Author: goforthegood1

Get Creative!

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628383_15013214The art of a people is a true mirror of their minds. -Jawaharlal Nehru

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.

-Andre Gide

I thought since I was talking about creativity & making vision boards that I should add some additional tips and tricks to get you moving in a NEW direction. There is a lot to be said about the creativity of the soul…

Here are some suggestions taken from an article 21 Ways to Be More Creative

by Christine Kane and some other good stuff by me!!

1 – Stop watching television

Or better yet, get rid of the damn thing. Any time I teach writing or creativity, this is one of the biggies. TV is a mind-killer. It numbs you. It fills you with emotionally-charged images and over-simplified solutions. It dulls you. Turn it off. Even if this idea scares you, turn it off.

2 – Take a 20-minute walk everyday

It’s easy to become driven about exercise. You go to the Y. You go running. You think that a 20-minute walk isn’t productive or worth much. Take a 20-minute walk and allow the world to just be. Watch things. Stop and smell things. Notice birds. Let the world unfold and show itself to you.

3 – Write with pen & paper (or pencil and paper)

Keep a journal. Do morning pages. Write in long-hand. Typing on a keypad into a computer doesn’t always open up that tactile sense-loving part of us that loves to create.

4 – Write songs to your pets

5 – Dance around the House

Put on old disco (Earth, Wind, and Fire, baby!), or new Madonna, or swing. Put it on loud. Dance

around your house while you make dinner. Or start the day shakin’ your groove thang.

6 – Walk in the rain

I haven’t owned an umbrella in about 10 years. I love the rain. I love walking in it. I wrote the song Everything Green after I hiked in the mountains in the pouring rain. I was journaling about how alive everything was, and I wrote “It was all just rain and mud and wild and green.” That’s how I got my CD title. Walking in the rain can be a happy thing. (Use an umbrella if you want. Rain on umbrellas makes a good sound.)

7 – Make a collage

Magazines. Some Yes Paste. A scrapbook page and lots of crayons and paints and stickers. (And thou.) This isn’t a vision board. It doesn’t have a purpose. It’s just for fun and beauty and making something. I love collaging. I’m not great at it. But I’ve gotten better and better at laying out the page and learning what colors and shapes I love. I always feel more alive when I do one.

8 – Make a list of things you love

My song Loving Hands (on my first CD) was born out of a journal exercise I did where I just wrote a long list of all the things I love. That song remains one of my most requested songs. I had so much fun thinking of things that delight me in the world. Finding feathers, finding pennies, the sound of big flags flapping in the wind, the smell of my cat’s fur when she’s been out in the snow (she smells like a big box of wool mittens). I remember reading it to a friend of mine who just sat there smiling and nodding his head. Even though this was years ago, I still remember how much fun I had making that list.

9 – Write 10 postcards

Go pick out some really cool postcards, and then go to a cafe somewhere, and order your Genmaicha Tea (Okay, get yourself a Latte if you want) and write postcards to friends and family.

10 – Get up early and watch the sun rise

11 – Listen to music you’ve never listened to before.

After I saw the movie Tortilla Soup, I downloaded a bunch of Latin music from iTunes. One of my favorite nights in my memory this year was a hot rainy night thick with humidity. My husband and I opened up all the windows and doors. We pressure cooked (I love our pressure cooker) some black beans, shared a froo-froo mixed drink and made a fantastic dinner while all of my new Latin and Tejano music was cranked up. It was one of those really happy nights, partly because I loved discovering new music.

12 – Eat with your hands

Be a kid again. Make a meal and put the silverware back into the drawers. Eat with your hands. Have some friends over for a silverwareless dinner.

13 – Be quiet

Light a few candles after dark and just sit. Don’t meditate if you don’t want to. Just sit quietly and listen. Watch the candles. Allow for more silence in your life.

We are a noisy people. I hear people say they can’t stand silence. But it is in silence where we can hear the voice of our creativity. Maybe not at first. But it will come.

Drive with no music on. Make dinner in silence. Pay attention to your hands as you slice the veggies. Just be quiet.

14 – Take a nap

15 – Take photos. Real photos. Not digital photos.

My favorite camera is a Pentax K1000. It’s completely manual, and it’s how I learned to take pictures. I’m not very good. When I first moved to Asheville, I used to walk around town on Sundays (the whole town was closed up then) and take pictures of all the buildings. These photos are now a treasure to me because nothing is the same anymore. (Every building has been bought, remodeled and now is filled with stores that sell trickly fountains, Buddahs, and things that smell grassy.)

Take pictures of anything. And have fun in the old method of actually getting your film developed and the excitement of flipping through photos you haven’t seen yet.

16 – Make an event out of watching the full moon come up

One of the things I love about my husband is that he’s always looking for the perfect place to watch the full moon come up. He’ll make an event out of it. We pile in the car and go to this one field or to a bench on the college campus and sit and watch the moon rise.

17 – Read poetry aloud

Poetry is meant to be read aloud. The words and phrases will tilt your brain and open doors like you never thought they would. My favorites: Mary Oliver, e.e. cummings, Rumi, Pablo Neruda, Sharon Olds, Barbara Brooks, and Alicia Suskin Ostriker. There are lots of collections of poetry if you don’t want to pick just one.

18 – Go see a play or live music or live anything

Get out of the house and experience creativity. Avoid mega-blockbuster-Hollywood movies whose trailers begin with the deep gravelly voice saying, “IN A WORLD_” (And then bombs go off and Mel Gibson appears)

Live performance is an exchange. As an audience member you get to participate. I know this because I perform. Every night is different. Everything is about the audience. You receive so much more energy from live shows. Go see the symphony, even the small local symphony. See a play. See some improv. There is so much life on a stage, so many improvisational moments, so much about authenticity. You can’t help but take it in.

