connection – Page 2 – yourhappyplaceblog

Go Deeper

Published on May 21, 2019May 21, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

4f07b79d2e67ca2f3121eac1e4e955a9 “But people are oceans. she shrugged. You cannot know them by their surface.” -Beau Taplin//Surfaces

I think this is an incredible thought to think about and ponder. It genuinely gave me chills because of the truth held within this statement.

I often struggle at the surface conversations that seem to be the norm. Why can’t we truly connect and go deeper with people? Why is it such a struggle to talk, be vulnerable, to seek connection on another level, to learn from someone…

I often talk to my teenage daughter about not being afraid to “go deeper” in conversations with friends or people she meets. She tells me she doesn’t want this guy to assume she is getting too deep because she likes him or something.

Is it out of fear of getting to know someone on a more intimate level & feeling like you owe them something? Or is it a fear of having to go deeper yourself?

I am of the genuine opinion that every person we come in contact with has something we can take or learn from.

I recently watched a tv series that was short-lived, but it had life coaches, young adults with dreams & entrepreneurial spirit, so I was intrigued. At first glance, I thought it would be a shallow show with lots of egos, but as I watched each episode I began to see the people break open, become more vulnerable and begin to learn about themselves & one another. They developed deeper connections on many levels.

Here are some great lessons I took away from the show “Dream Quest”

One of the coaches was describing to one of the adults how “To become soft again”—it made me think of “moldable” to be able to create a better version of oneself. To be flexible and agile enough in a way that you could take things in, learn, create, change, move differently…take things for your life & make it better.

“Boundaries are not limiting, they are liberating.” The coaches were illustrating a point to one of the adults on the show. They were trying to show him how it is easier for people to pull or drag you down than it is for you to lift them up. That is why it is so important to surround yourself with good people. (They did a great visual–they put Tim (big guy on the show) up on a table & told him to pull up Kortney (Lifecoach who is a small woman). Tim could not do it. They talked about how it was easier for Kortney to pull him down than for him to lift her up. It was a great visual.

They talked about a study with school-age kids on a playground & they first had no fence (no boundaries) & they watched & observed them & how they played. Then they put a fence up around the playground & they found the kids played longer, were louder, felt safer & more secure. The boundaries were good.

Accountability—center console in your car metaphor
You clean your center as soon as you need to pick someone up at the airport.
You need people to help you be accountable.

Habit—your habits are either helping or hurting you.
The first part of a habit is the hardest part—
Did you know the Shuttle Uses More fuel in the first 7 seconds of liftoff than it does to orbit the entire earth?
As you get through the hard part & are committed to a good habit then it’s easier to go with the flow.

What discipline am I going to add into my life right now to make it better??

Good Communication is 7%words 35% tone and 58% Body language

Do it afraid!! Face the fear of rejection, what others think, regret, etc & do it anyway. Ask yourself. What if I didn’t try….how would you feel?
Choose COURAGE over FEAR
ITS OKAY TO FAIL, just don’t fail to try!!

Comparison & worrying about others will quickly handicap your dream
Take it one step at a time focusing on yourself & where you are going.

Switching your attitude will change everything in an instant. Nothing can be based on circumstances—it’s your attitude about it.

Never give up!

Emotional intelligence & dealing with people
Sympathy—I feel sorry for them…
Empathy—I understand how they are feeling
Empathy is one of the most important traits a good leader can have.

Kylie Jeans words of affirmations with her parents growing up: I like myself. I have a great destiny and people listen to me because I have valuable & important things to say.

Learn from anyone & everyone you can.

I believe you can learn SOMETHING from everyone you connect with. It is up to you whether you take it deeper and have it become more of a meaningful outcome for your own life. Lessons are everywhere—stories people tell us, feelings we get from someone, words of affirmation, life lessons shared via email or social media, a smile from a stranger, a compliment from someone you work with, a sincere thank you….there are so many ways to connect & when these interactions go deeper, they mean more.

Stretch. Learn. Grow. Don’t be afraid to invest in others by connecting on a deeper level. You both will benefit.

Here are some good links to help:

200 Deep Questions To Ask If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/02/40-deep-questions-to-ask-if-you-really-want-to-get-to-know-someone/

Tips for deeply connecting with others https://www.huffpost.com/entry/connecting-to-others_n_1083976

How to listen and build deep connections with people https://theartofcharm.com/networking/how-to-listen-and-build-deeper-connections-with-people/

Hope you will take away some good. Make today amazing. Connect. xoxo -H

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COINCIDENCE?

Published on August 3, 2018August 3, 2018 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

COINCIDENCE

The definition of coincidence found in the American Heritage Dictionary is “A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged.” This definition, of course, begs the question, “Planned or arranged by whom?”

So if our life has an architect, what’s our role in it?

Well, it’s not just to sit on the sidelines watching our life unfold. We can affect our future and our destiny, and God Winks can help us see that our choices are right. ..

We just need to accept that while life is often a mystery, we–each and every one of us–have a role in it as the mystery unfolds. We need to act on our dreams and be present to the appearance of the divine in our day-to-day existence. That is our destiny.

[taken from Squire Rushnell’s book, “When God Winks”

I LOVE his GOD WINK series. There are some incredible stories of coincidence. This morning I was reading one & sharing it with my daughter.

The two men who were most involved in the writing of the Declaration of Independence, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, both died on exactly the same day in 1826.

The same day. But it wasn’t just any day. They died on the Fourth of July, the date on which that historic document was signed. But it wasn’t just any Fourth of July. It was the fiftieth anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. -From Squire’s book

WoW! This is NOT the end of the story. You must buy the book and read the rest of Squire’s personal God Wink with this story. It is amazing.

The point! We all have days or moments where we may feel small or lost in the universe, unsure of direction or where we should go next. But when you read stories about coincidence, you realize the small miracles all around us, nothing is forgotten, timing happens and we begin to see that life is motion. God wants us moving towards good, seeking our best, doing our part and helps us along to where we need to be.

TOUCH

My family started watching an old television series, “Touch” & at the beginning of each episode there are messages.

