Self Love – yourhappyplaceblog

MY GIFT TO YOU

Published on November 25, 2024November 25, 2024 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

MY GIFT TO YOU.

LOVE should be for every season and every reason in what we say and do. Right?

At least that is something to strive for on a more regular basis.

So….I cannot emphasize this enough. I just started doing conversations and love letters to myself after hearing Tim Ferris and Elizabeth Gilbert talking about her morning ritual.

Take some time and simply write a love letter to yourself. In reality, you are starting a conversation with God…the Universe…the source of all things…whatever makes your heart sing. You are trying to understand and see what would be said to YOU. This has been a truly inspiring exercise for me and I would highly suggest it. Take the time, begin the practice. It doesn’t have to be every day. I usually write when I FEEL like I am in a better head space to listen and tune in.

I begin the love letter to myself with various things…Oh darling, My love, Love, Beautiful…[this in and of itself is interesting to see what you hear and feel on even a basic level…what do you hear yourself being called?] Then, I just sit with myself for a few minutes and type any thoughts that come to me…questions, advice, conversation…anything. I often feel like its a two-sided conversation and so I type out both sides. It is humbling and interesting to hear words come up that I never use or ideas and thoughts that don’t seem like me. It definitely helps me connect even deeper. I close my eyes, listen and type whatever comes up.

It has been a beautiful gift to myself. It makes me feel even more deeply connected to the greater life we all live. There is such a vast beyond, a timeless space that awaits a conversation with us. Don’t miss it. Don’t take it for granted or question every little thing to look beyond the possibilities of such treasured conversations and love. We all need it. WE NEED AND CRAVE THE GREATER LOVE.

So, with the holiday season upon us, I would gift you this…give this beautiful gift to YOURSELF. Gift it to your families, friends and loved ones. Open the door of deeper conversations and love to those YOU LOVE.

We ALL NEED MORE LOVE.

Simply try it. BUT, I would suggest in all fairness of any process….you TRY it more than one time. You need to allow and believe in something greater than yourself and the greater LOVE you deserve.

That is MY GIFT to YOU.

Happiest of Holidays and LOVE always. xoxo

Just LOVE

Published on October 10, 2024 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Love and kindness are those qualities you hope you can authentically show up for in all you do. For the friends who need your support and care. For family. For the close, loving relationships that mean the most to your life. AND For yourself.

Recently I had heard a podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert and Tim Ferris and Liz was explaining a personal exercise that she has found so beneficial to her life….A Love Letter to Yourself. The idea being—having a two-way conversation with God and asking, “What would you have me know”…and listening to the loving response about what God would like you to hear about you.

Now, this is not a new idea and I consider myself someone who prays, has conversations with God and who seeks to be in tune to guidance and a belief in a greater divine. BUT, I have written myself five letters in the past couple of weeks and it has been a beautiful gift to myself. I cannot explain the difference of seeing words come to you and typing or writing them on a page and then going back later and reading them. It is a beautiful experience to say and hear things said back to you. It also seems to bring such clarity and guidance of things that seem genuinely important to myself and what I believe on a grander scale. It has been wonderful.

Highly suggest you try it. I decided to get up early, go on a walk and then sit down to write the letters to myself. Just allow. Open yourself to the dialogue and just begin. Don’t overthink. Just listen and feel your way across the page. It is very connecting.

xoxoxo

So, then I decided to challenge my husband to try the same exercise. He is generally pretty skeptical about any of my far out or not normal requests. It is all fine and good for me, but for him….here is the scenario…me asking him and suggesting what a nice opportunity it could be for him after he had been on a nice walk. I suggest, ‘Maybe try writing yourself a love letter tonight and see how it goes and then maybe you could do it a few more times to see how you really feel.’ He immediately responded, “I will do it for you tonight, but I am not going to do it three more times.” I shared, “Well, if you are not wanting to do it for yourself, then don’t bother. I don’t want you doing it for me, you need to do it for yourself.”

