family – yourhappyplaceblog

HAHA

Published on April 8, 2025 by goforthegood11 Comment

I am living a bit of an unconventional life situation!! My husband of 31 years has been working a job that he took in Montana. He is back and forth…We have lived and moved all over the West for various job positions throughout our marriage. We have always made every situation work!! Having him away makes me even more aware of the things I truly love, miss and value in him. When he is home, we just laugh and have so much fun being together.

I am creating this post for myself, so I will always remember the funny memories, the pranks, the laughter…THANKS, LOVE. I miss you soo much when you are away.

He just left this morning and what did I find tucked away in my workout shoes—a candy wrapper that he had nicely folded and left in my shoe to remember him by! That guy! He is so fun! I miss you, Love.

A couple fun stories that I want to always remember: While he was just here visiting–the two of us were following one another to return his car rental but had to fill up our gas tanks along the way. I pulled in first and my husband was in the diagonal gas pump near me. I smiled at the gas attendant and pointed at my husband’s car, “Please harass that guy in that car, He is from Montana!” The gas attendant smiled and approached my husbands car. I couldn’t wait to see what crazy antic my husband would pull.

NOTHING!! What. so, not like him. hahaha

We dropped the car rental off and I asked my husband what the gas attendant had said to him. My husband smiled at me & told me that the guy told him “that lady wants me to harass you!” My husband then proceeded to tell me what went through his mind… and that he had to do all he could to not jump out of the car…”I was about to get out of the car and make a HUGE scene and say, “I spend one night with you and now you won’t stop following me!!’

I busted out laughing!! I thought it was soo hilarious!! We played back and forth of what we would have said and done IF he had actually done that!! He keeps kicking himself that he didn’t. We laughed and laughed at the funny antics…we would have been yelling from two different cars, everyone wondering what was going on…I responding, “Yeah. you wish. One night…more like 31 years!!” Then we would have got real serious and my husband would have said, “Get over here!” and we would have kissed and smiled, waved and said, “Nothing to see here!!….Only in Oregon!” hahaha.

We just have so much fun!! My husband is always pulling pranks, having fun and is always the one who brings the FUN to any gathering. He makes life a JOY!! He has all kinds of fun impressions like Mickey Mouse, Shaggy from Scooby Doo and He sings like Kermit the frog, but loves it too much to care & will literally leave our neighbors goodies & sing them a telegram type message…My daughter and I often look at one another and laugh at the silly, made-up songs he creates all the time! He is constantly singing…it is hilarious!! He is always up to something…he has done golden egg hunts with his co-workers throughout the office, poppers on toilet seats and door knobs, filled someone’s shower with floor to ceiling stuffed animals and stacked home decor that just fell out when the shower door was opened…he has done the traditional Pennies on faucets, Saran Wrap on toilet seats, Freeway food fights with family, driving around with Michael Myers masks…his Halloween costumes are always crazy [he is so notorious and memorable that one of his young nephews for Halloween dressed up as Jon & it was classic]…he has rolled dozens of golf balls onto our neighbors yard to make him think the golfers on the course were hitting them near his house (our neighbor was so upset, confused and it was hilarious)…took ten bags of raked leaves (from our yard) over to our brother-in-laws and dumped them in his yard……he is always up for a spontaneous illegal firework run because he is a bit of a pyro (ironically we did start our neighbors yard on fire with the whole fire dept showing up–that was crazy **special note to self: Kate & Jon minutes before fire started were in the drive-way with lighters, smiling and looking suspicious as people drove by**)…he hung a scary halloween floating doll “Annie Lilleth” that he rigged to the garage when we opened the door…AND then also had her fly in front of our neighbor’s window…hilarious….he did a RickShaw race with brother-in-laws up a hill and won…he is a huge Survivor show fan & has actually gone to the casting call & made it fun for those there…he is known as the “Bat man” in our neighborhood because we live in a woodland forest with lots of bats & on various occasions they slip in the garage door into the house. He gets his fishing net and wrangles them back outside. BUT, he also pranked me by hanging one in our loft bedroom with a string from the ceiling so it looked like it was flying….ahhhhh. Terrifying!! He is always hiding to scare our daughter or setting up elaborate door traps and getting her to jump–its a bonding thing they try to do to one another…haha…he LOVES to embarrass our daughter and any boy she is dating by announcing, “We have Kate and so and so here” in restaurants, in front of her college dorm, etc…..He embarrasses friends and family with loud restaurant announcements like… it was my sisters birthday and we show up at a local restaurant and what does my husband want to do…walk in with a megaphone with the siren on!! haha.The whole place stopped, shut up in SILENCE and I think everyone wondered if we were there to rob the place. The cooks in the kitchen…EVERYONE in the whole place…stopped. It got silent so quick…seriously!! Then my husband announced that it was my sister’s birthday & had everyone sing!! It was hilarious. BUT One of the BEST…he went on a guys camp trip (with brother-in-laws and their boys) and backpacked into the wilderness. Before he went he downloaded Grizzly bear sounds and when he was there he hid a speaker in the bushes. In the middle of the night he began a little tease that made one brother stop, listen and ask if anyone heard anything. Everyone in their own tents, all listening….my husband waited and then hit the sound again…my husband just laughing in his tent as they all started scurrying, grabbing shoes, bear spray and alerting one another that there was a bear nearby….my husband was rolling with laughter. He got them soo good!! It was epic!

