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Religion of LOVE

Published on March 2, 2023 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

I am the last person to be preaching to anyone. I grew up in a religion that many in the world would say is cult-like, with high-priests, bishops, Strick standards, Heaven vs Hell and if you did not live up to certain practices you would end up in various hells, nowhere near your loved ones in the next life. I fell away from the practices and beliefs because I did not believe any God would complicate anything so much and that many organized religions actually separate people instead of connecting them. Ultimately, LOVE is the basic religion anyone should live. IF you can strive to live in LOVE and begin to see and shine that love in others, the world will be better.

I LOVE to see the authentic smile on this woman’s face. Emotion drives feeling. Feelings fuel us. Live from those beautiful emotions that bring such joy and harmony to one’s life…LOVE is a driving force in all you do. Hold tight to it. Chase it. Live it and constantly choose LOVE over FEAR. There is a greater depth to that life.

How can we begin to see and live LOVE?

BE AN EXAMPLE OF LOVE: “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” —Rupi Kaur I was in a conversation with my brother, who very recently has been drinking very heavily and it genuinely scares me. His soul is becoming jaded from good things and he is seeking and living in so much anger. My conversation with him went like this, “I am trying to influence my family to help them see they are being lied to about various things but they won’t listen.” I calmly responded, “How can you influence anyone for good with so much anger. You must come from a place of love and be an example of this love over any place of anger or ill-will.”

Seek to not judge or find criticism with others . Be lovingly approachable in any circumstance . Seek to grow in love daily by becoming a little bit better each day . Look for ways to be there for another and be the support and encouragement they need . Be someone’s reason to smile . Being honest with your feelings and not falling victim to playing small because of someone else . Seeking to trust another and being a person who is trustworthy . Speaking kindly about others & if you have unkind feelings, not sharing them with others . Stop gossip or spilling the tea . Be the bigger person in a challenging situation .

CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR: “I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.” -Oprah Love is a higher energy, so striving to live from love over any energy of fear will have a huge impact on your life. [I like this–this helps describe this energy: According to science, human beings, just like other creatures, radiate electromagnetic fields from the heart. When you love someone, you can radiate thoughts, feelings, and emotions at the same rhythm. When you achieve coherence in your vibrations and emit higher vibrations, you experience more benefits. It is easier to make decisions and device solutions since your discernment is clear. You also have an easier time deflecting negative attitudes and emotions such as frustration, anxiety, impatience and chronic stress that strains your reasoning.Overall, you will experience more composure when your vibrations are higher. However, it can be hard to maintain a constant flow of high vibrations. If you describe love as a combination of qualities such as attentive care, affection, kindness, gratitude, and compassion, then you experience more love and give more love when these qualities surround you. Low vibrations come from feelings of anger, rage, unfairness, and fear.-taken from The Spring Resort and Spa]

BE LOVE TO YOURSELF: “You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.” “It’s really about changing the conversation. It’s not about perfection. It’s about purpose. We have to care about our bodies and what we put in them. Women have to take the time to focus on our mental health—take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you and treat you the way you treat yourself.” —Beyoncé. Stop being mean to yourself with negative thoughts, harsh emotions, and begin to do things that help you appreciate, nourish and love who you are & who you are striving to become. Whether it is insecurities, body-image issues, you still need to remind yourself of the beautiful things that make you, YOU. Find appreciation for your body. See and believe in the constant wins of gratitude you feel each day. Tell yourself empowering affirmations every morning and go to bed thinking of the good from your day. Fill your life with love in all you do.

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE: “You do not just wake up and become the butterfly—growth is a process.” —Rupi Kaur Instead of blaming or getting angery at struggles and challenges that come into your life. Change or reframe it to look at the situations as opportunities for growth and personal learning.

SEE OTHERS WITH LOVE & COMPASSION: “A person learns how to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by someone else.” —Haruki Murakami. When someone else is angry or unkind remind yourself that everyone is on their own journey. Have patience, love and kindness.

Seek to avoid judging others and their situations. “Love is the absence of judgment.” —Dalai Lama This is easier said than done. I have this lesson continually popping up throughout my life. It is an ongoing practice. Where I currently live there is a large homeless problem within 30 minutes and I find myself having a hard time not judging the crazy guy walking down the street carrying a Jesus cross or people pulling suitcases across a busy street into a wooded lane. I am a work in progress and I just continue to send them a prayer of hope. There are so many broken people traumatized by life. I am humbly reminded of this daily.

EVEN LIVING LOVE YOU NEED BOUNDARIES: “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” —Brené Brown. I was talking with one of my sisters yesterday about a family dilemma she was having with a new brother-in-law that had offended her to a very serious degree. I asked her how she was going to handle seeing him in the future. She said, “I had to pay my therapist some money to get her input on this and she told me to be polite, but that I should never feel I need to go to his home because that could fuel some additional emotions. She told me to ‘have other commitments’ at the time.” The therapist told my sister that she still needed to have her own boundaries—even with family. I would say with family, there are many occasions for personal boundaries. smile. smile. I love a thought that Wayne Dyer (Rest In Peace, Wayne. Love you) would always share and that was, “Everything is an invitation not an obligation.”

LIVE YOUR POWER AUTHENTICALLY: “Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.” -Ellen Degeneres Living love is finding and accessing the part of you that can speak your truth and ask for those things that you need for your life. When you allow others to make you feel small, take your power, make you change or strive to alter your values, you need to step back and evaluate who and what you are giving your power to. YOU are the one and only YOU that will ever be. You may be the one person who was sent here to share a message, create a song, bring about change, inspire a nation, give to a cause, alter a moment. You need to do all you can to live your authentic life and be on purpose for the greater good.

YOU CHOOSE LOVE: “Follow your heart. Your heart is the right guide in everything big. Mine is so limited. What you want to do is determined by that divine element that is in each of us.” -Khalil Gibran. In all you do you evaluate if it is going to serve your life for a better purpose or make you feel inadequate in some way. We are humans. We have feelings that guide us along, but it is only when we try to tune into our FEELINGS that we get to higher places as people. Our feelings are meant to guide us. If you feel good–go…follow your heart or your inner feelings, but if you feel bad then you also need to follow that inner guidance. This is true with anything—thoughts, words we say to ourselves, feelings we have, people in our life, food, addictions, direction, etc. Follow YOUR feelings with LOVE being your guide.

