You always hear the wisdom in not getting attached to THINGS, but we are human and we do. We have been asked many times, “If there was a fire or an evacuation, what would be the most important items you would grab?”
It is a very interesting thought process, but in reality, do you really know?
Exactly two years ago we downsized and sold everything besides what we could fit into a small, 8 x 10 moving trailer. After almost 30 years of marriage, we had a lot of stuff. You begin to go through your things and see the attachment you have to them—It was very hard to let go of some of my daughter’s childhood toys because of the memories they hold. Boxes of childhood art, photo albums, report cards, crafts that were made, etc had to be put on phone photos for the memories. We could not hold onto everything—it did not make sense.
When we first moved to Oregon there had been a major fire in a surrounding area, so many people had been effected and had lost their homes. One of the people who came to do some construction on our home was one of those people. It was the perfect opportunity to ask them, “So, in a fire evacuation situation—what did you grab?” The woman looked at me, “My expensive jeans! My body is hard to find jeans that fit.” I smiled and was taken back by her answer. Everyone has their necessities! haha.
Another situation—one of our new neighbors just moved back to Texas last week. They had been packing up their stuff into a large, cargo bin that was going to travel by train to their new destination. My husband is very good friends with the husband, Don. My husband had gone over and helped Don finish up their packing with the heavy lifting of some fine furniture. One of the pieces Don had spent $7,000 on an Amish table that he had custom made. My husband teased that they had to move and lift this table with such care, like it was a million dollar table. Their moving cargo bin was as full as it could possibly be with stuff they had been moving and buying for years. Everything they owned was carefully packed floor to ceiling into this large, metal crate. Don has been keeping my husband in the know of how their travel journey has been going.
This morning my husband came up and told me that he had just talked to Don & Don just learned that their cargo train had derailed in Montana and everything they owned was gone! My heart sank for Don and all the time, hours and special care he had put into packing all of their belongings. They now had literally nothing besides the clothing on their back and a small travel camper they were living in. Don, in his usual, great sense of humor–chimed in, “So Jon, I will need to have your daughter, Kate make us some more of those cookies you sent us with immediately!”
This is where the other side of the story comes in…we must always remember to have a grateful heart for all that we are given. Don’s wife is a woman that is never happy with life. She sadly is the type of person you instantly feel heavy energy from and know the direction the conversation will ultimately go…negative, ungrateful…Every conversation with her held no happiness, no gratitude, just complaints about where she lived, the house, the weather, what she didn’t find on the beach, what wasn’t here on the coast, the lack of everything….on and on. It was exhausting.
Sadly, (not my best reaction. smile) when I heard this news, I instantly thought of Don’s wife and how she has never been grateful. I thought, “Karma” She has not been happy or grateful with anything she has had, so now it has all been literally taken away.
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” -Epicurus
This quote makes me think of how often our mind tricks us into complaining, whining, switching to see through tainted glasses those desires that ultimately harden our hearts. Our rose colored glasses become tainted and we lose focus of all we are gifted. This makes me think of my neighbor & how her perspective on life was wishing she was somewhere else, having shopping malls close by, mad about this or that—instead of seeing the beauty of where she was, the ocean within a 15 minute walk, the serenity, the quiet, the private beach, etc…to many this place is paradise, but how easily we can lose focus of the beauty, the gifts and wish it all away.
There is genuinely something to that! I think if we cannot be happy or grateful with what we have—-WHY would we receive more?
THINGS come and go. Money comes and goes…it is important for us to always remember what is the most important—the relationships, the love, the care we have for others. We become attached to the THINGS, but we need to become more attached to the gratitude for the people we care about most and the little things that make our days better.
I have always loved the thought—NoTHING can make you truly fulfilled or happy. So seeking gratitude can help us focus on those little things that will bring us Joy and a deeper life fulfillment.
How can we create an attachment to gratitude?