19 – Visit a gallery

See another artist’s creation. The downtown of any city is bound to have some great galleries. You don’t have to buy anything. Just experience the artistry of someone gifted in glass blowing or pottery or woodwork.

20 – Write a letter

When was the last time you wrote a letter? I just got a long letter from one of the women who participated in my last retreat. It was funny. And it was fun to read. And I kept thinking, “Damn. It’s been too long since I’ve experienced this.” Every time I write a letter, I feel clearer and happier. Not only is it more fun to make something for someone else, it’s also just a way to get out of yourself.

21 – Stop watching television

This is an important one. It bears repeating. There are so many better things you can do than watch American Idol

I hope during this time of reflecting on a new year that you will take the time to create, to go within to understand yourself better and know that divine gifts lie within.
Best wishes for a creative January.
-Heather

Tap into the vision for your life

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IT IS A NEW YEAR! the energy, the timing, the need to organize, to begin again seems to play in the air. This year I had my little family sit down and create individual vision boards. Needless to say, they were very resistant and not very excited to begin such a creative process. I had to guilt my husband into the experience & my nine-year-old whined “noooo!” Yet, after begging and pleading, we all sat down and plowed through a large stack of a variety of magazines.

It was such a fun process to see my little girl get excited about all the animal pictures she could find. Rip, tear, cheers and big smiles, as she found pictures that resonated with her heart. She has always loved animals, but this year she made and sold bookmarks for the World Wildlife Fund, constantly makes wishes & prays for the animals safety, and whenever we visit a zoo gift shop she seeks out the stuffed animal that will make a donation to an animal cause. Her heart has been centered around giving & learning about animals, so it was fun to see her work for hours on a project that she ended up embracing and loving.

My husband sat quietly tearing, while I anxiously waited to see his creation. Every detail spoke of his innate loves—images of triathlons, cooking and flyfishing filled the board. His work has been very stressful, so it only made sense that his deep inner spirit yearns for play, for passion, for things he loves and enjoys.

My images ended up telling me of my need for change, adventure, my desire to be surrounded by nature, to travel, to be quiet.

I wouldn’t have pushed my family to do this activity if I didn’t whole-heartedly believe in the creative process of our subconscious minds. There is a magic, a knowing that seems to exist when we just allow our creative desires to come. The subconscious is a very powerful tool that we tend to overlook or think it may be a little “whoo-whoo.” There is so much that is unknown, something that no one talks about because of the unfamiliarity of the mere chance that someone will mis-interpret our view point or belief.

I have always thought about the depths and power of our mind, but never truly understood or experienced the potential guidance our subconscious holds. This is a great story that taps into how powerful the vision of your life truly is…

I was attending my first women’s retreat coach training in Colorado. There were about twenty women in attendance, none of whom I had ever met. For our first meeting together I was sitting near a beautiful, african-american women (the only one in the group). Our first assignment was to one by one got to a stack of pictures that were upside down on a nearby table, pick one and then sit down. I was curious to know what this had to do with retreating, but I followed along and selected my picture. None of us were to look at the images until everyone had chosen one. We were then broken into groups of five women and we each turned over our images. Well, before I turned my image over I sat in amazement as the beautiful women next to me had chosen a image of a african-american woman holding a small child. She got a little emotional and explained to me that she had one little daughter and the image touched her so. I was shocked by the seemingly beautiful magic that was happening. How else could this happen unless we have a innate, inner knowing of what our souls desire is–it longs to share a deep, inner knowing, a guidance.

Needless to say, I was eager to see my image. I slowly turned over my magazine page and there was a young, blonde boy flyfishing up on a rock. I began to weep. It was like a vision of my husband as a young boy. It looked just like him. I even have a similar picture of him up on a rock flyfishing. It was unbelievable. My husband had recently been struggling with some personal depression, so the image touched me. It was as if it was reading my heart, my love for him, but I did not understand why it was affecting me so much that I was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought for a minute and then it hit me with an even deeper surge of emotion. It was the very day that one year earlier my sweet husband had taken a gun, wrote me a goodbye letter and drove to the mountains to take his life. I wept. I wept at the very thought that my soul had such a spiritual connection. I wept knowing how different my life would be without this amazing man in my life. It was then that I realized the power and knowing of the subconscious mind. How else would I have been drawn to this image?

It was a very powerful personal lesson for me. One that will always stay with me and remind me of the innate gifts and powers that are given to us to help guide us in all we do.

CREATE YOUR OWN VISION BOARD

I wish for you at this time that you will gift yourself the opportunity to have a deeper understanding of what your soul needs and desires. Take the time to create your own vision board. Take the time to nurture your souls desires by taking the necessary steps to make this a beautiful experience. You may not understand some of the images and why you are drawn to them, but do not dismiss the message. There may be something within you that is trying to get your attention and longs for you to see it.

Get a variety of magazines—you can pick some up at thrift stores or buy a variety as a gift to yourself. Say a quiet prayer of inspiration and guidance. Go through each magazine and rip out ANY image that you are drawn to–words, colors, someone who looks fit, a couch cushion that you like, etc. Then go through them again to FEEL which ones you desire to include on your board. Then cut and arrange them on a piece of foam-core board. Put the vision board somewhere that will inspire you. Look at it often & seek any inspiration that it shares with you.

This exercise is to help you find a deeper understanding of your soul’s desire, your personal vision for your life, what is needed and essential for your personal growth. Take the time. Do the work. Create. Enjoy the gifts life has to offer.

-Love and Best Wishes. Heather

A Beautiful Movie to share

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My darling niece just sent me to a beautiful youtube movie that she watched at school.