Needless to say, he did write the letter to himself and then he shared it with me. It was a beautiful note and it made me tear up in emotion at the sincerity and kindness that was shared. His skepticism of course chimed in, “Well, it was probably all in my head and I don’t know. I just started to look at it like I was in a conversation with God and that’s what came up.” I smiled and teased, “Of course. That is what you do. Of course you are going to hear your own voice. Its like a two-way conversation, but God is not all of the sudden going to have a different voice in the conversation.” smile. smile. “It is a gentle way of connecting and hoping you feel of your worth and love.”

I was grateful he took on the challenge and I was gifted the opportunity to hear the words he shared from the letter. It was a genuine, loving conversation that meant something deeper.

I highly recommend trying this simple exercise for yourself, with family, with your children…it is a connecting exercise that helps everyone feel a little more LOVE. Period.

Some other ideas to connect with God on a deeper level:

Tune in EARLY–I always heard Wayne Dyer share that he had a lot of inspiration come to him in the morning hours—around 3 am. That is when he would do most of his writing. He felt it was the best time of day to tune in.

PRAY–Prayer truly is a great way to simply begin. You can do a written prayer or just begin to ask, connect and talk. Nothing needs to be formal. Just pray from your heart.

CREATE–creativity through writing, art, music…is a very basic way to connect on some level. Many years ago I worked for a lawyer & I found him to be a very inspiring person. I asked him for a list of his top books he would suggest reading. The top of his list, “The Artists Way” by Julia Cameron. I was shocked that he had an artist book at the top. He just shared that it took him out of his normal routine and challenged him on another level. That is why he liked it so much. Another great book that I am reading currently, Rick Rubin’s book, “The Creative Act: A Way of Being” Also a great read. Creativity is within all things—the creation of all that is comes from an idea of the imagination…the seed of a dream…a divine spark…a whisper of a possibility. Creativity is a doorway to another depth, a challenge and connection beyond.

READ something inspiring–There are so many people in the world with their unique talents, stories, experiences, lives they’ve led and you can learn so much from them. Find those people or stories that inspire you, read from the masters, learn from the leaders of old, tune in to those people who inspire you and shed light on your world. Follow those souls who bring you to awe. When you read something and FEEL something–listen, take note, be aware, wake-up. When you read something and highlight the whole book…Follow that.

MUSIC–I genuinely feel more alive, inspired on another level when I hear a piece of music that seems to lift to the heavens. I just heard Coldplay’s new album & the song “One World” —it is a gorgeous song that has a lot of instrumental. [enJOY the instrumental parts in this song—gorgeous] It just took my soul to a heavenly place. Music can be like that. Whether its lyrics or the tune or the instruments…there can be pieces that set your soul free. Im sure every song is different for each individual. PLAY the music and see how it FEELS to your soul. Music has a power all its own. The heavenly muses play through us to bring it to the world to share. What a beautiful idea. Truly listen to the beauties.

CALM–through stillness, your breath, meditation, yoga, movement [like walking]…there are so many variables of things that can bring you to a quiet place and allow you to fall into a flow or a deeper rhythm of calm or a focus that transports you higher.

Tapping into your own STRENGTHS or PURPOSE–you have your own unique gifts that lead you to a higher calling to share with the world. Maybe you are really good at lifting people through leadership or have a natural eye for photography or easily string together a beautiful combination of words in writing. Everyone has things that light them up and get them excited. Follow that excitement and enthusiasm to those things that stir your soul and energize you. Chase after them, learn and grow through them and get yourself to a place to share with the world. YOU do you. The rest will come.

Pick a SPIRITUAL TOPIC and study it for a year & share what you learn–I remember when Wayne Dyer decided to do this with the Tao and got rid of everything material in his office space. He then carried a copy of the Tao with him everywhere and began to focus on one part for a specific set time. He then created his own ideas to share.

Keep a list of DAILY BLESSINGS–aka gratitude lists. You can do this on an individual basis or you can ask every family member to also share in this. Have everyone share blessings around the dinner table OR you can also share before bed OR you can also have everyone text things to one another throughout the day to keep the conversation and connections going.