Turn it into a practice—weekly or daily “This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one before.” -Maya Angelou. “The heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.” -Douglas Wood. “The number one joy indicator, the one thing that will predict whether someone feels joy in their life or not, is the practice of gratitude.” -John O’Leary “Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive. It’s the quickest, easiest, most powerful way to effect change in your life—this I know for sure,” -Oprah Winfrey
IDEAS: I have written many times about gratitude practices and how they have scientifically been linked to greater amounts of happiness. Here are some ideas: Gratitude list it daily or once a week. You can either journal, keep a list, voice memo, etc. Our family group texts out lists to each other & I compile them in a note on my computer.We have also done journals together before bed. It just depends on what works best for you in your life. Gratitude visit: Find someone who has been a great influence to you in your life & connect with them & share your gratitude for them in your life. Stop & fully enJOY the moments: when you find yourself making moments count, whether you stop and smell the flowers, savor the food, hug a loved one, laugh at a joke, watch a sunset, etc…stop and take it in fully.
Give thanks through prayer—“When I pray, I always thank Mother Nature for all the beauty in the world. It’s about having an attitude of gratitude.” -Miranda Kerr. “I lie in bed at night, after ending my prayers with the words ‘Ich danke dir für all das Gute und Liebe und Schöne.’ (Thank you, God, for all that is good and dear and beautiful.)” -Anne Frank
IDEAS: Have a special place you go to—a destination, if you will, of a sacred spot you can go to take some time to say thank you, feel and notice your blessings within your life and just be in the moment. A couple things I do–I have a special prayer rock by the ocean & I also have an outdoor rocking chair that I take a few minutes in the morning to look to the sky, rock and say thank you simply for the day. If you feel too rushed in your day to day, take a moment while you are driving to work or riding the train and get quiet within and begin a list of things to say thank you for.
Be someone’s need-–“Each day brings new opportunities, allowing you to constantly live with love—be there for others—bring a little light into someone’s day. Be grateful and live each day to the fullest,” -Kyo Maclear
IDEAS: Always be on the lookout for people who need a smile, give a stranger a compliment, start up a conversation at a coffee shop. Leave notes: Make a habit of once a month to leave little notes for people who waitress your table, a cashier at a drive-thru, someone you work with, a great neighbor & express your gratitude for them. Leave little post-it notes for those you live with and love. They always need a little encouragement and love. Always be available and offer support to those around you. Simply just listen in any conversation you are in—that is such a need. Stay off of your phone and be aware of anyone and everyone around you—at the mall, at work, school—smile, be the one who makes eye contact and makes another person FEEL seen.
Visualize—“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” -Kristin Armstrong “Focusing on one thing that you are grateful for increases the energy of gratitude and rises the joy inside yourself,” -Oprah. “When we dwell on the positive, and feed our minds with beauty and goodness, we exude positivity and create favorable situations. It’s as simple as that,” -Leona Sokolova
IDEAS: Create a visual journal of thanks. Make a collage of things you would like in your life. Simply breathe and allow a spirit of thanks.
Be aware of your gratitude—“When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.” -Tecumseh. “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love—then make that day count!” -Steve Maraboli
IDEAS: Wayne Dyer would share his morning ritual of once his feet hit the floor out of bed, he would give thanks for a new day. Take a walk and notice the details around you: smell the flowers, look at the lines and symmetry in nature, just breathe, appreciate your eyes that can see the beauty around you, hear the birds and be thankful you can hear them. —-My sweet husband has had chronic ear problems that have caused him to not be able to hear higher pitched sounds, so there are many birds he cannot even hear. It makes my heart ache for him.—Stop and notice. Listen. Breathe.
What are you thinking about? What are you saying to yourself? “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” -GK Chesterton
I was just talking with my daughter about this. Our thoughts truly can create parts of our reality, so you need to be aware of what you are thinking and telling yourself. My daughter was sharing that she had felt like she had not done anything with her life at this point. I had to help her put her rose-colored glasses back on & SEE a little more clearly. I reminded her that she had just been offered and was working in the Marine field, was photographing seals for an incredible internship opportunity, has made lots of friends & is going to be the President of a huge ocean club on her college campus…I said, “If you cannot begin to see the charms of your life, the gifts you have been given, why would God be so excited to keep giving you more?” We literally went to a store & found a pair of rose-colored glasses & took some fun pics of her to remember the conversation. Sometimes we need to change our lenses & focus on the incredible things & practice being grateful.