This show came to me in my own God Wink. My young friend who came to me through a stray cat. (story is on my blog) We have been in close connection for months now & she suggested this series to me & I have loved it. There are some good messages. [FYI: The first show in the series is intense & has a lot going on, but then the stories continue & there are some beautiful moments and great meaning.]

Here is the first message from the series:

We can not help but wonder how much difference one person makes in the world. We look inside ourselves questioning if we have the capacity for wisdom and greatness but the truth is every time we take an action we make an impact, every single thing we do has an effect on the people around us. Every choice we make sends ripples into the world and our smallest acts of kindest can cause a chain reaction of unforeseen greatness. We may not witness the results but they happen all the same.

the point where all things are possible, the moment when a choice is made or an action taken, the breath inhaled before a first step forward and at most the last chain reaction started by those moments and actions and choices are always the ones that are started by love…

“The ratio is always the same. 1 to 1,618 over and over and over again. The patterns— are hidden in plain sight. Just have to know where to look. Things most people see as chaos actually follow subtle laws of behavior. Galaxies, plants, seashells. The patterns never lie. But only some of us can see how the pieces fit together. 7,080,360,000 of us live on this tiny planet. This is the story of some of those people.

There’s an ancient Chinese myth about the Red Thread of Fate. It says the gods have tied a red thread around every one of our ankles and attached it to all the people whose lives we’re destined to touch. This thread may stretch or tangle, but it’ll never break.

It’s all predetermined by mathematical probability, and it’s my job to keep track of those numbers, to make the connections for those who need to find each other… the ones whose lives need to touch.

The show is great, but the beginning “Jake quotes” are my favorite. They make me think about patterns, numbers, connection, fate, coincidence.

When we begin to look closely for the small coincidences in our life…the books we are drawn to, the shows that make us think bigger, the people who we meet that lead us to higher parts of ourselves…we begin to see the larger picture for our life. There are no small things. All those small “signs” lead to the greater good for all.

You are a message in the world. What are you sharing? That is no coincidence.

Be a light. Be a beacon that someone may need. We are holding signs in one way or another for someone else to find.

Peace, love and connection to you today. -H

No Coincidences.

Published on May 24, 2018May 24, 2018 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

da929b61eae52f230f44395585967eee I had a lost cat camping out on my porch for over a month. I wasn’t sure who it belonged to, so I posted ads looking for the owner, asked around my neighborhood, but no luck. Finally, after having this cat rub up against me, begging for attention, I knew I had to find it a good home. I am allergic & could barely touch it. I felt bad, but knew someone could give it the love it needed.

Then L walked into my life. She was just out of foster care, just turned 18 and was finally trying to make a life of her own. She responded to my ad for the lost cat & wanted to give it a good home. L has lots of love to give, so I thought the two would be a great match. Off they went together. At that point, I had no idea what a gift we would be for one another.

L kept reaching out & sending me pics. First she sent me one of her, the cat and a little old lady she helps take care of. L told me that she was trying to get her CNA and was currently helping elderly people at a facility & many of them missed their pets. L was going to use the cat to help the elderly. I LOVED that idea & when I saw the pic, my heart melted. L was doing good things and so was the kitty.

L and I have been corresponding back and forth via text for weeks now. Her story is one of abuse, heart ache, adoption, cruelty, self harm, detention and finally foster care. That last year helped turn her life around by taking her out of a dysfunctional place and giving her hope.

In our conversations I have seen her hope, her big heart, her love of animals and her good will to help people. I also saw her need for connection, her feelings of being alone with no family, her yearning to be loved. So, I invited her over for dinner.

She came over last night & brought her boyfriend. I was honestly not sure what to expect or if it would be awkward. It was a gift to all of us. Both of these young kids, coming from the same small town & having no relationships with their family because of past lives. We all sat around the dinner table talking, sharing stories, connecting and enjoying our differences. They needed love and connection—who doesn’t!! We went on a walk down our forested path, we talked about nature, animals, silly things that made us laugh. L and I heard how similar we are–our love for nature and animals, how we can be misunderstood for our sensitivity, our big hearts, our love for living things (even spiders). We now know we are true kindred spirits. I think we will always be connected in some way. I told L, “I believe there are no coincidences. Kitty brought us together for some reason.” We both just smiled at one another and knew it was true. Getting to know this young girl helped me to once again see how important it is to be in tune to what others may need. We are a gift to one another.

WE ARE A GIFT TO ONE ANOTHER. Is a story, an experience that continues to be told through each one of us. Look at those around you and don’t judge. Just open your hearts and hands to help give them help, understanding, love, kindness, part of yourself.

It is a gift to each and every one of us, if we reach out and grab hold of someone who may need us.

Have a beautiful day. Smile at a stranger. Talk to someone who may look different than you. Listen to a story. Share a moment. You will be better for it. I promise.

Peace to you today. -H

So much to learn

Published on June 5, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

498852229 You never know how you will be impacted by those who come into your life. What will you take away from those experiences of meeting new people or even going a little deeper with those you are surrounded by. We need connection. We need to learn from others and their stories.

Over this past weekend I was able to have my daughter get together with two different girls from her online academy. It was so fun to meet kids with different personalities, backgrounds, to understand their own hopes, to hear about their aspirations, to listen to their dreams. It was inspiring.

One of our new friends had already performed at a famous theater here in Utah as the lead. She sings, dances, sews, knits, plays the piano and guitar & is taking aerial silks. It was fun to get to know her & learn of her many talents. It was also nice to meet her mother who was from Ukraine. At one point during our afternoon I asked this young girl if she ever thought she would visit her mother’s home country to get a better understanding of her mother & her history. The girl looked at me and said, “the country has been ruined from war and I don’t know if we would ever go back. It is not like it use to be.” It was wonderful to listen to stories of how her mother grew up with a father who only put vegetables in the garden and not “beauty.” I took this young girl to a local nursery to pick out some flowers & make our own little pot of “beauty.” She walked the nursery saying, “my mother loves flowers. She would love this one. She loves petunia’s….” It made me have a whole new appreciation for “beautiful flowers.” When we dropped off our new friend, I looked at her mother’s flower pots that she had all over her yard & I thought about her perspective on “beauty” and I smiled at her pots and pots of flowers. We take so much for granted.

