Learn the rules like a pro, soyou can break them like an artist. -Pablo Picasso
There is so much excitement, fear, information, misinformation, disconnect…about AI and it is and will be an ongoing conversation for sometime.
I just read a story in Rick Rubin’s book, The Creative Act about an ancient Chinese boardgame, GO. Here is the story from his book: Some three thousand years ago in China, the strategic board game Go was developed. Some believe warlords and generals based it on the stones they’d place on maps to determine their battle plans. Besides being the oldest continually played board game in human history, it’s also one of the most complex.
In modern times, beating this game became known in the artificial intelligence community as the holy grail. Since the number of possible configurations on the board is larger than the number of atoms in the universe, it was believed computers didn’t have the processing power needed to beat a skilled human player.
Rising to the challenge, scientists built an artificial intelligence program called AlphaGo. The program learned to play by teaching itself, studying more than 100,000 past games. It then played against itself over and over until it was ready to challenge the reigning grandmaster of the game.
In move 37 of the second match, the machine was faced with a decision that would determine the way the rest of the game would be played. There were two apparent choices to be made. Choice A was the kind of move that would signal the computer was playing a game of offense. Choice B would signal it was playing a defensive game.
Instead, the computer decided to make a third move, a move no one steeped in the game had ever made in thousands of years of play. “Not a single human player would choose move 37,” one commentator said. Most thought it was a mistake or simply a bad move.
The grandmaster playing against the machine was so taken aback, he stood up and walked out of the room. He eventually returned, not with his usual confident composure but visibly shaken and frustrated by the experience. In the end, AlphaGo won the game. And that never-been-seen- before move, experts said, was the one that turned the course of the game in favor of the AI.
In the end, the computer won four out of five matches, and the grandmaster permanently retired from competition.
Upon first hearing this story, I found myself in tears, and confused by this sudden swell of emotion. After further reflection, I realized that the story spoke to the power of purity in the creative act.
What was it that allowed a machine to devise a move no one steeped in the game had ever made in thousands of years of play?
It wasn’t necessarily its intelligence. It was the fact that the machine learned the game from scratch, with no coach, no human intervention, no lessons based on an expert’s past experience. The AI followed the fixed rules, not the millennia of accepted cultural norms attached to them. It didn’t take into account the three-thousand-year-old traditions and conventions of Go. It didn’t accept the narrative of how to properly play this game. It wasn’t held back by limiting beliefs.
And so this wasn’t just a landmark event in AI development. It was the first time Go had been played with the full spectrum of possibilities available. With a clean slate, AlphaGo was able to innovate, devise something completely new, and transform the game forever. If it had been taught to play by humans, it most likely wouldn’t have won the tournament.
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I look at this story with a perspective of seeking to find places within ourselves where creation, curiosity, dreams, divine patterns, timing, designs seek to play with us on an individual basis. Have we LEARNED too many human patterns? Have we let our ego run wild and have forgotten the deeper connections and creations within us? Is there a way for us to pull back the habits and conditioning of expectation, perfection, drive and business to begin to slow, seek, dive deeper, listen and try to follow those unexpected surprises and desires that are waiting for our attention.
I don’t know. We are definitely conditioned creatures and society continues to prey on us with trying to sell us on fitting in or creating like everyone else. That is where our attention needs to be. We cannot truly bring anything authentic into the world if we are just creating by following and copying everyone else.
We have every ability to also make unexpected moves or take steps that lead to new learning, destinations, creations, patterns and ideas…we just have to work on believing in our ability and the individual power we have in our own right.
I just had a conversation with my daughter about Instagram and how certain songs create social connections, so there are soo many people on Instagram playing the SAME music, creating the same layouts…to hope to catch other people’s trends and follows. Does that make sense?? Maybe in an automated world. BUT, we are creators, so what is happening to the desire to seek new, create new, delight the senses and awaken another part of the world with NEW content, individual content, creativity that is soulful and is sought out in wonder, awe, creation…
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE seeing people tapping in to nature shots, adding music that touches on deeper levels, catching a glimpse of awe and wonder in a sunrise or sunset. There is so much beauty being shared. I sincerely do love and appreciate so much of it. I just think there can continue to be even more depth when we are tuning in to a higher frequency of divine creativity.