It is called “The Butterfly Circus.”  I urge you to gather your families around and watch this sweet little movie. It is very well done with beautiful music and an inspired message. I did not want to forget about this little gem & I figured this is a wonderful gift to give to anyone…enjoy!!

A Beautiful time of year

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PaperSnowflakeChristmas – that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance.  It may weave a spell of nostalgia.  Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance – a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.  ~Augusta E. Rundel

 The first of December seems to bring a feeling of JOY, a season of giving, many moments of happy hearts. I thought it would be fitting to include some fun ideas to make the season bright. enJOY!
I will be following up in the next few days to spread some holiday cheer, stories, and ideas to make the holiday season a very happy place to be. Happy Holidays!! It is officially that time of year!

The Beginning 

Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, The poor and lonely and sad, The more of your heart’s possessing, Returns to you glad. 

–John Greenleaf Whittier

St. Nicholas

There are many tales to be told of the original St. Nicholas, he was orphaned at a young age because his parents died. Though they left him a considerable inheritance, he was still alone, so with this money he was well-known for his generosity to children, which then led to the stories and legends of Santa Claus.

One such story told of three young girls whose father could not afford to take care of them and was about to sell them into prostitution. St. Nicholas secretly brought bags of gold to the man’s home so the girls would not have to be sold into such a lifestyle. The father was very grateful for the generous act.

Santa Claus began with many Myths and many countries, different names and changing costumes to arrive at the gift giving beliefs of today. But probably the closest traditions began in several European countries when the children would put their shoes in front of the fire place to get warm and the next morning the shoes would be filled with candy and small toys. They would sing songs and leave a carrot or hay for the horse who would accompany St. Nicholas during the night. In the Netherlands a loud knock on the front door would tell the family that “Sinterklaas” had arrived. Outside the door would be a bag of gifts on the doorstep.

Over time many things have changed from the humble beginnings of a Saint who was trying to help children, but we are grateful that the tradition of giving during the holiday season that has stood the test of time.

Thank you St. Nicholas.

Christmas is that time of year where the magic is seemingly everywhere. People are at their best and kindness and love seem to spread through the kind words and good deeds shared.

At our house Christmas means many things…finding the balance between the baby Jesus and commercial Santa Claus with his spirit of giving. I have heard many things from people who only give three gifts (like the ones baby Jesus received) to all out package riots and Christmas is done in ten minutes.

So, how do we find a balance between the spirit of giving and remembering the reason for the season? We do our best. We learn, we spread love and we enjoy every moment.

The Magic

The Magic of Christmas has to be one of my favorite things…with the flying reindeer, the star of bethlehem, the stories, the fables, the magic elves, the symbolism within the season, the cookies and milk…everything. Everything is a good place to start!

But let’s begin with some wonderful things you can ‘SERVE’ for the holiday season.

Anytime

-Deliver a special treat to someone who needs a little sunshine…go on a ‘cinnamon stroll’ and deliver a couple of cinnamon rolls to elderly neighbors for their morning meal, deliver a inspirational story with a plate of cookies, drop off a bag of bird seed and the Night Tree Story (under stories) to spread love.

-Help a sibling or friend to read a book, do a math problem, homework, etc.

-Pick up trash while out on a family walk

-Bring in your neighbor’s trash cans

-Write someone you love or appreciate a nice note

-Take a thank you note to each one of your child’s teachers at school

-Give something to say thank you to the people who are at your child’s school cross walks

-Provide a foster home for a needy pet waiting to be adopted

-Go to a local senior center and offer your services to play games, read books, just talk

-Take items to your local animal shelter…cat and dog food, clean towels and blankets, toys…

-Are there any low-income preschools or housing facilities in your community–

find out if they need toys, play equipment, dress-ups, bikes, socks, coats, etc.

-Offer to babysit free of charge for a working mother, busy parents of a disabled child, or a

couple who has their hands full of little ones—let them go out on a much needed date night.

-Find out if your local church organizations have humanitarian needs that need to be met

(ie: First aid kits, hygiene kits, newborn care items, school supplies, etc—there is a need–ASK)

-Collect all your spare change for a few months & then donate it to a good cause

-Donate blood

-go to http://www.volunteermatch.org & type in your zip code to find local volunteer opportunities

-Find a local organization that helps–Foster Care Foundations, Habitat for Humanity, Ronald McDonald House, go to http://www.hospitalsoup.com to find local hospitals that need help & Volunteer

Service for one another in your family

-Helper’s Hints—On slips of paper, have kids write or draw a picture of a way to serve each

family member. Then place the slips in a decorated shoebox. For example, kids might

write, “Make Mom’s bed,” “Give a hug,” or “Do the dishes.” Each morning kids can choose a

slip of paper and use the “hint” to serve someone that day. Periodically have kids come up

with new ideas to add to their boxes at home.-Help a sibling or friend to read a book, do a math problem, homework, etc.

-Celebrate the love–Challenge everyone to complete one act of kindness for each family member during the week.

-Legacy Love Letter—write a loving note to express the many reasons you are grateful for someone in your life.

-No Whining! Have a whine free week(or day) together. Make a promise that each of you will work to not complain about homework, going to ballet, soccer, etc. Happily. Happily we go.

-Do something to help around the house without being asked—yard work, windows, etc

-Love notes—write a little love note and leave it in your child’s lunch, their mirror, your mom’s

computer, your dad’s car…a little note left somewhere to remind them they are loved.

-Turn off the television and talk…share highlights, help make dinner together…

Winter

-Find out about local charities and find out if they need holiday help (ie: Foster Care may need help gathering gifts, Medical center may have a “festival of trees”, Sub-for-Santa, etc)

-Take someone a Christmas or Thanksgiving meal (elderly neighbor, less fortunate family, someone you work with that needs a little help, a single mom/dad who works, etc)

-12 Days of Dinners—This is a great substitute for the 12 days of Christmas. Do you know anyone who is struggling during this economic time, surprise them with dinners.

