Something to think about – Page 4

Sobering 9/11

Published on September 11, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

njdg1tawqxjbq964frl2 Many people will never forget where they were or what was going on around them on 9/11. It is so humbling to walk back in your mind and remember how paralyzed our nation was and then how joined it became.

I was living in a tiny, country town, Shelley, Idaho. It was a place of acres and acres of potato fields and very few people. I will never forget how at that time in our nation, it became a place of American flags on every car, people honking and cheering on our local fire engines and public safety, giant flags painted on barns…it was a beautiful thing to see a community join together in such patriotism.

I don’t think anyone will forget the images that kept replaying on the televisions across the country, the sobering stories of everyday heroes, unbelievable stories of survival and the heartbreaking realizations of loss.

Every 9/11 is a mix of emotions and this morning I woke up to an email that informed me of my dear neighbor with six young kids (under the age of 14) who just found out she has breast cancer and its spreading. My heart ached and I immediately ran over to be of service and see what I could do.

Any tragedy is sobering, so I ask of you on this day of 9/11…find those things within your life that you daily take for granted and give thanks. Hold your family a little tighter. Reach out to someone in need. Take something to your local fire department or public servant and say thank you for their service.

We are all in this one life together, so if we can remember this daily, then when any tragedy hits your family, your neighbor, your community, your country, then you will be ready to take on anything TOGETHER.

TOGETHER: Here is something soo interesting: [I posted this years ago, but it has always stayed with me on 9/11–shows how connected we truly are]

Out of the horror of 9/11 some amazing scientific discoveries were made–our satellites positioned thousands of miles above the earth–every 30 minutes the satellites send a signal that tells us how strong the magnetic field of the earth really is. It ebbs and flows each day. On 9/11 there was a huge spike and the researchers had never seen a spike like this before or on both satellites. They were trying to figure out what on earth happened & this led the researchers to understand the collective heart-based response, The human emotion that was outpouring in a particular time of that day. It was so powerful that it coupled with the magnetic field of the earth. It showed how everything is connected to the field. It took a tragedy to understand the connection, but what heartmath is trying to decide is if they can utilize the same connection without tragedy.
Can heart-based coherence bring people together in peace. Heartmath has a coalition has sensors throughout the world trying to decipher human emotions trying to see how to bring about human coherence throughout the world.

May we always seek to have grateful hearts for the world we live in, the relationships we are gifted to share and the love to freely give—always.

Peace, Love and Light to you on this day of 9/11. -H

Turning Points

Published on August 27, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

crossroad-path-in-lavender-meadow1 “At every turning point of my life, I can see your smiling face and my teary eyes.” -SB

Googled “Life Turning Points” and this is what came up: A Turning Point is a critical time in your life where big decisions could lead to big change, both in work and in life.

OR another point of view The idea of turning points in our lives is a powerful one. It’s the idea that at a certain point, a big event happens that changes your life irrevocably. -huffingtonpost

Some turning points are conscious, others less so…But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another. And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way. -Psychology today

My husband and his six sisters have been facing a rather big turning point for the past week. There Dad that is 71 has been diagnosed with an extremely rare disease (one in one and a half million people) that is eating his brain at a rapid rate and stealing his life from them. It came out of nowhere and has been a very heavy and tragic time that has humbly brought them together, but has also left them feeling many why’s. They are at a daily turning point of questioning God; wondering why their Dad has to suffer more and more each day; watching people come and go with sorrowful goodbye’s, yet the family still trying to get through the shallow breaths of death each night. He is on the brink of death and at one point just asked them to let him die. It has been dementia on steroids, leaving them all with an empty shell of a man at points, hallucinating the next and then completely lucid. My husband has walked in on him a few times & his body is in motion as if stringing a fishing rod & even biting the line off with his teeth. It is a horrible disease that quickly takes over and it has been a rollercoaster of emotion for everyone.

Each day has been different for each one of the family member’s who stay up all night watching…waiting…wondering when he will take his last breath. They all wonder where he goes when he seems to just be a shell. One day one of his daughter’s who had not slept and was running on a very emotionally empty tank had a psychotic episode and the hospital almost admitted her to the psyche ward for her erratic behavior. She was at a turning/tipping point of her overall experience. She had to step back and have family members force her to sleep, to bring her back to reality, so she could be present as her Dad passes.

The family has been each dealing with their own turning points in different ways. My husband is almost like the father to all of his six sisters. He always has been. He is in the middle of three older and three younger sisters. He is the only boy and they have always relied on him over their own Dad, so nothing is new to him. This is just a different level of a turning point—he is holding their hands each day as they express their feelings, their fears, their needs. His emotional tank is running low, but each day is a turning point of how he will handle each situation with care. He is learning more about himself, more about selfless love, more about unconditional love and servant leadership. I called him and expressed my deep love and appreciation for the man he is & admire how hard he is trying to serve everyone involved. He is better than me. I could not do what he is doing each day.