We just have FUN!! Its all the little things that are not even on here—like laughing together, silly dances or food fights in the kitchen, playing off one another and creating fun for those around us—like a pizza party last night where my husband and I started a fun wave with all our neighborhood friends for our neighbor Wayne’s birthday…the “Wayne Wave”—we all laughed and smiled.

My Jon is just FUN!! He always makes me laugh and I miss that most. I miss just having him around whistling, joking, laughing and playing together. We just bring life to one another in the joy…the FUN of life!! When you enJOY someone—life is just better. I miss that most!! When he is here—life is the best!!

So, find those people who bring JOY…surround yourself with them and appreciate the time you have with them. We all know there are plenty of people who KILL JOY or who drain an occasion…be someone who brings the JOY, who lights up a room, who everyone is genuinely HAPPY to enJOY.

THANKS for doing YOU, UNAPOLOGETICALLY. LOVE YOU SO. xoxo

What treasures did you find this year?

Published on January 2, 2025January 2, 2025 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

BEFORE YOU READ THIS….please read my last January Post https://yourhappyplaceblog.com/2024/01/

THEN….you can actually answer this question to your fullest.

WHAT TREASURES DID YOU FIND THIS YEAR? As I ask myself this question and I immediately gravitated to LOVE LETTERS TO MYSELF that I have been writing ONLY since September. For me, seeking a deeper connection with something greater than myself has been a need, I should say longing. When you begin to ask a simple question and then just write what comes to you…its like a secret portal for the soul. Its like another layer to your own story. For me, there is magic in finding the hidden places within yourself. There is a necessary connection to a higher place when you have this knowing that there is more beyond your own stories you tell. There is something greater beyond what you can see and feel and a knowing that you are just a conversation away from that existence. It is a gift. I highly suggest you try it.

Another treasure that I would say….LONG-DISTANT LOVE….TIME WITH THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT. This comes in two-fold. My little family got into a job crisis that caused my sweet husband to pick up and move to a different state so we could financially survive. At one point this year—-I was in one home on the Oregon Coast, my daughter in her apt a couple hours away on her college campus and my husband in an apartment in Montana. Talk about long-distance. We have all been living separate lives, which has been life-changing and also eye-opening. My husband didn’t truly appreciate living in Oregon & his time on the coast–he genuinely just wanted to move back to Utah. Now, he lives in Montana and now talks about just needing to get back home, to Oregon. Sometimes we have to truly lose something to genuinely appreciate it, right? Well, the three of us have been home all together for the holidays. It has been weeks of quality time, laughs, memories, moments creating memories, lots of movies, games and time together. We constantly just keep saying how nice it is to be all together. We are cherishing this time because in a couple of weeks we will all be alone again (my daughter doing a study exchange in France, husband back to work in Montana) and having our long-distance relationships. I don’t think you REALLY appreciate those closest to you until they are gone…or at least…at a distance for a period of time. IF anyone out there is not feeling the love for those closest to you—-maybe take an extreme route and have an extended period of time away to truly find your feelings…to unearth the treasures that you have lost.

The other gift—MY DAD…almost losing my Dad to a five-valve bypass of his heart. He was a walking dead man..that survived. I looked at a picture of him taken for Christmas and thought, “he was almost not even here for that moment…that picture.” Since I am out of the state I flew in to spend some time with him after the surgery. Talk about life-altering. My Dad has always been the picture of health drinking his “green juice” every morning with his supplements, playing pickle-ball with guys half his age, so really he could have probably been gone a long time ago if he had not taken such care for himself. Good for you, Dad!! My Dad has always been the spark that ignites the fun in the family. The guy who works so hard to get family together to make those connections. He has been the one who strives to make it to grandkids recitals or swim meets or soccer games. He truly enjoys his family and those connections. They are his treasure and we almost lost him!! He is the families treasure and we are so grateful to still have him around.

OH, LOLA….This was definitely a treasure and a heart-break. To see the genuine love and care that my husband gave to our beloved dog at the end of her life. To see him sacrifice and clean and wrap her decaying body that was being savaged by cancer and just love her through so deeply. I have seen my husband take care of both of his Dads at the end of their life and I know the great, sincere care he gives, but to see his genuine, deep love for our dog was another level. I watched him with such admiration and bravery as we all escorted one another to the vet to say goodbye. It tore my little family apart. We were all in such tears of despair. To see my daughter so bravely handle such a hard situation, I will never forget. She was stronger and braver than me. I couldn’t be so brave. It was an incredibly heartbreaking day, but our family was there together. The treasure was giving so unconditionally to this little dog that loved so deeply. A dog that my husband didn’t want in the beginning (four years earlier) was now a dog that he has cherished and loved on another level. It was so good to witness such love….that was a treasure. Our Lola…such a gift.

