Family – Page 4 – yourhappyplaceblog

Summer Bucket List to do with your Family

Published on May 6, 2013May 23, 2013 by goforthegood13 Comments

With less than a month before the kids get out of school I thought it would be fun to compile a giant bucket list of fun summer things to do. Summer inspires FUN!! Everyone needs SUMMER FUN no matter where you are or where you are going…so here are some fun ideas I created, came across, thought would be fun, thought you may enjoy!!!

Make smoothies with fresh, summer fruit . fly kites—even homemade ones . play card games outside on a blanket . take a paddle boat ride . have a outdoor movie (always fun) . make old fashioned frozen pops (with punch & toothpicks) . have a day where you have a family read-a-thon and read books all day . go on a nature hike . have a chalk art day where you invite friends and family to do a chalk art sidewalk show & have the best art win fun prizes . make smores over an open fire . have a picnic under the stars & learn about constellations . make tin foil meals over a fire . make a hopscotch with duct tape or chalk & play . Have a day of old school games like jacks, dice, marbles, jump rope, pick up sticks . Make a fun fort outside or inside (forts are always fun!) . make homemade sno-cones . Visit a zoo, but turn it into a scavenger hunt where you look for different objects & animals . go on a family bike ride & take along a picnic . play night games like flash light tag . go to the river & find skipping rocks, come home & paint them with funny faces, patterns or inspiring words . Get family & friends together and have a giant hide & seek game at a local park . make home made ice cream . Find a local waterfall to hike to . girls pick out a cute sundress & then paint your nails . Plant something–have every member of the family pick out their own flower & plant it, water & take care of it (family flower garden) . Have a family pizza night & make everything from scratch . Go on an overnight camp out . Have a day (preferably bad weather) & have a movie or series marathon–veg out & watch the shows (non-stop) for the entire day (i.e.: Star Wars, Harry Potter, Back to the Future, etc) . Have a pillow fight night- but first make the pillows (buy fleece & make knot pillows for each person in the fam) then have a fun fight . Make something and share it with someone . Leave the windows open & feel the breeze (plus it helps the planet cut down on energy use) . Have a creative ice cream night where everyone mixes all their favorite mix ins & shares their one-of-a-kind flavor . Find a pool & go night swimming . See the sun set over a lake . Find a special spot to see the sun rise . Have a fun yard sale & get rid of old toys & things you don’t need & then give the money to a charity or someone in need . Play in the sprinklers . Buy cheap cameras for everyone & visit a local garden, have them take personal pictures, create a fun gallery, assign family ‘best’ awards . Have a storytelling contest–get friends & family together to share stories & give fun awards for ‘the most creative’ ‘the funniest’ ‘the best characters’ ‘the shortest’, etc . Make pinwheels & put them in your yard . Have a fun ice age day, freeze toys in ice cubes & chip them out while you watch the movie Ice Age . Have an all day Pajama day . Have a squirt gun fight . Make summer journals . Make & decorate wood cars & have a fun, family race . Make & mail summer cards to friends from school or relatives who live far away . Visit a local nature center & learn something new . Make bird feeders, get your binoculars out & do some bird watching . Visit a local flea market & give each family member $5 to spend & see who comes up with the greatest find . Have a fun foreign word or phrase for each week–see who can remember it at the weeks end . Have a specific day each week where you unplug (no television, games, electronics, etc) . Have special Art days where you create special works of art inspired by master artists . Go take photo booth family pics . Do a 500/1000 piece puzzle together over the summer months . Take a specific number of pictures over the whole summer (i.e. 300-1,000) . Try something new like canoeing, rafting, rollerblading, kayaking, paddleboarding, etc . Go to a community fair . Find a local scenic route you have never taken the family on & make it a fun family drive together . Have a weekly cooking class where you teach the kids a special meal to make (they cook it) . Have a fondue night . Have a crepe night where you make sweet & savory crepes . Have a paper airplane contest . Go to a parade . Visit a local farm . Go to a pottery place & make a fun summer piece that is personalized . Plant giant sunflowers . Go see and outdoor concert or play . Ride a train . Camp in the backyard . Make ribs on the bbq . Do yoga in the backyard . Make play dough . Visit a museum . Finger paint . Take a tram or gondola ride . Ten acts of random kindness .

