What example are you to your kids?

Parenting-quote-unconditional-love

The last few weeks have been an emotional, roller coaster ride with my sweet daughter who entered middle school this year. Every Monday she would wake up in tears, with a face terrified of what lie ahead of her day. After the 4th week of tears, I decided to give her the day, to listen to her, to try and understand where she was and what she needed as a little person. The day consisted of touring another nearby, smaller school,  talking to one of my sisters who through her middle school years begged our mom to home school her, looking online for schooling from home options, and just taking the time to listen and try to understand her feelings.

My daughter has suffered with different anxieties her entire childhood, which led to different ticks, nail biting, lip chewing, text anxiety, social anxiety…I have been a mother trying to find ways to help her cope all through her schooling.   I think I just could not bare to see her suffer any longer and I wanted to try and understand, to respect the needs of this little person.

The conclusion: I pulled her out of her school within three days and signed her up for an online academy that we are testing out until December. Then, in January she has to attend 2 classes in the public school for social interaction while still working her online academy. I would not suggest this to everyone, but I knew my daughter might be a great fit for a program that she could work at her own pace, communicate on a daily basis with her teachers and just feel personal responsibility for herself. So far, it has been a great experience.

My personal pain: My husband has struggled since day one and is having a hard time understanding or seeing the logic in the situation. It has been numerous, intense conversations. My family also has had their opinions and feelings. It has been a tough few weeks.

My faith: As her mother I decided to try and give this little person a voice, to respect her feelings, to try and understand where she is at during this difficult age. I see a little girl that is torn between feeling younger and being thrown into a world where little girls are wearing make-up, flirting with boys, not caring about school or respecting their teachers and she is scared.

Now, I have heard it from everyone!!—we all had to go through this tough age, to be scared, to go any way. But, my heart wanted to listen and respect where this little person was and stand up for her. I did not want to let the world bully away her feelings. I did not want to toss aside respecting another soul and just tell her to tough it out.

We are parents!! If we do not listen and try to see and understand where our children are coming from. Who will they turn to in times of need? If we do not respect their feelings of need and nurture, who will?

Now, I know some of you out there will not agree with me, but you are not my daughter’s mother. You each have your own children to raise. Each child is different, each child has their own strengths, weaknesses, potential…I know my daughters strengths—she is self-motivated, driven, school focused and works so hard. She was feeling lost in a sea of faces, no connection to her teachers, feeling overwhelmed by the kids around her who did not care about school or who used her because “she was smart & could do the work.”

We need to do all we can to protect these little people and lift them up & believe in them & what they are capable of. They need to feel that we listen, that we care, that we are trying to guide them to our best ability. That is what I am trying to do.

I am trying to be an example to her to listen to her inner guidance, to follow her feelings, to step out of the norm if you need to so that you can find yourself a little more clearly. If we cannot respect and be an example to our kids, who will?

tara-whitney-quote1(pp_w540_h321)Here is a great quote to exemplify my thoughts…

Every child is a soul with a different growth rate and with a potential that is varied and vast. Respecting the needs of our little ones from a very early age, listening to their unique voices, hearing their wants will assure them that no matter how tiny they are somebody will kneel down to listen. Respecting the potential that his hidden within each child.

Practicing conscious parenting you allow your children to develop without forcing down their throats the magic of competition, expectations, exam fevers. Do not push, press or force them into unnecessary ‘speedy’ growth, unnecessary sufferings and pressures. Let the children’s emotional body develop at its own pace, let their physical body stay strong and fear-less, let their mental growth be inspired and full of wonder.  -Nuit

20130420-iyanla-ep117-quotes-8-600x411 Good-parenting-quotes

I hope you look at your children a little more closely today & try to see one need they may have. Follow your heart and give them an extra hug, take them on a mommy/missy date, sit down and just talk, go on a walk together, tell jokes, learn something new together, just listen, just look at them closely and ask them—what do you need?? what can I do for you?

Have a beautiful day. Peace to you.  -H

FOCUS

soft focus water lily macro

I just came across the video below that was done by filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg. It is beautiful and I highly suggest you watch it and share it.