-Shovel an elderly neighbor’s driveway or walkway

-Donate your old coats to a shelter,Take blankets to the homeless shelter or transition house

-Decorate a small tree & take it to a lonely elderly individual, include a holiday cd of music, maybe something baked, a warm blanket, hot cocoa, a fun bag of ‘holiday must haves’

-Pick one or two people to do the twelve days of Christmas

-Decorate a tree in your yard, a park or the mountains that is for the animals—include: orange slices, birdseed pinecones, cranberries, string of popcorn, & make it a special tradition for your family. (Read Eve Bunting’s Book)

-Volunteer to do a fun holiday craft or special event with a local senior center

–Take hotcocoa to people working out in cold conditions—ie: light festivals, carriages, ice rink, bell ringer…

-Drop off hand warmers to people working fast food & are at a window all day in the cold.

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~Janice Maeditere

 

A beautiful gift to give

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The holidays should not focus on the opening of the gifts, but opening our hearts to those we care about.

The process.

If you can give your child one gift…give the gift of your loving words, your prayers for their life, your belief in who they are and the beautiful potential you see in them. Writing a loving letter is a perfect way to express all these things. It is a gift they will cherish and have the rest of their lives. Write as often as you feel necessary (once a year, every six months, as a Christmas present, on their birthday, a special occasion, etc.) You choose the timeline that fits for you.

A few different style ideas:

1. You can just write a letter describing things you love about your child, special memories, their favorite toys, movies, songs, books at this particular age. Include funny things they say, activities they are participating in, how they are doing in school, events they have enjoyed attending, their friendships, their dreams, etc.

2. You can also put a scrapbook heart in the center and branch off of it specific details you love about your child and then write a letter below. Add small pictures to the page (you can have mini pictures 2×3 printed at Walgreens–probably anywhere) that would add to your letter. You can decorate the page in colorful markers, add favorite song lyrics, quotes, words, memories, etc.

Share the Love.

There is no question of the special bond that ties a child and mother, but these letters would be a beautiful gift to anyone. Write one to your spouse, a friend, mother, grandmother, Heavenly Father or to youself (you are important and need to feel loved—even by your own words)

Take the time to share feelings, life lessons, thoughts and inspiration, gratitude, gifts of this life. The people who are part of your life add the little details, the conversations, the heartache, the experiences…they are the witness to your life. Sharing with them the love you have within, makes living more valuable. It creates a full circle of love that continues to grow, sharing in love and leaving letters of remembrance. It is a beautiful gift.

Happy gift giving. Would LOVE to hear about the gift you love giving during the holiday season.

Traditions & Rituals for the Holidays

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With the holiday season in the air  I thought I would do a special post to address the holidays. This is a time of hurry, mixed feelings of commercial vs meaning, creating memories and making it a special time of year for everyone.

Taking the time to create meaningful traditions at this special time of year will help ensure happiness for all!

Cheers to the holidays…

Holidays…means ”Holy Days”

Thanksgiving is filled with football games, turkey dinners and pumpkin pie, but you could also take pictures of all the guests and have them write down ‘five things they are grateful for’ and share them with the family around the dinner table—OR have a fabric tablecloth & have everyone write what they are thankful for & keep it for the next Thanksgiving feast. Another fun idea—make a hostess gift for the person who hosted the dinner & have a special apron that everyone signs in thanks. You could also pack a special dinner for a local fire/police department (or someone who doesn’t have family nearby) & have the family deliver it

Gratitude book of love to each child…go to Walmart, Snapfish…and create a 20 page picture book…include pictures from the year and some of your favorite artwork from the year…write a special note & give for Thanksgiving.

I AM GRATEFUL for you…love you…xoxo You can also give for birthday or Christmas or any holiday.

 Another idea I began last year, our ‘giving tree.’ My husband travels a lot during the month of November & December, so we put our Christmas tree up around the week of Thanksgiving. Since the tree is up I started to have every guest (for thanksgiving or any visit) write down something they are grateful for on a paper link. I then link them all together to create a chain that I hang on the Christmas tree.

Christmas

Birthday Cake Story: every christmas eve we go to grandmas house and she reads this story with a basket full of goat cheese, a candle and a birthday cake. It is a favorite tradition that we have done since I was young.

Christmas eve pajamas: have special pajamas that can be opened christmas eve

So many things to do…Read or watch Luke 2, make gifts to give to neighbors and friends, go to the salem pond lights and enjoy the carriage ride while singing Christmas tunes, participate in some sort of giving tree, make a turkey dinner for someone in need, download and share some of your favorite holiday tunes, putting out birdseed and bread crumbs & reading the book “Why Christmas Trees Aren’t Perfect” is a nice touch… Make a list of all the things you would like to include this holiday season. Is it making gingerbread houses, visiting a local old folks home to sing carols, visiting temple square, going to see a production of the Nutcracker, seeing holiday lights, drinking eggnogg by candlelight after a winter walk in the snow, making homemade gifts for family and friends, celebrating the advent, lighting luminaries and making wishes, sharing the story of the nativity on the eve of Christmas, watching the nativity, visiting a live nativity, visiting family Christmas day, making snow angels, making ornaments and garland for the tree, having a special tree for Jesus with adornments made with love, ice-skating at the park with homemade hot cocoa, playing games on Christmas day, a special story read the night before Christmas,talking about the history of Christmas and learning about the real St. Nicholas, cutting down your own tree, buying a a live tree and then planting it after the holidays, planting herbs to share as gifts, going to church services, lighting a special candle every day for the month of December, having the 12 days of Christmas, or giving the 12 days of Christmas, making homemade soup and bread bowls, serving dinner at a local shelter, go on a winter sleigh ride, make christmas birdseed balls for our feathered friends, etc. Choose activities that will be memorable for everyone. Have a good balance of personal family time with holiday activities.