SHIFT IT TO LOVE: “A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love.” -Marianne Williamson. We all have moments, bad days, tears, trauma, so we need to be conscious of when we are getting stuck. When we get sad, have a blue-cloud day or seem to be sinking into emotions that don’t go anywhere good, we need to shift it. The way to do that…get moving, get outside, do things that are going to fill you with good feelings, which will help lead you back to the higher energy of love. I am usually a pretty positive and upbeat person, but I have my days and moments too. Yesterday was one of those days–my hormones were out of wack and I was sinking quick!! My husband got me outside and I ran to the sunshine. Sometimes you just need to seek the light, even sunlight.

GIVE LOVE: “There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves.” -Elizabeth Gilbert. Praise and appreciate. Accept everyone for who and what they are. Namaste [is the very practice of seeing and appreciating the very light of another]. Just the act of sincerely listening. Being of service. Selflessly giving to benefit another . Seeking to be unconditional and selfless in your relationships . Seeking to not manipulate others for personal gain . Being the golden rule to treat another how you would like to be treated . Striving to always keep an awareness of another’s feelings & not wavering in seeking to not hurt or cause mistrust in your relationships . Care for those in your life with authenticity that you are there for them unconditionally.

KEEP YOUR LOVES IN ORDER: Augustine Aurelius set out to discover why it is that most people are so discontent in life. His conclusion was that for most of us, our loves are “out of order”; we have disordered loves. [nickcady.org]

The first time I read about Augustine and his out of order loves it hit me with such truth. When people get disillusioned with any type of addiction (sex, money, food, porn, gaming, selfishness, etc) their loves are out of order. They are choosing the addiction over something else in their life that should be of greater importance. [ie: alcohol addiction over relationship with their family] It makes so much sense. Then, do this exercise below. Evaluate how to help put your loves back into an appropriate and healthy order for your best life.

“It’s useful to sit down and just say, ‘What do I love? What are the things I really love? And in what order do I love them? Am I spending time so I’m spending time on my highest love? Or am I spending time on a lower love?'” Brooks says. “[Time], or your attention or your energy — all that stuff.” -Brooks [Huffington article]

I hope that some of these ideas can get you shifting from Fear to Love, choosing to live from a place of love, but also seeking to understand how and where your loves lie in the order of your life. LOVE is a higher place of living. We need to constantly be challenging our belief systems, practicing gentle nourishment of love with our selves, going beyond the fears that hinder us from growth and finding those deeper places within that yearn to just be LOVE. It is our nature. It is the sweetest depth of who we are. It is a place that feels like home, yet our human experience challenges and binds us to the ego spaces that we find hard to break free from. Follow the love in your life and constantly seek to live from that place.

-Peace, Love and Light to you today. -H xoxo

Wildfire of LOVE

Published on June 29, 2020 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Kindling-the-Fire-of-Divine-Love “Be lit up. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be a light in the dark. Be a wildfire for LOVE.”

Yesterday my daughter looked at me and said, “Wow! 2020 is quite the year!”

The night before there was a fire started by a firework that was five miles from our home & lit up the dark night sky. Hundreds of people were evacuated.

Now, we were sitting in our truck overlooking the valley to see another fire devastating a nearby mountain. Thousands were evacuated and the winds were howling, making the fire run further along the mountain with great speed. We literally watched as pockets ignited and began to get brighter and brighter. Our hearts sank thinking of the families that feared for their homes, all the poor animals & plants that were overtaken by the smoke and fire. We sat and prayed that rain would come and help put out the fire. We talked about the firemen that were probably exhausted working from one fire to another to another.

In situations like this you feel helpless.

Just turn on the news–[actually dont!] 🙂 Our world has been feeling very helpless in various situations. Emotions have flared like wildfires.

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To me this quote states, that there will always be various chaos, but sometimes we have to seek the good that can come from where we are. The world will have haters on every side of every fence, but that does not mean we have to hate. We need to spread LOVE like wildfire. Can you imagine the force for good that would come from a wildfire of LOVE.

All I am saying is, LOVE should always guide our hearts. The world will be stronger and overall better if we can follow good feelings, loving energy, and good will for ALL.

2020 has been a year of ongoing struggle and challenges for the world but also a chance for us to use our LOVE for good. It is an opportunity to look at the pain, the heartache, the hurt and seek to understand and to hopefully find warmth in the LOVE we can give, share, and maybe even spread like wildfire. original-4

What can you do? JUST BE LOVE. It is the little LOVEs that can help fan the flames of kindness, connection, unity, peace and love.

A few ideas of LITTLE LOVES: SMILE. Say THANK YOU. Give a compliment. Remark positively on a blog you enjoy. Give a sandwich to someone in need. Donate things you don’t need. Tell people you love and appreciate them. Send notes of gratitude. Avoid the negative television or online resources that will bring you down. Listen to someone who needs a friend. Share heartfelt praise to those you work with or love. Volunteer at an animal shelter or for a good cause. Make someone laugh with a funny joke. Make a positive sign to share on your street. Share a positive quote, message, video or beautiful photo via social media. Plant a tree. Make a list of things you are grateful for & share it somewhere. Pick up trash at a local pond or field. Be a force for LOVE.

“Those best parts of a good life: little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.” ~ William Wordsworth

Peace, Love and Light to all today. Bless you. Stay safe. -H

DONT let FEAR live

Published on February 29, 2020 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

FEAR is that force that brings with it so many dark emotions, questions that seem to get bigger, actions that scare or minimize. It is the opposite end of the spectrum of LIGHT, LOVE, FAITH, HOPE…

Our world at this moment is in deep FEAR and those fears are bringing about quick actions that are causing more concerns. We cannot change what is, but we can take personal responsibility for how we react, or how we use our energy.

