Category: Self Love

Bring on the SELF LOVE

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ImageI was listening to a podcast this morning & the topic of self love came up & the speaker was talking about how much better everything would be if we would LOVE ourselves. I think this has been an ongoing struggle for me. I think it is an ongoing process to find self love and develop it and nurture it. I am going to periodically post different ways to put a little more self love into your life. Here we go!!

Here are my first suggestions for putting a little more self love into your life.

When we are able to LOVE ourselves then we begin to truly recognize our connection to the divine.

Surround yourself with people who enlighten you: surround yourself with the types of people who will lift and build you, enlighten you about higher living, say things that will teach you about becoming a better person, have conversations that stretch and grow your soul then they will be a source of light and inspiration for your life. People you will yearn to be around. If there are people in your life that drain your energy, that are not kind, say belittling comments,  etc. Make a conscious decision to not spend time or surround yourself with these types of people.

Be gentle with yourself: we are often far too hard on ourselves. If you find yourself beating yourself up over past mistakes, eating something you shouldn’t have, talking negatively to yourself, focusing on the lack, etc. Remember, be gentle with yourself, know life is a walk of learning and growth. As long as you are learning from challenges, there is growth. Be gentle, nurture your feelings, be kind with your heart and begin to recognize, see and understand the bigger picture—you are connected to divinity.

Live with a daily prescribed intention: Look at your life & evaluate what you need to fulfill it–do you need to live with more meaning, do you need to feel more healthy, do you need to feel more connection in your life, do you need to feel more spiritually connected…what do you need to feel better about your life?   Then look at a particular area & set a daily intention of something you would like more of in your life. One example of this: I am working on creating an intention of bringing more spirituality into my home, so I am following the steps in Deepak Chopra’s book ” The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents”  it outlines different things you can do each day of the week to instill more spirit in your home as a parent.

You could do this with a variety of areas & take one thing each day if you like. Look at it as a daily dose of self love—prescribe for yourself something each day that would make you feel a little more loved, valued and appreciated.

Don’t look OUTSIDE look WITHIN: The love you need is held within. It is and always will be there. Sometimes the ups and downs of life experiences begin to bury this love, but it is there, patiently waiting for you to look within to find it. Don’t get caught in the trap of thinking that external things will give you the love you desire. Things can’t buy or give you the LOVE you need.

Take some time to be ALONE: alone time, away from relationships, family, schedules, activities, etc. is nourishment for the soul. Whether you take yourself on a date to the local art museum, go on a walk in the woods, read a book bundled up on the couch alone, have a prayer in your car, or just take a long drive to have some time to be alone in your thoughts. Take some time to be alone in your mind, to go to a place of re-connection, a place where you can hear yourself think, a place where you can pray out loud, take a moment to just be alone—to recharge, to stop, to be still.

Find GRATITUDE: This is always a good thing for self love and self nourishment. You can find gratitude any time, anywhere. You can say it out loud like a prayer of thanks, you can write it down in a journal, you can discuss it with family, you can share it with friends. Gratitude is a great expression from the heart. When we begin to see the little gifts within our life—our life truly changes. The LOVE begins to flow where it is needed most.

LOVE LIST it: We often over look all the gifts we have been given–the talents, the personalities, the things we are good at, the things that make us shine. Over the years I am sure you have heard praises or compliments that brought a smile to your heart. Take a moment and write them all down. Think of anything and everything that people have said about YOU…your beautiful smile, your loving heart, the way you wear your hair, your style, the way you dance, play the piano, the wonderful mother you are, the great friend you have become, etc. Find a beautiful piece of paper and make a LOVE LIST…and list out all the beautiful things people have said about you. Then put it somewhere to make it shine. Somewhere where you can look at it every day and remember the beautiful things that are YOU.

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A couple great links I came across:

A Self Love Quiz—take this quiz and see how you do when the topic is self love. Here is the link   http://www.abundancetapestry.com/self-love-series-take-a-self-love-quiz/

Here is another link to 31 days to Self Love. Check it out and see if it is worthwhile to you.

http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Galleries/31-Days-of-Self-Love.aspx

Cheers to you and the LOVE you need!!   -Heather

Ideas to Nourish your SOUL

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“It takes a fearless soul to live in the mystery.”  -Elizabeth Lesser

To me this says—you have to FEAR LESS to truly believe in the faith of something greater…bigger…the whole of all that is. The awareness that you are Divinely connected to a God that wants what is best for you. From that Divine connection comes a guidance, a belief, a faith that all that is mysterious, unanswered, feared can be hushed with a whisper from the guidance you hold within.