LIVE WITH INTENTION…Learning to be more intentional in all I do from one of our sweet 90 something neighbors who takes time to HANDwrite long cards, she says thank you for every little detail of a gift you give (even down to a banana), she takes yarn and has special knots she ties to make handmade ornaments. She lovingly puts little pieces of herself in all she does. I have boxes of little details she has made that I don’t dare get rid of because I have never met anyone like her. She is a treasure. Thank you beautiful, Patty. You are an incredible example to ALL around you. xoxo

Another treasure—LOTS OF LITTLE MOMENTS that CREATE BIG MEMORIES. Seeing my daughter look up at a giant Redwood tree this year in awe. Watching my daughter laugh with her Dad at funny videos on social media. Walking through the forests where we live and walking strand lines of the ocean together. Seeing my husband so excited to take out tumbled agates after they have been rock polished. Looking at pictures of our beloved dog, Lola that we lost and will never forget. Taking my brothers ashes to the ocean and having them blow back at me into my hair. Love you, Scotty. You will always be with me. haha. Always reading loving letters from my little family. The sincere happiness my husband shared with me in videos, photos and enthusiasm over the phone with his many beloved fishing trips in Yellowstone this summer or his joy at a new pop-up camp tent to make his weekend campouts alone bearable. Finding and seeing JOY in those you care about—priceless gem. My sweet husband giving me one of my beloved childhood stories (The Velveteen Rabbit) and then being able to read it to my daughter this holiday season while she was sick. Lying by myself on the wet, golf tee box and looking straight up into the sky with a prayer and seeing a bird so high up in the sky. It was a beautiful moment to feel like what it would be like looking down from heaven (a very big—I see you moment) . Walking the beach with my Jonny when he is home is a priceless gift and treasure—I appreciate it even more now. Just time together is more appreciated, whether its simply driving to get gas or walking a thrift/antique store together. Seeing the colorful northern lights from the coast with my little family and taking fun photos. Having sunrise and sunset moments with my daughter over the past few months I will always cherish. Seeing my daughter’s excitement and hearing her happiness as she experienced so many different places in the world this year—Her independent adventures & day trips that brought her such happiness—sea shells & big outdoor showers in Fiji…the smallest dolphins, blue penguins, fur seals and Mtn hikes in New Zealand, so many moments & places in France with someone she loves…so many memories of her pure Joy! So memorable. Watching baking shows together and having our family Survivor binge watches are always great treasured time together. Having my daughter break down in tears after I surprised her with a decorated Christmas tree in her room (knowing she had no time to decorate) Watching my sweet daughter mature and grow in her relationships with friends, family and falling in love. Its amazing to see such growth from those you care so deeply about. My sweet dog, Teag that makes me feel so loved and cared about (he has been a huge help when I am all alone) & the little moments when we literally stretch together each morning. Having sincere conversations with my brother and feeling like I am a safe place for him & he for me. Feeling loved and appreciated by valued friends & neighbors. Giving our neighborhood a small lantern fest on Christmas Eve & having people grateful for the light. Convertible rides along the coast with favorite music. Inspired podcasts full of inspiration and life lessons. Books to share wisdom. Music that can transport you to special decades of your life…even a dance, a kiss, a lifetime moment. We were just reminiscing with our daughter about when she was a newborn and how we would stay up watching MTV and listen to the song “Running” by No Doubt & how that song can take us back to that sweet moment in time. It is amazing the power music has….really all of our senses–they take us back to so many places. Which brings me to Photo moments that can touch you with a treasured moment from yesterday to 20 years ago. It is amazing how talking, sharing, seeing, feeling little moments can take you right back to those special, treasured spaces of your life.

EVERY DAY Every day is full of little treasured moments. Write them down or snap a shot so that you hold onto them even longer. It is the moments that are the real treasures in our lives. We live and seek and find them every single day. The moments are what make our lives really rich…..with the things that matter the very most. Those are the real gems. Hold on to those with all your heart. xoxo

Asked my family for their “reaction”Treasures”: They talked about one or two memory highlights from the past year & one tangible thing you could actually put into a treasure chest. Jon–Memory from this past year—walking the streets of our neighborhood, pretty brown trout that I caught that he can still replay back in his mind. Tangible thing—pontoon boat that allowed him to float some amazing rivers. Kate—tangible jewelry that represents various moments and very meaningful memories…photos…moments, intentional photo moments or selfie moments…brings the memories of places, people and important moments to her and her life.

There are sooo many moments for everyone. Take the time to even write down or reminisce over some of the many memories made over the last year. That in itself is a gift—to hear what is meaningful and memorable to one another is a priceless treasure. Take the time together.

HAPPIEST NEW YEAR. May you find everything you hope for…long for…need…wish for…desire…seek…may you find it. xoxo

A 1 year goodbye

Published on June 3, 2024 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

“The loss of a brother or sister is not small, unimportant, or invisible. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I call sibling loss ‘the loss of a lifetime,’ because who else do we expect to have relationships with that stretch our entire lives?” -Lynn Shattuck

It has been a year today since I got a call from my parents & they told me my brother had died. I was with my sweet husband driving down Hwy 101 in Oregon & I could sincerely not believe the conversation or loss that would forever change my life. I cried and cried. I was not sure where to go or what to do. I was alone with my husband in another state away from any family. I wanted to get as close to heaven as I could to make sure my brother knew I was thinking about him. We drove to the Yaquina Head Lighthouse and climbed a small mountain that looked out over the ocean. I had never experienced such wind, but we pushed ourselves to the top & as I looked out over the vast ocean view all I could do is cry, throw my hands up like a bird & face the wind. I stood there talking to my brother like a prayer. “Scotty, you had always wanted to visit Oregon. You have always loved the rain. I know you are looking down on me right now. This is for you…enjoy this view.” It was such a beautiful way to think of him. To feel so close to the sky & have a huge, vast ocean view below. It was humbling and memorable and forever.