Well, I hope these ideas get you thinking about all the FUN you can have with your family this summer. Summer is a great place to create memories, make the days enjoyable by learning something new, being together and having great moments together!!

Happy SUMMER!!

What do your kids REALLY NEED?

Published on April 5, 2013May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Lately my husband and I have been back and forth on our concern about moving our ten-year-old daughter from a home she loves and the close proximity to her cousins and family for an out-of-state job position. We are in the middle of making the decision to keep a steady income with the possibility of moving or taking a less paying job and staying. It has been a roller coaster of pros and cons. So I thought I would do some research on what children really need…their REAL needs vs COMFORT needs. So, here are some of my findings, mixed in with my own thoughts and feelings. Hopefully these ideas will help encourage you to invest a little more in the children within your life.

CONVERSATION: I strongly believe kids need to be heard and when you truly listen there is a stronger investment in the relationships. Talk to your kids regularly, don’t be too quick to fix their problems or tell them what you would do. Listen and allow them to get out their feelings, to see that you are truly engaging in their needs and concerns. This will help them to always open up and talk. Try and see yourself in their childlike shoes. What may seem like a small problem, to them may be a big experience—listen and empathize. Help love them through.

Tips & Tricks: Have a highlight moment of the day & ask your kids what were the highlights of their day. Play a get to know you even better game in the car & have fun questions for one another. Have fun family questions on the dinner table to pick and choose from when you have a quiet moment together.

CONNECTION: I have heard time and time again that kids who feel closely connected to their parents that they want to cooperate. There are many things to consider when talking about connection like play, hugs and affection, getting rid of outside distractions, etc. It is easier to ask your child to get out of bed in the morning if you spend a few minutes snuggling in bed with them or read them something inspirational before sleep. My daughter loves it when I tickle and rub her arms, we also have personal back scratches that create waterfalls, rainbows, rose petals, raindrops…that help soothe and relax her. Its a good way to connect and help her feel safe. Be present with your child. Focus on being with them then and there. You only have so much time with your child until they are all grown up and move on, so be with them, listen to them, connect with them on any and every level.

Tips & Tricks: According to many sources—people needs 8 hugs a day. So think about, plan it out and give those hugs to those you love…morning, noon and night, just because & always to say “I Love you.” I came across a good quote to remember Focus on CONNECTING, not just CORRECTING.

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” -Virginia Satir

PRAISE & APPRECIATE: Notice the little details in moments of greatness. When you as a parent are awarded a piece of art done by your little one, take a moment and look at the details, comment on the great use of colors, the pattern, the background. Don’t just respond with “great drawing.” Always try to point out the good moments in any situation. My daughter is constantly at odds with cousins touching her stuff and playing with things without asking. I have to talk her through those moments & point out how well she handled the little kids with kindness and patience. Make sure you take special moments to praise your little ones in front of your spouse. Since my husband travels a lot it is fun to sit down together and talk about all the highlights he missed while he was gone. Be silly & make some noise–kids really do LOVE the attention when you yell their name as they jump out of the car and run to the school or when they are performing and you whistle loud and scream their name. Create moments of celebration–whether you have a special dinner in honor of entering reflections, or give a gold coin for good behavior, honor your child for being the special person they are.

Tips & Tricks: Have a special spot (fridge, personal bulletin board, special shelf) to allow children to shine and share their artwork or a outstanding test. Make a special book each year that you include their artwork and special tests, write a special letter & make it a cherished keepsake.

PLAY: have nicknames, special handshakes & songs you make up together. Play creates moments of rituals and tradition. We have special songs we sing for Halloween that we made up together, we have recently created a special “Fairy Day” for the first of May, because fairies have been a special addition to our whimsical world of imagination. My daughter comes home with fun handshakes and teaches them to me & our nicknames go on and on depending on the mood of the day.

Tips & Tricks: Take time to create moments of play together—make fairy houses out of sticks and acorns, tickle each other for the television remote, put puzzles together and make candy bets during card games. Have fun and PLAY!

