationship, a break from guys for about four months and into another relationship that has been going on for about four months. He is already talking long term and that terrifies me. And, don’t get me started on trying to even begin to understand how kids these days communicate authentically, while trying to understand the pronouns, intentions of people coming in and out of their lives or how all the influences, social media distractions, text talk…how that all plays into everything. FEELING CONNECTION is getting harder and harder.

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Kassie Larson:
I’m ready to do it now. Life is in session.

LIFE IS IN SESSION. That is it! We have this one life and we constantly need to be asking ourselves are we living it? I always remind myself, ‘You are either living or dying.” You are either growing or you are not. Life is now…Life is in session. Amen.

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Sweet conversations between Wally and Sebastian were very connecting. Loved their relationship.

Sebastian:
I’m having a birthday party.

Wally Mars:
Oh yeah? You enjoy that, there’s gonna come a time in your life when you’re not gonna want people to know it’s your birthday.

Sebastian:
Why wouldn’t anyone want people to know about their birthday?

Wally Mars:
Because getting old sucks. Most people don’t accomplish what they’d hope to and they realize that they are most likely not going to. They end up living these quite lives of denial, and uh… brushing birthdays under the rug just becomes a part of that.

I do think for many this is a genuine description of birthdays as you get older. I am turning 50 this year and my sweet husband brought up my birthday the other day & talked about inviting a bunch of neighbors to get together to celebrate. I stopped him in his tracks and asked him if he really thought that would be fun for me. I told him that he would love that, but no so much, me. I am generally not a big social butterfly. I enjoy people in doses and on my own timing, so gathering a bunch of people to celebrate me—not my thing! I don’t need that much attention. smile. smile. My husband, on the other hand, loves attention and would love a party with lots of neighbors. To each their own.

I do however, agree with the other sentiment in the movie line—that as you get older you begin to analyze your life, have regrets, and run out of precious time to do everything our younger selves hoped and wished for. Your bucket list for life becomes a bit heavier and harder to carry. BUT, I think as we age we just need to change our perspective and make our birthdays memorable. Instead of things…experiences. I have tried to do that more and more over the years. It is the memories that we make in life that we get to keep and are the true treasures of life. My sweet husband and daughter always try to gift me experiences, so for my 50th—horseback riding on the beach!! Don’t brush life under a rug…..get out and experience it! Live it! Life is in session! LOVE that!

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Wally also had a great relationship with a colleague (played by Jeff Goldblum) which was full of fun interactions.

Wally Mars:
So that we’re clear, she did not put me in the friend zone. We put each other in the friend zone. It was a mutual placement. You know that.

Leonard:
Let’s be honest with ourselves, you had your window with Kassie and you went all Wally on her and you doomed it.

Wally Mars:
What is that even supposed to mean?

Leonard:
You shared too much too soon. Quickest way to kill a romance. You gotta hide the crazy, at least through the appetizers.

Wally Mars:
I see. So just so that I’m clear, which one of your three failed marriages taught you that lesson?

Leonard:
All three, and they’re special in various ways.

I thought this convo was very funny. The thought that we all can come off or across to others in various ways—too crazy, you can share too much…etc. This takes me to the reality of first impressions with people and then the eventual ‘REAL’ sides of who you really are. Especially in dating. My daughter is a great example of this. She is this very fun, bubbly, outgoing, witty, confident girl who is soo much fun. She has many people adore her, want to be around her, lots of friends…but she gets to a point with people and may get too comfortable. haha. Its usually around the three month mark. She may not feel challenged enough, or she gets bored, or…..but then something happens, she gets too comfortable and some of her insecurities show up. She has a side that begins to not care and her grumpy, hangry, emotional and the ‘whatever’ side shows up more regularly. It gets ‘REAL.’ Both of her boyfriends have handled this with….”well, at least I know she feels comfortable enough with me.” The other…looked at me and said, “I don’t know what to do or how to help.”

Every person is like a puzzle box—we are all complicated and have our own, individual, unique patterns, buttons that can be pushed, intricate pieces, ways we open and close, etc. So, when we are in a relationship with another complicated puzzle—-we have to take the time to assess the timing, the patterns, the moves and take it one step at a time to make sure it all works and fits correctly. Every person that comes into our lives will hopefully teach us something about understanding individuals, life lessons we can utilize, qualities & experiences we can learn from.

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Leonard:
You should go home, Wally.

Wally Mars:
They *are* my home, Leonard.

I LOVE this sentiment. There are people, friends, neighbors, family that we can genuinely feel this way with. It is a gift to have those relationships. Always keep that thought at the forefront of your feelings for those closest to you. They are a sincere gift to your life….they are home.

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Wally Mars:
Every once in a while, out of all the randomness, something unexpected happens that pushes us all forward. And the truth is, what I’m struggling to think, and what I’m struggling to feel, is that maybe the human race isn’t a race at all.

It is the connecting moments that mean the most to the overall meaning of our lives. It is the hurts, the struggles, the deeper conversations, the trust, the love that makes life an authentic occasion. The connections are the heart of who we are and what we truly value and care about.

Loved the heart of this movie. Go watch it if you haven’t seen it. The premise may sound a little crazy, but the feel of the movie is very worthwhile. You will fall in love with everyone and the sweet connections that are essential. Well done. Thank you. Thank you for the sweet lessons found within the frames. xoxo

Peace. Love and Light to you today. -H