To be able to fear less we must be patient and have a simple understanding of who we are seeking to become. We are little children in spirit, we seek to be better, but our smallness leads us to believe that our greatness is hiding. While we play this game of hide and seek, we must daily seek to understand our deepest needs.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”  -Rainer Maria Rilke

Seek to do things that will bring you closer to what your soul needs, to the higher aspiration of yourself. When we begin to  strive to “LIVE EVERYTHING” the things that help us grow, the moments that challenge us, to have patience with the questions that are unanswered, to jump, to sing, to love, to live…we will begin to be who we are meant to be. Like a child, we begin to shine.

Here are a few ideas to help you on a quest to nourish your soul:

Listen to your feelings: I cannot say this enough. You have inner tuition and guidance that is a gift given to you, but if you do not listen, it is of no use to you. Begin to feel and notice things that are given to you as a direction. Ex: If you are drawn to a book to read–buy it, read it. If you feel you are meant to call someone, do it. We often receive a little nudge to do something, but how often do we do it.  I have a great story that goes along with this. Last week my husband was going on a little day trip & I had this feeling to suggest the audio book, The Traveler’s Gift. He came home in ah of what he had listened to & began to explain the parallels of our life and the character in the book—guy who just lost his job, is married to a brunette, they have one daughter, the main character gets to a point where he tried to take his life…& then the story begins to help him with different life lessons from men throughout history. My husband loves it!! He is listening to the rest of it this week. No question—it was inspired for this time in our life. Listen to the needs within. Allow yourself to be guided & you will begin to see the gifts these directions hold.

Self-worth: Do you have limiting beliefs about yourself that is holding you back. Not loving yourself is a tough place to do soul work. I know I do have limiting self believes and I know it is a process of working through insecurities to get you to a higher place. We often see and focus on our personal inadequacies. Dove did a great campaign that illustrates how we personally see ourselves in a more negative light than most people around us. Here is a link to the “You are more beautiful than you think” Real Beauty Sketches…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE   It is very powerful, so take a look. We need to begin to focus and appreciate our personal strengths and the beauty we truly hold within.

Do things that light you up—things you love: Fill your day with as many possible moments of something you enjoy doing. Whether you love reading to your kids, being with your family, riding a bike, listening to beautiful music, talking with good friends, eating good food, being creative, going on a walk, do something that sings to your soul. Your soul needs nourishment and pleasure, so if you just fill your day with stress and worry, what does your soul have to feel good about.

Get quiet: Turn off the television. Take a break from the world. Take a nap, meditate, yoga, breathe. Quieting your world does wonders for everyone. I have been chopping television out of my daughters routine. Yesterday, I sat with her quietly and told her she could draw, color, listen to calming music and have some quiet time. She sat there with me for a few minutes and then said, “This is stupid. I hate this.”  I calmly shared with her the options again and we decided to snuggle up together and fall asleep. It was nice to see her rest. Her little body goes and goes, so the sleep was just what she needed–she awoke refreshed and relaxed.

Plant something: Everyone has there “something” that nourishes the soul. The other day I was having a conversation with my mom and she was quite emotional. She has been living in my home for nearly two years, after someone swindled my parents out of their retirement. She was having a moment, missing her home, wishing she had more money…I looked at her and whispered, “what do you really need?”  She began to cry even more, “Peace.” She then began to talk about how she missed her yard, how she missed planting flowers, tilling, watering and how it was so nourishing to her soul. I smiled, “we have a whole yard you can plant flowers or we can get you a big pot to container garden.”  She smiled.      Everyone has that little something that helps to nourish within. Seek to find those moments and do little things that will bring you hope, that will make you laugh, that will hold you close to the divinity within you.

Most of all…LOVE. Love reminds us of all things. It heals, it helps, it circles, it connects, it remembers where we truly came from.

Peace to you. Have a beautiful day.  -Heather

10 Lessons learned from Children

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Image“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.

There are seven million.”  -Walt Streightiff

There is an innocence in childhood, a sincere belief that life holds magic, wonder, and beauty to behold. We can learn some things from the children within our life…they hold gifts that can only be shared.

Spending time around children seems to open your eyes to infinite possibilities ..they want to believe in something greater, so they believe in fairies and super heroes. They cherish the littlest things like glass animals and tea sets.  They find happiness held in the magic of an acorn top & fill it with water for the birds or fairies to drink from.  They find friendship in the comfort of a smile, a special handshake or a “pinky promise.”