QUIET TIME: Have some special quiet time as a family. Take 15-30 minutes or more and sit down together–read, write in your journals, meditate, go on a walk, do something that takes you away from the noise of the day. Children need your undivided attention, but they also need quiet spaces. Your time and attention is so vital to the relationship between you and your child. Taking this time together will be able to mend wounds, heal hurts, create moments that will open up conversations and will ultimately take care of any need that arises.

Tips & Tricks: Give your child a special place in their room that is a good reading corner. Have a great chair or pillow where they can read, write, be still. My daughter has just began to write in her journal each night before bed. Yeah!! Create opportunities of quality time with your child. Have a special day each week where you go out together. Have daily quiet time where you just talk or read together.

Additional Tips & Tricks from an Expert: According to Dr. Harley Rotbart, author of No Regrets Parenting–Turning Long Days and Short years into Cherished Moments for your Kids, he said this…

What do kids really need from their parents?

1. Security–Kids must feel safe and sound. This means providing them with basic survival needs (shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm)

2. Stability–Stability comes from family and community.

3. Consistency–Parents must synchronize their parenting. No “good cop, bad cop.” Consistency also means that important values should not be changed casually or for convenience.

4. Emotional Support–Parents words and actions should facilitate kids trust, respect, self-esteem, and independence.

5. Love–Saying and showing you love your kids can overcome almost any parenting “mistake” you might make. Even when kids have disobeyed, angered, frustrated, and rebelled against you, they must know that you love them and that you’ll always love them.

6. Education–Make sure your kids get the best possible education for their future. This, of course, includes school. But it also includes the valuable lessons about life that you provide during the time you spend together.

7. Positive role models–Parents are their kids first and most important role models. Be the kind of person you want them to become.

8. Structure–Rules, boundaries, and limited: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.

Well, I hope these ideas will spark some motivations to do more with your little ones. Happy Parenting. Happy Day. -Heather

Your Happy Family

Published on January 17, 2013May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Family is a loving gift to me. It is the people who complete our lives. It is only me, my husband and our nine-year-old daughter, Kate that complete our circle, so we are “the three musketeers.” We have a lot of fun together, but with an only child you also get moments of question. I have literally had people tell me how cruel it is to only have one child, that she will grow up spoiled and alone, so needless to say, there are times when I wonder if we are doing it right, if we are enough to guide her along to the life she needs.

In Utah, you rarely find anyone who has less than four children, it is truly amazing and I commend every mother and father out there who takes on the challenge and makes it a good ride. Cheers to you!! But there is something fun when you meet someone who has been an only child, you instantly want to get to know them, to hear that their life was good and that your child will turn out great despite the fact that she is the only one.

We met a nurse at our local hospital who had an instant connection with Kate because he was an only child. He talked about how fun it was growing up so close to his family, going on great trips (because they could afford to with less children), he enjoyed being an only child. There was a moment of relief for me as he told us about his childhood experiences. There are always the positives and the negatives in everything, so it made me realize, that it is the quality time together that in the end matters most. I knew that, but seeing a grown, only child who spoke of cherished moments with his parents really hit home. No matter what, it’s the time together with one child or ten. Those are the moments that will stay with them, that will teach them as they grow, that will nurture them into the beautiful people they will become.

So here is to our families…here is a compilation of tips, tricks and things to bring your family together to make special memories that will be remembered.

GOOD QUALITY FAMILY TIME

Make memories together out of any occasion: at our house we try to create an occasion out of many things…when we bought our daughter her first pair of roller-skates, we celebrated with a fun movie night of popcorn and ‘Xanadu’—classic rollerskating movie musical!! She loved it! Pulling a tooth may require a special drum roll on our keyboard. We create special made up songs for different holidays and sing them during the special month. We play pretty music and light a candle for a bath or shower to make it a special occasion. We bundle up and go on winter walks during the first snowfall. We pile up fall leaves and make a nest for a special family picture…the ideas are endless, you just need to make the occasions special with your family in mind.