Some other sweet ideas I found online to tap into a DEEPER CONNECTION–Go on a prayer walk around your neighborhood & pray for each individual as you pass their home . Blow a kiss to the sunrise or sunset and give thanks as you enjoy the beauty . Look at tiny details in nature and give thanks for the awe and amazement of such creations . Sing hymns that resonate with you . Go on a hike and give thanks for the grandeur and details all around . Light a candle every morning and read a devotional of some kind . Find a local cathedral and just admire the beauty and detail within the walls . Create your own prayer bead ritual and give thanks in your own way with each bead . Practice being of service by cleaning out your old & donating to those in need . Practice solitude with a specific time or day to have a technology break . Ask God to bring someone to you that needs you to help them . Write down personal miracles or moments of grace that you or your family were given . Once a week [over dinner or breakfast] have everyone share something that they felt helped them feel connected to God in some way . Have everyone in your family write down their own stories or experiences of when they felt God touch their lives .

Strive to JUST LOVE–Love is the opposite of all that is harsh or detrimental or destructive. It is a place of peace, light, calm, a higher place to seek to exist. Do all you can to simplify, grow in kindness, become a little better each day, let go of fear or judgements, calm the waters of chaos or anxiety…do all you can to strive to come from a higher place of love. Practice that. Every thing takes time, so you may as well practice to come from LOVE than anything else, right?

There are many little things we can seek and strive to do to bring a deeper connection with God. Coming from a place of LOVE is the greatest goal. Take it day by day…write a love letter to yourself. Write a love letter to your children. Help a neighbor feel loved. Be love. Spread Love.

As Coldplay says in the song…IN THE END, IT’S JUST LOVE.

DO THAT. xoxo

Peace, Love and Light to you. -H

FLY…First Love YourSELF

Published on July 19, 2023 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Self-worth vs Self-esteem

I have been struggling to understand the emotional swings and ups and downs of my sweet, college daughter. She has been struggling to move on from her happy childhood into adulting. She has been trying to find her wings, while dealing with feelings of needing to let go of her necessity to depend on her mom & dad. She has been seemingly caught in-between two places of childhood and adulting and it has been a big adjustment—it has been HARD. It has helped me to see and understand a different level of personal worth, finding the confidence you need and building the essentials that comes with experience and growth.

I was reading an article trying to find ways to understand my daughter when I read an article about self-worth and self-esteem—according to thrive global, Self-worth is the deep-rooted internal belief of being good enough and worthy of love, of feeling secure to belong just as you are. Conversely, self-esteem is the feeling of confidence and competence in one or more specific areas of your life. The differences suggesting that self-esteem is gained from all the external factors in life (outside influences, external factors like your clothing style, your friends, your body image, your relationships, your job…it is fleeting, and can change ) VS your self-worth and how that is all an inside job in beginning to know and understand the higher level, best self within.

Another way of looking at this is your FEELINGS. HIGH-AROUSAL positive feelings cause emotions such as exuberance, ecstasy, euphoria come when you find yourself in favorable CIRCUMSTANCES. For instance, when you are thrilled when a crush agrees to go on a date or you get a promotion at work, BUT circumstances can change & the relationship or job is not what you expected and the situations turn into disappointments. The, you also have LOW-AROUSAL positive feelings such as calm, serenity, tranquility, and contentment that come FROM WITHIN. They are the more authentic, durable, stable feelings that come from a place where you are content with the world regardless of your relationship, job status, changes in your romantic or professional life—will not alter these feelings of contentment. -ideas taken from berkleywellbeing

So, how do you know if you have low self-worth?