What can we learn from the children in our lives…here are a few ideas.

BELIEVE IN THE MAGIC OF SOMETHING GREATER: My daughter finds pure delight in anything magical—leprechauns, the easter bunny, St. Nick…and most of all the belief in fairies. Yesterday she received a small, 3.5 inch resin, baby fairy named “Nolana.”  She instantly wanted to find the magic in everything this little fairy did. She found a old, tiny, china tea set that she placed crumbs of food on for the little fairy. She wrapped the little fairy in a tiny, silk blanket, she nurtured and loved this little fairy like it was real. She wants to believe, her heart yearns to believe in magic that is unseen, something greater.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT: Children seem to enjoy every moment as they swing high on a rope swing, dance constantly on an endless reserve of energy or find pure joy in a giant stuffed marshmallow that is burned to a crisp.

JUST LAUGH: Children laugh 600 times a day compared to an adult who only laughs about 47 times a day. Kids laugh at silly television shows, funny words and jokes, making crazy faces, so do what children do & create some laughter in your life.

AFFECTION: Everyone needs affection, whether its hugs or kisses, share it!! At our house if someone is in need of a little love we sign a special X and O (with our fingers) & we instantly know their love tank needs a little filling.

SAY IT: Everyone needs to hear how much you LOVE them. Little children are great at saying “I Love you.” Make sure you are sharing your thoughts and feelings all the time.

DONT RUN ON EMPTY: On that rare occasion a child may come up empty and finally ready to stop, so they take a nap. Adults seem to go and go and go, with no thought of stopping and taking that needed break. When you begin to run on empty, remember to slow down and take a nap. Don’t look at it like you have too much to do & don’t have time for a nap, instead look at it as a recharge for your day.

DONT BE NEEDY: Children truly don’t need much to be happy. My daughter the other day looked at me and said “best day ever!” I was kind of surprised. I replied with a smile, “Why?” “because we have had time to be together. Just us.”  Children seem to be content with little things like quality time, their big purchases are their favorite ice cream, and they don’t seem to care if their socks are clean or not. (Currently working on this one at our house–smile). Life can be enjoyed on a lot less. Lesson–Enjoy the little things, appreciate those around you.

BE FEARLESS: Children are experts at this. They don’t seem afraid to go head first down a water slide, jump out of a tree onto a trampoline, ride their bike with no hands, have mud fights, sell lemonade on a street corner, talk to strangers or say what they think. As an adult you may need to risk falling, to try something new, to find a way to speak your truth, etc.

CREATE: Children are amazing creators. They color, draw, doodle, write, imagine, collect, treasure – everything!! My daughter finds happiness in a new box of markers, she instantly begins to whirl the colors, to fill in mandalas with great detail and create works of art that no one can duplicate. Children have this natural sense of creating–they do it in everything they do, from chalk drawing on the side walk to the cursive letters in their name. Children are a great example of the creative mind in action. What can you do to be creative today??

WONDER: As we grow we seem to lose our sense of wonder. Children are curious about everything. They are constantly asking questions and looking for answers. As adults we need to get curious and wonder about life, about purpose, about things we wonder about. Take some time to walk in the grass and think about things that matter most to you. Sit under a tree and notice the details around you. WONDER is the first part of making your world truly WONDERFUL.

I hope this post helps you see the gifts your children give.

Have a beautiful day  -Heather

Are you important?

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“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”  -Paul Coelho, The Alchemist

I pulled into a local supermarket and as I parked a young girl in her twenties approached the car next to me. I noticed she was in tears, I rolled down my window and asked her if she was okay, she hysterically responded about her boyfriend and how terrible he was to her.

Just then two elderly people (her grandparents) approached her and tried to calm her down. They were not exactly calm themselves. I patiently watched and noticed a small boy in the back seat. I continued to watch the situation, wondering what I could do. The couple noticed that I was concerned and began to share a few details. I listened and slowly got out of my vehicle to help. Many thoughts ran through my head as I surveyed my vehicle looking for anything that may help the situation.

I looked over at the young girl who continued to cry and I said, “You are beautiful, things will work out. Everything happens for a reason.” She graciously said thank you. The grandmother jumped in, “That is her problem, she is too pretty.” My heart sank and a deeper understanding filled me.  I shuffled through my purse looking for a business card and handed it to the young girl and told her to call me anytime for anything.  The older woman looked at me and said, “Are you important or something?” I was taken back, “No, I just like to help people. So please call me if you need a ride, help with your little boy, anything.”