20151201183649-young-woman-opening-curtains-hope-window-free-leisure-relaxing-lisht-bright Our other new friend has been suffering from an unknown illness that has put her in the hospital numerous times, has been through three surgeries and still wonders if she is going to be okay. She still has flare ups. We sat at an outdoor eatery & talked about her experiences & how she wants to go into medicine even further because of her illness. She said it was the hardest to see her parents go through everything with her. She was an incredible girl with so many hopes and dreams. I sat and listened to her explain how she had read about a doctor who spends most of his year in third world countries and how she would like to follow in his footsteps. My admiration for her dream soared. She talked about constantly learning about medicine, learning more about homeopathic medicine, trying to find different ways to cope with her illness. She was so strong & so alive & so smart and beautiful. She lit up talking about playing the guitar & piano & is constantly learning new things. She was an inspiration. I thought to myself, she is so young, has learned so much & continues to pursue anything and everything her heart desires. If we could all be like that!! Maybe being sick, wondering if you may live and always searching for answers leaves you aching for more of what life has to offer. I am sure every day is a new day filled with possibility for her.

Spending a few hours with these girls made me see there is always so much to learn from everyone you meet, every day you have. We have so much to learn in this life. We have so many things to pursue, to read, to aspire to see, experience, to dream, to be grateful for…its a beautiful life.

Every single person you meet may have something to share with you, so listen. We can all learn so much from one another.

Peace, love and beauty to you today. -H

Wow! is all I can say–Things I learned from Gregg Braden

Published on March 19, 2015March 19, 2015 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Wow, I am sorry it has been so long since my last post. I caught some awful viral cold that took me down and I am still having a hard time getting up. At these moments when you feel so ill you are gently reminded how grateful you are when you feel healthy and strong. I think you are also humbled at how truly small you are in the grand picture of things. Wow!!

While I have been down I watched a great interview with Gregg Braden and was so inspired, blown away, mind expanded, awaken, challenged…and on and on in so many directions. I LOVE to learn & so when I hear great interviews like this, I have to share all I can. I hope you walk away from some of this great info. feeling the same way—challenged and inspired.

In Search of ‘The Net of Indra or The Field of God of The One… 1800’s late–Scientists argued whether or not there was a field of energy. Those who believe called it the Ether field.
There was a Famous experiment in 1887, The Michaelson Morley experiment –the results suggested there was no “ether wind” so from 1887-1986 scientists got it wrong because of the perceptions from the experiment.
In 1987 the experiment was repeated under the offices of the US Air Force. The results were published in a nature journal under the title “special relativity”–a scientist named Silvertooth reenacted the Michelson Morley experiment with better equipment and the field was detected exactly as Michaelson and morely thought it would.
For over 100 years scientists believed everything is separate and then if something did occur that seemed connected–it was coincidence.
For 100 years now scientists have been looking for unified field theory– it has been elusive to many of the greatest minds in the world. One theory is the missing piece is consciousness. They are constantly looking for the smallest particle and trying to reach the greatest edge of the universe, but still have never reached either. John Wheeler suggested, we are participants in ongoing creation, which implies we may never find either. John Wheeler also found that the particles were influenced by human observation, so if the particles were being observed by someone they were different and danced and moved differently when they were observed and influenced by someone watching them. Gregg Braden loved these concepts because he feels it suggests that we are all artists creating our own canvas of life. We are the canvas, we are the art, we are the artists creating as we go in our thoughts and feelings, emotion, beliefs, expectations, dreams, desires… are the language that allows us to influence these particles, these quantum particles, the stuff of the universe, that makes life what it is. The field that was proven in 1987 has three roles–Number one, the container that holds everything, nothing exists outside of the field. Number two, it’s the bridge between our inner experiences and the canvas of the world. Number three, the field is a mirror that shows us what we have claimed to be true through our thoughts feelings emotions beliefs etc. We can learn to look at it like a feedback mechanism of our greatest desires in our greatest fears and learn from them.
Scientists are still in search of validating this field.

blueheart Interesting twin photon experiment: scientists took one photon split it into two so it would be the exact same particle. They then separated the particles by 14 miles– 7 miles in one direction and seven in the other. The particles reacted the exact same way as if they were one. So even though they were physically separate they acted energetically as one. An example– they spun one of the particles magnetically at the exact precise same exact time the other one did the exact same thing. They call that quantum entanglement of the particles are entangled with each other even though they are physically separate.

Gregg then talked about The holographic principle–holograms and how we are supposed to be living in a hologram universe. Which means, that the smallest part mirrors the whole. An example of a hologram– bookmark that if you were cut it all up in to little, teeny pieces and then if you cut the smallest piece again, if it was a true hologram, you hold that piece in your hand and see the entire book mark as a whole. He suggested if you were to make a little tiny mark on those tiny, little pieces of the hologram, that little mark would then be on every other little piece.
He mentioned how this is very powerful with things like prayer, because the prayer is already with those you loved you just have to bring it about through your heart and concentrate on what you’re trying to say and share. Many people get too caught up in their concern of how they’re going to get there prayer to a loved one lets say in Afghanistan. Greg is suggesting the prayer is already there with them, you just have to almost awaken it. Heartbased experience.