I thought it had a great message—What is your FOCUS. What are you seeing within the framework of your life. There is always so much going on around us, but it is the details that make up our life, our visions, our dreams, our reality. So begin to truly see where your focus is. Focus on the beautiful, the lovely, the purest forms of joy, the things that bring you peace, the smallest details that make up your life. AND if you need to refocus—step back and reframe the pictures and images of your life, the directions, the daily details that need to be changed to move you towards the ultimate beauty of your life. It is waiting. It is all around you. You just have to look deeper and have a clearer focus.

http://www.oprah.com/video_embed.html?article_id=59460

I Love You

stock-footage-pretty-girl-erases-lipstick-on-mirror-i-love-you-a-beautiful-woman-wipes-off-the-words-i-love-youI was just watching a video clip of Christiane Northrup talk about a personal morning ritual that she does. She mentioned it is Louise Hay’s work. She said she stands in front of a mirror and looks deeply into her eyes and says, “I Love you.”

This took me back to a women’s retreat I did years ago where I had groups of women sit down together and do this same activity. It was remarkable to see a group of strangers instantly have a connection through the emotions of such a task. Women were balling as they looked at themselves in the mirror and then there were questions, stories, people who related to others feelings. The circle connected and lifted and loved one another.

I think this is a great thing to begin to do. If you have never looked at yourself in the mirror. smile. smile. Of course you have, but have you ever really looked? Have you looked deeply into your own eyes and reached a deeper point in to your soul and told yourself, “I Love you.”  If the mind monkeys creep in and begin to see your flaws, your lines, your gray hair, your age…push them aside and tell yourself again, “I Love you.”

Christiane said to try it for at least 30 days and see what happens. I know I am going to. It was a good reminder.

I LOVE YOU. Three little words with a big impact on your heart and soul. Spread the LOVE. Begin with YOU.

The Choices you make…

spp-dandelion-wishes1I was just reading an article from Oprah that came in my inbox and it contained some good questions. Mind you, they were not mind-blowing questions, just questions we often forget to consistently ask ourselves, so here you go…

Close your eyes and imagine that Aladdin’s genie is standing right in front of you, right now. There’s no one else around; it’s just you and the genie. Here’s what he tells you: “I’m going to give you one wish. You can wish for anything you want, with only two limitations: You can’t wish for more wishes, and you can’t receive a wish that will take away someone else’s free will. But wish for basically anything else, and you will get it. If you wish for 10 million dollars—done! An ‘incurable’ health issue healed—you got it! A big achievement goal accomplished—victory! You get the idea. No one will ever know how you got it; they will think it just happened naturally through the course of life’s circumstances. Also, you can never have another wish fulfilled in your lifetime, and if you don’t tell me your wish in 10 seconds, you lose it.”

Okay, this is it; the moment of truth. Treat this as if it were really happening to you right now. No filtering; you’ve got 10 seconds. Close your eyes—go.

What did you tell the genie your wish was? Write it down.
This morning I have been struggling with how to help my family be HAPPY. I often feel as if I am on a roller coaster of emotions between the two people I love most, so my wish was automatically—to know and understand how to help my family find happiness.  The funny thing is, as I am writing this, I am telling myself—you can’t make another person happy. They have to find it for themselves. I know this. It is obvious, but as a wife and mother, I seem to seek some sort of knowing. I pray to know their personal needs, I pray to know how to look for guidance, I pray to be guided on each one of them, I pray for understanding, I pray for patience, I also just cry.
What would you ask for at this moment? What wish would fulfill your dreams, your hopes, your happiness? I think different moments of our lives we would wish for different things…at some point we would wish for the HGTV dream house. At another point in our life, we would wish for our child to be healed from sickness. Another moment, we would wish to have our parents here on earth. A different day we would wish to live in Hawaii. I think our wishes would constantly be changing depending on our changing seasons of life, our moments in life, our depths of spiritual growth, our emotions of the day, our wishes for our families, our health, etc.
i-amI heard a great quote that was from Wayne Dyer’s book, Wishes Fulfilled that said, “Make your future dream a present fact by assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled.” -Neville Goddard  
Wayne Dyer spoke of constantly engaging your life with believing and assuming the feeling that I AM…healthy, strong, beautiful, blessed, in a divine relationship, happy, a marvelous gift to this world, a present mother, a loving wife… this seems like a beautiful way to ask, feel and be in alignment with a greater will for your life.  We may not have a genie’s magic lamp, but we have wisdom to use our feelings in a positive way and to help create a greater outcome of happiness, love, peace, harmony, joy, etc. within our life and within the world.
Peace and love to you today.  -H
For the other questions on the Oprah article go to this link: http://www.oprah.com/shiftyourlife/Discover-Your-Lifes-Purpose
H