Become AWARE. Awareness is key. Seek out the inner critic in your thoughts. Is there a bit of a bully playing in the background of your life?? Pay attention to the narrative in your head. The inner critic threatens, “You are going to fail,” monitors weaknesses or mistakes, “You messed this up again,” commands “You should stop acting like a fool,” and judges, “You don’t look good.” Self-criticism harnesses negative emotions like fear, shame, and guilt. It is not a helpful motivator. You can learn to replace these destructive thoughts with positive growth-orientated ones through awareness and practice, which are scientifically proven to be more motivating than continually berating yourself. -thrive global My daughter has a bit of a bully that shows up & is mean! We call her Shhmate!! (instead of Kate 🙂 She is one who reacts and in some instances she gets emotional and physical—a real, bully!! Your inner critic is the harsh voice that causes an inner struggle between your brain and your body, which then causes a physical flight or flight response. This internal action then causes your body to create higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which takes a greater toll on your whole physical system. One of the best ways to combat your inner critic is with self-compassion, which brings about greater amounts of oxytocin into the body to help you feel calmer and more physically balanced.

Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is about helping you be gentle with yourself & coming to a place of love & self-acceptance over judgement and criticism. Here is a list of micro-practices to add to your routine: Just breathe . Exercise . Take a walk . Service . Get out in nature . Eat healthy . Ask yourself throughout the day, “What do I need right now?” . Journal feelings & begin to notice any harmful patterns or things you need to be aware of . Don’t take things too seriously by watching a funny video to help you laugh . Pray or meditate . Practice self-kindness, which helps regulate fear with personal connection . Begin a gratitude practice . Take mental breaks . Create boundaries for yourself . Practice being your own best friend .

Let go of NEGATIVE thinking and self-talk. YOU CHOOSE your thoughts. Choose wisely. It is one of the hardest practices to notice your thinking and self-talk patterns. They are there, so the sooner you begin to watch, listen and learn what triggers what or how you really talk to yourself–the sooner you will be able to understand your thinking patterns. Just watch and learn for awhile. What seems to be constant mantras in your mind? How do you handle stress? What patterns do you see in your language on a daily basis? Begin to observe. IF you find there are some negative traps and patterns going on then you need to find a way to notice them and change the pattern. It is a practice. I have heard a few exercises you can try—I Like the metaphor of looking at your thoughts as a dance with a partner. Your thoughts (dance partner) approaches & you either like what they say or you spin them away for a more positive dance partner. Who do you want to be constantly dancing with? Someone who is negative? Swap your words and phrases for more positive ones.

Another exercise is the ticker tape—its like your thoughts are streaming across a ticker tape board (think stock market, long-running line of words, names, numbers–google if you need a visual) of your ongoing thoughts. What are you saying to yourself? What are the constant themes? Are they positive or negative? If you need to, write them down so you can truly see what you are saying to yourself. If you are seeing a lot of negative self-talk then you need to practice replacing your negative conversations with positive phrases, words, convos.

Another exercise or more of a metaphor is the story, Which dog do you feed. It is a good visual.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” [taken from urban balance.com)

Positive self-talk is a practice. You need to be aware of your thoughts and then begin. Remember and always ask yourself, “Would I say or desire to say this to a good friend?” and then keep in mind that you should be your greatest friend in life. Speak to yourself with kindness and love.

Let go of the PERFECTION and allow learning through mistakes. Learn to be kind to yourself no matter the outcome. My daughter has always been one to expect her best and has always been a student of highest standards (to a fault). We have had to work with her on letting go of having to have 100% and that her best is enough.

Do NOT COMPARE. The saying compare and despair is a real thing. There is a real trick to not getting caught in the social media traps of comparing your life to others. It is easier said than done. Tip: Try a social media detox

Remember and reflect on your WINS. Look back at your past achievements, successes, compliments, wins and remember the challenges and how you overcame them. Everything that causes you to grow begins as a challenge. Remember how far you have come and where you have been able to grow to be your best. Tip: my daughter started a compliment and accomplishments journal to write down and remember nice things that were said to her, good things she did for others, etc.

Believe in your WORTH. Always remember that your worth is NOT dependent on the house you have, the job you get, the clothes you wear, the money you have in the bank, the…YOUR WORTH is always within you. YOU are worth more than any success you believe will bring happiness. Your happiness is within you already. The outer STUFF is not going to fulfill you. YOU are enough and the belief in that knowing is going to fill your life with the happiness you desire.

