“But people are oceans. she shrugged. You cannot know them by their surface.” -Beau Taplin//Surfaces
I think this is an incredible thought to think about and ponder. It genuinely gave me chills because of the truth held within this statement.
I often struggle at the surface conversations that seem to be the norm. Why can’t we truly connect and go deeper with people? Why is it such a struggle to talk, be vulnerable, to seek connection on another level, to learn from someone…
I often talk to my teenage daughter about not being afraid to “go deeper” in conversations with friends or people she meets. She tells me she doesn’t want this guy to assume she is getting too deep because she likes him or something.
Is it out of fear of getting to know someone on a more intimate level & feeling like you owe them something? Or is it a fear of having to go deeper yourself?
I am of the genuine opinion that every person we come in contact with has something we can take or learn from.
I recently watched a tv series that was short-lived, but it had life coaches, young adults with dreams & entrepreneurial spirit, so I was intrigued. At first glance, I thought it would be a shallow show with lots of egos, but as I watched each episode I began to see the people break open, become more vulnerable and begin to learn about themselves & one another. They developed deeper connections on many levels.
Here are some great lessons I took away from the show “Dream Quest”
One of the coaches was describing to one of the adults how “To become soft again”—it made me think of “moldable” to be able to create a better version of oneself. To be flexible and agile enough in a way that you could take things in, learn, create, change, move differently…take things for your life & make it better.
“Boundaries are not limiting, they are liberating.” The coaches were illustrating a point to one of the adults on the show. They were trying to show him how it is easier for people to pull or drag you down than it is for you to lift them up. That is why it is so important to surround yourself with good people. (They did a great visual–they put Tim (big guy on the show) up on a table & told him to pull up Kortney (Lifecoach who is a small woman). Tim could not do it. They talked about how it was easier for Kortney to pull him down than for him to lift her up. It was a great visual.
They talked about a study with school-age kids on a playground & they first had no fence (no boundaries) & they watched & observed them & how they played. Then they put a fence up around the playground & they found the kids played longer, were louder, felt safer & more secure. The boundaries were good.
Accountability—center console in your car metaphor
You clean your center as soon as you need to pick someone up at the airport.
You need people to help you be accountable.
Habit—your habits are either helping or hurting you.
The first part of a habit is the hardest part—
Did you know the Shuttle Uses More fuel in the first 7 seconds of liftoff than it does to orbit the entire earth?
As you get through the hard part & are committed to a good habit then it’s easier to go with the flow.
What discipline am I going to add into my life right now to make it better??
Good Communication is 7%words 35% tone and 58% Body language
Do it afraid!! Face the fear of rejection, what others think, regret, etc & do it anyway. Ask yourself. What if I didn’t try….how would you feel?
Choose COURAGE over FEAR
ITS OKAY TO FAIL, just don’t fail to try!!
Comparison & worrying about others will quickly handicap your dream
Take it one step at a time focusing on yourself & where you are going.
Switching your attitude will change everything in an instant. Nothing can be based on circumstances—it’s your attitude about it.
Never give up!
Emotional intelligence & dealing with people
Sympathy—I feel sorry for them…
Empathy—I understand how they are feeling
Empathy is one of the most important traits a good leader can have.
Kylie Jeans words of affirmations with her parents growing up: I like myself. I have a great destiny and people listen to me because I have valuable & important things to say.
Learn from anyone & everyone you can.
I believe you can learn SOMETHING from everyone you connect with. It is up to you whether you take it deeper and have it become more of a meaningful outcome for your own life. Lessons are everywhere—stories people tell us, feelings we get from someone, words of affirmation, life lessons shared via email or social media, a smile from a stranger, a compliment from someone you work with, a sincere thank you….there are so many ways to connect & when these interactions go deeper, they mean more.
Stretch. Learn. Grow. Don’t be afraid to invest in others by connecting on a deeper level. You both will benefit.
Here are some good links to help:
200 Deep Questions To Ask If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/02/40-deep-questions-to-ask-if-you-really-want-to-get-to-know-someone/
Tips for deeply connecting with others https://www.huffpost.com/entry/connecting-to-others_n_1083976
How to listen and build deep connections with people https://theartofcharm.com/networking/how-to-listen-and-build-deeper-connections-with-people/
Hope you will take away some good. Make today amazing. Connect. xoxo -H

To have a personal mission in the world.
YOU: Make a personal difference in your own life to better it. One person at a time, begins with YOU. Until you take care of you, you are not going to be your best self & show up for those in the world who need you.
THE BIGGER PICTURE: Start with small steps
Be an example of someone who is a light in the world. Be Someone who is striving to do a little better each day. I hope you can begin with these ideas to help you follow your heart & begin living your life mission. Begin small, but begin.