Make sure you take the time to eat together: With crazy schedules and mad dashes to the local market or tennis practice, are you making time to eat together? Whether you plan a special Saturday breakfast or you eat dinner together (at least once a week), make it a priority. We have a special Saturday breakfast where we make muffins, scrambled eggs, hash browns. We sit around the table and ask each person what they are grateful for and it turns into a weekly Thanksgiving. Make your meals memorable. Have the kids help set the table & let them make handwritten place cards (my little girl loves this). Have fun themes for special occasions. Enjoy the time being together.

Plan a fun family weekend getaway: Whether it is to a town two hours away you have always wondered about, a local museum, amusement park, air show, train show, etc. Find out about fun activities going on around you. Try and stay within a few hours of your home and seek out great camp spots, art, music, watermarks, beaches, FUN!! Discuss with everyone where they would like to go and plan a weekend trip. Try to include at least one thing everyone would like to do—get a carmel apple, hike Mt. Timp, have breakfast at Kneaders, etc. Someone may want to sleep in or go on a hike, try to plan something that gets everyone excited for the weekend. Most importantly, have a great time together!!

Create family traditions: See my blog post on that.

Have a family night: Each week or at least once a month have a fun family night–play games, go to your favorite local pizzeria, get chinese take-out, visit the grocery store and buy all the ingredients for a new meal to try together. You can even shake it up and let someone in the family decide the activity and be in charge each week or each month.

Have Quiet time: No matter how old your children are, scheduled quiet time is a good idea. Set a specific time for everyone to turn off the television, computer, video games and either talk, read, tell a story, share things that were highlights from the day, things you appreciate about one another. Schedule a time that will not interfere with homework, friends or activities–most likely before bed or if you find it too hard—try it once a week on Saturday or Sunday morning. Take the time to tune out noise, to get quiet. We do a couple of different things…write in a family gratitude journal three things we were grateful for during the day. Then we either tell a story, read a book or a small devotional just before we go to sleep and then say a evening prayer of thanks for the day. We try to also schedule in reading and quiet time. An interesting fact: The CEO of Disney read for an hour a day when he was a child.

GETTING CREATIVE WITH YOUR FAMILY

Creativity is a celebration of one’s grandeur, one’s sense of making anything possible. ~Joseph Zinker

Look for inspiration in all you see and do: To believe and then truly see inspiration in all things is a gift indeed. Whether you notice the pattern of a leaf, see the texture of bark, watch the wind blow across a corn field, see a work of art in a winding stairwell or hear a song within the subway—look, listen and live the inspiration that is all around you. The textures, the colors, the shimmering beads, the torn magazine pages, the sky, the sand at the beach…inspiration is everywhere!

Take time to explore nature: When you step into nature there is a world of inspiration ready to unfold. Take the time to pick up pinecones, acorns, leaves and see their pattern and textures. Feel the grass, pick up feathers, touch the branches of a tree, watch the water glisten, draw in the sand.

Be inspired by all that is around you and begin to understand your smallness in the infinite & know inspiration and creativity are a gift. Embrace the very thought that you are creative and that you are creating with forces that are bigger than you can imagine. You are creating for many, you are giving of your gifts. Teach your family to feel within and take inspiration from all that is around them.

One fun thing about nature is the magic of possibilities. One thing my daughter and I did was collect little acorns, twigs, small pebbles, leaves, etc and made a special fairy house that she loves and adores. We will always have the treasured memory of finding things in nature and then making something magical.

Family drawing and writing time: I love this idea. Make time each week, or every day to sit down with your family and let go creatively. If someone wants to write or color, or paint…have some time around the table to chat, enjoy colors, look at flowers and create. Give opportunities to explore different mediums of chalks, charcoal, watercolors, calligraphy, ink, colored pencils, crayon, etc.

Family music time: This is fun. Let go. Either turn on some fun tunes and just dance, sing or play funny grooves on the keyboard. Let go!! Shine.

Display your family art pieces: Have a special area to display your art. Whether you pick your best and frame them or you have a special magnetic gallery, a hallway or book. Have a special place to enjoy your art. One thing I love to do is to save up ten of my little ones favorites from the year and then I scan them into my computer and have a special yearly book made with her beautiful art pieces and favorite photos from the year. I write a note of Thanks for her being in my life and for all the beauty and creativity that she shares and I give it to her for Thanksgivig. It is a special tradition with great meaning & it makes giving thanks even more memorable.