My husband called me and explained that his work is stopping any travel (we are talking in the U.S.) & I shared that with my parents who then mentioned my brother-in-law’s large company also banned travel, their religion has a world conference & told everyone to not travel, the list goes on. I have been thinking of the devastating impact that is going to have on airlines, the economy, hotels, travel, business, etc. Those are just apparent things.

My brother-in-law has been researching masks, ordering boxed food and preparing for the worst. I understand the logic, but if everyone begins to panic—FEAR wins and takes over and leaves us with more fears.

I understand the worry, the health concerns…but with 2 percent being fatal, this virus is seemingly taking bigger control with corporations, stock markets, world trade…the FEAR is taking control in even larger ways. We must be careful of even larger collapses.

I am NOT trying to minimize this world event in any way or make light of people dying and families on larger scales being affected. I just feel we need to each take a moment and pray. Pray that the world can be healed effectively and quickly. Pray that we can send love to those families who are hurting. Pray for the world to hold together. Pray that light can find a way through all the thick fog of fear. There is power in PRAYER. There is power in LOVE over FEAR.

DOES PRAYER WORK? Should we and could we pray across the globe and have a positive outcome?? Here is what I found:

Although science is ill-equipped to prove the existence of God, scientific research does show that prayer works. The literature I looked at states, regardless of God’s existence, elements of prayer are universally valid – across various religions, traditions, and practices. The act of prayer itself has beneficial physiological effects.

Prayer, much like meditation in Buddhism, or concentration on breathing techniques in Yoga, causes the mind and body to focus on singular focal points that align the mind, soul, and physical aspects of a person to lower cortisol levels, improve oxygen utilization, and confer numerous other psychological benefits.

Marilyn Schlitz, Ph.D., and lecturer at Harvard, says, “It’s clear from the correlational studies within the epidemiology data that positive relationships exist between religious and spiritual practice and health outcomes on a variety of different conditions.” Moreover, she says that in a study and confirmation study on intercessory prayer, “the prayer groups had statistically significant improvements in outcome, suggesting that the intervention has clinical relevance.” https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/the-power-of-prayer-science-proves-it-works-has-positive-physiological-effects

A SERIOUS STUDY: Back in 1996 Michael Onstott, then 46, thought he was going to die. Sick with AIDS, he had only a few T-cells left in his body to fight deadly germs. Kaposi’s sarcoma, a form of cancer, was spreading across his body, creating dark lesions everywhere. He was rapidly losing weight. He was deeply depressed. He prepared for the worst.

Two months later Onstott was putting on weight. The Kaposi’s sarcoma had slowed down. His depression had lifted. All of a sudden, he recalls, “I began to be optimistic.” He attributed his miraculously improved health to a new anti-viral regimen.

But doctors at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco had a far more shocking explanation: Onstott, one of 40 men and women in a ground-breaking double-blind study, had been receiving long distance healing energy an hour a day, six days a week, for ten weeks.

Onstott had no idea he had been receiving healings. Although he had signed up for the study, he never met or talked to a single healer. The healers and the patients never met each other. The healers were given the names of the patients and a photo to work with-that was it. While Onstott was in San Francisco, the healers were all over the country, some as far away as New York and Pennsylvania. The doctors overseeing the study wanted to control for the power of touch and the power of suggestion. They were trying to isolate the healing energy in a pure form.

For the healers who volunteered to participate in the study, published in the Western Journal Of Medicine in December 1998, the healing work was quite visceral. “I didn’t just sit there and pray for someone,” recalls Susan Ulfelder, a healer based in Washington, D.C. “I was literally pulling globs of virus out of their fields.”

At the end of the study, Onstott and the others who received long distance healing all did significantly better than those in the control group, even when the new anti-viral cocktails were factored in. They had fewer illnesses, fewer visits to the doctor and spent less time in the hospital. They even had improvements in their moods. The results were so dramatic-and statistically significant–that The National Institutes of Health gave a $500,000 grant to California Pacific Medical Center to do another study of distance healing, this time focusing on glioblastoma, a deadly form of brain cancer. That study is now underway.

Other studies have found that healers can influence plants, fungi, and even cancer cells in vitro, just by intention, even if the healer and the subject of the healing intention were in different rooms, cities or states, as Dr. Daniel Benoir notes in Healing Research. Recently, several double-blind studies of heart patients have looked at the power of prayer, considered a form of distance healing. These studies, including one published in the conservative research journal, Annals of Internal Medicine, on October 25, 1999, found that intercessory prayers significantly improved medical outcomes in the critically ill, even when they had no idea they were being prayed for by people they had never met. “This result suggests that prayer may be an effective adjunct to standard medical care,” wrote the researchers, a group of doctors and scientists.

Why people who pray are healthier article: Stay healthy. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-people-who-pray-are-heathier_b_1197313?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAGgM0uEgsNEOnNyEOEJAg8M4erMvmJu_NG2SpsB2Bc_HBF_WgLEhdvJM1jdRrnsy4Njz7eTqjHa-8rZE1VOO9ngYi7yXruTtzITTFkLb5lA7lVbr1WqvuD25D8bjW9X2ySdf0652U7-MC_UHndnOgOAxr_4nXn00MkjJuJ56Cfbe

SO, DOESNT IT MAKE SENSE WE AT LEAST TRY TO PRAY FOR THE WORLD AND THOSE WHO ARE ILL?? If studies can tell us ‘distant prayers’ have been answered in numerous ways, or how people who pray are healthier, then why would we not put our energy there and focus on FAITH not FEAR for our world.

I pray that you will strive to send good vibes, positive energy…energy that is full of LOVE and LIGHT out into the world and NOT the energy of FEAR. We need everyone to think higher, pray and pray the world will find the solution.

-PEACE, LOVE and LIGHT to you. -H

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A lesson from being totally numb!