12 days of Christmas books, stories or Movies: Pick your 12 favorite holiday books and put the titles on pieces of paper & place in a jar—draw one each evening. (Polar Express, Twas the Night before Christmas, God gave us Christmas, Why Christmas Trees aren’t Perfect, The Grinch who stole Christmas, Who is coming to our house?…create your own or check out Amazon.com and buy your first book and each year add to the collection)

Christmas guest: a little magic comes to visit to remind little children that they need to be on their best behavior—have a special elf, christmas bear…come with a special note, holiday book, holiday yummy… and have the little visitor watch over the family. If someone is not listening…the visitor leaves to report to the north pole. This little guest does help keep the peace & is something every child looks forward to.

Christmas games: Christmas morning have santa leave a special game created just for this special morning…dice game with stickers (make a giant dice out of cardboard or use a larger toy dice & have stickers on every side–the stickers match the presents), price is right, scavenger hunt, Christmas to do drawing (have someone choose a special thing to do before opening a present–yell ‘Merry Christmas’ out the front door, sing a christmas tune, say something you are grateful for, etc), Christmas around the world—(Its a small world song, bought a little wood globe with people from all over & shared a little trivia & info. before opening a present). Have a string run throughout the house that everyone has to follow to find the family gift.

Break up your day: Have a special holiday breakfast, open a few presents, then break at a specific time to make holiday treats to share with lonely neighbors or someone who needs some holiday cheer, then come back and open another present, have a nice lunch together…spread the fun and festivities throughout your day.

From Family Fun:

Inspired by Eve Bunting’s book Night Tree, the Watermans get together each year with friends and family and trek into the woods to decorate a tree for the animals. The evening begins at home, with the preparation of appropriate goodies: pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed, popcorn and cranberry garlands, orange and apple slices suspended from pipe cleaners. Once the feast is complete, the assembled throng bundles up and heads out into the night. Tree-decking is followed by sharing hot chocolate, holiday cookies and Christmas carols.

Recycle Toy Shop: have your kids pick a day to go through their old toys and fix them up to give away. There are many charities that need items, so clean-up old trucks, brush the dolls hair and spread some cheer.

Light a candle & share the joy to those not near: For family that is not close to home, send invites and have a special day and time where everyone across the country lights a candle, shares a poem, hot cocoa, special chrisstmas tunes and sends out special holiday wishes and cheer.

Surprise someone local: Firefighters, police officers and many other public servants give up their holidays to make sure that ours are safe and happy. Do something nice for someone local–take cookies, dinner…

Putting Christ back in to Christmas

Having a hard time balancing Santa Claus and Jesus?? Turn the holiday season into a season of giving.

Explain the reason for the Season (Jesus), but also include the story of Saint Nicholas and his giving heart.

Talk to your family about having a balance of holiday gifts (to represent the gifts Jesus was given)

and being ‘present’ with the giving heart and true meaning of the season.

Ask What Would Jesus like us to do to celebrate his birth?

Would he like us to have a ‘gimme.gimme. I want attitude’ or would he want us to be more like

Saint Nicholas and create an intentional giving holiday full of family, love, giving and gratitude.

Have a special tree for Jesus. Adorned with ornaments that symbolize Him and his birth.

Have a special manger that you fill with kind and loving deeds

Have a little stocking for the baby Jesus and each year write something you were grateful for or

something you would like to work on to be more Christ like for the coming year.

Celebrate daily with a advent (which means ‘coming’) calendar that is filled with a scripture

or a kind deed for the day, a spiritual activity or service idea for the family.

Candles (originally go with the advent wreath) to be lit every Sunday of the month of December

4 purple candles that symbolize HOPE we have in Christ LOVE God showed in sending His son PEACE that comes through knowing Jesus as our Savior JOY (pink candle) reminds us of the Joy of Jesus’ coming

Then one last white candle that is to be lit Christmas Eve and represents Jesus and His purity

You light a candle every Sunday.

All candles lit=the fulfillment of Jesus’ coming to be the light of the world.

You could light special luminaries as a family and create a special tradition that revolves

around His Light, the Light of the world, ways to be a light within your own life, etc.

30 Day Challenge (between Thanksgiving and Christmas)

Do 1 thing that sets your day with Spirit

(music, prayer, daily pages, quiet time, sweets for your fam,etc)

Give Sweets to your Family

(morning hot cocoa, dryer wamed blankets or coats, sweet notes of love)

Daily or Weekly act of love and kindness

(pass along something inspirational, story, music, affirmation)

Express your Love

(notes, hugs, Quality time, simple I love you, date night with each child, etc)

Notice the Ordinary Miracles within your life

(the warmth of a fire, the winter walks, making snow angels, the touch of those you love, candle glow, cozy sweaters, warm kisses, falling snow, your breath on a cold morning, making breakfast together…etc)

Create ‘Christ’mas meaning within your day

(embrace beautiful stories/songs of the Beloved, bring Christ into your Christmas season)

Share meaningful gifts during this beautiful time of giving

(give gifts that will be remembered and cherished: special photo/story, cd of music, special ornaments they can hang every year, personalized notecards, no matter what a personal card that says something you love and cherish about them)

I would LOVE  everyone to add additional traditions that you do for the holiday season.
Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays! 
Heather

A time for family rituals II

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What gifts will you give that will make your family come together…rituals & traditions.