Notice the little things—“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” -Robert Brault. “There are so many things in the world that could be invisible to the material eye, and when you take a moment to stop, to pause, to be present and notice them—that’s gratitude.” -Jay Shetty. “By writing what I was grateful for, I learned to look for things that made me smile,” -Dr. Ranjani Rao
IDEAS: I always stop and smell the wild roses. It is a tiny thing that reminds me of the small blessings we easily walk by and rarely take in. Plus, the fragrance is incredible. When we begin to notice the little things that is when the magic happens. When you get up early before the world wakes you find yourself in wondrous places. —-My husband and I got up early and went to a neighborhood garden before the world got busy & while we were walking a mama deer and two little fawns walked casually in front of us through the garden. It was like a dream.—–
Let go of ‘Lack’ and embrace the blessings you have—“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” -Epictetus. “It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” -Germany Kent. “The moment I stopped spending so much time chasing the big pleasure of life, I began to enjoy the little ones, like watching the stars dancing in a moonlit sky or soaking in the sunbeams of a glorious summer morning,” -Robin Sharma
IDEAS: We are human–there will always be a sense of lack and of gratitude….which one do you want to focus on? Where is the energy going to take you? I think this can be such an easy trap to fall into. We can look at our neighbors, see people with better bodies, wish we could vacation more, etc. But when we focus on things that are trivial—we lose sight of the daily gifts that happen every day. We get stuck wishing things were different, instead of enjoying the life you have today. There are no guarantees for tomorrow.
Find a reverence—“Gratitude bestows reverence…changing forever how we experience life and the world.” -John Milton. “Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace,” Arianna Huffington
IDEAS: Savor the solitude, stop and watch the pelicans, feed the seagulls, take the time to see the sunset, walk through nature, stare lovingly at your favorite people you love, make food with love, …life is a gift to enJOY. Take it all in and be grateful in the moments.
Live it—“So it is not happiness that makes us grateful. It’s gratefulness that makes us happy,” -monk David Steindl-Rast
IDEAS: You must live it now! I have the sweetest neighbor who takes care of her 93 year old mom, but my neighbor has stopped living because she gets stuck in the ideas of…when my mom is gone, when I don’t have to take care of her…I will see more of my daughter when…she rarely leaves the house because she has convinced herself that when…things change… then I will live. You only have right now to truly live. Life is in session.
I hope this post helps you find the gratitude you need right now for your life. Begin. Begin again if you need to. It is a practice worth creating.
Peace, Love and Light. xoxo H
I have always loved this quote because it is so true. I am still waiting for the feeling of confusion to turn to clarity, but every experience is what you turn it into. I pray we can turn this into an even better vision for tomorrow.
You can always find so many things you are grateful for right now!! Since my husband has been gone he has mentioned a few of the ‘comforts of home’ he misses. It may sound funny, but he missed the cheese & bread we usually buy. He misses going to our local gas station & buying his favorite soda. He misses our shower, because now he showers in either a KOA shower (used by numerous people) or his tiny RV stall (which is 3 x 3). I am not complaining. We are extremely grateful for the RV. We are by no means destitute or living on the street, but I know this experience will help us learn a few things about ourselves, our relationship and all that we take for granted. Think of some things you take for granted & are grateful for. LIST THEM.
I am grateful to have my little family, even though we are apart. Separation truly does make the heart grow fonder. (I have learned that!). I am grateful to breathe, to smile, to walk, to smell fresh air, to take warm showers, to see the beautiful, blue sky, to hug my daughter, to talk on a phone, to have my parents still close, to have a home, to have a job, to have clean water, to live in freedom, to have a healthy body that can move, to walk through forests, to feel the sunlight upon my face, to play with my dog, to dream, to create, to write, to have an abundance of food, to hear my dog bark (haha–he is crazy), to see butterflies, to see the change in light outside, to…there are so many things if we take a moment to notice. What are you grateful for? Think about it.
With the US Independence day this weekend it makes me reflect how blessed I feel to be free. I think many Americans have no idea how free we are.
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