It is definitely a ‘loss of a lifetime’ because you think of all the things you miss together, the conversations you could have had, to see his face or hear him talk about his first grandchild that was born this year and to know how excited he was to know and love him. It is a bunch of emotions and feelings of want, need, wonder, wishes…but in the end I have no control or idea where or how my brother is. All I can do is blow kisses to the wind, talk to him when I am alone or wonder what he is doing. I can look at old pictures or ponder memories, but its like a faded story that seems to lose a little more of the details, the almost hazy blur that sneaks in when you try to think of a specific smell or detail. Its like you slowly forget about someone you loved so much. It is heartbreaking. No matter how hard you try to hold on. Life continues without someone who was always supposed to be a witness to my life, a sibling, a friend, family that knows and loves you no matter what…why? because you have a history together and your bond is unbreakable. It is hard to lose someone like that!

I love you, brother. Wherever you are I hope you FEEL nothing but LOVE. You deserve that peace. xoxo

Yay the Day!

Published on May 8, 2024 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Every DAY is a gift. Within each day is the sum of your LIFE, so it is imperative to take the time to enJOY what is in the daily treasures. Say YAY with each new day! Wake to the brilliance of a new day. Embrace the existence that is you. Follow your heart to the dreams that need you to bring them to life. Find glory and goodness among the paths you take. Seek to unravel the depths of your stories, your tangled lies that you tell yourself, and begin to see the beauty that only you are. In the day, take the walks that break you out of the mundane, listen to the whispers of insight, seek the well of hope within that helps you rise to be better, listen to the songs you sing to find the light, and take the time to find a quiet place. That is where the hidden gems are found.

Your duty to find something BEAUTIFUL within your days…your life. ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and this is very true. Some people can find beauty in their reflection, or a kitchen design, another can see a texture in a fabric and be taken by its beauty, someone else will find beauty in a natural light that dances off a lake or a lovely melody that plays on a movie soundtrack. Maybe your beauty is the smile of your child, the time spent on a walk with a friend or the giddy laughter of the one you love. There is so much beauty to behold and be charmed by. Life is full of the BEAUTIFUL if you but seek to find it. It is your duty to help you appreciate the beautiful life you are blessed to live.

Your day is in the daily LEARNING & GROWTH This can be a scary place to be. Most people just want the normal routine, the less complications the better outlook. BUT, your greatest moments will come from stepping out of the norm and jumping into life! I always tell my daughter, “If you are not growing, you are dying—in one way or another.” It only makes sense. If flowers are not growing, blooming, sharing the blossoms–they are wilting and dying. It is the way of life. We must move forward, challenge ourselves to learn new ways of doing things, grow higher as individuals to be able to become the best versions of ourselves. There is a great saying, “Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” – H. Jackson Brown I love that! AND truthfully hate it 😉 because it makes you genuinely stop and acknowledge what difference did you really make today? We are NOT these people, but we have the opportunity to learn and grow and become a little closer to making our own, unique difference in the world—like those people. We all have our own learning and growing to do—live it!!

Your day should be the start of PUSHing YOURSELF beyond the muted norm. My daughter just started an art therapy journaling group at school. I have been worried about her being so hard on herself & wanted her to tap into a good outlet that can help teach and lead her to a higher place of expressing emotions and understanding herself better. After the group I asked her how it went. She was very anxious about attending. She is a person of serious routine, so she was not excited (to say the least). I was happy she went, honestly. Her reply, “It was actually nice. It was learning how to breathe & sigh & just collaging. There were a few others who were there and everyone was really nice. It was nice.” I was so relieved. Push yourself to try to go beyond your usual routines. Shake up the norm and challenge yourself in some way. Yay!

Your day is in the DETAILS of the happenings of your life. Take the time to Write highlights, life lessons, details from each day. Finish your a day w a few lines before bed…to read, see and understand the journey of your life. Get grateful by writing down at least five things from the day that you were grateful for. Begin a compliment notebook & get into the habit of writing down some of the nice compliments, actions or reactions you received from people in your life, strangers, smiles, etc. I was stopped at a street light in my car & my window was rolled down. The woman parked next to me at the light yelled, “hey, I like your hat.” I looked over & noticed she was talking to me. I smiled & told her, “Thank you, you just made my day”. She then proceeded to show me a hat she had in her van, “This is my favorite hat. It got me through a hard time of hair loss & it is a great hat.” I smiled, “that is wonderful. That is a cute hat.” She instantly put it on & I yelled back, “That hat looks so cute on you.” Just then the light changed. We smiled at each other and proceeded through the light. It was a sweet interaction with a complete stranger. I really smiled when I noticed a sticker on her car, “I hope something good happens to you today.” It was such a great sticker & I honestly felt soo lifted after the sweet connection. It was a definite highlight from my day. When you begin to notice the little details—they stick with you, especially if you take notice and write them down.