Turning points have different viewpoints. [Think of yourself standing at a crossroad of two paths–two different viewpoints or life turning points] I may step back from one emotional road & admire how someone else is traveling it. I try to take it in and see it from someone else’s perspective and hope that when I am in the midst of traveling a similar road, that I could handle it with some sort of grace, dignity and selfless action. I can only hope.

Everyone has their journey & each path will be different. BUT Some turning points are conscious, others less so…But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another. And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way. -Psychology today

May we each look at each step along our journey and find our best self. May we always seek to learn, grow and strive to be a better version of ourselves along the way.

Peace to all today—Especially my sweet husband and his sisters. Bless you all through this journey. I know it has been a beautiful, but very hard and painful road. xoxoxo

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” -Max Lerner

Can’t Seem to Stay Focused?

Published on August 15, 2019August 15, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Creativity-Quote-by-Maya-Angelou-Instagram I found myself talking to my sister and expressing how I just feel like I have so many ideas in the works, but for some reason, feel like I have not accomplished everything I desire to. For years it has left me feeling pulled into writing this book idea, then a screenplay, then creating children’s books, researching, writing, art…it has seemed to go round and round for years, leaving me feeling troubled and wondering why I seem to start and stop projects.

I then came across this—The Hyper Creative Mind. Wow!! Did I instantly resonate with the ongoing circles of thought processes and a true understanding that this could possibly be what I have been struggling with. I always have struggled wondering if there is some underlying fear, laziness, no focus, etc.

I just began researching this idea to see what could help me focus. The following are some tips that I have come across. If you seem to be struggling from some of the same feelings or actions, I highly invite you to find your way through the hyper creative mind and find focus. Bless you on your journey.

Here are some articles that may help you understand this whole idea better:

Great article “Too many ideas in your mind? How to let your hyper creative mind achieve success” https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-to-focus-your-hyper-creative-mind-to-achieve-success.html

Which means if you are hyper creative your inability to remain excited about a project once you get part way into it, is not simply because you are lazy, have no stick-to-it-ness, or just don’t care. Part of your brain is hardwired to want to spend all it’s time just creating those new brilliant ideas that get you so stoked up. [this is so me!]

ME: I fall in love with projects, work so hard for so long, but then my mind wants to jump to something different. I have numerous books & book ideas that have been started; I have so much research on so many varying topics; I have a screenplay I wrote and created visually; I have numerous children’s books that I wrote and did the artwork for; I have brainstormed and created layouts for a children’s museum; I have entered contests; I have also created business proposals for a variety of business ideas, marketing campaigns, blogs, web sites… The list goes on and on. This doesn’t even include all the books I begin reading on so many different topics & some I finish and some are still waiting.

As I read some articles on the hyper creative mind they keep saying: And if you remember anything…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. I smile to myself and find some VERY needed explanations for the years of feeling like I cannot focus & the frustration that accompanies those feelings. In each article I read examples of this “hyper-creative mind” and I keep saying to myself, “that is me!!” This is a very big AHA for me. Thank God. There is hope. smile. smile. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

For me personally, I have definitely had some internal battles and misdirections from one project to another, so nothing gets completed and I am emotionally depleted.

istockphoto-868532948-612x612 I just came across this great analogy on girlbosstips :

I read a really cool analogy about a rose bush that I want to share with you. As a rose bush grows, it buds off more than it can sustain. You must prune rose bushes to maintain the appearance. If you don’t, the bush will eventually exhaust and die. There is only so much nutrients that can go around. If the bush just keeps on shooting out new buds and nothing is done to control it, then the result will be a negative one.

Like the rose bush, it is natural for you to have new ideas pop up into your head. And it is super cool when that happens. But, to allow yourself to have the energy, drive and excitement we sometimes have to prune the ideas. What I want you to take away from the prune analogy is that we sometimes need to remove and clean up our ideas to help ourselves be sustainable in our business / studies / careers /life.

ASK YOURSELF

Which ideas do I have TIME to focus on right now. You may have an app idea, or a novel playing on your mind, or a song you want to write, or…so many ideas may swirl and pop in trying to grab your attention. Ask yourself, What do I truly have time to focus on considering my other responsibilities.

How can I create more FOCUS? You need to truly focus in on one idea at a time and ask further questions that will help you see if it is worth your time and focus. Is the idea exciting? Do you feel a real connection & why? Is it something that is waking you up early in the morning to work on? Do you feel energized by it? Think and ponder an idea to see if the excitement grows or begins to fade. This is your life…your time…the idea needs to light you up, not just grab your attention.