Gregg-Braden-Images_photo_medium Gregg shared that after spending time with monks and shamans and many different spiritual indigenous people, he came to the conclusion of one theme–they do not communicate with this world through their minds, they communicate through their hearts. And to get into their hearts they share what is called The longest journey in the world…The 17 inch journey from the center of your mind to the center of our heart. They spent so much time learning how to get out of their minds and into their hearts.

braden-theworldwesee1 Scientists just recently began to realize how this is important and what we know is this: in addition to the quantum field that connects everything and allows holograph and entanglement. There are other fields as well like the magnetic field of the earth and the magnetic field of the body. Even though we’ve been taught that the brain is the (master organ in the body) because it is the largest & creates the strongest electrical & most magnetic fields in the body. The brain is amazing, but the master Organ is actually the heart. The heart forms in our body long before the brain does. The instructions are really coming from her heart. The heart is now scientifically acknowledged to be the strongest magnetic field generator in the body, as well as The strongest electrical field generator in the body–60x stronger than brain. About 5,000x stronger than the brain magnetically.

heaven Particles that are once joined and then separated physically remain connected energetically. [Wow hearing this one more time like this made me think of being connected to our creator and even though were physically separated–we are always divinely connected. What a beautiful thing]

That is why the language of the heart is so important.

Gregg Braden shared his stories of traveling to Tibet and living there for almost a month and visiting over 12 monasteries and nunneries. He was in a conversation with an Abbot of one of the monasteries. He asked the Abbot a question and waited for his response — what is the stuff that holds everything together the force that holds everything together—The response was “compassion”. Gregg was so surprised that he thought it was a mistranslation, so he asked him again, the answer, again compassion.
The abbot said compassion is the experiences in our bodies and it is the force that holds everything in the universe together.
Gregg thought it was beautiful that this man sitting 17,000 above sea level, in a cold wet monastery, sitting on a stone slab could have such an answer. Gregg was enlightened to understand what key these people have been able to hold onto for thousands of years.

3 experiments of entanglement: done in the late 1990’s.
The first experiment: was performed by the Russian Academy of Sciences: they took a jar of photons the stuff that Atoms are made of. They measured them to see where they were in the jar and the results were not surprised they were completely random. They then did a very innovative move– they took some human DNA and placed it into the container. They wanted to see the effect. Well conventional wisdom said there shouldn’t be everything is separate, so why would DNA affect the photon?? However that’s not what the experiment showed. The experiment showed that the photons were actually influenced by the human DNA they began to line up around the human DNA.

The second experiment: Greg has a personal involvement in this experiment– right after 9/11 he was outside of the country in Australia. The first week he was back he was scheduled to do a conference and speak on these types of relationships in a conference in Los Angeles. Because of 9/11 no one showed up at the conference except the presenters. The presenters chose to present to themselves. He then shared the following experiment with the presenters: the US Army it’s amazing work in the late 1990s. They took DNA from a volunteer they swabbed their mouth to get white blood cells and then placed this living DNA into a device that can measure the DNA and how it responded to its environment. If the DNA in a container in one room and the volunteer in a different room, but quantum entanglement tells us they are still connected. They then showed the volunteer different videos to elicit emotion(ie humorous, war films). They saw the DNA respond exactly like the volunteer. Gregg shared this experiment with the presenters of the conference. Later that night at dinner a man came up to Gregg Braden and said I am the one who came up with that scientific experiment you just reported on. He was Dr. Cleve Baxter and he had designed the experiment for the army. Dr. Baxter said the army stopped at the DNA in one room and the volunteer in another but the scientists didn’t stop, they continued the experiment and took the DNA to Los Angeles and had the volunteer in Arizona. They used atomic clocks and found the same response was instantaneous between the DNA and the volunteer.

The third experiment was done at the Institute of Heartmath: they took a pure form of DNA & isolated the DNA and ask people who were trained in heart based experiences of what we would consider positive and negative emotions–positive emotions relaxed the DNA and elongated it, emotions were able to be expressed more fully. Negative emotions compressed and contracted the DNA, so it was unable to express fully. This is the first time the scientists were actually able to document that human emotions can shape DNA

But what we do know is this… every moment of every day we are having a conversation between our heart and our brain. Depending on those conversations prior to sending signals to the brain to release specific chemicals into the body. If I’m having a feeling of well-being then we will feel like it’s a safe world and our system responds creating more safety, our antiaging mechanisms kick in. If my heart feels threatened then stress chemicals will fill the body and there’s no room for the immunity, your antiaging goes in to fight or flight mode. It Is all based upon the quality of how I am feeling.
Our indigenous ancestors have always believed and now those at heartmath institute are now finding that when we feel specifically–appreciation, gratitude, care, or compassion this creates optimized well-being, a place of healing in our bodies. This signal between our heart & mind is a very low frequency signal. It is such a low-frequency it is almost the same frequency as where Whales communicate.

gregg-braden-quote_healing_020915 Out of the horror of 9/11 some amazing scientific discoveries were made–our satellites positioned thousands of miles above the earth–every 30 minutes the satellites send a signal that tells us how strong The magnetic field of the earth really is. It ebbs and flows each day. On 9/11 there was a huge spike and the researchers had never seen a spike like this before or on both satellites. They were trying to figure out what on earth happened & this led the researchers to understand the collective heart based response, The human emotion that was outpouring in a particular time of that day. It was so powerful that it coupled with the magnetic field of the earth. It showed how everything is connected to the field. It took a tragedy to understand the connection, but what heartmath is trying to to decide is if they can utilize the same connection without tragedy.
Can heart based coherence bring people together in peace. Heartmath has a coalition has sensors throughout the world trying to decipher human emotions trying to see how to bring about human coherence throughout the world.

Well, I hope you will have an open mind, look at the possibilities, have learned something new, and can leave this page a little better. Have a beautiful day. Peace to you. -H

THANKS RASBANDS!! I wanted to share a special shout out to some good friends who made me feel very loved and connected in this world. Since I have been very sick, a special delivery was dropped on my door step. It was a basket full of LOVE and care. It was filled to the brim with sweet notes, favorite things to help battle colds, OJ, books, mags, a movie, a get well bear, natural oils….and so many sweet things to help me feel a little better. It was a loving gesture and very appreciated. Thanks Rasbands!! Love and appreciate you guys.

What do your kids REALLY NEED?

Published on April 5, 2013May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Lately my husband and I have been back and forth on our concern about moving our ten-year-old daughter from a home she loves and the close proximity to her cousins and family for an out-of-state job position. We are in the middle of making the decision to keep a steady income with the possibility of moving or taking a less paying job and staying. It has been a roller coaster of pros and cons. So I thought I would do some research on what children really need…their REAL needs vs COMFORT needs. So, here are some of my findings, mixed in with my own thoughts and feelings. Hopefully these ideas will help encourage you to invest a little more in the children within your life.