Yesterday I began with some family rituals and ideas to help connect your family on a daily, weekly, special occasion basis. I am following up today with some additional ideas to help bring everyone together. 

Alone time:

You can always set aside some personal time and journal, light a candle and listen to beautiful music, go on a walk all alone, etc. Society often makes us feel that it is not normal to want to have some alone time, but being alone is good for the soul. It helps you take the time to revitalize the body and connect with your spirit. Quiet time is quality time.

Bath:

At any point in your day you can stop, light some candles, add bubbles or bath salts, quiet your mind and float in a warm bath. Relax. play pretty music and enjoy the candlelight. When done…blow out the candles and say Thank you.  This is so wonderful for your children as well–helps them learn to appreciate self care.

My daughter did not enjoy bathing or showering, so I decided to make it a special occasion. I light a candle and tell her to relax and enjoy her time in the water. It definitely helps & she is always feeling better when she is done.

Birthdays:

Birthday book: have a photo of the child/adult on the front of the album—inside have everyone–friends, guests, relatives, children write something special within the album (they could bring a photo to add to the album, a poem, quote, memory, etc)

Every year I make a special book for my daughter with pictures from the whole year. I write a special letter inside and make it special. I also try to make a DVD of special videos from the year. It makes a fun gift!

Half birthdays: Some families may find joy in creating a half birthday–some because a child’s birthday is during the summer and can’t celebrate it during the school year or many just want a party every six months. ideas: The child selects ONE present of their choice and they get to go out to a family dinner of their choice. You could also honor them with a half birthday cake or royal treatment for half the day.

Siblings: have siblings create a special card for the birthday. Dollar store gift item that represents sibling.

Birthday letter: Each year write a personal letter to the birthday recipient. You could include special letters from mom, dad, grandparents, siblings, etc. Give the book of letters to them on their 18th birthday.

Story of the child’s birth: Type it up and share it with your child every birthday.

Little fun ideas: fill their room with two dozen balloons while they sleep, so this is the first thing they see. Have a special thing you add to their cake—Little doll each year, specialty gift, piece of jewelry in cake…

Yearly Picture: Have a special article of clothing, a blanket, a special spot (on grandma’s swing, childhood chair) and take a picture each year in the same place, shirt, blanket, etc.

Include: Favorite birthday breakfast, surprise decorations, no chores or responsibilities for the day, do something they have always wanted to do, special dessert, dinner, etc.

Special School Lunch: check the child out of school on their birthday for a special birthday lunch.

Other cultural birthday ideas: In Mexico Pinatas are always fun for any festivity, in Argentina children get pulls on their earlobes for their birthday, in the middle east there is a special chair decorated with flowers and fun & the child is then lifting and raising it once for each year of life – plus one more for good luck!

Coming of Age: Many other cultures have ways to celebrate womanhood or manhood…here are a few ideas. Quinceañera is a celebration within the latin culture—it is a special party when a young woman is 15. It could have a theme, but a sweet sentiment is the passing of flat shoes to heels.

Or a special daddy/daughter dance OR Mother/son

Changing from child to adult comes with responsibility…you may want to have a special dinner and have a special handing over of more responsibility, a savings account, additional chores (laundry)etc.

Teaching and educating them through this transition is key…helping them make good decisions about their free time, friendships, and personal values. This is when they begin to leave the nest.

Special ritual: have friends and family sit in a circle (represents the flow of life, the never-ending circle of growth)–Have the mother and child hold hands (or joined with a ribbon) enter the circle and the mother says something like this.. “I brought you into this world and our spirits will be forever joined. However, up until this time, I have led you through life and you have listened to everything I said. If you are ready, then today our relationship changes, and I offer my guidance and ever lasting love, but know that you have started down your own path, and may not always listen. I do hope that our new relationship is one of trust, honesty and warmth. You can cut away our old relationship today, but I will always be here for you.”–break the hand holding chain to a loving hug or cut the ribbon as a symbol of change followed by a loving hug.

This might be a nice time for the song to be played or sang, or a prayer said, then the leader can invite everyone to come forward, take a flower from a vase and give it to the teen (who you have seated by now), and tell them what they wish for their future and adulthood.

Adoption:

I like this idea for Foster Kids as well.

Special Ritual: Invite friends and family (if you want). sit in a family circle. Light a pink candle to symbolize the groups love for the child. Begin by thanking the child for coming into this family. Go around the circle (starting with the parents) and have everyone talk about how important it is to have this child in the family and the community. Add feelings (change, worth, new beginnings, etc). Have everyone share something about themself to allow connection and have the new child share (if they want) something about them and their likes…

Appreciation Box: (for parents or child) Have a special box or basket on a specific day “Parents Day” or “Gotcha Day”—-the day a child arrives or a specific day of the year–celebrate with gifts of appreciation and love. The box or basket is placed outside the recipients door and everyone places gifts of love (put cookies, drawings, a letter, object of love, etc) into the box or basket throughout the day. A little twist: you could place the box outside the door in the early morning & everyone has to fill it before breakfast, then the recipient brings the basket into their room to look through & this clues everyone else to bring in breakfast in bed.

 
Dealing with Anger:

Anger Sticks, drum: (make them at family night)

When anger comes–encourage the feelings to be released–pound a pillow, cry, shout (not at others), beat the drum or stick…eventually the anger will fade. Then write down a list of what made your child, your spouse angry. Then together burn the list and release the anger.

Anger corner: Have an anger corner within your home with lots of pillows

Anger actions: Have your child do a special action when they are angry—Volcano, count to 10, etc. This worked really well when my daughter was a toddler and couldn’t express herself very well. I would have her shoot her arms into the air like a volcano and change her pattern of anger. It was great to see her switch from anger and focus on releasing it with her little actions.