Looking at AI—there is a lot of incredible technology that is just barely tapping the surface. After watching the Oprah special with many BIG players in the AI space, I was honestly more concerned about what bad things will be used and created than anything.
For me, AI can write and construct beautiful sentences, share stories that have detail, make videos that have incredible cinematic visuals, make unexpected moves but what it does not have….HEART. The authentic heart of everything creative that is within every single individual. We are ALL creators, whether you believe it or not. Divine creation and its ability is within us. AI will not ever be able to duplicate that depth of creation.
That is all I am going to say.
May you continue to write from your heart, share your stories, create your art…because no matter what systems can and will be built—the machines will not have YOUR uniqueness or the divine creations YOU will bring to the world.
The ALCHEMIST…Cheers to one of my ultimate favorite books of all time. I constantly give this book as a gift to people. I wanted to remember specific details and quotes of what I deeply loved about this book to gift with a copy for my daughter’s current French boyfriend. I found a great blog that gave some great highlights. Enjoy this read and her great highlights of the book https://begreatglobal.com/why-we-love-the-book-the-alchemist-and-you-should-too/
I also watched a wonderful interview with Oprah and Paulo–I loved hearing the story of how this small book was a hidden treasure that took many years for people to find. This little book has a story of its own…Paulo had it published for the first time over 25 years ago & it did not sell, so the publisher told Paulo he was done with the book. Paulo had written the book in two weeks & knew that it had something to share with the world, so he did not give up on this book. He had faith that doors would open & his book would find its way into the world. He found another publisher who was willing to take a chance on a book that had already been published and had few sales.
25 years later, over 65 million copies, and the most translated book…The Alchemist has won over the hearts of the world. Thank you Paulo. Thank you for a sweet gift that has touched many.
I then heard about Paulo’s book, Hippie [based on part of his life] & I wanted to find some highlights that people shared online. Here are some great quotes I found…Quotes from, Hippie—I gathered from different places on the internet that I thought were worth keeping. Take a note. There is some good stuff! ****my take on the book quotations****
Everyone slept beneath the stars, more time than not jittering with cold but grateful to be able to look to the sky, and know that they could speak with the silence, sleep in the company of angels they could almost see, cease to exist for a few moments- even if it were only fraction of a second- as they felt eternity and infinity all around them. ****Stars just have a way of making everything around you limitless. The blanket of dark hues with the scattered twinkling diamonds seems to hush and humble any question of a greater existence. The divine space within you is awake.****
May God give you … for every storm, a rainbow, for every tear, a smile, for every care, a promise, and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh, a sweet song, and an answer for each prayer.****This is just a beautiful, simple prayer****
Energy is to be found in the tiniest things man encounters in his path; the world is the true classroom, the love supreme knows you are alive and will teach you all you need to know.*****’the LOVE supreme’—I genuinely LOVE this thought. It surrounds you like a warm embrace. It can calm and acknowledge something greater that will be with you, teach you & carry you.****
Years pass faster than you think. Take the risks now when you still have your health and some courage. ****This is an incredibly true statement. Time is a funny capsule of the minutes and moments of life, but as you look back the skew of various things is warped and can easily boggle. For instance, When you have a child, the years seem to go slow, but also speed up very fast. My daughter is grown and in college, but in an instant I can feel like I am right back to those moments where I am holding her in my arms when she would cry or struggle. My daughter just returned from six weeks in New Zealand. I asked her if it went by quickly & she replied, “yes and no.” Time tricks us in to a lull and before we know it, life spins by leaving us breathless with an indispensable awe of how quickly life goes by.****
Those who wish to learn magic ought to begin by looking around them ****There is magic everywhere to be held, appreciated and noticed. Once you begin seeking awe, wonder, and magic…you will find it in the wisp shaped clouds, the silk, soft touch of a rose petal, the whisper of love from the lips of someone you adore, the details, the sounds, the textures, the patterns and timing of this one, beautiful, mysterious life. Simply Magic.****
The worst killing is that which kills the joy we get from life.****JOY is that beautiful, three-letter word that just makes you smile in trying to fully understand its incredible life existence. It is held in the tiny things that make life feel better. It is the feelings we get when we just smile to ourself. It is the grander feelings that make life worth living and I fully grasp this thought of ‘How we could allow anything to come into our life that would kill our JOY’—to KILL JOY that is the lowest form of existence. Without the high-end energies of Love, Joy, Happiness…all the positives in our world that awaken our true nature, our highest self—all that we would be left with is the broken depths of who we are meant to be. Without JOY there is a deeper death within that will be harder to heal. Life smiles in JOY. Life cheers in JOY. We should fight for our JOY and not allow anything to kill or take away that JOY light we have within.****