Published on March 27, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

I recently have been going to the dentist to take care of some periodontal issues. The serious nature has had me getting intensely drugged and numbed. I left the dentist office two different times looking like I had a stroke (mouth droopy) and my entire mouth numb and left without feeling. Talk about humbling. I could not feel my lips or tell if I was sucking a straw. It was terrible. I felt like Tim Allen…see below..hahaha

Now, seriously. It was humbling and my heart ached for people who suffer from health issues. It made me think of my friend who was pregnant and had a stroke during her pregnancy. She lost mobility and memory. She struggled to find a reason for what had happened to her. She came to the realization that if it was for her child, she could struggle through & then she was thrown into the fire of losing that child. She wondered why. She began to question everything. She fell into a depression. She had not only lost physical mobility, she was now struggling with emotional mobility. She had other children she needed to take care of, so she had to go deep into her emotional reserve and find a place where she could begin to build again.

Today. I hope that many of you out there who do not struggle physically or emotionally will count the many gifts that you take for granted. I know walking out of that dentist office numb made me aware of the many gifts I take for granted. Think about it…A FEW things to get you thinking about the many gifts you are given…

Do you have healthy children? If you need a little more realization on this go watchthe movie, “Miracles from Heaven.” My husband and I balled watching what that family had to go through and endure. It is based on a true story. Just imagine having a sick child & how difficult that would be. Go hug your children and thank the heavens that they are healthy and happy.

Two gifts you opened this morning–your eyes: You have the gift to see. There are many people who don’t take the time to look at the details, to notice the small gifts all around them. Read something. Go outside and look at the symmetry of leaves. Watch the clouds. Enjoy a sunrise or sunset. Notice color.

Do you have abundance? Whether it is fruit available for picking, a grocery store full of a variety of goods, running water, energy, family near, somewhere to live…My sister-in-law just moved to California. They had a house lined up to move into when they arrived, but the day they were to move in, the funding fell through. Luckily they had a trailer to live in while they are trying to work things out. My sister-in-law laughed as she explained their situation, “and I wanted to sell the trailer!” My response, “I bet you are glad you have it right now.” They are living in a trailer, but are abundant with love. They took a day as a family and made it a memory in Disneyland. She joked that they are homeless, but they are in Disneyland and enjoying it. Every situation is different, but if you can find the abundance wherever you are, you will find the gift within the situation.

Do you have love? We all come from love, but sometimes that gets lost in the confusion of life. You may be surrounded by friends and family who love you or you may have a best pet friend or maybe you are constantly searching for love. Do you love yourself? Love can be found in service, caring for another, holding the hand of someone afflicted, listening to someone in need…LOVE is everywhere, it is a gift that may be freely given or you may need to seek and find it. Love is in our nature.

Do you have a healthy body? Many of us take for granted and sometimes abuse the incredible gift we have been given–our body. It is an amazing piece of systematic genius. How are bodies function is a miracle & we do not have to do anything. It runs beautifully. Sometimes it is put on us to take better care of this amazing gift and we need to take it seriously. When we begin to break down, life becomes more difficult. We need to seek out good healthy habits. We need to find exercises we love. We need to sleep, drink water and do good things. Do you appreciate the ability to touch, to hear, to breathe, to taste yummy foods, etc. We need to be grateful for the health and happiness we have.

Do you appreciate being able to learn and grow? We have a great ability to learn anything with the help of the internet, youtube, connecting with others, etc. It is amazing!! We are only limited by what we do NOT do. Learn something new & guaranteed you will find a new zest for your life. You will begin to strive to seek out new things more often to enhance your life. You will learn and want to share with others around you. It is contagious! When we don’t seek out new things, we become stagnate and don’t grow. Take the time. It is worth it. Seek to learn something new each day, even if it is something small. You will fill it boost your day. I promise!

Do you have balance? Mind. Body. Spirit. All come together as a whole.

Well, this is a small list, but a good start. Create your own list of things you are grateful for and begin to to truly live, love and see the things that make your life incredible.

Peace and love to you. -H

Lessons learned from the movie Mr. Church

Published on March 22, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Storyline: When a young girl and her dying mother are joined by a black male cook who comes to live with them, little do they know that their lives are about to change forever. fyi: IMDb has a 7.7/10 rating from over 14,000 votes. Other sources may not be so kind. You may have to watch the movie and make your own critique. Smile. Smile.

"Cook" Some would say this is a slow moving movie, but I can appreciate a movie where you fall in love with the characters and wait to find out what happens to them and their stories. I loved seeing a sober side to Eddie Murphy (Mr. Church) and I also love Britt Robertson.

The Lessons I took away from this movie:

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TIME TO IMPROVE YOURSELF–Mr. Church was always doing something that improved his world–reading, writing, playing the piano, painting, cooking…he was a good example of this to “Charlotte”.

I know I left the movie feeling like I had a new sense of not wasting time & have been reading more and filling my time with learning. It was good for me.

YOUR PAST DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE YOU–There may be dark secrets, hidden things about someone’s past, but it does not have to define them. Mr. Church gave and gave, but struggled with demons from his past.

I think we can all take this lesson into our personal lives. We all have pasts that hold scars, wounds, hurts, bad memories, BUT we can also learn from them and do our best to not let them hold on and weigh us down. We can break the chains and be free if we truly want to be. I struggled with this one recently. I had an old boyfriend that I dated for over 2 years when I was younger. I recently found out that he had been put in prison for sexually abusing some young girls. The last couple of years I had memories that kept coming up about when we dated and I felt very violated. I had bad dreams, anxiety, fears…but I had to keep focusing on all the growth that has happened since I was that young girl. We had both changed by choices we made. He took a different path & I did feel bad for the place his life ended up, but I could not give my power away again. My life is full of wonderful things and those worries and fears and memories were beginning to weigh me down and chain me. I was not about to allow that because there is too much good in my life. The past can haunt, but not have control. I took my power back and have not looked back.

ALWAYS BE KIND–Always be kind to others, you never know the impact you may have on someone else’s life. There was a sweet relationship between Charlotte (Charlie) and a guy named Larson. I don’t want to spoil it for you, so you will just have to watch.

I think we truly do not know the impact we may have on others. Our smile may lift another, a kind gesture, a listening ear, a hand to hold. We often overlook the simple connections that are always there to make.