Thank you Wayne

get-your-class-creating-beautiful-word-clouds-using-tagxedo-16-638I know there are many posts about Wayne Dyer dying, but I wanted to say Thank you. I know he is listening and seeing all the well wishes, the blessings, the tears, the memories, the blessed gifts of thanks and I need to be among the congregation that sings praise and appreciation. Thank you Wayne.

I had not heard of Wayne Dyer until I received a white elephant gift during a Christmas auction. It was suppose to be a joke, but to me I was willing to watch a Dvd called “Inspiration”  Why not?? I was a seeker and this sounded amazing. That Dvd got me hooked on anything Wayne Dyer. I have LOVED everything he has done over the many years. I read his children’s books to my daughter as she has been growing, I was an avid “The Shift” dvd believer & shared it with many, I listened to his podcasts every single day and dreamed of going on a cruise with him.

He is light and who doesn’t want to learn all they can from someone like Wayne. Not to mention he lived in Hawaii.

Dr-Waine-Dyer-Quotes

What a gift to this world: Wayne’s life is full of goodness and gifts that he has shared with the world. He was known as the ‘Father of Motivation”, He did numerous PBS specials. He did a movie that he was so proud of he wished over 10 million people would see.  If you haven’t seen “The Shift”, which was later renamed, “From Ambition to Meaning,” I would suggest you see it. It is a great movie. He has also written 30+ books, including 5 children’s books.  His life has been a great gift.

I-am-realistic

Some fun facts you may not have known about Wayne: He is the father of 8. His favorite movies are Deja Vu by Henry Jaglom (said he had seen it about 50 times) and Brother Sun, Sister Moon, the story of St. Francis of Assisi (whom he truly admired). *taken from Gaiam interview    He has been on thousands of radio/talk shows, including The Tonight Show and Phil Donahue show, Oprah, Ellen (who was such a fan of his that she had him officiate her wedding).  He was born in Detroit.

594f34b24a988b80201a568cf34172b0

10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Wayne:

#1 Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.  Your attachments are the source of all your problems. The need to be right, to possess someone or something, to win at all costs, to be viewed by others as superior—these are all attachments. The open mind resists these attachments and consequently experiences inner peace and success.

#2 Don’t die with your music still in you. That music that you hear inside of you urging you to take risks and follow your dreams is your intuitive connection to the purpose in your heart since birth.

#3 You can’t give away what you don’t have. By changing your inner thoughts to the higher frequencies of love, harmony, kindness, peace and joy, you’ll attract more of the same, and you’ll have those higher energies to give away.

#4 Embrace silence. Silence reduces fatigue and allows you to experience your own creative juices.

#5 Give up your personal history.

#6 You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it. Your thoughts are the source of virtually everything in your life.

#7 There are no justified resentments. Anytime you are filled with resentment, you are turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate.

#8 Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be. From thoughts to feelings to actions, they will react affirmatively when you stay inspired and get out in front of yourself in ways that are consistent with what you want to become…Whether you think this is possible or impossible, either way you’ll be right.

#9 Treasure your divinity. You are “a piece of the divine intelligence that supports everything.”

#10 Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.