Family arts & crafts show: Have a annual or bi-annual family arts and craft show. Have extended family join in the fun and have a show. Make it a occasion with a brunch or goodies. Have all the grandkids share their art and explain the meaning of their piece of art. You could also have a small, personal family show for family night or a special occasion within your home.

Take pictures: This advice is good any time. Taking pictures is good for inspiration, memories, images you want to be creative with, or just want to share with those you love. There is beauty all around and photographs are a good way to capture your inspiration. Just have fun!

FUN FAMILY MOVIES

Movie night is always a classic fun at our house, so I am including some of our favorites and then a list from a few other sources. Enjoy!! Some of our favorites:

The Family Man (2000) is a great movie that is about a man who truly learns what is most important .

The Princess Protection Program (Disney 2009) is a great movie that teaches many good morales–kindness, believing in yourself, helping others, being princess like.

The Game Plan, Nancy Drew, Dreamer, Ever After, The Wizards of Waverly Place Movie (adventure), Nim’s Island, Nanny McPhee, The Parent Trap (old and new versions), Ella Enchanted, I could go on and on…The Kid, Freaky Friday, Tangled, and National Treasure Series (gets you thinking and kids interested in American history)…

According to Parents.com their Top 10 Family Movie Classics

1 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) 2 Ella Enchanted (2004) 3 E.T. (1982) 4 Freaky Fiday (2003)

5 Harry Potter 6 The Sound of Music (1965) 7 Spy Kids (2001)

8 Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971) 9 Whale Rider (2003) 10 Wizard of Oz (1939)

An article from Belief.net lists Family Movies that Teach Values

This article lists: It’s A Wonderful Life (teaches responsibility), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (teaches Integrity), A Man for All Seasons (teaches Courage), Babe (teaches Courtesy), Remember the Titans (teaches tolerance), Toy Story 2 (teaches loyalty), Akeelah and the Bee (teaches learning), War Games (teaches Peace), A Little Princess (teaches Helping Others), Holes (teaches Fairness)

According to IMDb they listed the top “Family Titles”. I will list their top 10 1. Up (2009) 2. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) 3. Wall-E (2008) 4. Anand (1971) 5. Some Like it Hot (1959) 6. Safety Last (1923) 7. Vuk (1981) 8. The Cameraman (1928) 9. The Wizard of Oz (1939) 10. The Kid (1921)

FUN FAMILY VACATIONS

Family vacations are a must to create happy family connections and memories. Here is a list according to TravelChannel.com — they listed their top ten family destinations as:

1. Atlantis Resort, Paradise Island, Bahamas 2. Snowbird Ski & Summer Resort, Snowbird, Utah (been here & love it!) 3. Tanque Verde Ranch, Tuscon, Arizona 4. Hilton Waikoloa Village in Hawaii 5. Kingsmill Resort, Williamsburg, Virginia 6. Circus, Circus, Las Vegas, Nevada 7. Out ‘n’ About Treesort, Takilma, Oregon 8. Club Med Ixtapa in Mexico 9. La Costa Resort in Carlsbad, CA 10. Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge, Orlando, Florida

Would love to hear about any of your family favorites. We just went to the Redwoods this past summer with our daughter and her cousin. They loved staying on the ocean (the cool Oregon coast, which can be sunny & then rainy–they loved it) and then visiting the giant Redwood trees. It was a great trip!!

A funny thing about kids is they just want to be together, having family quality time. We take our daughter to Disneyland each year, but when you ask her what her favorite trip is…she will say going to the Canadian Rockies (which it was fall & freezing) and staying in a tiny cabin on Moraine Lake where we had a fire and made a log cabin out of blocks. It is the quality time that really matters most.

No matter what you are doing, planning, or creating with your family, just take the time to incorporate being present and the moments will last a lifetime.

Cheers to your Happy Family.