Definition of Direction: a course along which someone or something moves.
No matter what—we don’t have a ‘crystal ball’ that will tell us the future. Sometimes you need to step with faith in a direction you hope and pray will be the best for your family. You cannot foresee what will happen next year, five years or next month for that matter. We must ask ourselves, What is important at this moment in our lives.
Take action of some kind–Our neighborhood housing market has spiked and some of the houses have gone for ridiculously high prices, which made my husband and I wonder if we should put our house on the market and pay off some debt and hopefully set ourselves up for a more stable future. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. One day I am in tears because I don’t want to leave the beautiful trees that surround our home or another day our daughter is in tears in fear of leaving. My poor husband sees us in tears and immediately tells us, “We don’t have to move.” It is so sweet to see his reaction. He just wants us happy, but I don’t want the financial burden to be so heavy on him, so deep down I know it would be best for us to put it on the market.
Seek inspiration—sometimes that only comes through a change of some kind.
Follow your feelings–How you FEEL is a huge indicator of the direction you need to go or the actions you need to take. My husband recently was dealing with a very serious issue with his boss. His boss was a horrible leader and treated people with a lack of respect and belittled and bullied. He was all about the power and fear. Everyone was afraid of him and to say anything to someone higher up. My husband was even afraid to say something for fear that he would get a target on his back. I felt and expressed to him, “If no one says anything, nothing will change.” For awhile my husband was okay with not saying anything, but then began to FEEL that he needed to say something because it was so bad & it was affecting so many good people. He knew he needed to be the voice for many, even if it put his job on the line. He spoke to a few of the right people and ultimately his boss was fired. My husband took a huge risk, but he felt like he needed to for the good of his people and the company as a whole. It was a huge lesson to many that you must follow your feelings, have a voice and be heard.
Is there really any “Right” direction?–you will never know for sure in any decision if it is ultimately the “right” decision that leads to the right direction. But, remember nothing is perfect or permanent. Life is ever changing.
Go within and ask tough questions–With any direction you want to ask yourself questions for personal guidance. Whether you pray, take a walk and check in with yourself or journal to understand your feelings, take the time to go within and understand yourself and your needs.
Pursue growth—in any direction you take if you are seeking growth then you will find those things that challenge and push you to grow. Change is the key in anything you do. You don’t want to take a job if it does not challenge you in some way or helps you improve a skill or step into an improved situation. You want to be in relationships that help you stretch and do things that make you a better, happier and more fulfilled person. You want to improve in one way or another in everything you do. When you have a higher purpose in your directions, than ultimately your life will lead you to higher personal paths of growth.
My mom just had brain surgery this week & it has been incredible to see how a person can go into surgery, have your head cut open, have a golf ball sized drill cut into your head & a doctor mess with nerves & then sew it up & staple it back together with 22 stitches and then send you home within two days. I was blown away!!






We had a light dusting of snow last night at my house, but the underlying layer of ice sent cars slipping and sliding out of control. Some people took it upon them self to speed up to avoid cars that slid off the road, only to slide faster. Some people tried to control their car with slow motion & even then there were other obstacles. The biggest obstacle–the giant, salt truck with the snow plow. I am sure everyone saw him coming & felt a little relief that the roads would be better after he did his work. But that relief quickly turned to terror as this huge truck began to slide sideways & barely missed a crossover that was parked on the side of the road after sliding off. Then it was a further chain reaction of no control. Each car that came around the corner began to swerve and slide without control & no where to go but into the large truck.

I LOVE reading about inspiring people and for some reason the winter months my brain needs the boost. The beginning of a new year brought me to the book, “Imperfect Courage” by Noonday Collection Founder, Jessica Honegger.