But he’d just have to figure it out- life is all about figuring it out. *****I completely understand this. I feel like much of my life/marriage has been a lot of ‘figuring it out’ and learning to be flexible—like a palm tree, able to sway and move with the directions life takes you. It can be a beautiful place IF you can actually begin to find and focus on the possibilities, the wonder, the newness of ‘figuring it out.’*****
This chaos was beautiful, it was the font of life, it was how he imagined the universe beyond that place- and also within himself. It was a beauty that wasn’t the fruit of comparison, or prayer or desires- simply a way of living a long life ****I just fell in awe of the way he strung these ideas and words together, ‘the font of life’ or ‘a beauty that wasn’t the fruit of comparison.’ Wow. To have such beautiful visuals of a simple world of beauty without comparison seems out of reach with all of the social media woes. We are living in a chaos of social bubbles, likes, trends…on and on. I appreciate and am taken to a space of beauty that is found in the simple silence, a prayer, a simple life, a font of life that is refreshing…not ‘refreshed’ on my computer. It makes me step back, pull back from the norms and expectations of society and seek a place of simplicity.****
Dancing transforms everything, demands everything, and judges no one. Those who are free dance, even if they find themselves in a cave or a wheelchair, because dancing is not the mere repetition of certain movements, it’s a conversation with a Being greater and more powerful than everyone and everything. To dance is to use a language beyond selfishness and fear. ****I sincerely LOVE dancing & moving my body. There IS a freedom there and when you can get yourself, your mind, your body, your judgements to a place that has no care or reason to shy away from the confines of society—freedom will be found in every movement, breath and exhilaration that comes from the higher connections that seem to radiate like a sky full of twinkling, sparkling stars. There is brilliance in dance.****
Then seek the truth. Seek always to be on its side, even when it brings you pain. There are times when the Truth goes quiet for long stretches, or when it doesn’t tell you what you want to hear.****Truth does have a way of bringing an honest conversation to anything life will put on display for you to live and learn from. Even in the pain, the lessons bring about a depth of humility, emotion that cannot ever be given on a normal day. Those moments of sincere honesty, the corners of the heart that need to share or the emotional cracks that seem to break open—bring another level of growth. It is like the flower that has to grow through the hard, bitter soil to reach the sunlight. We too must be unearthed and free to feel what truth we authentically need for our highest life.*****
The more we allow the world in, the more we receive- be it love, be it hate ****On many levels it is also a choice. Love or Hate is on two ends of any given spectrum of emotion, relationships, thoughts, attitudes, actions, feelings….in everything we do. It is either from a space of good or bad energy—the two opposing spectrums of this big, beautiful life. Love or Hate– it is a choice in all we do.****
The outer self, that which you believe yourself to be. is nothing more than a limiting place, a stranger to the true self. This is why people have such a hard time listening to what their souls are telling them; they try to control the soul so that it does exactly as they have already decided — their wants. their hopes, their futures.****These shells of a body are just the external, not the internal soul that lives from a higher existence and seeks to be guided from a holy place within this world of material wants, needs…things. There is a deeper need that our true self yearns for and whispers to us to be free. Free of the material necessities that are just made up to dress up our worldly existence. The real truth will be free when we go within and find the deeper desires of our blessed, authentic natural, higher, best selves. This is who we need to be seeking–that beautiful, sincere connection to our divine.****
The only things she cared about were solitude and beauty, direct communication with God, and above all a safe distance from the world that she already knew all too well and that no longer held any interest for her. ****I can understand this space. Sometimes all I want to do is walk out in the sacred beauty and calm of all that nature holds. There is a stillness and peace that seems to BE when the world and the people in it can carry chaos, confusion and emotional turmoil. Nature is a natural in seeking God or a higher place for yourself. I can walk in the still confines of my soul and all will seem to be well..bettter.****
I hope that you found something in these Paulo Coelho quotes and my personal thoughts & perspectives to be of value for your day. There are so many places and people full of beautiful wisdom. Seek it in all you do and have it enrich your life to the fullest.