Great quotes by Wayne to live by:

Wayne-Dyer-Quotes-1wayne-dyer-quoteKeep-remindingb1bb94c2d993dd6a4ef99aca8f8d8a0319802-most-people-are-searching-for-happiness-outside-of-themselveswayne-dyer-quotes_14944-2

20130710-100725

To finish out this post I wanted to send out a loving song called Miracles by Coldplay. Enjoy

One last quote that he always shared. Peace to you on your Journey, Wayne.

SONY DSC
SONY DSC

Do you strive to live in Grace or Nature

7752965

Yesterday I was down & decided to put in a movie, The Tree of Life. It was a movie full of imagery, music, thought, story…visually it stirred my soul, but the other aspect of the story line was the way we live our lives. Held within the story walls was an emotional war between the mother (who strived to live in a place of grace) and a father who was driven by human nature.

It made me wonder how to hold onto those directions we strive to live in our life. How do you hold on to the need for grace, for light, for love and not be distracted by the fears, ego, society…

So, I am going to google, “How to hold on to grace in our life” and see what comes up. I will leave you my findings to then sprinkle them into your own life. Peace to you.

ego_search_for_wholeness.jpgSo, I came across a definition by Dallas Willard that says,

“Grace is God acting in our life.”

To me this is EVERYTHING…every detail, every gift we hold, every breath we take, every laughter, every moment. Through all things God is acting in our life. Everywhere you look, the breeze, the colors, the sounds, the scents, the smiles, the majestic mountains, the crashing seas, the hands that hold one another, the babies born, the muscles that walk, the eyes that see, the hopes, the dreams, the challenge, the changes, the soul of life, it is bigger than anything and everything.

cc_jer29_11plant

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”     We must have faith and a knowing that when challenges occur, there is a bigger plan surrounding us. We must look for the seed in which we can grow in this seemingly dark place.     This makes me think of a dear friend of ours who is in her forties, is in the beginning stages of a late pregnancy, and just had a full blown stroke. I also think of my sister-in-law who has triplets and today is taking one of them in to find out if she has cerebral palsy at the sweet age of two.    My heart weeps for them, my soul is stirred in aching pain, trying to understand the challenges they are facing. I can’t even imagine. BUT, it also makes me see how precious each day is, that life is too short, that we must strive to live, to love, to have faith in tomorrow.

d4ef154d9cebf1231d197f044b77d5ea

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

Look all around you. Have you not been given much? Do your eyes see? Do your legs hold you high? Do you hear a whisper from your child? Do you see the sunlight shine down on you? Do you have hope? Do you have love in your heart? Have hope that you have all you need at this very moment. Have a knowing that He will provide for your every need.

2a3b8d27fdd4846abfaf0ff9e725f2f8Psalms 46:1

Always have faith that God can be your refuge & will give you strength in your time of need.  I do find comfort in feeling that when I need Him, He is there. I feel that I am not alone in this world & that I am just a prayer away.  I have been reading a sweet book called, “Where angels walk” by Joan Wester Anderson. It is a book full of beautiful stories of angels who have come to the aid of children who were about to be harmed, protected women in scary situations, carried a young boy home who had been bit by a rattlesnake…heaven is closer than we know. Nothing separates us but ourselves. I believe if we call on heavenly forces to help us, they will do all they can to be there.

Rainbow

“Nothing can separate us from the Love of God.” -Romans 8

Isn’t that a beautiful idea. NOTHING can come between us, so we must have faith that we can call on Him, call on angels, know that whatever we are going through, whatever we have to face, we are so close to heaven.

I thought this was funny…God has no phone, but I talk to Him. He has no Facebook, but He is still my friend. He does not have Twitter, but I still follow Him.  Nothing can separate us from Him, except us. He longs to be near, He longs to hear your prayers. He is there and nothing can separate us from that love.

tumblr_lrme2wtSCF1r0opwzo1_500

Ask and ye shall receive

According to Lifecoach Cheryl Richardson, “I’ve learned now, in working in partnership [with God] and dancing with grace, that when I need direction, I will ask for it.” Cheryl says she uses this mantra: “Give me direction. Let me see the doors that are open, make sure that I see them and open those doors.Answers are around you all the time, but the question is, how present are you to them? “The more present you become to your life, the more you begin to see that there are signs all around you,” Cheryl says.