Seize the day…every blessed moment

Published on January 8, 2013February 15, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

The fragility of life seems to be ringing all around me. The many things we seemingly take for granted…so many sobering stories hit me with such a need to be grateful for every little detailed gift we receive each day. We don’t think about hugging our kids, or kissing them in their bed & not a hospital bed. We don’t think about the gift of strong knees that can run or a happy outlook that keeps our day filled with joy.

These are the stories that have been ringing in my ear the last couple of days. Maybe they will help you stop for a moment and ponder the many blessings we take for granted…

Friends and neighbors were all praying, cheering, texting and conveying their need and support for Justin Bieber to visit a local seven-year-old girl who is struggling with her third round of Leukemia. Everyone waited in anticipation to receive a picture of Justin with this little girl in the hospital the night of his concert. Thank you Justin! It was a very sobering thought looking at this little girl with sunken eyes, dark circles, life slowly drifting away and thinking about what her mother must be going through in trying to give comfort, hope and faith for her daughter’s young life. I wondered how I would handle my nine-year-old grappling with such an illness. I thank God for my healthy daughter and send prayers of hope to this young family.

The very next day I heard another story about a woman with two young children who had got a babysitter to go on a bike ride one afternoon with her husband. She had a small bike wreck, her helmet had a dent the size of an orange, that left her paralyzed from the neck down. I instantly thought of the heartache you would feel not being able to hug your children, to wrap your arms around your husband, to skip down a path with your little ones, to make them breakfast, to hold a book and read them stories. My heart broke for this women, for the very thought of what she could and could not do, the depression she would deal with, the moments where you would miss your life while striving to embrace your new existence. How hard it must be to embrace an existence that leaves you immobile, fragile, feeling worthless and unable to do so many things. I can’t imagine. I pray for her family.

Then, if that was not enough heartache, my little neighbor came over and shared a story about a funeral she had just been to. It was for a mother of six children who had gone in for knee surgery. She returned home. One day she began to feel ill, yelled to her son to get his father. She looked at her husband and told him she felt like she was dying and passed out. She had a blood clot get into her lungs and she was gone. The family was left to miss her.

You just never know when or how or what will be your time. These stories shook me to my core and in sharing them I hope they give you a moment of sobering existence into the charmed life you have at this moment. Embrace your children, kiss your loved ones, dance in the kitchen, go outside, sing, smell the fresh air, breathe, yell, play, live your life to its best. Take each moment and cherish it, find every happiness possible in the little things that make life big!

Live your best day!! your best moment!

God bless these families in all they do. -Heather

Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live. ~Attributed to Jacqueline Winspear

A beautiful gift to give

Published on November 15, 2012May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

The holidays should not focus on the opening of the gifts, but opening our hearts to those we care about.

The process.

If you can give your child one gift…give the gift of your loving words, your prayers for their life, your belief in who they are and the beautiful potential you see in them. Writing a loving letter is a perfect way to express all these things. It is a gift they will cherish and have the rest of their lives. Write as often as you feel necessary (once a year, every six months, as a Christmas present, on their birthday, a special occasion, etc.) You choose the timeline that fits for you.

A few different style ideas:

1. You can just write a letter describing things you love about your child, special memories, their favorite toys, movies, songs, books at this particular age. Include funny things they say, activities they are participating in, how they are doing in school, events they have enjoyed attending, their friendships, their dreams, etc.

2. You can also put a scrapbook heart in the center and branch off of it specific details you love about your child and then write a letter below. Add small pictures to the page (you can have mini pictures 2×3 printed at Walgreens–probably anywhere) that would add to your letter. You can decorate the page in colorful markers, add favorite song lyrics, quotes, words, memories, etc.

Share the Love.

There is no question of the special bond that ties a child and mother, but these letters would be a beautiful gift to anyone. Write one to your spouse, a friend, mother, grandmother, Heavenly Father or to youself (you are important and need to feel loved—even by your own words)

Take the time to share feelings, life lessons, thoughts and inspiration, gratitude, gifts of this life. The people who are part of your life add the little details, the conversations, the heartache, the experiences…they are the witness to your life. Sharing with them the love you have within, makes living more valuable. It creates a full circle of love that continues to grow, sharing in love and leaving letters of remembrance. It is a beautiful gift.