CONVERSATION: I strongly believe kids need to be heard and when you truly listen there is a stronger investment in the relationships. Talk to your kids regularly, don’t be too quick to fix their problems or tell them what you would do. Listen and allow them to get out their feelings, to see that you are truly engaging in their needs and concerns. This will help them to always open up and talk. Try and see yourself in their childlike shoes. What may seem like a small problem, to them may be a big experience—listen and empathize. Help love them through.

Tips & Tricks: Have a highlight moment of the day & ask your kids what were the highlights of their day. Play a get to know you even better game in the car & have fun questions for one another. Have fun family questions on the dinner table to pick and choose from when you have a quiet moment together.

CONNECTION: I have heard time and time again that kids who feel closely connected to their parents that they want to cooperate. There are many things to consider when talking about connection like play, hugs and affection, getting rid of outside distractions, etc. It is easier to ask your child to get out of bed in the morning if you spend a few minutes snuggling in bed with them or read them something inspirational before sleep. My daughter loves it when I tickle and rub her arms, we also have personal back scratches that create waterfalls, rainbows, rose petals, raindrops…that help soothe and relax her. Its a good way to connect and help her feel safe. Be present with your child. Focus on being with them then and there. You only have so much time with your child until they are all grown up and move on, so be with them, listen to them, connect with them on any and every level.

Tips & Tricks: According to many sources—people needs 8 hugs a day. So think about, plan it out and give those hugs to those you love…morning, noon and night, just because & always to say “I Love you.” I came across a good quote to remember Focus on CONNECTING, not just CORRECTING.

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” -Virginia Satir

PRAISE & APPRECIATE: Notice the little details in moments of greatness. When you as a parent are awarded a piece of art done by your little one, take a moment and look at the details, comment on the great use of colors, the pattern, the background. Don’t just respond with “great drawing.” Always try to point out the good moments in any situation. My daughter is constantly at odds with cousins touching her stuff and playing with things without asking. I have to talk her through those moments & point out how well she handled the little kids with kindness and patience. Make sure you take special moments to praise your little ones in front of your spouse. Since my husband travels a lot it is fun to sit down together and talk about all the highlights he missed while he was gone. Be silly & make some noise–kids really do LOVE the attention when you yell their name as they jump out of the car and run to the school or when they are performing and you whistle loud and scream their name. Create moments of celebration–whether you have a special dinner in honor of entering reflections, or give a gold coin for good behavior, honor your child for being the special person they are.

Tips & Tricks: Have a special spot (fridge, personal bulletin board, special shelf) to allow children to shine and share their artwork or a outstanding test. Make a special book each year that you include their artwork and special tests, write a special letter & make it a cherished keepsake.

PLAY: have nicknames, special handshakes & songs you make up together. Play creates moments of rituals and tradition. We have special songs we sing for Halloween that we made up together, we have recently created a special “Fairy Day” for the first of May, because fairies have been a special addition to our whimsical world of imagination. My daughter comes home with fun handshakes and teaches them to me & our nicknames go on and on depending on the mood of the day.

Tips & Tricks: Take time to create moments of play together—make fairy houses out of sticks and acorns, tickle each other for the television remote, put puzzles together and make candy bets during card games. Have fun and PLAY!

QUIET TIME: Have some special quiet time as a family. Take 15-30 minutes or more and sit down together–read, write in your journals, meditate, go on a walk, do something that takes you away from the noise of the day. Children need your undivided attention, but they also need quiet spaces. Your time and attention is so vital to the relationship between you and your child. Taking this time together will be able to mend wounds, heal hurts, create moments that will open up conversations and will ultimately take care of any need that arises.

Tips & Tricks: Give your child a special place in their room that is a good reading corner. Have a great chair or pillow where they can read, write, be still. My daughter has just began to write in her journal each night before bed. Yeah!! Create opportunities of quality time with your child. Have a special day each week where you go out together. Have daily quiet time where you just talk or read together.

Additional Tips & Tricks from an Expert: According to Dr. Harley Rotbart, author of No Regrets Parenting–Turning Long Days and Short years into Cherished Moments for your Kids, he said this…

What do kids really need from their parents?

1. Security–Kids must feel safe and sound. This means providing them with basic survival needs (shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm)

2. Stability–Stability comes from family and community.

3. Consistency–Parents must synchronize their parenting. No “good cop, bad cop.” Consistency also means that important values should not be changed casually or for convenience.

4. Emotional Support–Parents words and actions should facilitate kids trust, respect, self-esteem, and independence.

5. Love–Saying and showing you love your kids can overcome almost any parenting “mistake” you might make. Even when kids have disobeyed, angered, frustrated, and rebelled against you, they must know that you love them and that you’ll always love them.

6. Education–Make sure your kids get the best possible education for their future. This, of course, includes school. But it also includes the valuable lessons about life that you provide during the time you spend together.

7. Positive role models–Parents are their kids first and most important role models. Be the kind of person you want them to become.

8. Structure–Rules, boundaries, and limited: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.

Well, I hope these ideas will spark some motivations to do more with your little ones. Happy Parenting. Happy Day. -Heather

Your Harmonic Connection

Published on February 11, 2013May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

In the spirit of LOVE week, moments of couples dancing, love songs to be sung…here is to the power of how music moves you. How it inspires us, touches our soul and connects us. Bless you with love this week.

“You know what music is?? A harmonic connection between all living things.” -Wizard, August Rush

I truly believe this…music holds a key that we rarely tap in to and hardly learn anything about. Recently I heard about Mozart and his ability to almost translate music from the heavens. I was in ah of the thought that someone could have such a divine gift. I instantly downloaded a podcast of Mozart music and began searching for stories and articles on music and the harmonic connection it holds.