Express through drawings: have your child draw or write a story about a person who gets mad and what makes them angry—this will help you understand what is upsetting your child.

Healing a fight:

Have a safe place in the home (fireplace mantel, specific shelf, a room, etc)

Make peace doves as a family–1 per person (paper, clay, magazine cut-out, ornament, etc) & put name on it.

After a fight or argument each person (on their own time) goes to the safe place and writes a letter or tape records their feelings–I feel angry because….. NOT “you’re mean. I hate you”

Then each person will turn their dove with their name facing out to symbolize that they wish to make peace (or you could have a small help sign next to the dove–to symbolize wanting to make peace)

The other person(s) involved can come and read the letter or listen to the recording and write their own.

They turn their dove over–which is a symbol that both with to make peace.

They make a time to talk and to make peace. Forgive and hug.

“Contemporary American families are entropic, meaning they drift toward falling apart,” says William Doherty, head of the Marriage and Family Therapy program at the University of Minnesota. “Rituals combat that entropy and help hold families together. Whenever you do a ritual, you are saying `No’ to other activities or people, and becoming what I call an intentional family. Most of us just drift into habits, doing what is most convenient. But ritualizing means to take a hold of activities and ask: does this meet the needs of our family? If it’s something like sitting in front of a TV night after night for dinner, then the answer is `No.’”

 
First Times:

First day of school, first time driving, first job, new school, first sleep over, first speech….

Power Shirt: create a special power shirt that says “courage” or “confidence”–can be worn under clothes.

First day of school: give the ‘courage’ shirt with a stuffed lion and tell your little one “this shirt will help you feel courage and protect you”

New job: the ‘confidence” shirt will give power and confidence

New School Year: end of summer (or new year) light sparklers together as a family and do a special cheer to new friends, new school year—remind them of the special light  within…shine on and be a light to all those they meet.

Have a special family blessing to bless each child as they enter their new year of school. You can have a special blessing chair or give them a special token of best wishes for their first day.

Sweet 16: Special dinner date with Dad/Mom(parents). Give a special piece of jewelry to symbolize letting go of childhood and growing toward becoming a adult.

Decorate their car with cans, signs, balloons in congrats to getting a license.

Cheers to you: Any successes, good grades, making the team, new job. Have a special dinner in honor of the accomplishment. GO around the table and have each person give a cheer of something positive, complimentary, nice about the person, the event, the achievement. Cheers to you!!

Family Tapestry/Project: Create a family tapestry, mosaic table, stone wall (each fabric tile, stone, piece of glass) represents a milestone in the family and is decorated and added to the family project.

 

Well, that is all I am going to leave you with today. I will continue with the family ritual ideas tomorrow. I will include great holiday ideas to share, so make sure you read my part III.

fyi: many of the ideas I share in the family rituals are taken from a variety of places like Barbara Bizou, Real Simple, Family Fun…I just hope a collection of these ideas will get you creating rituals and traditions with your family.

Happy day. Heather

 

A time for family rituals

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The very word RITUAL is derived from an Indo-Eurpoean root, means “to fit together”

Family therapist Ron Taffel asked kids (nursery school -sixth grade) “What is your favorite thing to do?” 80 percent–four out of five–cited everyday rituals with their parents.

By using rituals, we help ourselves and our children make better sense of the world. They begin to regard even the mundane—a bath or a family dinner–as sacred moments of connection and togetherness. -Family Rituals by Barbara Biziou

A December 2002 review of 32 studies affirms that family routines (such as bedtime, chores, and dinner time) and family rituals (such as birthdays, Christmas celebrations, and family reunions) are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents’ sense of personal identity, academic achievement, children’s health, and stronger family relationships. From About.comUpdated: November 24, 2003

 
November and December are big months for bringing family together, so I am going to take a few days to share some ideas to bring rituals into your family life.
Take some time to create rituals as a family.

EVERYDAY RITUALS

Make sure everyone is included on creating the rituals and traditions used within your home. The more invested each member is on the planning and creating, the more meaningful it will become. You may go to the soccer games, the dance lessons…but the quality time is within the home. Make the time, plan the memories…its a family thing. Family should come first!

Mealtime Blessings:

“We all know that sharing food is the ultimate symbol of nurturing and togetherness.”

Decorating the table: make the table beautiful—candles, flowers, thought…You may have a special item (goblets, candlesticks, china, decor) that is only used when you eat together as a family.

Prayer: You may want to hold hands while praying, or have a special prayer that you share together.

Breakfast–Use breakfast as a time for a early morning break. Encourage the family to quiet their mind, enjoy the meal before a busy day.

Weekly Family Dinner: Have a specific time each week (at least) to share a family dinner. Give everyone an opportunity to plan the whole meal, the decor, the theme, the job assignments, etc.

Ex: Mom may love a flower theme (flowers, china, manners, dressing up, classical music, etc),

Brother may want a soccer theme (soccer ball center piece, BBQ, game plan for place mats, etc), Sister may want a tea party (tea cups, little sandwiches, dolls & stuffed animals as guests, etc), Dad may want a mustang theme (model cars for the center piece, BBQ ribs, Mustang fun facts for table, 60’s music, etc). Have fun with the planning and the whole idea of family connection.

DInner fun: You can have a family dinner fun…have a jar with random questions or buy the family dinner games Family Time Fun Dinner Games and Activities by FamilyTime Fun–there are even conversation cards.

Family Unity:

Hold a family meeting once a week–schedule the time to be together as a family to talk, to listen, to be with one another. Everyone is free to discuss whatever is on their mind. Report weekly events.

Plan upcoming holidays, activities, ideas that will help connect the family.