CREATIVITY is the heart to a higher place. I do believe that. There is a creator in every one of us and the way to bring out your divine riches is to seek ways to create. Whether you pen a poem, write lyrics, play music, paint, photograph, write your history, share an idea, create a play, design a tattoo, make a video…there are things within you that are waiting to be fulfilled. Even just doodling seems to bring ideas to life. There is a pathway from creativity that opens doors to other parts of yourself. Seek to bring those ideas to the surface and enJOY the process. Go out and make a mural or take a selfie with a street mural and share it, make a yummy dish to share with friends, write your favorite quote in your personal style and text something inspired to those you care about. Whatever makes your heart smile in creativity—share it! Seek to do SOMETHING—big or small–CREATE daily.

I LOVE Murals & the creativity, the color, the way inspiration is shared. Here was an article on Nice News about mural art

Mural Magic: 9 Artists Making Communities Stronger and Brighter, One Wall at a Time

Fulfilling the potential we have within

Do ONE thing daily that makes you FEEL YAY!! I did that. Yay! I accomplished that one big thing. YAY! I am one step closer to my dream. YAY! I can. YAY! I inspired someone with my words. YAY! Today was a good day.

Take time to do things you LOVE to do. Every person is different, so loving laundry may not be your thing. Loving gardening may be someone else’s sweet spot. Maybe you love to exercise and the feel goods you get. Maybe sports is your love & you make plans to watch your favorite teams. Maybe you just love spending time with your family. Maybe you love connecting with those you care about by phone each day. The things you LOVE are different for everyone. There is a whole big world full of so many colorful details, things to try, foods to experience, games to play, people to enjoy…LOVE is ongoing. Maybe you Love singing, learning, reading a good book, researching your next purchase for your beloved antique jewelry or nike shoe collection…everyone is different, but taking a little time each day to do something you LOVE…makes it a YAY DAY!

Take time to share the LOVE. Being of service, sharing your talents, doing kind deeds, sending love via snail mail, sharing a smile with a stranger…it all adds to a YAY DAY! I just went through my phone and copied a sticker that said, “I hope something good happens to you today” and texted it to a bunch of people in my contacts. People I have not seen or talked to in awhile—maybe even a year. People need to feel cared about and connected. Even just connecting through simple, small ways like a text lets them know you care and are thinking about them. Share some love in some small way. Help someone else have a YAY DAY!

Those are just a few ideas to help create a positive space for you to YAY your DAY! We all need to seek out the good, to get excited about the little things, to connect, to find the wins and the wonderfuls in our every day….they will all lead the way to YAYS every day.

Peace. Love and Light to you. xoxo. -H

Turning Points

Published on August 27, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

crossroad-path-in-lavender-meadow1 “At every turning point of my life, I can see your smiling face and my teary eyes.” -SB

Googled “Life Turning Points” and this is what came up: A Turning Point is a critical time in your life where big decisions could lead to big change, both in work and in life.

OR another point of view The idea of turning points in our lives is a powerful one. It’s the idea that at a certain point, a big event happens that changes your life irrevocably. -huffingtonpost

Some turning points are conscious, others less so…But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another. And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way. -Psychology today

My husband and his six sisters have been facing a rather big turning point for the past week. There Dad that is 71 has been diagnosed with an extremely rare disease (one in one and a half million people) that is eating his brain at a rapid rate and stealing his life from them. It came out of nowhere and has been a very heavy and tragic time that has humbly brought them together, but has also left them feeling many why’s. They are at a daily turning point of questioning God; wondering why their Dad has to suffer more and more each day; watching people come and go with sorrowful goodbye’s, yet the family still trying to get through the shallow breaths of death each night. He is on the brink of death and at one point just asked them to let him die. It has been dementia on steroids, leaving them all with an empty shell of a man at points, hallucinating the next and then completely lucid. My husband has walked in on him a few times & his body is in motion as if stringing a fishing rod & even biting the line off with his teeth. It is a horrible disease that quickly takes over and it has been a rollercoaster of emotion for everyone.

Each day has been different for each one of the family member’s who stay up all night watching…waiting…wondering when he will take his last breath. They all wonder where he goes when he seems to just be a shell. One day one of his daughter’s who had not slept and was running on a very emotionally empty tank had a psychotic episode and the hospital almost admitted her to the psyche ward for her erratic behavior. She was at a turning/tipping point of her overall experience. She had to step back and have family members force her to sleep, to bring her back to reality, so she could be present as her Dad passes.

The family has been each dealing with their own turning points in different ways. My husband is almost like the father to all of his six sisters. He always has been. He is in the middle of three older and three younger sisters. He is the only boy and they have always relied on him over their own Dad, so nothing is new to him. This is just a different level of a turning point—he is holding their hands each day as they express their feelings, their fears, their needs. His emotional tank is running low, but each day is a turning point of how he will handle each situation with care. He is learning more about himself, more about selfless love, more about unconditional love and servant leadership. I called him and expressed my deep love and appreciation for the man he is & admire how hard he is trying to serve everyone involved. He is better than me. I could not do what he is doing each day.

Turning points have different viewpoints. [Think of yourself standing at a crossroad of two paths–two different viewpoints or life turning points] I may step back from one emotional road & admire how someone else is traveling it. I try to take it in and see it from someone else’s perspective and hope that when I am in the midst of traveling a similar road, that I could handle it with some sort of grace, dignity and selfless action. I can only hope.