LOVE IS A GIFT— The relationship between Charlie and her mother was sweet and very loving. In the end her mother worries that Charlie would only have memories of the pain of her dying and not all the love that was shared. That was a tear-filled scene. It was very heart wrenching.

I think we can all look at the sweet relationships we have and choose to make them deeper, more love-filled, and more meaningful. Life truly goes by so quickly and it is the little, daily moments shared that will be remembered. Make time to hug, to talk, to spend one-on-one time with those important to you. Have special rituals or things you do that bind those relationships together. Maybe you have a weekly lunch date with best friends. Maybe you have monthly daddy/daughter or mommy/missy dates. Maybe you have a special bed time ritual. Maybe you write your children a special letter every six months. Maybe you have a special dinner to celebrate things your grateful for. There are so many things you can strive to do to connect even more with those you care about.

pictures-that-will-get-you-through-rough-day-27 “Go and do something good with your life” were Charlie’s last words to her childhood friend Owen.

A good motto for our daily life. Go do good!!

PEACE. JOY and HAPPINESS to you today. -H

Lessons learned from the movie With One Voice

Published on January 26, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

df81b0c84a7dd883a1a26ef015803e95-1 I am a seeker of good things. Religion has always been a tough one to grasp for me on a personal level. I have always seen the lines of division and have a deep longing to understand things on a higher level. This movie talks to a variety of different religious leaders and seekers. It had some good lessons to share.

My hope is you can take something positive away. There are always good things if you look for them.

13235-man-alone-walks-water-path-road-sky-clouds-horizon-1200w-tn EVERYONE IS A SEEKER

We already are that which we are seeking.

“Ultimate freedom is not outside ourselves, it is not only within us, but it is our very nature.” -Buddha

“The intellectual can envision what a utopian society would look like. The mystic knows that paradise is within and that we can offer paradise. That we can offer the nectar of paradise. We can offer the banquet table of LOVE for all of humanity and we can all sit at the banquet table together.” -Sufi woman

If you were to bring in 10 lamps of light in to one place, each would be different from the other in form. But when you look at their light you cannot differentiate one from the other.

We make no distinction of our messengers Were you to count 100 apples, 100 fruits, the 100 would not remain, but become 1 when pressed together. In matters spiritual–there are no parts, no numbers, there is no division.

All the great religions of the world have communicated the same universal message–appreciate the diversity of spiritual tradition by seeing g their inherent unity.

Many religious differences stem from different interpretations of the followers. Ex: Jesus had 12 disciples. Those disciples are not on the same level of understanding [as Jesus], so they each create their own interpretation of a message, teaching, experience, etc. They then share their story to others.

IT IS INNER PEACE THAT LEADS TO OUTER PEACE

Hatred and all forms of aggression will cease to exist in the world. Peace in the world will become a reality when individuals realized that we belong to each other.

“Peace is our true nature. The only way to have peace in the world is when people find the peace from within and then share it.” -Swami Karunananda

“War is more about ABSENCE–an absence of care, community, love, etc. It is an aggressive way to state what is truly NEEDED. Humans want more than anything to be in LOVE.” -Dr. Malidoma Patrice Some

“Anger. Hatred. Fear is not part of our essential nature. Not being open to our spiritual nature that disconnection or dis-association, by itself, moves our experiences to the opposite–instead of LOVE there is HATe. Instead of PEACE there is AGGRESSION.” -A. Hameed Alu

Begin with one person–YOU. You affect those who are in the same room with you. Then they go out into the world and affect others and on and on and on.

“If one person feels deeply, sees deeply into the unconditioned nature of the human heart that experience liberates all human beings.” -Joan Halifax, Roshi

LOVE

“Love is the essence that makes thorns into flowers, which transforms vinegar into sweet wine. Transforms the devil into an angel.” -Dr. Mohammad F

“The only way to LOVE is by giving it.” -J Halifax

“Love is an infinite ocean.” -Sheikha Fariha

All spiritual traditions or practices converge in the belief that…we are one with the great perfection of life.

The mystic honors each spiritual tradition and realizes its importance in creating a medium for every person to discover their own personal truth.

354464-j-r-r-tolkien-quote-the-road-goes-ever-on-and-on-down-from-the THE MANY PATHS TO TRUTH

“The reason there are so many spiritual paths is because there are so many different cultures.” -John Daido Loori

“The many birds in the air, each have their own songs. I have yet to see a crow sing an eagle’s song. They were each given their own song.” -grandmother Lillian Pitwanakwat, Ahishinabe Kwe Elder

“A group of people are gathered together and one person stands up and says, “Salads are the only way.” Another stands up, “Pudding is the way.” Another, “Vegan is the only way to go.” We would think that is ridiculous, but we do the exact same thing with religions. -Swami K.

“Wisdom says I am nothing. Love says that I am everything. Between the two my life moves.” -Hindu

The beginning of Love is to know we are the other. True Love knows no boundaries and illuminates everyones heart. The beginning of Peace is to find it within ourselves. It is our own inner peace that leads to peace within the world. The beginning and end of this journey exists right here, right now.

“Is it possible to look around at all the people everywhere and see the gifts? Start with the gift of LOVE. What would the world look like if we converged our frustration into compassion. Our hatred into love.” -Dr.

SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION

“People seek external things.The main mistake people make in life–they seek happiness, they seek meaning in external ways. It is usually only when people have exhausted and convinced themselves that it’s not going to do it that the only other place to look is within.” -Swami K

“What has been invested for inner well-being? We spend so much time creating the external, fixing the outside…”

“Go hike. Stand still. Look at a tree. In the depths of quiet the greatest song can be heard.” -Dr.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

Sit. Look at what your mind is filled with—what are your thoughts? Are they filled with anger, frustration, kindness, love? That is what you are contributing to the world.

In the end, we are all mystics. We all share the longing to find our divine nature. We need only to look within our hearts and listen deeply, so that we will join the conversation and speak with one voice.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Published on January 19, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

2dgfpaq6 Since the month of LOVE is quickly approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to post about LOVE. Not just “Love YOU” sentiments or valentine hearts and kisses, the LOVE that begins with YOU.