Do you feel committed? For a hyper creative mind it is very easy to get distracted, fall in love with another idea, shelf something, get busy with life…When a project comes along that does light you up, you need to begin to act and then see if you feel deep within you a real commitment. Does your heart continue to light up? This is your life, so begin now to notice the distractions, look at the varying levels of commitment and begin to go within and ask yourself deeply what projects could you truly be committed to and one-by-one bring them to life. If you have so many side projects that are just daily distractions, begin to eliminate them one-by-one and say thank you, but no, my time is too precious. Find those projects that truly light you up & you could spend hours and hours getting lost in the creation.

Do deadlines or milestones work for you? For me personally, I struggle holding up an accountability card if no one else is involved. What about you? Having a visual deadline date on your calendar, would that work for you? Maybe if you treated yourself to a special weekend getaway if you finish a specific project?? [while I am typing this I am feeling like this could be something that appeals to me ;]

A couple more GOOD TOOLS

Having so many great ideas but being unable to apply them in a way that leads to the success you crave can be more than frustrating – it can be hugely depressing. -KarenDaniels

Here is an exercise from Karen Daniels work on finding your goal as a hypercreative-–What your goal is not: Your goal should NOT be to learn how to put a stopper on your creative flow so you can fit in, learn to love the details and get things done. So please, stop trashing yourself for being something you are not.

What your goal is: Your goal SHOULD be to learn how to harness your ideas in ways that allow you to better distinguish the ideas with more potential for your life and how to follow through in ways that will vastly improve your success, both personally and professionally.

How? You are going to sit down, right now, and create what you can think of as your hypercreative filter. This will be 3 core questions through which you will run all your ideas to see if that idea is going to help, or hinder, your forward progress to the life and business you want. To get to your core questions, I want you to sit down right now and think about some adjectives that describe how you would like to feel such as…fantastic, cheerful, lively, perfect, calm, wonderful, enchanting, funny, joyous, delightful, comfortable, pleasant, elated, amused, splendid, thankful…

READ THE REST OF HER ARTICLE. IT IS A GREAT TOOL Here is the rest of her article with additional details on this exercise https://karendaniels.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/How-to-Harness-Your-Hypercreativity-for-Success.pdf

ANOTHER GOOD ARTICLE that has some good information about the hypercreative mind http://artistmyth.com/hypercreative-know-one/

A few tips from this article: Hypercreatives, due to their sensitive nature, might become vulnerable to negative emotional states such as cynicism, apathy, depression, and frustration. This might even lead to negative physical states as well.

Another tendency for many hypercreatives to overcome is abandoning their current project or idea when another newer idea comes along. They need the diligence and discipline to be able to focus and maximize their efforts in order to accomplish their creative goals. This can be especially difficult when challenges come up, therefore problem solving skills are also an essential trait of successful hypercreatives.

depositphotos_51475035-stock-illustration-we-believe-that-creative-people

Best wishes in all you do. May you find your calm.

Peace. Love and Light to you today. -H

Stay FREE

Published on August 1, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Is there such a thing as Social Media FREE??? I have seen the problems with people getting lost in the sea of comparisons, feelings of being left out, the time it seems to steal, marriages that have been broken, the addiction…so I have elected to NOT play in the social media field. Do I feel I am missing out??? I don’t think so, but everyone has their own opinion. I invite you to read the following stats and make your own.

TO BE or NOT TO BE

My daughter has never been one to join the crowds and didn’t want a phone or anything that would associate her with the “typical teen.” We basically had to force her to have a phone when she went to her first home-away camp last year. She is now sixteen and still just uses her phone to text, call or play puzzle apps. She is not the typical teen.

I know teens are glued to their phones on snapchat, instagram…but while my daughter was on a two-week trip to Hawaii with complete strangers that were all teens, she was teased that she doesn’t do social media. None of the teens could believe it.

My daughter works at our local aquarium & the majority of her coworkers are college graduates or in their early twenties. She has been asked by many of them to join social media group chats & she tells them she doesn’t do social media. Many of them have told her how smart that is & expressed that is why she must be so happy. They have all told her to avoid it. That says something! If anything, it gave my daughter a reply to the teens she was being badgered by. My daughter stood her ground and expressed how she doesn’t need it and would rather not have that distraction in her life.

You go girl!!

THE ISSUES:

FOMO “Fear of Missing Out” is a HUGE draw to the social media world.

Social media addiction is a growing phenomenon not only in the United States but worldwide. The average person spends nearly 2 hours a day using social media, which amounts to 5 years and 4 months of his/her lifetime. In that time a person could run more than 10,000 marathons or travel to the moon and back on 32 separate occasions. For teens, social media time spent could be up to 9 hours every day [mediakix]

95 million photos are uploaded to Instagram a day. WOW!! That is a lot of facetime!