Everyone has their journey & each path will be different. BUT Some turning points are conscious, others less so…But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another. And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way. -Psychology today

May we each look at each step along our journey and find our best self. May we always seek to learn, grow and strive to be a better version of ourselves along the way.

Peace to all today—Especially my sweet husband and his sisters. Bless you all through this journey. I know it has been a beautiful, but very hard and painful road. xoxoxo

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” -Max Lerner

Because I Can!

Published on March 4, 2016March 4, 2016 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

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Yesterday I had a dear friend drop by who was having a bad day and needless to say I think anyone would understand, her mom had just died a couple weeks ago. I gave her a big hug and my heart sank at the thought of losing someone so dear.

We began to talk about feelings and emotions and she expressed how she wished she could of..should of..and I could only imagine how she felt. I had not lost a mother.

I did have an aha moment after our conversation. I put myself in her place and tried to feel how it would be if I was unable to call or text or chat with my mom and dad. It put into perspective how short life is & how we often get stuck thinking we can tell someone we love them tomorrow, or have breakfast next week or stop by there house and visit another time. Our conversation made me feel the urgency to reach out now, not tomorrow. You never know when you will never be able to have those heart felt moments, those conversations you wish you would have taken the time to have, to record their voice so you will never forget it, to hug them & know you did all you could to love them while they were here.

After she left I did a couple of things–I jumped on my email and I wrote my parent a note and told them I wanted to share a few thoughts and feelings of what I would miss & what I love about them ‘because I can.’ It was an emotional write. I got teary eyed thinking of the little things I would miss most.

Then, I sent a text to my husband’s 6 sisters who have a beloved mother that I know needs to hear and feel of their love. I then sent my mother-in-law a note of love…because I can!

I know one day those near and dear will have moved on to another life & I don’t want to have regrets or should have, could have feelings. I am sure when some one passes you have those feelings no matter what, but this conversation made me stop for a moment, drop the to do lists and send some love from my heart.

So, ‘because you can’ send some love notes to those you love because you never know. Things can change in a moment.

Peace to you today. -H

Show THANKS in GIVING

Published on November 24, 2014 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

The beautiful week that is often over shadowed by Black Friday and Cyber Monday ads is upon us and my gift I hope to bestow upon you is this…to do one simple thing to show your thanks. How? Here you go…

For your FAMILY: A simple gesture of LOVE. Write a note, a line, a blurb of something you LOVE about them. This morning I have been creating two flip books for two of my siblings. I have two siblings that were born between this giving holiday, so we decided to create a bday book to celebrate them. It was humbling to see my parents notes and my other five siblings write memories, send pictures, send funny thoughts, feelings, etc. about two great people. I think you always appreciate family, but you definitely take them for granted. It was beautiful to read the memories and see these people through other lenses. What a gift. I don’t think we can open our hearts enough, even though sometimes it is harder than you think. So go beyond yourself this week, share a thought, a love note, a fun pic, something that connects you to those closest in your giving circle.

For your CHILDREN: Help them get in the habit of finding things to be grateful for. Each night we either write in a journal or share them out loud, at least three things we are grateful for from the day. Children are never too young to learn gratitude.

Toddlers are by definition completely egocentric. Still, children as young as 15 to 18 months can begin to grasp concepts that lead to gratitude, says Lewis. “They start to understand that they are dependent; that Mom and Dad do things for them,” she says. In other words, toddlers comprehend that they are separate human beings from their parents, and that Mom and Dad often perform actions to make them happy (from playing peekaboo to handing out cookies) — even if kids that age can’t articulate their appreciation. By age 2 or 3, children can talk about being thankful for specific objects, pets, and people, says Ryan. By age 4, children can understand being thankful not only for material things like toys but for acts of kindness, love, and caring.

How to Teach it? Work gratitude into your daily conversation. Lately, we’ve been trying to weave appreciation for mundane things into our everyday talk — When you reinforce an idea frequently, it’s more likely to stick. One way to turn up the gratitude in your house is to pick a “thanking” part of the day. Two old-fashioned, tried-and-true ideas: Make saying what good things happened today part of the dinnertime conversation or make bedtime prayers part of your nightly routine.

By learning gratitude, they become sensitive to the feelings of others, developing empathy and other life skills along the way, says Barbara Lewis, author of What Do You Stand For? For Kids ”On the flip side, kids who aren’t taught to be grateful end up feeling entitled and perpetually disappointed,” says Lewis. -Parents.com article

Jeffrey Froh, PsyD research shows there are plenty of good reasons to try to teach gratitude He recently asked one group of middle school students to list up to five things they were grateful for every day for two weeks, while a second group recorded daily hassles and a third only completed a survey. “The gratitude group experienced a jump in optimism and overall well-being,” reports Froh. “Furthermore, they were more satisfied with school even three weeks later.” Likewise, a Harris Interactive survey of more than 1,200 kids between the ages of 8 and 18 found that those who were grateful for what they had were also more generous, even if they were fairly materialistic. -Familycircle article

Be a Role Model of Gratitude: As parents we need to understand that we can’t expect our children to be grateful, if we are not examples of this ourselves. Find gratitude in the little things and you will also find it in the bigger things.