I think on some level every single one of us have moments where we struggle with loving ourselves. You may be on one end of the spectrum where you just have moments of self-doubt or maybe you truly dislike many things and suffer through life. On any level, it begins with YOU. You truly cannot love others or give love without beginning with the person in the mirror.

I love how John Lennon puts it

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This made me want to find further information to prove that LOVE truly can conquer all fears and help us begin to love ourselves and others. We need to kick the fear, insecurities, shame, sadness, low energy feelings and begin to replace them with higher frequency thoughts and feelings. When we are able to begin to change FEAR (self-doubt, self-hatred, depression, envy, all the negative emotions) and replace them with LOVE (joy, happiness, self-love, trust, all the positive emotions) then things truly begin to change.

When we begin with ourselves LOVE and light will then radiate in all we do. We can then reach out and LOVE others. We can then have something to give to others. The beautiful circle begins.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND THIS:

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In a joint study with Stony Brook University, Rutgers University, and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, researchers performed brain scans of people in long-term relationships. The couples studied were in a loving partnership for an average of 21.4 years. The researchers found significant activation in the medial orbitofrontal cortex.1 That is part of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain involved in regulating behavior and decision-making.

If we take a look at the brain, we can break the brain up into three major parts. The first part or outside layer is the neocortex, or new layer. This is the last layer to evolve. Going deeper we find the limbic system or emotional brain. Then at the core we find the reptilian brain. This houses our automatic responses such as breathing and instinctual actions.

This small but mighty reptilian brain has the capability to shut down the neocortex and take over. It can literally take the part of the brain where love resides off line. When fear triggers the fight or flight response, brain activity is transfer from the prefrontal cortex in the neocortex to the inner reptilian brain. This can happen when we feel stress or anxiety. In fact, in some people without the behavioral modifying prefrontal cortex keeping their baser impulses in check, can find themselves over-eating, compulsively shopping, gambling, or even turning to drugs and alcohol.

But more importantly to this discussion, stress or fear can weaken the neuro-connections to love. In fact, research at Mount Sinai School of Medicine found that chronic stress or focusing on fear shrivel the connections to the prefrontal cortex.2 Therefor the concept that there is only fear or love is scientifically valid.

To make matters worse, fear is actually stronger than love. When fear pops up, it disconnects the brain from love. However, the good news is that the neuro-connections to love can be regrown. By letting go of fear and anxiety, you get the added bonus of the greater capacity for long-term love. -Taken from dawnmaslar article

YOUR THOUGHTS: The principle is simple: Throughout your brain there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about. It’s very similar to how nerves carry electric from the sensation in your toe all the way up to your brain where it’s actually “felt”.
Here’s the kicker: Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross. This is a microcosmic example of evolution, of adaptation. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together–in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger. Therefore, your first mystical scientific evidence: your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus are changing a physical construct of reality. Let that sink in for a moment before you continue, because that’s a seriously profound logic-bomb right there. -curiousapes.com.

So, what does that mean: You are strengthening your brain with either LOVE or FEAR. YOU decide every second of every day what you are allowing to grow through your thoughts. You are either nurturing thoughts of LOVE or FEAR.

IN CLOSING
It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear. Can you think of a time when you’ve been in both love and fear? It’s impossible.

We have to make a decision to be in one place or the other. There is no neutrality in this. If you don’t actively choose love, you will find yourself in a place of either fear or one of its component feelings. Every moment offers the choice to choose one or the other. And we must continually make these choices, especially in difficult circumstances when our commitment to love, instead of fear, is challenged. –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler from “Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living”

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Begin today to become more aware of what you are telling yourself and what you are living–LOVE or FEAR. It truly is one or the other. Look at it for yourself. You either FEEL good or bad in anything you do, say or feel. Be aware and begin to truly LOVE yourself. This will then begin the beautiful circle that will surround you and all those in it.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

-Peace and lots of LOVE to you today. -H

LOVE & making it better

Published on January 26, 2016January 26, 2016 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Love-Heart-Hands-851x315 With Valentines around the corner I thought I would pass along some useful information that may help the relationship in your life. This past week my husband and I took a couple days to reconnect and spend some time together. My husband has been at a high-level stress with his work & our connection was a bit distant. We decided to take a couple days to get away. So, I invested in a relationship game, The Gottman Couples Retreat Board game, that I thought may be good to help us talk, connect, get out of the stresses of our daily life. It was a fun evening of writing little love notes to each other, playing the game, asking questions and stepping away from the day to day routine.

In the game there are a variety of cards, so I am going to create this post to accompany some of the ideas [ie: Got Facts—I am going to create some facts I collect. Ask open ended questions–I am going to create a questions list, etc] I am not going to take them from the game because that would take away from the game & you may want to buy it and invest in your own relationship. So, these ideas below are NOT from the game. Just the topics are. So here you go…

BUILD LOVE MAPS: LOVE Map: The principle of The Gottman Institute’s building Love Maps is simply this: knowing the little things about your partner’s life creates a strong foundation for your friendship and intimacy. How to do this–Ask Open Ended QUESTIONS: Here are some to get you started…What is your favorite memory of me? What is your favorite thing that I do for you? What movie reminds you of us? What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship? Do you believe I love you? What is your favorite thing I ever did for a special occasion for you? When we are with family, do I make you feel important? What’s another career that you think you would love? What is a favorite memory with your Mom and Dad? Biggest dream location you would like to visit? What’s the happiest you have ever felt? Did you ever talk to your parents? What’s the accomplishment you are most proud of? Where do you want to be living in 10 years? Which of your friends would you choose if you had to be on a desert island with just one? Which would you like most: a summer home, a year-long vacation or a boat? What would you do with an extra $1000 to spend only on yourself? If you could see into the future, what would you want to know? What’s your greatest talent? What is your most unique trait? What is the best thing about our relationship? Are you an optimist, a pessimist or a realist? If you had to change one thing about yourself, what would you pick? How did your siblings shape who you are? What was your favorite date night we ever had? [taken from Lifehack]