There are 175 billion pins on Pinterest.That’s about 25 pins for every man, woman and child, young and old on the entire planet. (Marketing Land)

Every second, more than 500 hours of video is added to YouTube.

90% of drivers admit to using smartphones behind the wheel. Of those respondents, 50% reportedly use their smartphones to check social media. SCARY.

According to the University of Chicago, social media is more addicting than cigarettes.

Does Social Media Cause Depression?
Studies show that users with “heavy use” of social media have between a 13% and 66% higher chance of being depressed. This could be due to the lack of “real-life” relationships users are making. The online relationship doesn’t have the same emotional satisfaction that you can get with real-life relationships. [creditdonkey]

TEENS & SOCIAL MEDIA: I just pulled up a statistic on teens and social media & it said nine out of ten use social media—that is 90%

A 2018 study found that teens who spend 5 hours per day using their phones were almost twice as likely to exhibit depressive symptoms than counterparts who dedicated only 1 hour on their phones. Interestingly, the relationship between excessive mobile use and depression appears to be strongly linked to gender, with 58% more females than males experiencing depressive symptoms. [mediakix]

If prolonged exposure to screens wasn’t bad enough for people’s sleep, social media addictions are making it even harder for people to get a good night’s sleep. 45% of people check social media instead of sleeping, and roughly 10% of teens check their phones more than 10 times per night. [mediakix]

“Social media addiction is a mental health problem… Excessive usage [is] linked to relationship problems, worse academic achievement and less participation in offline communities.” –BBC

“The American Academy of Pediatrics has warned about the potential for negative effects of social media in young kids and teens, including cyber-bullying.” –Forbes

“Survey results found that Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image and loneliness.” –Child Mind Institute

“Too much passive use of social media – just browsing posts – can be unhealthy and has been linked to feelings of envy, inadequacy and less satisfaction with life. Studies have even suggested that it can lead to ADHD symptoms, depression, anxiety and sleep deprivation. ” –UNICEF

KEEP OUR KIDS SAFE—

Here is a link to some pretty crazy statistics https://www.guardchild.com/social-media-statistics-2/

like 55% of teens have given out personal information like photos or descriptions online to someone they don’t know. WHAT!! That is terrifying.

60% have created profiles or personal sites.

GOOD TIPS

How Much Time Should You Spend On Social Media A Day?
Experts suggest limiting your social media use to just 30 minutes per day for the least amount of mental health side effects as a result of too much social media use.[creditdonkey]

Good article on the good and bad of social media https://smartsocial.com/negative-effects-of-social-media/

I hope this post has sparked some thought on social media awareness.

Happy day to you. -H

Be BRAVE

Published on July 25, 2019July 25, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

bravery-quote My daughter left a week and a half ago for a two-week, Hawaii adventure by her sixteen-year-old self. She got on an airplane by her self for the first time. She instantly sent us a selfie where she looked terrified. And then immediately another selfie where she was smiling. It was classic. My husband and I just laughed & knew she would be okay. It was part of her journey. She had to be brave, all on her own.

“You will never regret being brave.”

Over a year ago she approached me and my husband and expressed her interest in doing an adventure camp where she could go somewhere and help sea turtles. She had done some research and expressed she would like to go to Greece.

My first response, “Not Greece! That is too far & you are not even sixteen!” I loved her excitement and passion to pursue something she cares about, so we told her we could do some research and see if we could find something a little closer to home & not so foreign.

As her Mom there were parts of me that worried, but how do you dim any kind of spark that is ignited by a passion bigger than anything. As parents we are here to nurture, guide, and hopefully inspire the spark that lies within these children we have been gifted to grow and love. Who are we to take away dreams, to kill the passion and thrill of an adventure, to limit them in becoming who they are meant to become.

My daughter watched the movie, “Born to be Wild” when she was eight and fell in love with Orangutans in Borneo. She instantly pulled out her stuffed animals, made book marks & did an animal sale in our front yard to make money for the World Wildlife Fund. That was the beginning. She has had a love of animals ever since. When she was fourteen she began volunteering at our local aquarium & had a sweet eye to eye encounter with a sea turtle & since that moment wanted to learn and do more for them. She just got a job as an educator at the aquarium & has loved every minute.

There is nothing better than seeing someone you love and adore thrive! Especially as a parent. I know as my daughter grows and spreads her wings, she will need less and less of me, but as her mother, I invite her to fly. Even though she will be able to fly, our bond is strong. I hope she will grow strong wings that will take her wherever the world needs her. I cannot be selfish with such an incredible person who was meant to do amazing things for this world. Who are we as adults, as parents to limit their experiences because of our own fears.