Wow! I just got slapped in the face with an article that screamed at me about my recent conversations with my beloved daughter. We have had soo many conversations that end up going so south because she gets irritated with me, doesn’t want to talk about certain topics, flat out tells me to shut up or stop!…it goes on. It has been so hard and with that, an emotional roller coaster.
The article Women who haven’t grown up emotionally usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it) -geediting.com on google listed these 8 behaviors that were pretty telling with what behaviors my daughter has been sharing—1. Overly Reactive. 2. Difficulty in accepting responsibility. 3. Avoiding difficult conversations. 4. Dependence on external validation. 5. Struggle with empathy. 6. Difficulty in setting boundaries. 7. Impulsive decision making. 8. Perfectionism
Wow. This was VERY eye opening for me. I have this BEAUTIFUL, college-age daughter that leads, guides, works a great job, has soo many great skills, gifts and talents, but I believe her emotional resilience is in need of a some growth before it takes a further toll on her health. I worry for her and her emotional wellness and well-being.
My key takeaways from the article: (my summaries mixed)
—Practice mindfulness to help pause, reflect, and respond rather than react. [SEE practices below]
—Take responsibility
—Tackle discomfort head on is how we grow and get better. Embrace the tricky or uncomfortable conversations will help all of your relationships become stronger.
—Don’t let the craving for external validation rule you. Your feeling good should not hinge on the thoughts or opinions of others.This is another place where mindfulness can help switch from seeking approval on the outside to finding it within. YOUR worth is up to YOU. [ideas below]
—Practice empathy to create deeper connections.
—Honor your own needs and necessities by having your own personal boundaries.
—Perfectionism often stems from fear of rejection or judgment. Its a defense mechanism that can hinder personal growth. Strive for progress not perfection. [See tips on doing this below]
MY ADDITIONAL RESEARCH:
My additional research into this topic to help anyone out there in need of some emotional growth—be gentle. Begin. Here are some additional directions to help…
Emotional maturity means having the self-control to manage your emotions and work to understand them. -betterup
“It is a choice. No matter how frustrating or boring or constraining or painful or oppressive our experience, we can always choose how we respond.” -EDITH EGER
HOW TO IMPROVE EMOTIONAL MATURITY
Develop a GROWTH MINDSET: Focus on continuous self-improvement and growth rather than nitpicking failures and shortcomings.
Set HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: A great sign of standing up for yourself
UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTIONS: When you understand what makes you angry, sad, or excited, you can use that to your advantage instead of retaliating at the first hint of negativity. Ask yourself what makes you mad or uncomfortable and why.
OWN your mistakes: own up and take responsibility for mistakes or errors–dont blame. Next time you make a mistake, apologize for your error without making excuses for yourself. View each mistake as a learning opportunity to expand your skills and learn more about yourself.
Find a ROLE MODEL: Watch as they handle challenging situations and how they respect their emotions. It could give you insight into better habits to form and inspire you to keep working to develop your maturity.
now that you understand what emotional maturity means, you can learn to stop bottling up your feelings and fearing vulnerability. Emotional maturity helps you communicate better with others, have healthier relation. -Betterup article
Mindfulness is about observing how you’re feeling in the moment without judging yourself. -childmind
Identifying the PATTERN is AWARENESS; CHOOSING no to repeat the cycle is GROWTH. -Billy Chapata
HEALTHY HABITS & SELF-CARE can help.
MINDFULNESS tips and suggestions: Go on a walking meditation, begin a gratitude journal, practice mindful eating, do a body scan before bed, listen to a guided meditation, do a loving-kindness meditation, set daily intentions for yourself, get out in nature, identify feelings,
Exercises From Self.com
3 minute Breathing Space Here’s how to practice the “three-minute breathing space” technique, as described by Dr. Vieten:
Set a timer for three minutes.
Sit in a comfortable position if you can (though standing works too), ideally in a relatively calm environment (the bathroom counts), and close your eyes if you want. Notice what’s happening in your mind and body right now. Are you worrying about a problem or mistake? Do you feel warm or cold? Is there a distracting sound in your environment? Simply notice whatever you’re experiencing at the moment.