OPPORTUNITY: Take opportunities to CONNECT–Go on a walk together & see if you can hold hands the entire time. TOUCH: kiss, high-five, hug, hold hands, tickle…touch & try to for a least 30 seconds. TALK: avoid the usual, “how was your day” and ask thought provoking questions. Sharing this little chat every night really can improve your relationship, says psychologist Angela Hicks, PhD, of Westminster University. She’s found that couples who discuss recent positive events with each other feel happier the next day, with increased feelings of intimacy and connection to their partners. [prevention] GET GRATEFUL: Let them know how much you appreciate them. Share the little and big things you appreciate and love about them. CREATE new memories together: no one wants the same old day in and out routine. Avoid boredom and try new things together. Stony Brook University social psychologist Arthur Aron, PhD. According to his research, novelty is the spice of life—and a key ingredient of a good marriage. You don’t have to give up your favorite couple-time activities, but do make an effort to inject some new plans into the mix: a hike, a cooking class, or even amusement park rides qualify. Just pick something you’ve never done before (or recently) together. Rewarding experiences flood your brain with dopamine, a mood-boosting chemical. “If your partner is present, that feeling becomes linked to him,” says Aron.[prevention] LAUGH: find things that make you laugh together, whether it is a favorite comedy show, a good joke, fun memories, share in the laughter. Appalachian State University study, experts asked 52 couples to reminisce about fun times they had experienced both alone and together; those who liked to recall shared laughs were most satisfied with their relationships. “When people laugh at the same thing, they validate each other’s opinions,” says lead author Doris Bazzini, PhD. [prevention] EXPRESS: do little things to show and express you care. Leave a little note on the mirror that says, I love you. Leave a warm robe or towel for them when they get out of the shower. Buy their favorite drink & write a note on the lid & leave it in the fridge. CELEBRATE: Do you smile when your partner comes home with a pat on the back from his boss or nudges his golf handicap down a point or two? Good, say UCLA psychologists, because the way you receive your significant other’s exciting news may be even more important than how you react during a crisis. In a study of 79 couples, partners who shared excitement for each other’s achievements (“Your hard work is paying off” versus “Can you handle that responsibility?” in response to a promotion, for example) had the most satisfying relationships. Interestingly, how a partner reacted to tough times wasn’t as closely tied to satisfaction. A celebration provides the opportunity to boost his ego and reinforce your status as a team, say the authors, so break out those champagne flutes and start saluting yourselves more often. [prevention]

GOT FACTS: Look at your relationship in a more objective manner. Stop playing the “blame game.” That is not helping anyone.

Learn how to COMMUNICATE. Learn how to listen. Men get the bad rap for never listening, but admit it: You can probably use a bit of a refresher course too. In fact, Harvard researchers say that couples who express the most empathy and affection are most likely to stay together for the long haul. To become a better listener, try these tips from marriage counselor Harville Hendrix, PhD:

Be a mirror. When your partner expresses his or her feelings, show that you’re listening by paraphrasing. Start with “Let me see if I’ve got that: You feel…”
Resist the urge to interrupt. “Instead of ‘Are you through now?’ try ‘Is there more to that?’ ” says Hendrix. “This shows your partner that he or she can feel open and safe with you.” Of course, saying it calmly helps too.
Validate his POV. Finish with “I can imagine that because of [fill in the situation], you feel [angry, sad, guilty, etc.].” [prevention]

RESOLVE a disput: Resolving a marital dispute without damaging your relationship may boil down to a single choice of words. When researchers recently studied disagreements among 154 couples (all married 15 or more years), they found that pairs who used plural pronouns—such as we, us, and our—during an argument were more likely to express positive feelings and report less mental stress afterward. Conversely, those who preferred using “I” during a spat were more likely to have negative emotions and report marital dissatisfaction. “Using ‘we language’ during a disagreement may help couples align themselves on the same team, as opposed to being adversaries,” says lead investigator Benjamin Seider. [prevention]

WORK IT OUT: Working out with your husband kills two big birds with one healthy stone: You’ll likely get fitter, which benefits your sex life too. One study found that 94% of couples stuck to a fitness program when they did it together, which makes perfect sense. You can keep each other motivated, and it’s exciting to explore new fitness activities, like biking or hiking, together. (Here are 7 ways your partner can help you lose weight.) Other research shows that women enjoy sex more when they’re physically active—workouts relieve stress, boost energy, and give body confidence a lift, all great for your libido. [prevention]

REKINDLE the ROMANCE: Last—but most certainly not least—staying intimate and romantically connected is one of the surest things you can do for a happy lasting marriage. But about one-third of couples in American suffer from low sex drive or desire, and getting things back on track isn’t always as simple as splurging on a new negligee or booking a bed-and-breakfast getaway. Here is a link to 13 ways for seriously better sex http://www.prevention.com/sex/better-sex/tips-better-sex Here is a link 14 days to rekindle your relationship by Laura Berman http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health-pictures/days-to-rekindle-your-relationship.aspx#02

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50 “Quick Connects” from the Alabama Community Healthy Marriage Initiative—

Make sure your kisses last at least six seconds. Every now and then go for a full minute.
Feed each other grapes.
Stick a love note in a lunch box, purse or pocket.
Send funny and/or romantic cards by snail mail or e-mail.
Learn how to give a great foot massage.
Wash each other’s hair.
Set your alarm for five minutes earlier than usual to cuddle.
Smile at each other.
Get silly with each other and laugh out loud together.
Grab your partner for a spontaneous dance when a favorite song comes on the radio or stereo.
Make eye contact when you talk.
Hold hands.
Leave a wonderful voice mail message on their phone.
Text a love note.
Send a love e-mail every day.
Leave little love notes in unexpected places.
Send a funny photo on your phone.
Ask about each others’ days.
Listen with 100% attention.
Give a one-minute shoulder massage.
Do something unexpected for your spouse.
Snuggle on the couch.
Touch each other with affection.
Notice and comment about something your spouse does that you like.
Say thank you.
Say you’re welcome.
Be interested in what your spouse is doing.
Tell a joke.
Leave a flower.
Offer to help.
Write a poem.
Read a poem to your spouse.
Cook a romantic dinner.
Offer to cook dinner if you aren’t the one who usually cooks.
Burn a CD with favorite songs, or love songs.
Post photos on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror that remind you of wonderful times you’ve shared.
Bring home great take out for just the two of you.
Say “I love you” in a different way every day.
Slow dance to a love song.
Write a love note on the bathroom mirror. PG rated if you have kids!
Offer to take the kids out of the house for awhile and give the other parent some alone time.
Dip a strawberry into whipped cream and feed to your partner.
At night, step outside together for five minutes and look at the stars.
Sing to each other.
Make a care package with his/her favorite snacks and leave it in the car.
Establish a weekly ritual that you faithfully observe. For example, watching a favorite television program, taking a walk after dinner, putting candles on the table.
Give your spouse a little token to wear as a reminder of your love. (Try for creative rather than expensive.)
Kiss your spouse on the back of the neck.
Flirt with each other.
Watch a sunrise or sunset together.