You may want to incorporate a talking stick—get together to make the family stick and talk about how  it will be used during family weekly meetings. The idea…whoever is holding the stick has the right to speak. No one is allowed to interrupt or criticize the speaker. Have the family paint their names, decorate it, make it your own. Before incorporating the talking stick into family meetings make sure everyone understands how it is used. This stick is to allow anyone and everyone to share whatever is on their mind (frustrations, good things, or anything they would like to get off their chest) Stress that no one will be criticized or punished for any wrongdoing and that using the stick is not a time to “get” someone else. It is to help share feelings without interruption, to heal hurts and bring connection through emotions and the feeling of safety within the home.

This is also a good way to stop daily arguments or fights—simply tell the children…I do not want to hear about this right now, it sounds like something that should be brought up during our family meeting.

Family Vision Board: have everyone select pictures that are meaningful to them on a personal level (ie: soccer, ballet, new job, a home, a garden, thoughts, quotes, family connection, etc) pick your favorites and create a family vision board that is put somewhere for everyone to see, to think about.

Share history: help your children to know and understand what it was like when you were growing up–what you did and didn’t do, activities you participated in..your history. Kids love to hear stories about you & them!!

Also share the meaning(s) behind symbols within holidays—the symbols of a christmas tree, why eggs are used at easter, candy-canes, etc. The history of different meanings within the holidays.

Weekly Chores and Pizza–have a specific time each week to do family chores together and then order pizza. You could also incorporate daily chores into the overall weekly goal…they do their chores every day and on Saturday night they get pizza.

Play Day–have a weekly ‘play’ activity with the family. Try to make it the same day and time each week and rotate who chooses the activity. Ex: Friday Night Fishing Night—pretend fishing game with fun goodies attached.

OR this could also be a day you keep your kids home from school and play hooky (maybe do this once every six months) and spend the day playing games, eating in bed, doing whatever you want as a family. I call these special days “Mommy/Missy Days” (since I have a young daughter) but you could have a special name for them too.

Date night–This goes for mom & dad–at least once a week, BUT you also need to schedule some “Daddy/Daughter” or “Mommy/Missy” or “Father & Son” “Mommy & Me” dates. Try to take each child on a special date at least once a month—it doesn’t have to be anything huge…a special trip to get ice cream, to go to the mall to window shop, an evening walk…something that just gets the two of you connecting.

Little things–Saturday morning cartoons & a big pancake breakfast, Dad takes the kids to buy donuts on Saturday morning while mom sleeps in, after the dentist/doctor go play skeeball at Chucky Cheese or go for ice cream, a monthly breakfast to IHOP for crepes, create a FAMILY playlist of songs that play in the car (a little something everyone will enjoy), warming up coats in the dryer on a cold morning, or the simple act of throwing a towel or robe in the dryer before someone gets out of the bath/shower, writing love notes on napkins that are going in lunches or a simple “I LOVE YOU” in lipstick on a bathroom mirror at the beginning of the week. Helping your kids with responsibility—chores and allowance.

Quiet time: every evening before bed…homework done, nice music playing, alone time, everyone is quiet…journaling, relaxing, unwinding from the day.

Weekly service: Choose someone who needs a little cheer and make them cookies or take an elderly neighbor their favorite fast food sandwich and shake, take an inspiring note or story to a special teacher or friend.

Shake up your family night: Have a camp-in where you bring in the tent, sleeping bags and light a fire, have smores, tell stories….or make a huge tent in your living room out of blankets and have pizza…OR do something you would not ordinarily do, like go to the symphony or an art museum or see a prof. sporting event.

Play Genie: Grant three small wishes to each family member on starred calendar days. (Be prepared to have quesadillas for breakfast or go to the movies on a school night.)* Real Simple

Bedtime:

Nightime– Saying prayers, reading a book, singing a song or simply relaxing helps ease into bedtime.

Create a ritual to sing a special goodnight song. Give your child a special foot massage while talking to them about the ‘highlights’ of their day. Is there a special story to share or special back scratches.

Special Bedtime Buddy: have a special buddy to help create security and safety through the night.

Highlights of the day: talk about the highlights of the day while unwinding into bed.

Dream Pillow: Make a special dream pillow–you can spray a scent like lavender to help with sleep. This pillow is to help with sweet dreams–if your child talks about fears or concerns with their day, express that sleep will take them away and the dream pillow will bring good dreams.

Nightly Ritual: special foot massage or back scratches

Goodnight prayer.

For adults or older children:

To release the day…No clutter or work in your bedroom. Cover any television or computer screen with a beautiful cloth and begin to quiet your mind.

Have a special journal or notebook to write down any worries or concerns from the day.

Self-love journal: I created a self-love journal for my daughter, a friend and a niece. I wrote questions throughout that would help them reflect on their day, their thoughts, their dreams, their personal ideas, etc. It is a fun gift to give for many occasions. Take the time to write questions they can answer. It will be a gift to themselves.

Breathe in and out. Write your worries. Rip the worries out of your notebook, crumble and burn or toss.

Light a candle and write down everything you accompished throughout your day–things you are grateful for, special highlights…the good things within your day.

You will end up with a beautiful notebook of good things within your life.

Say a prayer of thanks and blow out the candle to let go of the stress and sleep in bliss.

Well, that is all for today. I will continue with more ideas tomorrow.

Happy creating! Heather

 

 
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“When I was five years old my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.”              -quote I found in google

I love this quote. You can just imagine this happening as a young child. I think as we grow into adults we forget some of the most important ingredients of a good life…things that make us laugh, being around people who bring us joy, finding time for play, loving the little things. There are many things that make us happy, so we should seek to find these things in all we do.

Being HAPPY is what we should always desire as we grow up. Cheers to happiness!

Do something that brings a little happiness your way today.