Bring your full attention to your breath, focusing on the sensation of the air flowing in and out of your body.
Expand your zone of awareness further out from your breathing so that it includes your whole body. You might notice your posture, your facial expression, or areas of muscle tension. Again, simply pay attention to whatever’s going on with your body.
Four-seven-eight mindful breathing The four-seven-eight mindfulness technique is a type of deep breathing exercise. It’s particularly handy for anxiety, as feeling anxious can deregulate our breathing patterns, says Dr. Urgola.8 “This technique can also be helpful if you’re having trouble sleeping,” she adds, since stress can prevent you from nodding off. To practice four-seven-eight mindfulness breathing:
Close your eyes if it feels comfortable. If not, gaze softly gaze at a spot in your environment.
Inhale for a count of four.
Hold for a count of seven.
Exhale for a count of eight.
Make sure you’re breathing deeply, from the pit of your belly (compared to shallow breathing from your chest) so your lungs fill up fully.
Stay with this pattern as best you can.
End the exercise whenever you feel ready to stop.
People watching exercise You can turn your commute or leisurely walk into a mini mindfulness session by noticing strangers around you. When you notice people, it creates an opportunity to detach from your own mental chatter, allowing you to practice awareness without actually meditating.
Take a moment to notice the people around you.
As you observe them, try not to form judgments or stories about them. If your mind starts to judge or assume, try to let those thoughts go and bring your focus back to a neutral awareness.
If you feel comfortable, you can also try engaging one or more strangers. Maybe say hello, make eye contact, or offer a smile.
If not, that’s fine too. Simply observe whoever is currently around you.
Mindful Eating habits: Mindful eating involves paying closer attention to your food and how it makes you feel. In addition to helping you learn to distinguish between physical and emotional hunger, it may also help reduce disordered eating behaviors and support weight loss. Mindful eating is about using mindfulness to reach a state of full attention to your experiences, cravings, and physical cues when eating.
Fundamentally, mindful eating involves:
eating slowly and without distraction
listening to physical hunger cues and eating only until you’re full
distinguishing between true hunger and non-hunger triggers for eating
engaging your senses by noticing colors, smells, sounds, textures, and flavors
learning to cope with guilt and anxiety about food
EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATIONS: Emotions can hit quickly. Become aware of what you are feeling. Name your feelings. [sadness, anger, resentment,—negatives may be hiding underlying fears. Be gentle with yourself and find self-compassion within your emotional reactions. It is okay to not feel okay. Just helping identify what you are feeling is key to understand what emotions and where they are coming from.
7 strategies that can help to manage emotions in a healthy and helpful way. [from better up.com]
—Identify triggers: You shouldn’t try to avoid negative emotions — or be afraid of them. But you also don’t have to keep putting yourself in a situation that brings on unpleasant emotions. Start to look for patterns or factors that are present when you start to feel strong emotions. This requires some curiosity and honesty. Did something make you feel small? Strong emotions often spring up out of our deep-seated insecurities, especially the ones we hide. What is happening around you and what past experiences does it bring up for you?
–Tune into physical symptoms Pay attention to how you are feeling, including whether you are feeling hungry or tired. These factors can exacerbate your emotions and cause you to interpret your emotions more strongly. If you can address the underlying issue (e.g. hunger, exhaustion), you can change your emotional response.
—Consider the story you are telling yourself
—Engage in positive self-talk: When our emotions feel overwhelming, our self-talk can become negative: “I messed up again” or “everyone else is so awful.” If you treat yourself with empathy, you can replace some of this negative talk with positive comments. Try encouraging yourself by saying “I always try so hard” or “People are doing the best they can.” This shift can help mitigate the emotions we’re feeling. You can still be frustrated with a situation that isn’t working but no longer have to assign blame or generalize it beyond the situation.
—Make a choice about how to respond: In most situations, we have a choice about how to respond. If you tend to respond to feelings of anger by lashing out at people, you likely notice the negative impact it is having on your relationships. You might also notice that it doesn’t feel good. Or, it feels good at the moment, but the consequences are painful.
