FAITH IT

FAITH IT

He has your back.

I wanted to share a few amazing stories that illustrate faith, belief and an ever knowing of a larger presence that fills our lives. The first is a very real and genuinely scary experience that recently happened to me.

My little family moved out of state and landed in a small cottage in a beautiful, serene, majestic area of the Pacific North West. It has literally been just over three months and there have been soo many emotions already.

Whenever you move (I have moved many times throughout my marriage–at least 15 times & four different states) there is always a bit of a transition period. It can be a fun adventure full of new experiences and new places or a time of stress. There is always a bit of both, because with any change comes growth. It can be exhilerating and tough all at the same time.

Well, things were going great! We were enjoying our new area, the beauty of this place, new people, etc. Exactly a month later, my parents came to visit & while we were walking the beach with them I came across a woman who was looking for small, red pebbles in the sand. I started to help her look & we began to talk. She asked where we had moved & I began to describe our new home & instantly her face went very sad. She said, “I know that house very well. My dear friends use to live there. Then she paused and said, “I probably shouldn’t say anything.”

I smiled, “You cant do that. What?” She preceeded to tell me that her dear friend had lost everything after her husband had killed himself. She felt bad, left my side and began to walk down the beach in my opposite direction. Obviously the conversation was hard for her.

I think I was in shock, stunned almost. I looked down the beach in the opposite direction at my family & knew I could not say anything. I needed to process this info. 

The next few weeks were tough. When my daughter & husband were gone on a couple work trips, I was left at home with our two, little dogs. I sat up every night with disturbing thoughts running through my head. I wondered where the suicide had happened. I wondered what the story was. I wondered if there was a bad spirit….my mind raced and worried.

It began to take me back to another point in time when my sweet husband had hit a very low point in his life, was depressed and couldn’t make sense of life. He wrote a letter to me & my daughter (who was four at the time) and took a shotgun up a canyon to end his life. Thankfully, he did not end things that day and we worked through depression and got him to a better place in his mind. It was a very emotionally tough time in our lives.

So, with this new information in our new home I became genuinely worried that maybe there could be a negative force or influence that could lead my husband back down that road. My mind began to swirl with worry, fear, negative thoughts of this new experience. 

I did not say anything to my husband about what I had learned for weeks and then I could not take it any longer. I had to tell him the information and that it had been eating me up inside. He was very supportive & said we could move any time & that we did not have to stay in this home if I felt unsure or dark about the situation.

Then, the very weekend my daughter was leaving us for her first college experience and moving away from us, something else unthinkable happened. My husband got a phone call, he gets off the phone and explains that this man had called and was looking for information on the recent sale of our home. He was talking about how he was an appraiser, he wanted to see our documents, was inquiring about info.

My husband said it was a nice call, but strange that the man wanted us to send copies of our contracts to him. My husband never got his name. That evening, our little family was watching a movie when my husband received a text from the same man inquiring about our moving info. and shares his name…Joe Dejel (I did change his name). My husband starts saying the mans name out loud & says, “why is that name so familiar? Who is this guy?”

I about died and I am sure my face turned a few shades grey. I responded, “are you serious right now? Are you serious?”  I then reminded my husband that Joe Dejel was the guy who had been stalking me 13-14 years ago. 

My daughter was sitting between us & becomes genuinely concerned. Like we all were.

Joe Dejel had been following me around our neighborhood for months & then showed up randomly at a CPR class I was taking to get certified as a yoga teacher. He had followed me over 30 minutes away from my home. When the leaders of the class asked his name & noticed he was not on any list I was terrified but also relieved because I was able to at least get his name. It was a terrifying experience to feel like someone is watching and following you. I got the police involved, found out where he lived so I could find out the make of his car & empower myself with knowledge. It was the most unsettling, power sucking feeling and experience.

So, to have this same man call my husband looking for info. having our old address in hand and trying to find out where we had moved, was definitely unsettling to say the least.

My whole body began to panic, everything began to weigh on me, “Why was this happening? Why would God do this? Why would he have two terrible experiences (my husband’s depression/suicide & this man stalking me) that happened so close together be almost playing out again in our lives…..my mind swirled, hashing and thrashing, unsettled, angry, fearful, trapped in worry and soo concerned and unable to understand what I was suppose to learn or what we needed to do. I became a wreck and my sweet husband was genuinely concerned.

My daughter was literally starting college two days later & that was the main reason we moved out of state so we could be a good support system to her in her time of transition & now this!!

I felt terrible for the fear that was brought on. My daughter was genuinely scared for me & jumped on her computer and started changing all of her personal emails, so she could not be found.

It was crazy!!

For a few days, I was a wreck. I was beside myself with worry and concern why this man was showing up in our lives again.  

It seemed like a very scary and difficult time in my life was showing up all over again and it was more than unsettling. Panic, fear, fear for my family, my daughter going off to college, so many emotions and feelings were welling up inside. 