I googled information on Mozart and found an article by CBS news about a young prodigy named Jay Greenberg. The article talked of this young boy who has composed five full-length symphonies by the age of 12 (Apparently talented composers might write 5 or 6 symphonies in a life time). The article asked him How is it possible? Jay told the writer (Scott Pelley) he doesn’t know where the music comes from, but it comes fully written—playing like an orchestra in his head. “It ‘s as if the unconscious mind is giving orders at the speed of light,” says Jay “You know, I mean, so I just hear it as if it were a smooth performance of a work that is already written, when it isn’t.”

It was an amazing thought to me, that someone right now (not 200 years ago) is able to hear the harmonious connections between heaven and earth—wow. That is a true gift. An inspired notion of how small we truly are.

I also came across an article about Einstein’s access of Mozart’s gifts. It mentioned how he turned to the simple beauty of Mozart’s music when he struggled with the extremely complicated mathematics that led to the general theory of relativity.

“Whenever he felt that he had come to the end of the road or into a difficult situation in his work, he would take refuge in music,” recalled his older son, Hans Albert. “That would usually resolve all his difficulties.”

Einstein once said, “that while Beethoven created his music, Mozart’s was so pure that it seemed to have been ever present in the Universe, waiting to be discovered by the master.”

This is pretty powerful information when looking at the deep connection music can literally play within us. I believe when we become in tune with who we are meant to become, this is when our higher power can freely grant us the power that resides within us. When we feel good and feel grateful for the beauties of this life, this is when the music within will play freely and we will soar to the extent God sees in us. When we are in tune to our divinity, this is when we will truly be free.

“When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer—say traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep—it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them.” -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Be willing to sit quietly in a morning hour and ask to be touched within, to hear the trees sway in the wind, to listen to the birds, to feel a higher presence in all things.

Put a little LOVE in all you do.

Published on January 28, 2013May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.” – Tom Hanks, Sleepless In Seattle

Sticking with the theme of LOVE for the upcoming, grand occasion of Valentines, I have put together some tiny things that we do around our house to show our LOVE. Hope these ideas spark other little ideas to spread love in all you do.

Keep them cuddly: warm up robes and towels when they get out of the bath or shower. Throw a cozy blanket in the dryer when someone just needs to be bundled.

Do something sweet: write a little note (on the napkin or a tiny card) for someone’s lunch–add a fun joke, a sweet treat they will enjoy or a tiny surprise that is unexpected.

Hand writing: When my little girl is nervous about something at school, I draw a heart on her hand to remind her that my love will always be with her.

Hearts & flowers: We are big Dasani bottle drinkers (don’t worry we recycle!) so I write messages on my families water bottles…hearts, flowers, their names, love notes, feel betters, etc.

Dedications: Dedicate a song while you are driving or buy a special song that reminds you of someone you love and share it with them. (Some good ideas off the top of my head: Bruno Mars “Just the way you are” Rihanna “We found Love” Christina Perri “A Thousand Years” Usher “Without You” Harry Connick Jr ” We are in Love” Train “Marry Me” Colbie Caillat “I do” Joy Williams “Charmed Life”)

Sign Language: Have a fun personal language that you share with each other. Our family does XO with our fingers or signs I Love You or infiniti hearts, you get the idea. Make your own and make it yours. The love will follow.

Nicknames: Have fun, loving nick names that you call one another.

Make food with love: blow kisses into the meals you make, make heart pancakes, heart shaped brownies, swirl your soup in heart shapes.

Basic Care: make them take their vitamins, drink lots of water and wear their seat belt. It is the funniest thing to watch my parents fight over taking their vitamins, but my Dad simply looks at my mom and says, it’s because I love you. Who can argue with that!

Love Notes: leave little notes of love and appreciation anytime and everywhere. Leave them on the bathroom mirror, the car window, computer screen, under a pillow, etc. A cute text says you care. A fun note taped to their toothbrush that says, you make me smile=LOVE.

Pray and give thanks: pray always with a grateful heart for the little things you receive every day…for running water, for good health, that your child made it home from school, that your husband has a job, that you can run, walk, see the blue sky.

Thank you: Write a nice note on the envelopes of your bills, or on an email to your service providers thanking them for the services you receive. Thank them that you have power, heat, the Disney channel!! smile. smile.

Affection: ALWAYS give hugs and kisses, special rendezvous and intimate getaways

Surround your family with good things: Having beautiful things around helps your heart sing. Your heart=LOVE. Have pretty music playing, buy a beautiful bouquet of flowers, have inspiring quotes posted throughout the house, allow lots of light in through the windows

Quality time: I can’t stress this enough!! Go on walks, have reading time together, play games and talk.

Connect: Everyone needs to feel connection in their life, so our relationships are key. Take the time to connect. I am going to include some good Q& A topics to discuss with those you love:

Connect Questions for the one you LOVE:

1. What is something that makes you feel good about yourself?

2. What are 5 things you want to do in your life?

3. Has there ever been anything you were afraid to do? How did you handle it?

4. Some of your favorite things?

5. What trait do you feel people like most about you?

6. Do you feel it is easy to make friends? Do you feel you have good friends?

7. Do you feel you like to be social or would rather be home?

8. What is a truly great memory for you?

9. What does perfect mean to you?

10. What is a favorite gift you have received?

11. What would you like to do more of every day?

12. Answer this…I am happy when…

13. What do you love about your family?

14. What do you love most about your relationship?

15. Think of a tough time in your life…what did you learn from it?

16. Is there anything you worry about?

17. What do you desire most out of our relationship? (good things, things to work on)

18. If you could do anything, what would it be?

19. What is one thing you would change about your life?

20. What would be your ideal Valentines day?

Connect Questions for you to ask your Kids:

1. What is your happiest memory?

2. Why do you like being a kid?

3. One word to describe you would be _______.

4. What advice would you give your parents?

5. If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why?

6. What do you like to do for fun?

7. Tell about a funny time in your life.

8. What is your favorite thing to do? Why?

9. What is your favorite thing to do with your friends?

10. What do you love most about your sibling (or being an only child)?

11. What was the nicest thing you did for someone?

12. What do you think you will be doing 10 years from now?

13. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? the winter?