Next time you feel anger or fear, recognize that you get to choose how you want to respond. That recognition is powerful. Rather than lashing out, can you try a different response? Is it possible for you to tell someone that you’re feeling angry rather than speaking harshly to them? Get curious about what will happen if you switch up your responses. How did you feel? How did the other person respond?
–Look for positive emotions: Human beings naturally attribute more weight to negative emotions than positive ones. This is known as negativity bias. Negative emotions, like disgust, anger, and sadness tend to carry a lot of weight. Positive feelings, like contentment, interest, and gratitude are quieter. Making a habit of noticing these positive experiences can boost resilience and well-being.
IT IS OKAY TO NOT FEEL OKAY.
PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION. A few exercises to help with perfectionism: Become aware of your thoughts…journal your thoughts to be able to see and identify what is triggering and creating the behavior. Once you identify, then you can begin to change. Look at your thoughts and question the evidence of if the thoughts are real or have any validity. Let go and allow for mistakes, mis-steps, and help your brain understand that everything will be okay & that it is an opportunity for greater growth mindsets. Help yourself with better self-talk. No one can do it for you, but you. Alter and improve the daily talk that you live with. Your self-talk effects your self-esteem and will lead to a healthier relationship with yourself, others and your overall wellness in life. Become aware and be gentle with your perfectionistic tendencies. When you can acknowledge that you have these deep seeded feelings within & can become aware that this is a deeper problem, you can begin to take action to help yourself. Begin to be gentlein your attitude and actions with what you create, how you work, share ideas, set goals…with an attitude of “this is good enough” and does not have to be perfect. Let go of impossible goals & set reasonable ones for yourself.
Becoming aware of patterns & create a knowing that progress is fluid and ever-changing . Be flexible with yourself and your directions . Begin to LET GO of the pressure and the fear that creates the false need of striving for perfection .
HELPING GET OVER THE NEED FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION: mindfulness meditation [see above] . Affirmations or personal mantras [also helps reduce negative self-talk] . Surround yourself with people who lift and support rather than deplete you emotionally . Take the time to slow down and give yourself the validation you are seeking . Create YOUR own support system…how
A few ideas from Tiny Buddha suggests: making a special “YOU” section in your daily gratitude journal. Write down the things you’ve done well, the choices you’ve made that you’re proud of, the progress you’ve made, and even the things that required no action at all—for example, the time you gave yourself to simply be. When you regularly praise yourself, self-validation becomes a habit you can depend on when you need it the most.
Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”Oftentimes, when we’re feeling down on ourselves, we feel a (sometimes subconscious) desire to punish ourselves. When we reject or deprive ourselves in this way, we exacerbate our feelings, because we then feel bad about two things: the original incident and the pain we’re causing ourselves.
If you’re feeling down, or down on yourself, ask yourself: “What does my body need? What does my mind need? What does my spirit need?” Or otherwise expressed: What will make you feel better, more stable, healthier, and more balanced? You may find that you need to take a walk to feel more energized, take a nap to feel better rested, practice deep breathing to clear your head, or drink some water to hydrate yourself. This is validating yourself in action. Whenever you address your needs, you reinforce to yourself that they are important, regardless of whatever you did or didn’t do previously.
HAVE A TOOL KIT OF GOOD THINGS TO GO TO WHEN OVERWHELM OR EMOTIONS HIT: have a certain number of songs in a ‘stress less’ or ‘calm’ playlist, go for a walk to get out in nature, practice using your senses to calm (To Touch: silly putty, stuffed animal, stress ball, smooth stone, See: coloring book, Happy photos of friends or family or inspiring happy places, Smell: Scented candle, favorite lip gloss or perfume, Hear: Guided meditation, short podcast, favorite song playlist Taste: favorite snack, something sweet and salty, mints or gum, favorite drink) Do certain activities to ground you. Write a loving note to yourself or put in a compliment journal of nice things people have said to you, so when you are feeling down or anxious—you have some kind words to lift you.
Another idea that I shared with my daughter—I gave her a picture of her when she was six years old. I told her to look at the little girl & I asked her, “Would you tell that sweet, beautiful girl all the horrible things you tell yourself? You wouldn’t tell her that ‘she is going nowhere,’ ‘ that she is not happy,’ ‘that she is not where she needs to be in life and should be doing better.'” It was heartbreaking to hear my daughter talk so critiquely of herself. I told her to take the picture of her as a young girl and when she starts to say mean thing to herself or listening to the harsh critic in her head..to look at that picture and tell her, “everything is going to be alright. I love you.”