I have had so many family members and friends who have commented on how scary the very thought of allowing their child to go on such a trip. I even had one of my sisters comment on how she could be brainwashed on some island somewhere. Everyone has their opinions, but hopefully, we can all remember this quote…

873ee57d7afdbcbf0519027b27da8fe7 As we see our children grow we begin to see their strengths, their challenges, their needs, who they are striving to become. We need to remember that they came to this world with their own sets of life-given qualities that will serve the world in one way or another. As parents, we need to help ignite the sparks within them, help give them the opportunities to find their deeper light, their purpose, and to nurture what they need for their life. Our children are gifts to our life. They will inspire, challenge and help us grow. We are all here to help one another to be our best, to live fully, to seek dreams, to follow the guidance…the spark…the light we have within. That light will lead us to our purpose and that will allow us to be a greater gift to the world.

In the end, my daughter will be gone for fourteen days & during that time we have only been able to talk to her for ten minutes. That has been the toughest part for me. I want to hear and see everything. I want to experience it all through her eyes. I can’t wait to hear all about it. But, I will tell you this…those ten minutes that my husband and I talked to her, she was lit up by the whole experience. Her passion was felt from thousands of miles away. She was right where she needed and wanted to be and you could tell by the enthusiasm in her voice. Oh, the joy you feel when your children are happy.

IMG_9981-1-300x300

I love this. I would rather be a mother that helps instill “I can and I will” than the alternatives. smile. smile. Help them feel like they can and will.

“I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.” -Whitney Houston

That is a beautiful idea.

May we all seek to live, to love, and to be brave.

Peace to you. -H

Deliberately CONNECT

Published on June 25, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Albert-Schweitzer-Sometimes-our-light-goes-out-but-is-blown-again-into-instant-flame-by-an-encounter-with-another-human-being Since my sweet connection with a stranger (that I wrote about in a previous blog), I have felt a deeper desire to be deliberate in sending out “sparks” of connection. In doing so, I have literally had some of the sweetest conversations with complete strangers that I have met on trails. Have shared sincere smiles & hellos. One of my favorites was when my husband and I were at the car wash. The young car wash attendant was washing windshields & looked like he was in a trance of doing the same thing over and over. I instantly waved at the car wash attendant & my husband quickly chimed in, “he is going to think you are trying to get him to stop the car.” The attendant instantly began smiling and waving. Me & the young man both happily waved big waves, big smiles & gave each other a thumbs up in genuine appreciation of connection. It was so fun to light up someone’s job. It was deliberate & it not only made my day, but I am sure it helped the young man have a better day too.

There is something about deliberately seeking connection–You seek out smiling at someone. You look people in the eye. You find yourself trying to identify who may need a smile or hello more than someone else. But most importantly, I find, I get out of myself and contribute to the world, even in a small way.

When you watch people, you see there is a big need for connection. People need a little spark–a hello, a smile–to feel lit up. The world needs more of that.

I came across the following story & I fell in love with the spirit of this man. He is and has been on a mission to do his part–to connect on a daily basis. Enjoy his story.

May you have the courage to get out of yourself & spread a little more connection.

May your day be filled with light and love. xoxo

CONNECTION

Published on May 28, 2019 by goforthegood11 Comment

i-love-those-connections-that-make-this-big-old-world-feel-like-a-little-village-403x403-nk7a7k I had a beautiful moment happen to me today. You may on occasion have a complete stranger smile, say hello or have a brief conversation about something going on around you, but today, I had a sincere, emotional connection with a complete stranger.

It was an incredible gift to my journey and I just wanted to express how important connection truly is to one another. I enjoy people, but there is a part of me that is a little guarded— because it is just me & some of my human experiences.

Today, I was driving around running a few errands & I often find myself praying as I drive. I always ask to be a light in the world & today was a confirmation that each and every one of us can be a connection, a hope of friendship, a light to someone.

I was printing off a few quotes for a gift I am doing for my daughter’s friends with school graduation tonight. I entered a local copy shop & knew no one. A tall, ordinary guy in his mid-twenties came to help me. There was some orchestra music playing & he seemed to light up at a song that had cellos. “I love this song. I play the cello.” He beamed and I told him how wonderful that must be. As he laminated and printed my items we had a brief conversation about the power of music and I asked him his thoughts on the connection between music and brighter minds. He shared a study that was done that he had read about & I explained that my sixteen-year-old daughter loves & is good at science and math, but struggles with instruments. We talked back and forth & it was just a sweet, innocent conversation about music.

As he was placing my items in a paper sack, he genuinely looked into my eyes & said, “Just continue to do whatever it is your doing. You seem so alive. I knew when I started talking to you, that you felt like a friend in this world. We are all on this journey & just keep doing what you are doing. It’s great!” His eyes literally began to well up & I was taken back by his genuine sincerity. It was so refreshing to see and feel a stranger share something so kind. I lovingly thanked him & then smiled a big smile and said, “Maybe it is because I am reading “The Book of Joy” by the Dali Lama and Desmond Tutu.” He beamed & began to laugh, “Are you serious?” I smiled and genuinely said, “yes. You should read it.” He began heading to help another customer & smiled, “I am always looking for good things to read.” I yelled across the counter, “Thank you for your genuine kindness. It meant a lot.” and I walked out the door.