I could tell the situation was calming down, so I left it at that. They were all very gracious.

When I walked away I thought about the comment, “Are you important or something.” The small gesture of giving someone a business card seemed to be a symbol of self-worth in this woman’s mind. I tried to put myself in the perspective of someone dealing with someone’s pain, trying to help her grand child, yet seemingly misunderstanding the deeper worth of a soul.

We often do not see our own value or personal worth, we see job titles, material trophies, the paths that seem to be lit with a seemingly brighter light. We wish and hope for more, thinking that it will help us feel better about our lives.

We forget that we are divine. We forget that we need to go through tough experiences that will bring us closer to our spirit, our inner joy and connection. We forget that we are given everything we need, we arrive happy, but it is our choice what we do with that happiness. Do we nurture it through self-love, giving and gratitude or do we starve it by seeking happiness outside of us??

Ask yourself…Are you important? How do you feel when you ask yourself that question?

Do you look at your life and feel worth (you feel you are moving in a direction to be your personal best, to have a worthwhile life) or do you feel weighed down by life (things seem to be an energy drain, you feel heavy and unfulfilled).

During this month of February, I urge you to take the time to step back and evaluate where you are on a personal level. Do you feel love toward yourself?

Here is a simple exercise to get your feelings flowing… Mirror Mirror

Precious jewel, you glow, you shine, reflecting all the GOOD things in the world. -Maya Angelou

1. Take this work seriously. You could easily just walk away and avoid your feelings for fear of what you will face. Do not walk away from this activity. Take this seriously.

2. Be honest with your feelings.

3. You can use a full body mirror, a wall mirror or a hand mirror for this activity.

4. When you talk to yourself, make sure you look into your eyes. There is a needed connection on a deeper level.

5. Look yourself in the eyes and say, “I love you”

Write down any thoughts and feelings. Be honest. This may be very hard for you to do, so look within for any thoughts or feelings that will help you with the inner work you need to do. (ie maybe you do not like how heavy you look, so you have a hard time looking at yourself…notice these feelings)

6. Ask yourself, “What do you see?”

Write down any thoughts and feelings.

7. Ask yourself, “Who are you?”

Write down any thoughts and feelings.

8. Then say, “I love you just as you are.”

Write down any immediate thoughts or feelings.

9. Finish with, “I deserve love.”

Write down any thoughts and feelings.

10. How do you feel? Did any surprising emotions or thoughts come up for you?? Did you cry? Were you honest with your thoughts and feelings?

Make sure you take the time to journal any thoughts or feelings that came up for you. You may need to work on processing your feelings through self love, acceptance or forgiveness. You may need to go deeper to understand why you had these feelings and explore the reasons.

If you did not have any thoughts or feelings…make the statements again. Look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself, “I love you.” Sit with this statement and repeat it if necessary until you have a reaction of any kind.

If you had loving personal thoughts, embrace these warm feelings and see their strength and beauty.

If you had a mix of loving and hurtful thoughts, embrace the good and seek understanding with the rest.

Nurture and love yourself through this process.

Lots of love to you.   -Heather

Tap into the vision for your life

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IT IS A NEW YEAR! the energy, the timing, the need to organize, to begin again seems to play in the air. This year I had my little family sit down and create individual vision boards. Needless to say, they were very resistant and not very excited to begin such a creative process. I had to guilt my husband into the experience & my nine-year-old whined “noooo!” Yet, after begging and pleading, we all sat down and plowed through a large stack of a variety of magazines.

It was such a fun process to see my little girl get excited about all the animal pictures she could find. Rip, tear, cheers and big smiles, as she found pictures that resonated with her heart. She has always loved animals, but this year she made and sold bookmarks for the World Wildlife Fund, constantly makes wishes & prays for the animals safety, and whenever we visit a zoo gift shop she seeks out the stuffed animal that will make a donation to an animal cause. Her heart has been centered around giving & learning about animals, so it was fun to see her work for hours on a project that she ended up embracing and loving.

My husband sat quietly tearing, while I anxiously waited to see his creation. Every detail spoke of his innate loves—images of triathlons, cooking and flyfishing filled the board. His work has been very stressful, so it only made sense that his deep inner spirit yearns for play, for passion, for things he loves and enjoys.

My images ended up telling me of my need for change, adventure, my desire to be surrounded by nature, to travel, to be quiet.