Learning about Love through Loss

Published on August 12, 2015 by goforthegood11 Comment

It all began last Thursday during a rain storm in Disneyland. My sweet friend who was taking care of our little dog, Buddy, called to let us know she was worried. My heart sank as every scenario went through my mind, maybe he is just missing us, maybe he has slept so much that his little legs are sore and he can barely walk, maybe… I had so many emotions fill me: worry of what might happen, denial that he would leave me before I got home, sadness for my friend that she was even having to worry about the burden & situation she was in, frustration that I could not just blink myself home and be there for my little friend… Within the hour my husband received another call, his face said everything. I was walking off the Pirates of the Caribbean ride when I knew my best friend had died. I began to sob outside. There were people everywhere, but my heart was broken. I looked over at my sweet daughter who never cries & has a hard time showing her emotions, but tears filled her eyes. I grabbed her and we just hugged. We kept hugging as the rush of people passed by in usual Disney fashion.

My sweet friend continued conversing with my husband over the details of where to bury our little dog. My mind raced of what we could do, I just then realized her husband and oldest son had just left for Sturgis & my dear friend was six months pregnant. I felt immense sorrow that she was in this whole situation. That is where my lesson of love came from. To see my dear friend emotional at the whole situation handle everything with such genuine care was a true testament of unconditional love. She stepped right in and did all she could to not have us worry about anything while we were away. She did all she could to take away the sting of our loss. She was the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

Our trip continued on with my entire family, so we were not able to return home for a few days, but my anxiety began to set in as we got closer to home. I would have to face being home, seeing his bed, seeing the spot on the couch that was his, seeing his dog bowls empty, seeing the many places he would be, the doors he would scratch for my attention, the top of the stairs where we would do our yoga stretches together, his sun spots…but most of all I was worried about missing him as we walked through the door. I would miss his excitement that we were finally home, his loves, his kisses. As we pulled in I noticed his face wasn’t in the dog door, my heart began to sink with sadness. I walked through our garage door and before I could begin to cry, I began to see big, colorful hearts taped throughout our house. They were hand cut hearts that had words like JOY, LOVE, You are Loved, Happy…I smiled and felt the love of dear friends. Then I noticed a beautiful flower arrangement left on our table. My heart welled up with gratitude for such kindness. I looked down at Buddies little bed (the spot where he had peacefully died) and I wanted to go find the spot he was buried. We walked to the back of our yard and looked around. We couldn’t miss the spot because there was a handmade, beautifully stenciled name plate made out of a small cut of tree wood. On the top, the word BUDDY with little paw prints circling it. I couldn’t honestly believe the love that was so freely given to our family. I couldn’t believe how genuine kindness could be so lovingly shared. I instantly called my friend to give her my heartfelt thanks through the tears that wouldn’t stop from such a beautiful gift. My friend said, I knew you would miss your little dog when you got home, so we wanted to fill your home with love. It was so sweet and truly touching.

I truly learned such a beautiful lesson through our loss—LOVE is given freely, especially when you need it most.

Thank you Rasband family for lovingly giving so freely in a time of genuine need. You are all a beautiful example of what we all can give, be, do. Love you so. Thanks for being there for us.

Big LOVES to all, especially my sweet Buddy. Peace to you my Soul Buddy. Love you. -H

Truly SEE what is wonderful

Published on February 17, 2015 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

I have this sweet, old, aging dog who has lost his hearing and is losing his sight. He follows me around with his last sense of smell and a dim shadow that I know he catches once in awhile. It makes my heart break, but it also makes me see how grateful I am to still have him in my life. Each morning me and my dog Buddy, I call him my “Soul Buddy” stretch together in the downward dog yoga position at the top of my stairs. I gently touch his paw and he begins the stretch. It is a small, loving connection that we still have this loving bond. As I watch him maneuver the house I struggle to see him trip over an object that may not usually be in his natural path. I observe him barking even louder because his hearing is so faint. It is like he feels he is not being heard, so he needs to bark louder to ensure his voice. Although many things have changed for him, he still is able to find a warm sun spot, he still nuzzles his nose under my arm for a hug, he still does his very best to follow me & be my faithful companion & best friend.

As I watch him I am even more grateful for my own sight, my ability to see the details all around me. I watch him and admire his never ending, unconditional love for someone. I see his willing heart yearn to keep up when we go on a walk, even though his body is tired and ready to turn back. I see him sleep because he needs his rest.

What do I learn and see every day from my little Buddy…

Even though his life may be a struggle, he continues on, he does his best to keep up when things are tough, he loves without limits, he ventures outside & smells everything (because that is all he can do), he gives everything he has and then only asks… for a little love and a little rest.

Are you doing your best? Are you trying to SEE what is wonderful in your own life?? Are you pushing through the struggles? Are you venturing outside and smelling the roses, or taking in the beauty of a sunset? Are you loving those around you? Are you giving something of yourself? Are you doing a little better than yesterday? When you begin to truly SEE the wonderful things in your life, your life will begin to BE wonderful.

-Peace to you and my little Soul Buddy. xoxo