It was one of those moments where you feel truly connected in the world & you know you are where you needed to be. I don’t know why, but I knew that my prayers to seek to be a light were confirmed that we can each do our best to be a light, to seek to shine, to connect with others, even strangers.

It was a beautiful gift. I will cherish this memory & always hold it as a sweet reminder that we are all genuinely connected. Love is the string that ties us all together. I sincerely felt that.

Thank you.

“We are hard wired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” -Brene Brown

“Connection is the energy that exists between two people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” -unknown

PS One last god wink that just happened—I wanted to find a quote to go along with this post & the Gina Bellman (at the top of this page) came up & she is an actress that I had never seen or heard of until I just started watching the series “Leverage” (great series) within the last couple of weeks. Love the not so coincidences of life. smile. smile.

Peace, Love and Light to you today. -H

Go Deeper

Published on May 21, 2019May 21, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

4f07b79d2e67ca2f3121eac1e4e955a9 “But people are oceans. she shrugged. You cannot know them by their surface.” -Beau Taplin//Surfaces

I think this is an incredible thought to think about and ponder. It genuinely gave me chills because of the truth held within this statement.

I often struggle at the surface conversations that seem to be the norm. Why can’t we truly connect and go deeper with people? Why is it such a struggle to talk, be vulnerable, to seek connection on another level, to learn from someone…

I often talk to my teenage daughter about not being afraid to “go deeper” in conversations with friends or people she meets. She tells me she doesn’t want this guy to assume she is getting too deep because she likes him or something.

Is it out of fear of getting to know someone on a more intimate level & feeling like you owe them something? Or is it a fear of having to go deeper yourself?

I am of the genuine opinion that every person we come in contact with has something we can take or learn from.

I recently watched a tv series that was short-lived, but it had life coaches, young adults with dreams & entrepreneurial spirit, so I was intrigued. At first glance, I thought it would be a shallow show with lots of egos, but as I watched each episode I began to see the people break open, become more vulnerable and begin to learn about themselves & one another. They developed deeper connections on many levels.

Here are some great lessons I took away from the show “Dream Quest”

One of the coaches was describing to one of the adults how “To become soft again”—it made me think of “moldable” to be able to create a better version of oneself. To be flexible and agile enough in a way that you could take things in, learn, create, change, move differently…take things for your life & make it better.

“Boundaries are not limiting, they are liberating.” The coaches were illustrating a point to one of the adults on the show. They were trying to show him how it is easier for people to pull or drag you down than it is for you to lift them up. That is why it is so important to surround yourself with good people. (They did a great visual–they put Tim (big guy on the show) up on a table & told him to pull up Kortney (Lifecoach who is a small woman). Tim could not do it. They talked about how it was easier for Kortney to pull him down than for him to lift her up. It was a great visual.

They talked about a study with school-age kids on a playground & they first had no fence (no boundaries) & they watched & observed them & how they played. Then they put a fence up around the playground & they found the kids played longer, were louder, felt safer & more secure. The boundaries were good.

Accountability—center console in your car metaphor
You clean your center as soon as you need to pick someone up at the airport.
You need people to help you be accountable.

Habit—your habits are either helping or hurting you.
The first part of a habit is the hardest part—
Did you know the Shuttle Uses More fuel in the first 7 seconds of liftoff than it does to orbit the entire earth?
As you get through the hard part & are committed to a good habit then it’s easier to go with the flow.

What discipline am I going to add into my life right now to make it better??

Good Communication is 7%words 35% tone and 58% Body language

Do it afraid!! Face the fear of rejection, what others think, regret, etc & do it anyway. Ask yourself. What if I didn’t try….how would you feel?
Choose COURAGE over FEAR
ITS OKAY TO FAIL, just don’t fail to try!!

Comparison & worrying about others will quickly handicap your dream
Take it one step at a time focusing on yourself & where you are going.

Switching your attitude will change everything in an instant. Nothing can be based on circumstances—it’s your attitude about it.

Never give up!

Emotional intelligence & dealing with people
Sympathy—I feel sorry for them…
Empathy—I understand how they are feeling
Empathy is one of the most important traits a good leader can have.

Kylie Jeans words of affirmations with her parents growing up: I like myself. I have a great destiny and people listen to me because I have valuable & important things to say.

Learn from anyone & everyone you can.

I believe you can learn SOMETHING from everyone you connect with. It is up to you whether you take it deeper and have it become more of a meaningful outcome for your own life. Lessons are everywhere—stories people tell us, feelings we get from someone, words of affirmation, life lessons shared via email or social media, a smile from a stranger, a compliment from someone you work with, a sincere thank you….there are so many ways to connect & when these interactions go deeper, they mean more.