Beautiful Kate, Always remember to be gentle with yourself, find and practice kindness with yourself and begin to know and believe that you are enough. You are more than enough! You are exquisitely created to live a life that reflects beauty, love, light and peace. You are meant to remember your deep, beloved worth and the gorgeous gem that you are. You are meant to shine brilliantly in all you do. You are a treasure. Always do those things that will help you remember your worth.

Love you xoxo

Celebrate being YOU

Published on June 6, 2019June 6, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

physed-happiness-facebookJumbo 13381288_1749056525362494_2133778461_n There will NEVER be another YOU. You were meant to shine, to shimmer with a light that only you can glow. There is not another smile like yours; not another heart that beats to your calling; not another person who holds your purpose. You are an original in a world full of people trying to be like everyone else. How do we lose sight of our unique beauty? How do we forget the deeper part of us that longs to change the world in some way? How do we fall asleep to the song that our soul yearns for us to hear? There is only one of you & you must awaken to find that spark that lights you up, the reminder of your distant dream that holds onto you and doesn’t let go, in hopes that you will remember. You are a beautiful original that was made to do amazing things. CELEBRATE THAT!!

“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life forever.” -Amy Poehler

My sixteen-year-old daughter just got home from a leadership camp this past week. She was surrounded by 140 other teens from all over the state that were sponsored and chosen to represent their school. It was an honor and privilege that she was able to go. The greatest thing was hearing how a group of people can get together, challenge and inspire one another and then seek to bring that same awareness to others. My daughter was lit up by the experience & when she got home, she immediately sought out the information to try and help out with the camp next year. When you get around others who light you up & push you to be your self–Life changing!

be-yourself-let-people-see-your-flaws-quote-5-1 The morning of my daughter’s leadership camp she was feeling nervous, anxious, didn’t want to go, extremely moody and grumpy. My husband and I looked at one another & hoped she would make it a good experience. The first night she called us, she lit up, “I am being myself!” She explained how she had not been able to truly be herself at other camps, but at this one she felt completely authentic and was making it a great experience. She had an even better time because she was being who she was meant to be.

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” -Tom Peters

Give yourself a little WOOT-WOOT for doing something that CELEBRATES what you want more of in your life. In the past couple of weeks, with summer in full swing, I wanted to do more hiking & getting up into the mountains. Getting up earlier to beat the heat is hard, but my soul sings being in nature. We need to push ourselves to do things that help us take better care of ourselves both physically and mentally. Celebrate the small wins.

Self-Love: CELEBRATE the things that make you, YOU! Are there physical features you appreciate? Do you find yourself grateful for your smile & the way it lights up a room. Are you grateful that your body can move & you don’t take that for granted. Make a list of things you love and are grateful for about beautiful YOU. Put them on post-its and cover your mirror or make a gratitude list to say thank you for the way you are. CELEBRATE YOU.

Do things that make you come alive: This morning while I was out walking with my family, we came across a huge field & the grasses were so high (probably four feet tall). I instantly wanted to run through the field and get a pic standing in the high grass. I jumped into the field and posed for a shot. I felt alive. I know it may seem small, but even small things give your heart big feelings of joy!! It made me so happy.

Little things: CELEBRATE you by giving yourself a little time to do something YOU want to do. You are always running here and there, taking care of everyone else. Do something that sings to your heart. It could be a simple bubble bath, a good book or a walk outside. Do some little things that feel big to you.

Find a beautiful treasure: CELEBRATE you by seeking out something that is authentically you. I LOVE going to thrift shops or antique stores to find a fun treasure that speaks to me in some way. I have found unique picture frames, old, vintage cameras, a stone dove…little treasures that are truly me. They adorn my home and when I see them, I feel connected. They are like little, personal messages that say…”Be free. FLy” when I look at my simple white bird sculpture or “You are an original” like a tiled frame that doesn’t have a match. Little treasures can speak to the soul and we need those little celebrations.

Take yourself out: Whether there is a movie you have wanted to see or a spa treatment you have wanted to try…OR..maybe you wanted to take a photo class or visit a museum. Take yourself out & do something for you. CELEBRATE the things you enjoy in life. You deserve the date and time to show yourself a little love.