Take note when you begin to judge or shut down what someone’s saying to you and try to stay open-minded, Cheryl says. “What if everyone that comes into our life is a spiritual change agent in some way? The more open you can be, the more you allow your life to change and the more you see the influence of grace,” she says. “A closed mind is the barrier to living a grace-filled life.”When you see signs of grace in your life, you’re entering into “the dance,” Cheryl says. The dance of grace represents your psychological growth: You realize there are coincidences that occur in your life and recognize that it is part of this divine intelligence working in your life. “As you begin to see those signs, you realize, ‘Wow, I am co-creating [my life] with some kind of spiritual intelligence here.'”

Cheryl says it’s also important to listen, pay attention and take action. “When you get the messages, you need to act on them,” she says.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Finding-Grace-in-Your-Life#ixzz3k1s6yBAf


Well, that is all for today. I hope these scriptures and thoughts will give you something to think about. I think just looking for the many ways God is Acting in Your Life each day and finding gratitude in those things will open the doors to grace in your life, which will then mirror into the lives of those around you. Peace to you today.  -H

Don’t Worry Be Happy

OSOV_KidsFuture

In recognition of all the nervous kids starting school soon, I wanted to send a well wish of HAPPINESS.

Last night I got together with my brothers and sisters and their kids. We talked about things the kids were nervous about with school starting soon. Many kids jumped in, “I hate school” “Lockers” “Bullies” “Mean teachers” & then the adults shared a few stories from their youth. It was fun to hear from the many generations talk about what made them worry, how they made friends from strangers, nervousness about locker combinations, bullies, if they were going to have nice teachers, why they didn’t like school & why they did…it was fun!!

We then had each family take a helium filled balloon outside & had each member from their family write down any worries or concerns about starting school. Each family then watched as each balloon began to drift away…We were literally watching our worries float away. It was beautiful.

We then had then all watch and dance to the following song—it was a perfect fit!! Enjoy!!

And remember this—feelings are real, so take the time to talk to your kids, see how they are feeling, what they are worried about and do all you can to help take away their worries.  -Peace and Love to you today.

Learning about Love through Loss

IMG_2922

It all began last Thursday during a rain storm in Disneyland. My sweet friend who was taking care of our little dog, Buddy, called to let us know she was worried. My heart sank as every scenario went through my mind, maybe he is just missing us, maybe he has slept so much that his little legs are sore and he can barely walk, maybe…     I had so many emotions fill me: worry of what might happen, denial that he would leave me before I got home, sadness for my friend that she was even having to worry about the burden & situation she was in, frustration that I could not just blink myself home and be there for my little friend…  Within the hour my husband received another call, his face said everything. I was walking off the Pirates of the Caribbean ride when I knew my best friend had died. I began to sob outside. There were people everywhere, but my heart was broken. I looked over at my sweet daughter who never cries & has a hard time showing her emotions, but tears filled her eyes. I grabbed her and we just hugged.  We kept hugging as the rush of people passed by in usual Disney fashion.

My sweet friend continued conversing with my husband over the details of where to bury our little dog. My mind raced of what we could do, I just then realized her husband and oldest son had just left for Sturgis & my dear friend was six months pregnant. I felt immense sorrow that she was in this whole situation. That is where my lesson of love came from. To see my dear friend emotional at the whole situation handle everything with such genuine care was a true testament of unconditional love. She stepped right in and did all she could to not have us worry about anything while we were away. She did all she could to take away the sting of our loss. She was the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