Stretch. Learn. Grow. Don’t be afraid to invest in others by connecting on a deeper level. You both will benefit.

Here are some good links to help:

200 Deep Questions To Ask If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/02/40-deep-questions-to-ask-if-you-really-want-to-get-to-know-someone/

Tips for deeply connecting with others https://www.huffpost.com/entry/connecting-to-others_n_1083976

How to listen and build deep connections with people https://theartofcharm.com/networking/how-to-listen-and-build-deeper-connections-with-people/

Hope you will take away some good. Make today amazing. Connect. xoxo -H

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Your Personal Mission in the World

Published on May 9, 2019May 9, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

To have a personal mission in the world.

What could you do??

YOU: Make a personal difference in your own life to better it. One person at a time, begins with YOU. Until you take care of you, you are not going to be your best self & show up for those in the world who need you.
How to Take care of yourself physically, emotionally & spiritually.

Here are some ideas for YOU: Take long, warm showers they are good for the whole. Get grateful–write a daily list of five things or have your family send each other a short list of things to share with one another. Get outside for the sunshine, nature, the healing effects that are all connected. Read, journal, do something that utilizes and focuses the mind. Listen to beautiful music that seems to move you, calm you, connects you. Coloring calms the mind (its not just for kids–try it). Practice saying ‘NO’ to things or people that drain you or that you may just not want to do. Take a nap. Make a list, whether it is a ’99 things I Love List’ a ‘bucket list’ or a ‘goal list’…to help you tap into some of your personal desires or things you enjoy or want to do. Meditate and clear your mind. Do yoga. Smile. Exercise your mind and body. Give puppy loves & enjoy some pet therapy. Go to sleep earlier. Volunteer. Make time & activities for family time. Get creative by painting, doodling, art journaling, paper folding, etc. Garden or just pull weeds & enjoy being in the sun and dirt. Laugh by watching funny videos or a hilarious television series. Breathe. Avoid social media because it can steal your time & your joy. Disconnect. Declutter to create room and space. Get inspired.

THE BIGGER PICTURE: Start with small steps

Be present with people. I recently met a young girl who works with my daughter at our local aquarium. My daughter has told me many sweet conversations about how this girl makes her laugh, feel included…so, when I met her face to face, I lit up, reached my hands out & grabbed hold of her hands & affectionately shared my thanks for her genuine kindness to my daughter. It was a sweet exchange.
Afterward, my daughter mentioned how she noticed this girls positive reaction to my affection & thought she was genuinely touched in a good way.
I smiled at my daughter & told her to just be present & share love with people. It’s all good.

Give longer, more meaningful hugs—my mom recently had brain surgery & it has been a tough journey seeing her in such pain & struggling. I find myself giving her longer hugs. I’m sure it’s just my way of being grateful she is still around to hug. It has shown me the greater power of hugs.

Let someone else SHINE—my daughter works at the our local aquarium & she is very passionate about educating kids. Just the other day we were visiting the aquarium with some family & friends & my daughter was at a glass tank that had zebra geckos inside. My daughter began to tell her little cousins about them, when all the sudden one of her co-workers jumped right in the middle of everyone & started telling the kids all about the geckos. My daughter stepped back irritated. But, when her co-worker was done, she had everyone clap for him & his great presentation.
My daughter was so irritated & I had to explain perspectives. I told her he obviously needed some Shine time!! I told her she handled the situation beautifully by having everyone give him some shine & celebrating the job he did.
Sometimes we just need to step back & let others shine to make the world a little brighter.

Compliments go a long way—who doesn’t like a compliment?? Everyone enjoys hearing something nice, so spread a little love with a kind word, or a compliment.

Just smile—a smile breaks barriers, connects with kindness, it says ‘I am open’ It is a universal language that just lingers and spreads good.

Remember the ‘Golden Rule’—treat others as you would like to be treated. We learn this at a young age, but sometimes we forget. When a car cuts you off or someone doesn’t smile back at you—just remember to be kind. Don’t get mad or angry.

I have a sweet friend that has grown up in various tough situations, so her exterior is a bit rough sometimes, but her heart is so good. Whenever I drive with her she gets mad at other drivers that don’t wave back if I give a friendly wave of thanks. She gets mad if I open a door for someone & they don’t say thank you. She will literally raise her voice and say, “Your welcome.” I always have to remind her that as long as I am sending out the good vibes of love and care than it is alright. If you are always treating others the way you would like to be treated, then you are doing good in the world. It may not be reciprocated, but as long as you are sending out good, then you are doing good.

Energy–There is energy in all things. Are you being a force of positive or negative energy? Just check in with yourself on this each day. See how you are FEELING and work on being a force of positive goodness.