I wouldn’t have pushed my family to do this activity if I didn’t whole-heartedly believe in the creative process of our subconscious minds. There is a magic, a knowing that seems to exist when we just allow our creative desires to come. The subconscious is a very powerful tool that we tend to overlook or think it may be a little “whoo-whoo.” There is so much that is unknown, something that no one talks about because of the unfamiliarity of the mere chance that someone will mis-interpret our view point or belief.

I have always thought about the depths and power of our mind, but never truly understood or experienced the potential guidance our subconscious holds. This is a great story that taps into how powerful the vision of your life truly is…

I was attending my first women’s retreat coach training in Colorado. There were about twenty women in attendance, none of whom I had ever met. For our first meeting together I was sitting near a beautiful, african-american women (the only one in the group). Our first assignment was to one by one got to a stack of pictures that were upside down on a nearby table, pick one and then sit down. I was curious to know what this had to do with retreating, but I followed along and selected my picture. None of us were to look at the images until everyone had chosen one. We were then broken into groups of five women and we each turned over our images. Well, before I turned my image over I sat in amazement as the beautiful women next to me had chosen a image of a african-american woman holding a small child. She got a little emotional and explained to me that she had one little daughter and the image touched her so. I was shocked by the seemingly beautiful magic that was happening. How else could this happen unless we have a innate, inner knowing of what our souls desire is–it longs to share a deep, inner knowing, a guidance.

Needless to say, I was eager to see my image. I slowly turned over my magazine page and there was a young, blonde boy flyfishing up on a rock. I began to weep. It was like a vision of my husband as a young boy. It looked just like him. I even have a similar picture of him up on a rock flyfishing. It was unbelievable. My husband had recently been struggling with some personal depression, so the image touched me. It was as if it was reading my heart, my love for him, but I did not understand why it was affecting me so much that I was sobbing uncontrollably. I thought for a minute and then it hit me with an even deeper surge of emotion. It was the very day that one year earlier my sweet husband had taken a gun, wrote me a goodbye letter and drove to the mountains to take his life. I wept. I wept at the very thought that my soul had such a spiritual connection. I wept knowing how different my life would be without this amazing man in my life. It was then that I realized the power and knowing of the subconscious mind. How else would I have been drawn to this image?

It was a very powerful personal lesson for me. One that will always stay with me and remind me of the innate gifts and powers that are given to us to help guide us in all we do.

CREATE YOUR OWN VISION BOARD

I wish for you at this time that you will gift yourself the opportunity to have a deeper understanding of what your soul needs and desires. Take the time to create your own vision board. Take the time to nurture your souls desires by taking the necessary steps to make this a beautiful experience. You may not understand some of the images and why you are drawn to them, but do not dismiss the message. There may be something within you that is trying to get your attention and longs for you to see it.

Get a variety of magazines—you can pick some up at thrift stores or buy a variety as a gift to yourself. Say a quiet prayer of inspiration and guidance. Go through each magazine and rip out ANY image that you are drawn to–words, colors, someone who looks fit, a couch cushion that you like, etc. Then go through them again to FEEL which ones you desire to include on your board. Then cut and arrange them on a piece of foam-core board. Put the vision board somewhere that will inspire you. Look at it often & seek any inspiration that it shares with you.

This exercise is to help you find a deeper understanding of your soul’s desire, your personal vision for your life, what is needed and essential for your personal growth. Take the time. Do the work. Create. Enjoy the gifts life has to offer.

-Love and Best Wishes. Heather

Peace

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“At the heart of each of us, whatever our imperfections, there exists a silent pulse of perfect rhythm, which is absolutely individual and unique, and yet which connects us to everything else.”  – George Leonard

Thank God, thank you for any glimmer of a pulse of perfect rhythm. So often, I feel misunderstood, listening, dancing to my own rhythm that I feel few understand.

It is comforting to believe we are each unique, gifted with an existence that is one-of-a-kind. That we originate from an indescribable place that continues to nurture, love and surround us with beauty and knowledge of who we truly are. We are gifted a spark, a glimmer of this perfect rhythm that sustains us on this journey of life. It connects us forever, helping guide us to our truths, our essence and reminds us of the immeasurable potential we have within.

This pulse, rhythm, light shines on. We live our lives by the yearnings of our heart…the silent pulse that plays a song, a beautiful melody throughout everything…throughout our existence. A rhythm bigger than anything and everything. A knowing that connects all.

Listen to your rhythm. Find your way by listening within.

Peace to you.