I tried to be strong while we got my daughter off to college. I did not want her scared and worried about whether or not her mom was going to be okay. My daughter had been with me every day of her life, home-schooled & college was her first real experience to be around other people, socialize and find her wings. I was not going to have it all ruined or over-shadowed by a man and his possible intentions. 

We got our daughter off to college. She was still worried because my husband travels for work, so I would be home alone for days at a time. Our little home is surrounded by dark woods, so my daughter was genuinely concerned. “Shouldn’t we call the police,” she shared. 

I tried to calm her anxiety by telling her I would do what I did before, make sure we notify our realtors and neighbors to not share any info of our whereabouts & tried to reassure her that he would have to find a way in through our newly gated community.

She left feeling a little better. 

Luckily, I had a strong front for her but as soon as we got back to our new home, the fear would envelope me and I did not know how to stop it. For a couple of days I pleaded with my husband trying to understand why God would place both of these situations back into our lives. I desperately tried to come to a realization or seek to find some reasoning. My mind whirled with fear, anxiety, concerns of the unknown. 

My husband and I laid in bed Tuesday, September 21 (we dropped our daughter off on the 19th)  and after days of emotions we had the longest night and felt a heaviness within our hearts. My mind went from anger about no one telling us about a suicide to fear of someone breaking in and hurting us. I was jumping from one emotion to another, concerned our daughter was safe, wondering if we should move, feeling so alone and wondering why God would make us feel like this after just moving here. Soo many emotions. 

My sweet husband gently said, “We don’t have to stay here. We can go anywhere. If you don’t feel safe or you feel an energy in this home that is not good for you or our family, we can go.”

Neither of us slept the entire night. We kept talking and fretting about feelings, actions, trying to understand. I was a wreck and he just kept trying to do his best to console me.

The very next day I received ONE message from a sweet niece on my husbands side. She had just started college a month before our daughter, so I had been sending her little text messages of encouragement and love. Our communication was sweet, but just the regular Hellos and happenings. She had never sent me quotes or anything other than personal hello messages.

BUT, that particular morning I received just this quote in a text…this is what it said

“If the devil can’t take you out, he will try to wear you out. Stop obsessing, stop ruimating, stop scheming. Stop rehashing. Stop analyzing. Stop worrying. Give it to God and go to sleep. Since God never slumbers nor sleeps, there’s no use both of you staying awake.”

She said nothing. Only the quote was sent with a couple heart emojis. 

I read it and a peace like nothing I have ever experienced washed over me. I instantly ran to my husband and read him the message. We both looked at each other and said, “Wow.”

It was an answer to prayer, it was a calm like no other. Since that moment I have felt a peace and a knowing that God has our back. Whatever will be perfectly planned. He has taken our worries and freed me. I instantly felt safe. I have felt nothing but a sweet knowing that He is there and knows our every need.

That is the greatest gift. 

__________________________________________________

Zennon story.

I have been walking and walking while getting back in tune with listening to those things that inspire my heart and help me become a better version of myself. What God needs me to be.

I was listening to an incredible podcast…Good Life Project was interviewing Shelly Tygielski

Wow! what an inspiring woman with an incredile story. It was such a fun listen. LISTEN TO IT!

She had soo many great stories to share, but I LOVE a good Godwink story & she had a pretty incredible one. She was talking about her father-in-law and the wonderful man he was. She loved his spirit, but said he always hated the name he was given. For years he would not go by his usual name, Zennon. He told people to call him Chuck. Later in life he began to go by his given name.

Shelly shared that he was getting up there in age, to the point where the family decided to put him in a home. He hated it! He teased that he didn’t like old people. He had a lively spirit, so when covid hit and his facility was effected, it took its toll on Zennon. He contracted covid and was not expected to make it. The family was devestated and because of the situation no family could see him, but by some miracle, some end of life fight, Zennon tested negtive in his final days and family could come and give their goodbyes. 

Shelly and her husband flew to his bedside and were able to give their goodbyes.

She then talked about how hard it was to lose him and was trying to find some consolation in his parting, so she would ask for some sort of sign from Zennon that he was okay. She was so hopeful for some grand sign, but did not see or feel anything. 

It was time for her and her husband to head home, so they had called for a car to take them to  the airport. 

In the hussle of packing and preparing to leave, Shelly’s phone went off with an incoming message. She froze, in shock she yelled to her husband. He rushed to her, “are you okay? Did you forget something?’ Shelly looked at him in disbelief and showed him the phone, “Your Dad is coming to pick us up!” she exclaimed!! Her husband was worried, “are you okay?” He then looked at the phone and noticed the person coming to pick them up was “Zennon”

Sure enough her sign had come and Zennon picked them up and was driving the exact car her father-in-law drove.

Such a great story. The bigger, grander picture. The other side is closer than we can imagine.

_______________________________________________________

I genuinely hope and pray that these stories will leave you feeling peace and comfort in a knowing that God has your back and that there is a bigger picture for your life. Have faith in that!

Peace, Love and Light to you today. -H

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