Say Thank you: Just the simple act of helping your children learn to say thank you will make a big difference in the energy they carry and the people they touch with their smile.

Explain to children why gratitude is important: The strategy: Explain why it’s important to be grateful when someone helps you out. “Kids sometimes have the belief that people ‘should’ do things for them,” says Froh, “so it’s helpful to point out that people’s kind deeds are often done out of the goodness of their hearts.” -Familycircle

Gratitude tree: I have seen this done with a simple tree made to hang on the fridge & paper leaves were then attached, an entire wall created into a tree in your home, something to add to the dinner table, etc. You could buy silk leaves, use paper tags, stickers…the ideas are endless. Just google, “gratitude tree” and look at the many images and ideas you could create. Have fun with this. When family comes to visit, have them write something for the tree. Have your children create a special leaf each day

Write Thank you notes: The strategy: Write appreciative letters to the important people in our lives. “Acknowledging your feelings on paper makes them more conscious and concrete,” says Robert Emmons, PhD, author of Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier (Houghton Mifflin) -Familycircle

Find a goodwill project: Whether it is volunteering at a local charity, collecting old toys for a toy drive, sending post cards to soldiers or making blankets for someone in need–find something that your whole family can get excited about.

Here is another idea I found: “We put our change in a ‘Pennies from Heaven’ jar,” says Barbara Owens, mother of four, ages 10, 12, 16, and 20, in Manalapan, New Jersey. “Every time something devastating happens in the world, we sit down and talk about how blessed we are, then send a contribution.”

Hope this helps you find one simple thing you can ‘GIVE’ to those you LOVE.

-Peace & blessings to you this holiday. -H

STOP for just a moment & look around you.

Published on November 25, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

In all the rushing to make a beautiful thanksgiving—finding the best way to roast, brine, deep fry…the perfect turkey, whipping up dishes and dishes of yummy goodness, I beg of you to stop for a moment & look around you. Look at the people in your life, the stories you tell, the history you have together & take a moment to hold hands & have grateful hearts. We have so much to be thankful for—even if you just have a warm roof over your head, freedom to pray, an abundance of food that makes you full, the laughter of your children enjoying their cousins, clean water to drink, pies of every kind, and most of all, the children in your life, the love held within your family, the connections—one of the many reasons to give thanks.

Happy week of THANKS.

Ways to get a Little more GRATITUDE, with a little less GIMME

Published on October 28, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Next week is the beginning of the beautiful holiday seasons, a time when families gather, friends enjoy one another and there is a special feeling in the air. The holidays are always a very special, magical time in our home and I am always looking for ways to bring in a little more peace, a little more giving, a little more gratitude to avoid the “gimme” attitude.

I wanted to share some thoughts and ideas to get you thinking of some things you can do to bring your family a little closer this holiday season.

To find a little more Gratitude and Thanks this Thanksgiving:

Legacy Letters: Have each member of your family write a nice letter to one another & gift it to them for Thanksgiving or keep it until Christmas. My parents usually have each child create a scrapbook page of history from the year full of images and highlights from a few of their favorite memories throughout the year as a gift to them.

Family time capsule: My sister-in-law just did a time capsule for her one-year-old, so this idea could be used on a variety of occasions. You could have everyone bring something that was impressionable from the past year–news this year, a picture of their family, a piece of jewelry that holds charms symbolic of each member, favorite stuffed animal or toy, letters, a magazine, something that would tie this year together & mean something to each individual. You could do this as individual families or with extended family. Make sure to include a list of questions like “What was your favorite thing that happened this year?” “What wishes do you have for next year” “What is a meaningful memory you have from this past year”…

Fun Random Acts of Kindness Kit: this looks like a lot of fun. I found it on uncommon goods.com but you can buy it on amazon or other retailers.

GIve said the little stream: I don’t know why I always think of this childhood song when I think about giving. Just last year I came across the actual book that shares this beautiful song.

I was then looking for a inspiring video of this song and came across a beautifully done version in Korea. I wanted to add it here because it was done during a time of turmoil and war–to me it has a loving, peaceful message. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMNSChEydSo Help us pray for peace always. Help us give peace and love freely.

GIVE: GIve to feel peaceful. Give to get healthy. Give to spread love. Give because it helps you feel GOoD (helps you feel GOD). Here are some ideas to get your giving: Donate clothes. This is a great time to go through the closets and get rid of summer clothing, old shoes and coats that don’t fit any longer. Give warmth! Help someone. Do you have elderly neighbors that need leaves raked or may need a warm blanket with a side of hot cocoa mix. Make a snuggle care package for someone in need. Put together a pair of warm socks, gloves, water bottle, granola bar & a message of hope. You could also buy a few sleepingbags and donate them to a local organization or someone on the street. Help out a single mom. My sister is in the middle of a divorce & she is always in need of a break. Reach out to someone near you that is a single parent and offer them a break. Bake something for your local awesomeness. We love firefighters and police men who take care of our neighborhoods, so we enjoy baking up something and taking it into the dept. for everyone to enjoy. Make someone smile. You could just smile–that is always a good thing. But you could also have your kids draw a smiley face on a piece of paper and leave them on random cars. Create a crunch pack for college kids. My two nieces just moved to the area and are starving students, so they loved and appreciated the small snack pack I gave them. Find out from the dorm office or school if there are some kids in need & leave them a bag of snacks to help them get by. Get Artistic. Have your kids create works of art to donate to the elderly homes. Think of how much they will love the decorative trees and christmas scenes your kids will create.