Our trip continued on with my entire family, so we were not able to return home for a few days, but my anxiety began to set in as we got closer to home. I would have to face being home, seeing his bed, seeing the spot on the couch that was his, seeing his dog bowls empty, seeing the many places he would be, the doors he would scratch for my attention, the top of the stairs where we would do our yoga stretches together, his sun spots…but most of all I was worried about missing him as we walked through the door. I would miss his excitement that we were finally home, his loves, his kisses. As we pulled in I noticed his face wasn’t in the dog door, my heart began to sink with sadness. I walked through our garage door and before I could begin to cry, I began to see big, colorful hearts taped throughout our house. They were hand cut hearts that had words like JOY, LOVE, You are Loved, Happy…I smiled and felt the love of dear friends. Then I noticed a beautiful flower arrangement left on our table. My heart welled up with gratitude for such kindness. I looked down at Buddies little bed (the spot where he had peacefully died) and I wanted to go find the spot he was buried. We walked to the back of our yard and looked around. We couldn’t miss the spot because there was a handmade, beautifully stenciled name plate made out of a small cut of tree wood. On the top, the word BUDDY with little paw prints circling it. I couldn’t honestly believe the love that was so freely given to our family. I couldn’t believe how genuine kindness could be so lovingly shared. I instantly called my friend to give her my heartfelt thanks through the tears that wouldn’t stop from such a beautiful gift. My friend said, I knew you would miss your little dog when you got home, so we wanted to fill your home with love. It was so sweet and truly touching.

I truly learned such a beautiful lesson through our loss—LOVE is given freely, especially when you need it most.

Thank you Rasband family for lovingly giving so freely in a time of genuine need. You are all a beautiful example of what we all can give, be, do. Love you so. Thanks for being there for us.

Big LOVES to all, especially my sweet Buddy. Peace to you my Soul Buddy. Love you. -H

Oh, precious gifts.

e2616fa83f6c0af6b00c3865545006a4

Woman at beach with arms outstretched

Oh, how precious life is. Oh, how precious are the gifts we are given each day…health, comfort, freedom, family, joy, suffering…I awoke this morning to my sweet daughter crying in pain from an earache. My heart struggled seeing her in such pain. I took little soothing remedies and got her calmed down. I looked at her and prayed that she would sleep in comfort and feel better. I also looked at her and had a tinge of sadness for parents who watch their children struggle with harsher illness and feel like they are helpless. I instantly had a feeling of relief and gratitude that she does not suffer daily.

These are the moments where I find myself even more grateful to have those I love close to me. We often take those closest to us for granted, so here is an opportunity for all of us to gain a greater understanding of our feelings, of our gifts of the wonderful people around us. *Think about the following questions regarding any important person in your life: What would I be missing if that person were no longer in my life? In what specific way would I miss that person? And, What would I like to say to this person if I only had one more chance? 

Pensively, James A Farley adds other questions he asks of himself and others: “How much do most of us appreciate the countless little daily acts of…kindness by others that make our lives more comfortable? How grateful are we, really, for the privilege of living in a country where most of us can take freedom, justice and security for granted? How much thankfulness do most of us feel for the marvelous gift of life itself, and how adequately do we express this to the Giver?”     In hostly assessing his own answers, Farley faced the painful truth: He was not nearly as appreciative as he should, or would, like to be. So he committed to the following resolutions:

“To thank the people who make my world run smoothly…not just with a casual word or an impersonal tip, but with some expression of genuine interest in them as fellow human beings.”

“To make myself more aware of the miraculous privileges involved in simply being an American, and to show my thankfulness by working without thought or reward to make my country better.”

“To remind myself every day of the infinitely precious value of every minute of existence, and to show my gratitude to God not only with prayers of thanksgiving but by living as close as possible to the way He wants me to live.”

And Farley finishes: “A basic rule in showing appreciation, I have found, is this: do it now. Do it while your sense of gratitude is fresh and strong. If you feel a flash of thankfulness, act on it before the impulse dies away.”   [taken from The Heart of Goodness]

So, here and now I am giving thanks and gratitude for those closest to me, for their health, our happiness and the gift we find in one another. Love and peace to you. May you find the precious gifts within your life and give thanks. -H

Quotation-Raine-Miller-gifts-life-Meetville-Quotes-53686f34ebb428e3253d82beec16c542e53ff

Is Happiness a Game?

images-4

The word happiness is derived from the thirteenth-century Old Norse word hap, which means “a chance or luck occurrence.” Thus, our question—or perhaps, our QUEST—can be framed as “If happiness is a game of chance, then how might I increase my odds of winning?” -Dr Craig Rodgers

According to a Harris Poll in 2013 of 2, 345 U.S. adults, just ONE in THREE say they’re very happy.  According to another source, 70 percent of Americans hate their jobs.