Happy gift giving. Would LOVE to hear about the gift you love giving during the holiday season.

A time for family rituals

Published on November 5, 2012February 15, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

The very word RITUAL is derived from an Indo-Eurpoean root, means “to fit together”

Family therapist Ron Taffel asked kids (nursery school -sixth grade) “What is your favorite thing to do?” 80 percent–four out of five–cited everyday rituals with their parents.

By using rituals, we help ourselves and our children make better sense of the world. They begin to regard even the mundane—a bath or a family dinner–as sacred moments of connection and togetherness. -Family Rituals by Barbara Biziou

A December 2002 review of 32 studies affirms that family routines (such as bedtime, chores, and dinner time) and family rituals (such as birthdays, Christmas celebrations, and family reunions) are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents’ sense of personal identity, academic achievement, children’s health, and stronger family relationships. From About.comUpdated: November 24, 2003

November and December are big months for bringing family together, so I am going to take a few days to share some ideas to bring rituals into your family life.

Take some time to create rituals as a family.

EVERYDAY RITUALS

Make sure everyone is included on creating the rituals and traditions used within your home. The more invested each member is on the planning and creating, the more meaningful it will become. You may go to the soccer games, the dance lessons…but the quality time is within the home. Make the time, plan the memories…its a family thing. Family should come first!

Mealtime Blessings:

“We all know that sharing food is the ultimate symbol of nurturing and togetherness.”

Decorating the table: make the table beautiful—candles, flowers, thought…You may have a special item (goblets, candlesticks, china, decor) that is only used when you eat together as a family.

Prayer: You may want to hold hands while praying, or have a special prayer that you share together.

Breakfast–Use breakfast as a time for a early morning break. Encourage the family to quiet their mind, enjoy the meal before a busy day.

Weekly Family Dinner: Have a specific time each week (at least) to share a family dinner. Give everyone an opportunity to plan the whole meal, the decor, the theme, the job assignments, etc.

Ex: Mom may love a flower theme (flowers, china, manners, dressing up, classical music, etc),

Brother may want a soccer theme (soccer ball center piece, BBQ, game plan for place mats, etc), Sister may want a tea party (tea cups, little sandwiches, dolls & stuffed animals as guests, etc), Dad may want a mustang theme (model cars for the center piece, BBQ ribs, Mustang fun facts for table, 60’s music, etc). Have fun with the planning and the whole idea of family connection.

DInner fun: You can have a family dinner fun…have a jar with random questions or buy the family dinner games Family Time Fun Dinner Games and Activities by FamilyTime Fun–there are even conversation cards.

Family Unity:

Hold a family meeting once a week–schedule the time to be together as a family to talk, to listen, to be with one another. Everyone is free to discuss whatever is on their mind. Report weekly events.

Plan upcoming holidays, activities, ideas that will help connect the family.

You may want to incorporate a talking stick—get together to make the family stick and talk about how it will be used during family weekly meetings. The idea…whoever is holding the stick has the right to speak. No one is allowed to interrupt or criticize the speaker. Have the family paint their names, decorate it, make it your own. Before incorporating the talking stick into family meetings make sure everyone understands how it is used. This stick is to allow anyone and everyone to share whatever is on their mind (frustrations, good things, or anything they would like to get off their chest) Stress that no one will be criticized or punished for any wrongdoing and that using the stick is not a time to “get” someone else. It is to help share feelings without interruption, to heal hurts and bring connection through emotions and the feeling of safety within the home.

This is also a good way to stop daily arguments or fights—simply tell the children…I do not want to hear about this right now, it sounds like something that should be brought up during our family meeting.

Family Vision Board: have everyone select pictures that are meaningful to them on a personal level (ie: soccer, ballet, new job, a home, a garden, thoughts, quotes, family connection, etc) pick your favorites and create a family vision board that is put somewhere for everyone to see, to think about.

Share history: help your children to know and understand what it was like when you were growing up–what you did and didn’t do, activities you participated in..your history. Kids love to hear stories about you & them!!