“When we’re anxious, we get into the cycle of repeating the same thoughts, the same behaviors, over and over again,” says Jennifer Teplin, LCSW, a licensed therapist and the founder of Manhattan Wellness in New York City. “Distraction is grounding and can break us out of those repetitive thoughts.”
Having stuff you can smell, taste, see, touch, or hear is more likely to calm you down and help you focus your thoughts on something tangible at the same time. -jedfoundation.org
I hope these ideas help you or someone you love reach a little higher, be a bit gentler and find the deeper love that we all seek in one way or another. We are all just trying to do our best. We all have different journeys, experiences, struggles…it will get better. Just keep LOVE in your heart.
EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.
Give yourself the LOVE and GENTLE CARE YOU NEED. xoxox. -H
Challenge your path to growth. Try something NEW. It’s a great way to learn new things, to shift energy and empower yourself!
“Something is going to come out of this. Something New. This can end you up in a whole new place–a better place, a much more open place.” -Pema Chodron
With the New Year I thought it would be fulfilling to begin by learning or trying something, anything NEW each day. Each week I am going to post my findings, so then you can learn new things along with me. Feel free to post NEW things you have enjoyed learning too! It should be fun!!
Here we go! I am going to be adding more and more, so I am not going to date them because there will be lots to learn. Look for my posts marked 365 for additional things to learn.
FUN FACT: In chatting with my sister-in-law I learned there is a jellyfish called, “The Immortal Jellyfish” that when it gets scared, its defense mechanism literally reverts and transforms it back into its infant state. It can become “immortal” if the cycle happens over and over again.
Live each day! I read a small excerpt in an Oprah magazine about a woman who had survived 9-11. She had a small, square tattooed on her wrist to remind her that “I am alive.” What could you do to remember this precious gift of life? We are each given daily gifts of life. Live them.
STRETCH! “Our culture places a premium on strength and power and as a result anything that has to do with mobility or stability feels like a waste of time. But the opposite is true. Having a full range of motion actually helps you achieve better results when you perform your regular workouts. Loosening tight and overworked muscles can improve your posture, give you more toned thighs and even make it easier to flatten your abs.” -David Reavy Founder of React Physical Therapy
Everything in your body is constantly reacting to everything else—it is called a Kinetic Chain Theory
5 Must-Do Stretches: Here is a link that has 5 stretches http://www.oprah.com/health_wellness/Reasons-To-Stretch
Cut down on TV Watching more than 2 hours of TV per day can increase your risk of diabetes.
PLAY Stuart Brown MD, describes PLAY as time spent without purpose. Brown believes that Play is at the core of creativity and innovation. Play is anything that makes us lose track of time and self-consciousness, creating the clearing where ideas are born. Create a PLAY list. Write down three activities you could do for hours on end.
“Your real job on earth is to become more of who YOU really are. To live to the highest degree what is pure, what is honest, what is natural, what feels like the real you. Anything less is a faked life. To be authentic is the highest form of praise. You’re fulfilling your mission and purpose on earth when you honor the real you.” -Oprah
That is it for today. HAPPY NEW LEARNING!! Look for more 365 posts.
I wanted to share a few great ideas and big learning on loving yourself and becoming your best. I found the following in a great book by Jo Ann Larsen
“If an individual is able to love productively, he loves himself, too; if he can love only others, he cannot love at all” -Erich Fromm
“If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others.” -Anne Morrow Lindbergh
“Fully loving ourselves also entails recognizing that we, as ever-differentiating human beings, have a right, and a responsibility, to nurture ourselves and to perpetuate our growth.” -Jo Ann Larsen
“We are all in the endless quest of becoming—of creating, with our own chisel, our own masterpiece—that of ourselves.” “We’re all given an assignment in life to discover the ways in which we’re exceptional, and then to live a joyful life.” “God gave us all certain gifts, but it is up to us to decide how to use them in such a way that even the Being who gave them to us will look down one day in admiration and say, ‘Hmmm, I never thought of that way before.” -Bernie Siegel.