14. What would be the ideal allowance? Tell me how you would use it.

15. What do you think makes a person good-looking?

16. Name two things we should do as a family on the weekend.

17. What is the grossest thing you can think of?

18. What is something you love about your mom and dad?

19. What is your favorite vacation we have been on?

20. What are 5 things you would like to do by the time you are married? (or in your life)

Well, I hope these tiny ideas have inspired you to think of little things you can do to spread the love in your world.

Lots of LOVE to you and yours. -Heather

Fun ideas for a Couples Bucket List

Published on January 22, 2013May 16, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Wow, Valentines is just a couple weeks away, so I thought the next little while I will post things like couple bucket lists, great information on love languages and fun ideas on how to spoil those you LOVE! Cheers to LOVE WEEK(s)!!

I am going to start with a fun idea that can bring any couple together…a COUPLES BUCKET LIST!! What a great time of year to sit down with the one you love and create a fun list of things you want to do together…for valentines, for the month, week or year.

Take the time to connect. This is a great opportunity to see where your other half desires to be—where they want to go, what they want to do, what aspirations they hold. Sharing hopes and dreams will bring you closer, it will help you focus on one another and the future you would like to create. This is your life together, so take the time to create it, to include those things that matter most and make it a life you will LOVE together.

Here are some ideas I came across in my search…

Here are a bunch of ideas I found…enjoy! Take a nap together, Couples Massage, Go on a spontaneous road trip together, Write one another a love letter, Walk the beach under the stars, Take a bubble bath, Cook a fun meal together, Make pasta from scratch, Swim at night, Fly a kite together, Travel to exotic places together (you decide where), Share random gifts, Go on a cruise, Visit a piano bar, Go to the symphony or ballet, Make a homemade Thanksgiving dinner together, Make a special dessert like Creme Brûlée, Watch an entire television series together (you decide), Hike the Grand Canyon, Train for a sports event together (Marathon, Triathlon, etc), Ride in a hot air balloon, Read a book together, Get a couples massage, Have a picnic on Lake Louise (or another Lake of your choice), Hug a Redwood Tree, Dance under a palm tree in Hawaii, Learn to surf together, Dress up for Halloween in themed costumes, See a live concert together, Build a fort, Take a specific class together, Release floating lanterns, Let go of a balloon with a wish attached to it, Kiss under mistletoe, Spend a day in cuddling, Make snow angels, Kiss at midnight on New Years, Write our own love story, Drive route 66, Visit a rainforest, Make a video montage of our life together, Sleep under the stars, Learn a new language, Adopt a pet, Take photos in a photo booth, Participate in a flashmob, Color a coloring book, Ride a tandem bike, Go to a music festival, Create nicknames for each other, Stay up all night, Go on a specific roller coaster, Kiss at the top of the Ferris Wheel, Take a tram ride, Have a pillow fight, Hike every National Park, Have special couple kisses, Sing together, Skinny dip, Learn to Tango or Ballroom Dance, Go on a motorcycle adventure together, Ride in a sailboat, See whales or dolphins in the wild, Kiss under the Eiffel Tower, Sleep in a hammock together, Learn to truly LOVE…

The list of ideas is endless, so take the time to create your own list with the one you LOVE.

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

A time for family rituals II

Published on November 6, 2012February 15, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

What gifts will you give that will make your family come together…rituals & traditions.

Yesterday I began with some family rituals and ideas to help connect your family on a daily, weekly, special occasion basis. I am following up today with some additional ideas to help bring everyone together.

Alone time:

You can always set aside some personal time and journal, light a candle and listen to beautiful music, go on a walk all alone, etc. Society often makes us feel that it is not normal to want to have some alone time, but being alone is good for the soul. It helps you take the time to revitalize the body and connect with your spirit. Quiet time is quality time.

Bath:

At any point in your day you can stop, light some candles, add bubbles or bath salts, quiet your mind and float in a warm bath. Relax. play pretty music and enjoy the candlelight. When done…blow out the candles and say Thank you. This is so wonderful for your children as well–helps them learn to appreciate self care.

My daughter did not enjoy bathing or showering, so I decided to make it a special occasion. I light a candle and tell her to relax and enjoy her time in the water. It definitely helps & she is always feeling better when she is done.

Birthdays:

Birthday book: have a photo of the child/adult on the front of the album—inside have everyone–friends, guests, relatives, children write something special within the album (they could bring a photo to add to the album, a poem, quote, memory, etc)

Every year I make a special book for my daughter with pictures from the whole year. I write a special letter inside and make it special. I also try to make a DVD of special videos from the year. It makes a fun gift!

Half birthdays: Some families may find joy in creating a half birthday–some because a child’s birthday is during the summer and can’t celebrate it during the school year or many just want a party every six months. ideas: The child selects ONE present of their choice and they get to go out to a family dinner of their choice. You could also honor them with a half birthday cake or royal treatment for half the day.

Siblings: have siblings create a special card for the birthday. Dollar store gift item that represents sibling.

Birthday letter: Each year write a personal letter to the birthday recipient. You could include special letters from mom, dad, grandparents, siblings, etc. Give the book of letters to them on their 18th birthday.

Story of the child’s birth: Type it up and share it with your child every birthday.

Little fun ideas: fill their room with two dozen balloons while they sleep, so this is the first thing they see. Have a special thing you add to their cake—Little doll each year, specialty gift, piece of jewelry in cake…

Yearly Picture: Have a special article of clothing, a blanket, a special spot (on grandma’s swing, childhood chair) and take a picture each year in the same place, shirt, blanket, etc.

Include: Favorite birthday breakfast, surprise decorations, no chores or responsibilities for the day, do something they have always wanted to do, special dessert, dinner, etc.

Special School Lunch: check the child out of school on their birthday for a special birthday lunch.

Other cultural birthday ideas: In Mexico Pinatas are always fun for any festivity, in Argentina children get pulls on their earlobes for their birthday, in the middle east there is a special chair decorated with flowers and fun & the child is then lifting and raising it once for each year of life – plus one more for good luck!