Hope these ideas have given you something to think about. CELEBRATE YOU—your uniqueness, your needs, your time, your gifts, your one, unique and beautiful life. It is all yours to enjoy and find gratitude in. Make it. CELEBRATE IT!!

The following really resonated with me—I often find myself needing to give myself a little extra… ed9ce0950d091f2ac2fc396f4237382e

-Love and Happiness to you. -H

Your Personal Mission in the World

Published on May 9, 2019May 9, 2019 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

To have a personal mission in the world.

What could you do??

YOU: Make a personal difference in your own life to better it. One person at a time, begins with YOU. Until you take care of you, you are not going to be your best self & show up for those in the world who need you.
How to Take care of yourself physically, emotionally & spiritually.

Here are some ideas for YOU: Take long, warm showers they are good for the whole. Get grateful–write a daily list of five things or have your family send each other a short list of things to share with one another. Get outside for the sunshine, nature, the healing effects that are all connected. Read, journal, do something that utilizes and focuses the mind. Listen to beautiful music that seems to move you, calm you, connects you. Coloring calms the mind (its not just for kids–try it). Practice saying ‘NO’ to things or people that drain you or that you may just not want to do. Take a nap. Make a list, whether it is a ’99 things I Love List’ a ‘bucket list’ or a ‘goal list’…to help you tap into some of your personal desires or things you enjoy or want to do. Meditate and clear your mind. Do yoga. Smile. Exercise your mind and body. Give puppy loves & enjoy some pet therapy. Go to sleep earlier. Volunteer. Make time & activities for family time. Get creative by painting, doodling, art journaling, paper folding, etc. Garden or just pull weeds & enjoy being in the sun and dirt. Laugh by watching funny videos or a hilarious television series. Breathe. Avoid social media because it can steal your time & your joy. Disconnect. Declutter to create room and space. Get inspired.

THE BIGGER PICTURE: Start with small steps

Be present with people. I recently met a young girl who works with my daughter at our local aquarium. My daughter has told me many sweet conversations about how this girl makes her laugh, feel included…so, when I met her face to face, I lit up, reached my hands out & grabbed hold of her hands & affectionately shared my thanks for her genuine kindness to my daughter. It was a sweet exchange.
Afterward, my daughter mentioned how she noticed this girls positive reaction to my affection & thought she was genuinely touched in a good way.
I smiled at my daughter & told her to just be present & share love with people. It’s all good.

Give longer, more meaningful hugs—my mom recently had brain surgery & it has been a tough journey seeing her in such pain & struggling. I find myself giving her longer hugs. I’m sure it’s just my way of being grateful she is still around to hug. It has shown me the greater power of hugs.

Let someone else SHINE—my daughter works at the our local aquarium & she is very passionate about educating kids. Just the other day we were visiting the aquarium with some family & friends & my daughter was at a glass tank that had zebra geckos inside. My daughter began to tell her little cousins about them, when all the sudden one of her co-workers jumped right in the middle of everyone & started telling the kids all about the geckos. My daughter stepped back irritated. But, when her co-worker was done, she had everyone clap for him & his great presentation.
My daughter was so irritated & I had to explain perspectives. I told her he obviously needed some Shine time!! I told her she handled the situation beautifully by having everyone give him some shine & celebrating the job he did.
Sometimes we just need to step back & let others shine to make the world a little brighter.

Compliments go a long way—who doesn’t like a compliment?? Everyone enjoys hearing something nice, so spread a little love with a kind word, or a compliment.

Just smile—a smile breaks barriers, connects with kindness, it says ‘I am open’ It is a universal language that just lingers and spreads good.

Remember the ‘Golden Rule’—treat others as you would like to be treated. We learn this at a young age, but sometimes we forget. When a car cuts you off or someone doesn’t smile back at you—just remember to be kind. Don’t get mad or angry.