“If you have anything valuable to contribute to the world, it will come through the expression of your own personality–that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from any other living creature.” -Bruce Barton
When we view ourselves as “masters” chipping away each day at our own masterpieces, others—as well as ourselves—are beneficiaries, for we can give back amply to the world and to add to its goodness.
Perhaps life’s greatest challenge is to continually refine ourselves so finally at last we do know how to fully live. Speaking of the concerted effort involved in such refining, Harry Emerson Fosdick says, “No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is channeled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.”
As human beings, we are unique and unrepeatable events in the universe. Refining thus becomes a challenge of accepting ourselves as the treasures we are. We may not—in the world’s eyes or our own—come into life supposedly as adorned as others. Nor must we. To be ourselves, to fully develop our own attributes, and to give all that we might, is to stand unadorned—in and of ourselves–as perfect products of nature ever in the process of becoming.
I am very intrigued by the power of the mind, so I thought we could take some good lessons from a few different places. BIG LEARNING should come from a variety of places—movies, legends, amazing interviews. I think I may try to incorporate a new idea of BIG LEARNING & hit topics like the mind/body connection, energy, thoughts, feelings, etc. So, if you see BIG LEARNING—take a look, there is bound to be something you can take away. I will make it a good mix.
There is a great scene in The Princess Bride. Do you remember this movie?? There is a great scene in the Fire Swamp where you have Princess Buttercup feeling quite negative and hopeless, but then you have Westley trying to put a good spin on the situation. It is a great example of…
POSITIVE VS NEGATIVE THINKING, ATTITUDE, PERSPECTIVE…
[Buttercup and Westley have just entered the Fire Swamp]
Westley: It’s not that bad. [Buttercup stares at him in disbelief] Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.
[after Westley rescues Buttercup from the lightning quicksand]
Buttercup:We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley:No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt–no problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup:Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?
Westley:Rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist. [immediately, an R.O.U.S attacks him]
With that great example in mind, here are some great things to put into action and think about. I was listening to a great interview with Pam Grout and I loved her positive outlook, so I wanted to share some of her thoughts…
You can be out looking for problems and train yourself to look for problems or we can get grateful, which then brings more things to be grateful for. It brings more love, joy and peace into your life.
Pam grout wakes up every morning and her motto is…Something Amazingly Awesome is going to happen today!! This attitude and energy help you create new and exciting things for your life. This type of energy wants to create an exciting life. That is why we are here!! To create the good, the holy and the beautiful. We are all creators!
Pam Grout also has a 2.2 Step Process: Number One, wake up and say SOMETHING AMAZINGLY AWESOME IS GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY. Number Two, look for blessings and miracles and then text them to someone.
Whenever I think of positive vs negative, it always reminds me of this great Native American Legend, Two Wolves
An old cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good–he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside of you—and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
I love that metaphor & it is a good visual to remember when you are having a mental struggle. Just ask yourself, Which Wolf are you feeding?
I hope these thoughts give you something good to think about.
Well, little bits of BIG LEARNING is always a good thing, so take it, make it yours in your life and enjoy.
FUN FACT: In chatting with my sister-in-law I learned there is a jellyfish called, “The Immortal Jellyfish” that when it gets scared, its defense mechanism literally reverts and transforms it back into its infant state. It can become “immortal” if the cycle happens over and over again.
Live each day! I read a small excerpt in an Oprah magazine about a woman who had survived 9-11. She had a small, square tattooed on her wrist to remind her that “I am alive.” What could you do to remember this precious gift of life? We are each given daily gifts of life. Live them.
STRETCH! “Our culture places a premium on strength and power and as a result anything that has to do with mobility or stability feels like a waste of time. But the opposite is true. Having a full range of motion actually helps you achieve better results when you perform your regular workouts. Loosening tight and overworked muscles can improve your posture, give you more toned thighs and even make it easier to flatten your abs.” -David Reavy Founder of React Physical Therapy
PLAY Stuart Brown MD, describes PLAY as time spent without purpose. Brown believes that Play is at the core of creativity and innovation. Play is anything that makes us lose track of time and self-consciousness, creating the clearing where ideas are born. Create a PLAY list. Write down three activities you could do for hours on end.
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