Also share the meaning(s) behind symbols within holidays—the symbols of a christmas tree, why eggs are used at easter, candy-canes, etc. The history of different meanings within the holidays.

Weekly Chores and Pizza–have a specific time each week to do family chores together and then order pizza. You could also incorporate daily chores into the overall weekly goal…they do their chores every day and on Saturday night they get pizza.

Play Day–have a weekly ‘play’ activity with the family. Try to make it the same day and time each week and rotate who chooses the activity. Ex: Friday Night Fishing Night—pretend fishing game with fun goodies attached.

OR this could also be a day you keep your kids home from school and play hooky (maybe do this once every six months) and spend the day playing games, eating in bed, doing whatever you want as a family. I call these special days “Mommy/Missy Days” (since I have a young daughter) but you could have a special name for them too.

Date night–This goes for mom & dad–at least once a week, BUT you also need to schedule some “Daddy/Daughter” or “Mommy/Missy” or “Father & Son” “Mommy & Me” dates. Try to take each child on a special date at least once a month—it doesn’t have to be anything huge…a special trip to get ice cream, to go to the mall to window shop, an evening walk…something that just gets the two of you connecting.

Little things–Saturday morning cartoons & a big pancake breakfast, Dad takes the kids to buy donuts on Saturday morning while mom sleeps in, after the dentist/doctor go play skeeball at Chucky Cheese or go for ice cream, a monthly breakfast to IHOP for crepes, create a FAMILY playlist of songs that play in the car (a little something everyone will enjoy), warming up coats in the dryer on a cold morning, or the simple act of throwing a towel or robe in the dryer before someone gets out of the bath/shower, writing love notes on napkins that are going in lunches or a simple “I LOVE YOU” in lipstick on a bathroom mirror at the beginning of the week. Helping your kids with responsibility—chores and allowance.

Quiet time: every evening before bed…homework done, nice music playing, alone time, everyone is quiet…journaling, relaxing, unwinding from the day.

Weekly service: Choose someone who needs a little cheer and make them cookies or take an elderly neighbor their favorite fast food sandwich and shake, take an inspiring note or story to a special teacher or friend.

Shake up your family night: Have a camp-in where you bring in the tent, sleeping bags and light a fire, have smores, tell stories….or make a huge tent in your living room out of blankets and have pizza…OR do something you would not ordinarily do, like go to the symphony or an art museum or see a prof. sporting event.

Play Genie: Grant three small wishes to each family member on starred calendar days. (Be prepared to have quesadillas for breakfast or go to the movies on a school night.)* Real Simple

Bedtime:

Nightime– Saying prayers, reading a book, singing a song or simply relaxing helps ease into bedtime.

Create a ritual to sing a special goodnight song. Give your child a special foot massage while talking to them about the ‘highlights’ of their day. Is there a special story to share or special back scratches.

Special Bedtime Buddy: have a special buddy to help create security and safety through the night.

Highlights of the day: talk about the highlights of the day while unwinding into bed.

Dream Pillow: Make a special dream pillow–you can spray a scent like lavender to help with sleep. This pillow is to help with sweet dreams–if your child talks about fears or concerns with their day, express that sleep will take them away and the dream pillow will bring good dreams.

Nightly Ritual: special foot massage or back scratches

Goodnight prayer.

For adults or older children:

To release the day…No clutter or work in your bedroom. Cover any television or computer screen with a beautiful cloth and begin to quiet your mind.

Have a special journal or notebook to write down any worries or concerns from the day.

Self-love journal: I created a self-love journal for my daughter, a friend and a niece. I wrote questions throughout that would help them reflect on their day, their thoughts, their dreams, their personal ideas, etc. It is a fun gift to give for many occasions. Take the time to write questions they can answer. It will be a gift to themselves.

Breathe in and out. Write your worries. Rip the worries out of your notebook, crumble and burn or toss.

Light a candle and write down everything you accompished throughout your day–things you are grateful for, special highlights…the good things within your day.

You will end up with a beautiful notebook of good things within your life.

Say a prayer of thanks and blow out the candle to let go of the stress and sleep in bliss.

Well, that is all for today. I will continue with more ideas tomorrow.

Happy creating! Heather