Let go of the FEAR

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Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow.                                  -Phillip Gulley

My little girl woke up in the middle of the night frustrated, tired and immobile in her determination to not listen to any type of reason, to understand her feelings, or to talk about what was truly going on in her young mind. She has always been a wild thing, free in her choices, stubborn in her will and determined in all that she is. I wouldn’t change her because there is so much I admire–I love her spark, her sass, her leader mentality, but there are times when you hit it square on and you are the opposing side and you find yourself unable to talk her off a high point. That is where you find yourself dealing with fears and worry head on! I desperately try to put myself in her shoes to try and understand what she is thinking, why she breaks into emotional tears or why she holds on to a negative situation with an unyielding spirit. It scares me sometimes, but then I try to find the love, to break through the anger with a hug that can almost break the spell. She may fight back, but then you hold that love like a wounded bird that is trying to break free. You know if you hold on long enough, it will realize you are trying to do your best to take care of its needs. She will then emotionally break, her will allows the fears and worry to be free & she gives in to the love that is given.

My daughter has had a lot of anxiety, fear and worry weighing on her little mind lately. She is afraid of the possibility of moving, her best friend just moved away, her beloved teacher is leaving for the rest of the year, the homework she doesn’t understand…her fears may seem small, but to her they are as big as anything we can fathom. Lately I have been trying to read and understand what, if anything, I can do to make her journey a little easier, to ease her anxiety and worry, to set aside the fear and bring peace to her in any way. Last night was no exception. She was worn down, tired, but in a negative place, constantly saying no to any loving suggestion to help her return to sleep. I finally had her jump our my bed & told her we needed to let her worries float away. I suggested we watch a darling youtube video that did just that.  Me, my husband and our little girl laid in bed and watched SOULPANCAKE: Pop your Problems http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcHXiBdyt94  it was a darling example of letting your worries go. We all felt better when it was over. Thanks SoulPancake!!

Here are some other ideas for letting go of worries:

Understand your amazing brain: Watch Jill Bolte Taylor (Harvard expert on the brain experiences a stroke & what she learned from it–amazing). I listened to her talk to Oprah about the part of our brain that is in charge of language, self talk, all ego—she described a peanut size part of the brain is what causes negative chatter & how we need to remember that you can change your thought in a second. You cannot have a negative and a positive thought at the same time, so switch it!! WOW. Aha.

Let it go: Pop it! (like SoulPancake) or set it ablaze. Write down your worries, fears or frustrations, make a fire in your backyard fire pit or picnic area and throw your worries into the fire and allow the smoke to take them away.

Talk about it: Talking about concerns helps take some of the power out of the negative feelings. If you talk about your worries, fears and anxieties it can become less powerful.

Write it down: Write your feelings of worry and fear down in a journal. Get your thoughts out onto paper to help you sort out your feelings, so you can begin to understand.

Walk your talk: In some situations you may need to walk yourself through a fear or worry. You may need to replay over and over in your mind, “I can do this” or “I will be okay.”

Walk or run it out: Exercise is always a good solution to help rid any type of stress, including worry and anxiety. Take a walk, go for a run, get some type of movement that will increase your feel good endorphins and give you a natural boost.

Relax: different relaxation techniques like visualization  help in any situation. A good visualization: Imagine yourself floating along a still lake with your arms spread out, floating on the water and you look up to the blue sky—let go of every worry. Focus on the float. Quiet your mind in some type of relaxation, whether its visualization, meditation or prayer.

Breathe deeply: When you are in the midst of stress, anxiety, fear or worry your body tenses and we often hold our breath or begin to breathe faster. Take a deep breathe. Begin to slow your breath and allow the worries to fade as you breathe out…letting go.

The reality: understand that most of your fears are just a product that your thoughts create. (thoughts that are generated from that peanut size part of your brain). Decide and make a conscious choice—what thoughts will I follow and believe are real. Where is your focus? Is it real or fear based.

Face it: What could you do today to face a fear or conquer a worry that you hold on to? I came across a fun site of someone who was facing a fear every day for a month. Each day they would do something that scared or challenged them on a personal level. What did they learn??  as soon as you go ahead and face a fear–it vanishes. Fear just cannot stand in the light of your confidence and go beyond it. It gets scared. (personal-development-is-fun.com) I thought that was a great reality.

Remember the good: Stress and worry are not all bad. There are times when they push us to make necessary changes in our life. This is when stress and anxiety are healthy and beneficial. Remember—there is always something good held in everything we do. There is always something to help us learn and grow. Have faith in that!

Hope these tips will help.

Have a beautiful weekend.  -Heather

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One thought on “Let go of the FEAR

  1. When I’ve got worries that keep me up at night, I usually write about them or try relaxing with some music, but I think I might like to try your suggestion for letting it go. Letting fire eat up my worries and turn them to ashes seems like a powerful visual symbol for getting rid of the fear and realizing that I have the power to destroy it.

    I hope your daughter’s anxiety doesn’t last long. With the helpful tips you’ve written here, I have no doubt you two can get through it in no time 🙂

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