According to Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology,  says 60 percent of happiness is determined by our genetics and environment, the remaining 40 percent is up to us. In his 2004 Ted Talk, Seligman describes three different kinds of happy lives: The pleasant life, in which you fill your life with as many pleasures as you can, the life of engagement, where you find a life in your work, parenting, love and leisure and the meaningful life, which “consists of knowing what your highest strengths are, and using them to belong to and in the service of something larger than you are.” [huffington post]

The pursuit of happiness is not uniquely American either—in a study of more than 10,000 participants from 48 countries, psychologists Ed Diener of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Shigehiro Oishi of the University of Virginia discovered that people from every corner of the globe rated happiness as being more important than other highly desirable personal outcomes, such as having meaning in life, becoming rich, and getting into heaven.[Psychology Today]

fericire21

Here are some tips to TIP HAPPINESS in YOUR direction:

I took & combined ideas from huffingtonpost, Inc, Psychology Today

HAPPY PEOPLE…

Express thankfulness.  Whether it is your personal relationships, those at work or on a personal level, actively expressing gratitude increases good feelings. One study showed people who wrote down five things they were thankful for once a week were 25 percent happier after 10 weeks; in effect they dramatically increased their happiness set-point.

They enjoy being outdoors. Want to feel alive? Just a 20-minute dose of fresh air promotes a sense of vitality, according to several studies published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology. “Nature is fuel for the soul, ” says Richard Ryan, Ph.D, the lead author of the studies.      I know for me personally, getting outdoors is definitely fuel for my soul. I feel like something is missing from my day if I don’t get outside.

They exercise. Exercise lowers symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. I can personally tell you from experience–my husband has had some depression and exercise has been a huge key in being able to bring him out of such a dark space. Exercise give you a natural ability to feel happy through the endorphins that are created through exercise. It is like a natural, happy pill.

Surround themselves with other happy people. Joy is contagious. Researchers of the Framingham Heart Study who investigated the spread of happiness over 20 years found that those who are surrounded by happy people “are more likely to become happy in the future.”

They have to allow a certain bit of curiosity and adventure into their lives.  Truly happy people seem to have an intuitive grasp of the fact that sustained happiness is not just about doing things that you like. It also requires growth and adventuring beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. Happy people, are, simply put, curious. In a 2007 study, Todd Kashdan and Colorado State psychologist Michael Steger found that when participants monitored their own daily activities, as well as how they felt, over the course of 21 days, those who frequently felt curious on a given day also experienced the most satisfaction with their life—and engaged in the highest number of happiness-inducing activities, such as expressing gratitude to a colleague or volunteering to help others. Curiosity, it seems, is largely about exploration—often at the price of momentary happiness. Curious people generally accept the notion that while being uncomfortable and vulnerable is not an easy path, it is the most direct route to becoming stronger and wiser. In fact, a closer look at the study by Kashdan and Steger suggests that curious people invest in activities that cause them discomfort as a springboard to higher psychological peaks.

They actively pursue goals.  Pursuing goals, though, does make you happy. According to David Niven, author of100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life, “People who could identify a goal they were pursuing [my italics] were 19 percent more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26 percent more likely to feel positive about themselves.”     If you want to envision a happy person’s stance, imagine one foot rooted in the present with mindful appreciation of what one has—and the other foot reaching toward the future for yet-to-be-uncovered sources of meaning. Indeed, research by neuroscientist Richard Davidson of the University of Wisconsin at Madison has revealed that making advances toward achievement of our goals not only causes us to feel more engaged, it actually helps us tolerate any negative feelings that arise during the journey.