Here is a good link to some additional ideas that are GREAT to get your family serving for specific organizations. Great info. http://www.newdream.org/blog/fun-holiday-service-projects-for-you-and-your-family

Gratitude rolls: I do love this idea. I am doing it this year!! We can never be too thankful for food and sweet wishes of thanks. Here are a few links for different directions and recipes: Enjoy Dinner Rolls http://www.howdoesshe.com/delicious-dinner-rolls/ Sweet Potato Rolls http://www.lifewiththecrustcutoff.com/sweet-potato-gratitude-rolls/

Food: Food is always something that brings family together, so pull out some yummy recipes and get your family cooking together. Find recipes online and begin to dabble with your own culinary artist within!! Try new things and make it an occasion. It can be a Monday night “Mom & kids stir up something good night” or a Tuesday “Try something new night”…it doesnt have to be JUST Thanksgiving. Make any meal an occasion just being together. I have been working harder on this area—because I am NOT a cook, but I am trying to make it a cooking adventure!! and I have been including my little girl in on the fun. Whether it is one night a week or seven–make it special!! It has been proven that sitting down for a family meal helps families, and especially helps our children. Here are ten benefits from webmd of having family dinners: Everyone eats healthier meals, Kids are less likely to become overweight, Kids are more likely to stay away from cigarettes, drink alcohol, use drugs or try marijuana, School grades will be better, You & your kids will talk more, You will be more likely to hear about any serious problems, Kids will feel like you are proud of them and there will be less stress and tension at home. *picture is Banana Bread pudding—just sounds yummy!! here is the linkhttp://3boysandadog.com/2012/11/banana-bread-pudding-thanksgiving-recipe/

Well, that is all for today. I will keep posting some more ideas to help us with gratitude and not gimme attitudes.

Happiness to you today. -Heather

Creating the comforts of Home

Published on October 17, 2013October 18, 2013 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

With fall in the air there seems to be this need to bundle up, to light candles, to create a place of warmth and comfort. This week I literally stacked up on candles and bought a cozy blanket…why?? the comforts of home. That wonderful place that calls you to stay, that space that brings family together, a place that nurtures our necessities.

So what do we truly need from our home?? Ask yourself, ‘What do I want from my home?’

Did you think…quiet, calm, order, warmth, love, family, fresh bread baking in the oven, the smell of lavender, soft sheets, warm blankets, a clean dog, vacuumed rugs, steam cleaned floors, a space for my children’s art, pictures of my family, everything dusted, pretty music playing, candles flickering, a vase of fresh flowers, color, patterns, textures that make me want to melt, time to read with my children, bubble baths, plants, family dinner around a set table, art that inspires, space to be quiet, a place to create, a space to do yoga, a room with a fluffy rug, a room with a view I enjoy, bowls that all match in my cupboards, silverware that I enjoy eating with, a pillow that puts me to sleep, clean windows, organized drawers…the ideas are endless. What do you want from your home? a sanctuary, a safe place, a place that inspires, a place that creates memories?

You may want to write down every idea that came to you, so you will have something to move toward. Even if you took one little idea at a time & began to create what you want within the walls of your home. It is your direction, your families safe space, the walls that will nurture your tiny children, the place that will surround your family with love and kindness…but you have to first decide what you and your family need and desire & then you will be successful at creating the comforts you desire within your home. Talk to your family & ask them what they love about being home—do they feel comfortable & what is it that they as individuals love and appreciate. Do they sleep well in their room? if not, what do they need—a better bed, a soft light, a little music, lavender sprayed on their pillow, etc. Do they find comfort in milk and cookies after school? Do they enjoy having dinner by candlelight? Do the colors of the walls or the furniture seem warm? Do you have mostly hard surfaces & need to add some comfy rugs to warm up a space? Do you have enough family time & where do you spend that quality time–is it at the kitchen table or in the family room. Is there enough room for everyone? Is your family even home enough or are your schedules to cluttered with lessons & carpool that you aren’t even home. Maybe you need to evaluate your schedule to make time to be home as a family. HAPPINESS truly is HOMEMADE.

The other day I was having a bit of a battle with my daughter & I gave her the responsibility of cleaning the kitchen & getting ready for dinner. She was not happy, so much so that I literally had to remove myself from our home & go on a drive. When I came back she had gone over and beyond—she set the dinner table, lit candles, had place mats, had cleaned the kitchen & had a change of attitude. I happily cheered her on in her change & expressed my gratitude for all she had done and then I simply asked her, “why were you struggling, what can I do to help?” You know what she said, “I want to help out with dinner every night.” I smiled & said, “done.”

Even children can give you ideas and bring their own piece to creating the comforts needed within your home. Just ask them what they would like to do to make your home a little better. I bet you would be surprised at what they come up with. Include the whole family in creating a comfortable home, everyone lives within the four walls, so everyone should have an opportunity to do their part. Home truly is where the heart is.

Think about it…What do I want from my home?

Here are some fun images to inspire you…