Coming of Age: Many other cultures have ways to celebrate womanhood or manhood…here are a few ideas. Quinceañera is a celebration within the latin culture—it is a special party when a young woman is 15. It could have a theme, but a sweet sentiment is the passing of flat shoes to heels.

Or a special daddy/daughter dance OR Mother/son

Changing from child to adult comes with responsibility…you may want to have a special dinner and have a special handing over of more responsibility, a savings account, additional chores (laundry)etc.

Teaching and educating them through this transition is key…helping them make good decisions about their free time, friendships, and personal values. This is when they begin to leave the nest.

Special ritual: have friends and family sit in a circle (represents the flow of life, the never-ending circle of growth)–Have the mother and child hold hands (or joined with a ribbon) enter the circle and the mother says something like this.. “I brought you into this world and our spirits will be forever joined. However, up until this time, I have led you through life and you have listened to everything I said. If you are ready, then today our relationship changes, and I offer my guidance and ever lasting love, but know that you have started down your own path, and may not always listen. I do hope that our new relationship is one of trust, honesty and warmth. You can cut away our old relationship today, but I will always be here for you.”–break the hand holding chain to a loving hug or cut the ribbon as a symbol of change followed by a loving hug.

This might be a nice time for the song to be played or sang, or a prayer said, then the leader can invite everyone to come forward, take a flower from a vase and give it to the teen (who you have seated by now), and tell them what they wish for their future and adulthood.

Adoption:

I like this idea for Foster Kids as well.

Special Ritual: Invite friends and family (if you want). sit in a family circle. Light a pink candle to symbolize the groups love for the child. Begin by thanking the child for coming into this family. Go around the circle (starting with the parents) and have everyone talk about how important it is to have this child in the family and the community. Add feelings (change, worth, new beginnings, etc). Have everyone share something about themself to allow connection and have the new child share (if they want) something about them and their likes…

Appreciation Box: (for parents or child) Have a special box or basket on a specific day “Parents Day” or “Gotcha Day”—-the day a child arrives or a specific day of the year–celebrate with gifts of appreciation and love. The box or basket is placed outside the recipients door and everyone places gifts of love (put cookies, drawings, a letter, object of love, etc) into the box or basket throughout the day. A little twist: you could place the box outside the door in the early morning & everyone has to fill it before breakfast, then the recipient brings the basket into their room to look through & this clues everyone else to bring in breakfast in bed.

Dealing with Anger:

Anger Sticks, drum: (make them at family night)

When anger comes–encourage the feelings to be released–pound a pillow, cry, shout (not at others), beat the drum or stick…eventually the anger will fade. Then write down a list of what made your child, your spouse angry. Then together burn the list and release the anger.

Anger corner: Have an anger corner within your home with lots of pillows

Anger actions: Have your child do a special action when they are angry—Volcano, count to 10, etc. This worked really well when my daughter was a toddler and couldn’t express herself very well. I would have her shoot her arms into the air like a volcano and change her pattern of anger. It was great to see her switch from anger and focus on releasing it with her little actions.

Express through drawings: have your child draw or write a story about a person who gets mad and what makes them angry—this will help you understand what is upsetting your child.

Healing a fight:

Have a safe place in the home (fireplace mantel, specific shelf, a room, etc)

Make peace doves as a family–1 per person (paper, clay, magazine cut-out, ornament, etc) & put name on it.

After a fight or argument each person (on their own time) goes to the safe place and writes a letter or tape records their feelings–I feel angry because….. NOT “you’re mean. I hate you”

Then each person will turn their dove with their name facing out to symbolize that they wish to make peace (or you could have a small help sign next to the dove–to symbolize wanting to make peace)

The other person(s) involved can come and read the letter or listen to the recording and write their own.

They turn their dove over–which is a symbol that both with to make peace.

They make a time to talk and to make peace. Forgive and hug.

“Contemporary American families are entropic, meaning they drift toward falling apart,” says William Doherty, head of the Marriage and Family Therapy program at the University of Minnesota. “Rituals combat that entropy and help hold families together. Whenever you do a ritual, you are saying `No’ to other activities or people, and becoming what I call an intentional family. Most of us just drift into habits, doing what is most convenient. But ritualizing means to take a hold of activities and ask: does this meet the needs of our family? If it’s something like sitting in front of a TV night after night for dinner, then the answer is `No.’”

First Times:

First day of school, first time driving, first job, new school, first sleep over, first speech….

Power Shirt: create a special power shirt that says “courage” or “confidence”–can be worn under clothes.

First day of school: give the ‘courage’ shirt with a stuffed lion and tell your little one “this shirt will help you feel courage and protect you”

New job: the ‘confidence” shirt will give power and confidence

New School Year: end of summer (or new year) light sparklers together as a family and do a special cheer to new friends, new school year—remind them of the special light within…shine on and be a light to all those they meet.

Have a special family blessing to bless each child as they enter their new year of school. You can have a special blessing chair or give them a special token of best wishes for their first day.

Sweet 16: Special dinner date with Dad/Mom(parents). Give a special piece of jewelry to symbolize letting go of childhood and growing toward becoming a adult.

Decorate their car with cans, signs, balloons in congrats to getting a license.

Cheers to you: Any successes, good grades, making the team, new job. Have a special dinner in honor of the accomplishment. GO around the table and have each person give a cheer of something positive, complimentary, nice about the person, the event, the achievement. Cheers to you!!

Family Tapestry/Project: Create a family tapestry, mosaic table, stone wall (each fabric tile, stone, piece of glass) represents a milestone in the family and is decorated and added to the family project.

Well, that is all I am going to leave you with today. I will continue with the family ritual ideas tomorrow. I will include great holiday ideas to share, so make sure you read my part III.

fyi: many of the ideas I share in the family rituals are taken from a variety of places like Barbara Bizou, Real Simple, Family Fun…I just hope a collection of these ideas will get you creating rituals and traditions with your family.

Happy day. Heather