They Bounce back up after they fall. Happy, flourishing people don’t hide from negative emotions. They acknowledge that life is full of disappointments and confront them head on, often using feelings of anger effectively to stick up for themselves or those of guilt as motivation to change their own behavior. This nimble mental shifting between pleasure and pain, the ability to modify behavior to match a situation’s demands, is known as psychological flexibility.

Do what you excel at as often as you can. the more you enjoy what you do and the more fulfilled you feel by what you do, the happier you will be.  In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Anchor says that when volunteers picked “one of their signature strengths and used it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed.”

They get plenty of sleep. Anyone knows if you don’t get enough sleep you are more irritable, cranky and not enjoyable to be around. When you get the right amount of sleep–all is well.     Dr. Raymonde Jean, director of sleep medicine and associate director of critical care at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center told Health.com. “You get more emotional stability with good sleep.”

They laugh. Laughter releases the same ‘happy’ chemicals as exercise, so laughter truly is one of the better medicines.  I can personally attest for laughing to fight of sadness and depression. When my husband was out of work, we would put in comedies to take away our worry and pain. It definitely helped.

They TRY to be happy. You have often heard the phrase–“fake it to make it” Well, I LOVE the word TRY. You truly can’t “TRY” anything. It is like “trying” to push a pencil. You either have to or not. there is no middle, so if we are “trying” to be happy—we are doing it.

They enjoy the simple things. When you begin to notice the small things that make your life beautiful happiness will fill up the empty spaces. It’s just being grateful for the small pleasures…the evening walk & the way the light plays on the forest floor, the yummy taste of a waffle cone, the warm shower

They understand that money does NOT buy happiness.  Money is important. Money does a lot of things. (One of the most important is to create choices.)  But after a certain point, money doesn’t make people happier. After about $75,000 a year, money doesn’t buy more (or less) happiness. “Beyond $75,000… higher income is neither the road to experience happiness nor the road to relief of unhappiness or stress,” say the authors of that study.   “Perhaps $75,000 is the threshold beyond which further increases in income no longer improve individuals’ ability to do what matters most to their emotional well-being, such as spending time with people they like, avoiding pain and disease, and enjoying leisure.”  

I have also head another statistic—there was a study done on 22 people major lottery winners & 22 people who had become crippled. A year later—the lottery winners were not any happier than the paraplegics.  Doesn’t that make you think!

They “give” They enjoy spending money on other people, they enjoy the “high” of doing something that makes a difference for another. They take the time to write a thank you note, to make cookies for others on the weekends, to help build conscious awareness about a cause, they volunteer for a local organization, they do little things that make a difference—big or little, it is about the giving feeling.

They look on the brighter side. Optimism creates less stress & better health. When you look at the world with rose colored glasses you are choosing a better life.

They power walk. Ever notice your joyful friends have a certain spring in the step? It’s all about the stride, according to research conducted by Sara Snodgrass, a psychologist from Florida Atlantic University.     In the experiment, Snodgrass asked participants to take a three-minute walk. Half of the walkers were told to take long strides while swinging their arms and holding their heads high. These walkers reported feeling happier after the stroll than the other group, who took short, shuffled steps as they watched their feet.     Try it! See if you feel happier. I think even holding your posture straighter makes you feel better too.  I always tell my daughter to sit tall & when you walk to pretend there are strings pulling you up from the tip of your head that run all the way down your back. It helps to visualize. I know I definitely feel better when I have better posture and walk the walk!

The sound of music. Music is powerful. So powerful, in fact, that it could match up to the anxiety-reducing effects of massage therapy. Over a three month period, researchers from the Group Health Research Institute found that patients who simply listened to music had the same decreased anxiety symptoms as those who got 10 hour-long massages.

They unplug. Whether you do big, belly breaths, meditate, go on a walk, or just deliberately unplug from our world of technology, you will have happiness advantages. Talking on your cell could increase your blood pressure and raise your stress levels, while uninterrupted screen time has been linked to depression and fatigue.

They get spiritual. When you create sacred space, a place that allows for stillness, gratitude, compassion, you are opening a door that will allow calm moments, time for reflection, a deeper space.

Be HAPPY.