Be an angel for random acts of kindness–Give someone a water bottle who is working out at the gym, say something nice, give a candy bar to a drive-up attendant, leave a plate of cookies on a strangers doorstep with a note that says, “You are loved.” Leave quarters in a child’s quarter toy machine, hand out flowers at a nursing home…Do something small that will make someone smile.

Research the companies you get your food or goods from to see if they are environmentally friendly (helps or hinders the planet)—My daughter has an app that she can scan food or goods and tell if they use a lot of palm oil, which is ruining & cutting down our jungles. She can easily scan & determine what products are good or bad & what we should not buy.

Put your phone away when you are around others—I have teased my friends and family when we are together and someone is “hiding” out on their phone. I have genuinely asked them if they are hiding out. It usually instantly helps them put away their phone. Be present when you are with people.

Always use your manners–just the basics help everyone feel good. Smile. Say Please and Thank you. Hold gratitude in your heart and be an instrument of good.

Always strive for good things in your life–I smile whenever I see a car sticker that says, “Feel Good” or “Life is Good” or “Good vibes” or “Be the good” because I know that the people driving that car are trying to put out good feelings into the world.

Whether it is good music, good movies, good conversations, good people, good vibes, good notes you send to others, good stickers or good, positive words you say…make it good. Whenever I pull up to a drive-thru for a sandwich or something & the worker says, “How are you doing today” I always say positives like “I am fantastic or fabulous”—it sends a good, positive message & the people are usually really happy to see me. Strive to have good things and spread good things in your life & those around you.

Invest in your relationships—when you ask people how they are doing, genuinely wait, listen and strive to go deeper with your relationships with people. Really connect, ask questions and be interested. We have way too many shallow and meaningless relationships. Take the time to talk, listen and go deeper with your connections.

My husband has been traveling for work and meeting and spending time with a lot of different people he works with. Whenever he comes home, I ask him, “What did you learn about so and so.” Take the time to invest in others.

Always have a growth mindset & be willing to learn and grow in all you do. I think it is when we become stagnant that we get off track to becoming our best self. If you are striving to learn new things, experience things that scare you, challenge yourself to get better each day, and are pushing yourself to become better—even just a little, then you are going forward. You are becoming a little better each day for yourself and the world around you.

f683c10ff13b3a512ef75d08f0e2f800--one-tree-motivational-thoughts Be an example of someone who is a light in the world. Be Someone who is striving to do a little better each day. I hope you can begin with these ideas to help you follow your heart & begin living your life mission. Begin small, but begin.

Peace, Love and JOY to you today. -H

A little Star of Hope & Light

Published on April 26, 2019 by goforthegood11 Comment

“Hope itself is like a star—not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only discovered in the night of adversity.” -Charles Spurgeon

My sweet mom had brain surgery about a month ago and it has been a genuine trial for her in various ways. She seems to sleep all the time, her medications make her loopy and unclear, she is frustrated at her rate of recovery, she feels like a weight to my Dad….every day is different & despite her usual cheery disposition and love for life, she has seen dark moments and struggled to find light. It has been hard to see my mom who is always a bright personality & known as “Sunny” be taken to muddy waters and unable to see the surface very clearly.

I usually call my Mom every morning to see how she is feeling & yesterday she shared the following story—She has a very young neighbor that has four or five kids and is suffering from an immune illness called Potts disease. Just last month she spent weeks at the Mayo clinic in Arizona, getting nourishment from feeding tubes. All the while, her small family was in Utah being taken care of by family members. From the stories I have heard it has been one struggle after another trying to get her out of bed.

This sweet woman came over to see my mom & they got talking about my Mom’s doctor. The woman replied, “Don’t you love your doctor. He is such a good man.” My mom was taken back that this woman knew him & the woman began to explain to my mom that at one point her brain stem had began to grow into her spinal column, so she had to have brain surgery to have them disconnected. The woman smiled & expressed to my Mom that she had an idea of what my mom was going through & then pulled out a stained glass star and gifted it to my mom. The woman looked at my mom & said, “I usually buy one of these every time I go through hard things & you have earned this one.” The woman explained that she hangs them in her window to remind her of hope and to see the light in the dark moments of life.

My mom was a little emotional as she shared this story with me & it helped my mom see that even though she is in a dark place, others have been there, are going through more and yet they are able to get themselves to a place of hope.

It was a beautiful reminder to my Mom that she can and is dealing with tough things and that she will get through.

I think it is a beautiful lesson and story for all of us. I hope that no matter what you are dealing with today, you can give thanks for the stars in your own life. We all have dark moments, but those help us see the stars in our life that give us light and hope.

“Only in darkness can you see the stars. -Martin Luther King

-Peace and love to you today. H

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