I have a sweet friend that has grown up in various tough situations, so her exterior is a bit rough sometimes, but her heart is so good. Whenever I drive with her she gets mad at other drivers that don’t wave back if I give a friendly wave of thanks. She gets mad if I open a door for someone & they don’t say thank you. She will literally raise her voice and say, “Your welcome.” I always have to remind her that as long as I am sending out the good vibes of love and care than it is alright. If you are always treating others the way you would like to be treated, then you are doing good in the world. It may not be reciprocated, but as long as you are sending out good, then you are doing good.

Energy–There is energy in all things. Are you being a force of positive or negative energy? Just check in with yourself on this each day. See how you are FEELING and work on being a force of positive goodness.

Be an angel for random acts of kindness–Give someone a water bottle who is working out at the gym, say something nice, give a candy bar to a drive-up attendant, leave a plate of cookies on a strangers doorstep with a note that says, “You are loved.” Leave quarters in a child’s quarter toy machine, hand out flowers at a nursing home…Do something small that will make someone smile.

Research the companies you get your food or goods from to see if they are environmentally friendly (helps or hinders the planet)—My daughter has an app that she can scan food or goods and tell if they use a lot of palm oil, which is ruining & cutting down our jungles. She can easily scan & determine what products are good or bad & what we should not buy.

Put your phone away when you are around others—I have teased my friends and family when we are together and someone is “hiding” out on their phone. I have genuinely asked them if they are hiding out. It usually instantly helps them put away their phone. Be present when you are with people.

Always use your manners–just the basics help everyone feel good. Smile. Say Please and Thank you. Hold gratitude in your heart and be an instrument of good.

Always strive for good things in your life–I smile whenever I see a car sticker that says, “Feel Good” or “Life is Good” or “Good vibes” or “Be the good” because I know that the people driving that car are trying to put out good feelings into the world.

Whether it is good music, good movies, good conversations, good people, good vibes, good notes you send to others, good stickers or good, positive words you say…make it good. Whenever I pull up to a drive-thru for a sandwich or something & the worker says, “How are you doing today” I always say positives like “I am fantastic or fabulous”—it sends a good, positive message & the people are usually really happy to see me. Strive to have good things and spread good things in your life & those around you.

Invest in your relationships—when you ask people how they are doing, genuinely wait, listen and strive to go deeper with your relationships with people. Really connect, ask questions and be interested. We have way too many shallow and meaningless relationships. Take the time to talk, listen and go deeper with your connections.

My husband has been traveling for work and meeting and spending time with a lot of different people he works with. Whenever he comes home, I ask him, “What did you learn about so and so.” Take the time to invest in others.

Always have a growth mindset & be willing to learn and grow in all you do. I think it is when we become stagnant that we get off track to becoming our best self. If you are striving to learn new things, experience things that scare you, challenge yourself to get better each day, and are pushing yourself to become better—even just a little, then you are going forward. You are becoming a little better each day for yourself and the world around you.

f683c10ff13b3a512ef75d08f0e2f800--one-tree-motivational-thoughts Be an example of someone who is a light in the world. Be Someone who is striving to do a little better each day. I hope you can begin with these ideas to help you follow your heart & begin living your life mission. Begin small, but begin.

Peace, Love and JOY to you today. -H

Personal Quests

Published on June 25, 2018 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

happiness-quotes-everything-is-a-gift-of-the-universe-even-joy-anger-jealousy-frustration-separateness-everything-is-perfect-growth-enjoyment-ken-keyes-wisdom-quotes My sweet, 15-year-old daughter just left for her FIRST home-away camp where she will not be able to talk to her parents, use a phone & will be sleeping away for five days. She left with butterflies in her tummy, anxiety, fear, overwhelm, but knew deep down this was going to be a very good, positive growth opportunity for herself.

She arrived at the drop-off location and noticed a big group of other kids waiting with duffles, sleeping bags, pillow, etc. Her immediate reaction was then, “My duffle is too big!” Her personal overwhelm then turned into ‘my stuff is going to draw too much attention!’

Isn’t life funny like that. We are first perceived by ‘our stuff’ and then as we get beyond the exterior ‘stuff’ and go deeper, we are able to find our place, our desires, our quests, to connect on deeper levels with others, to learn what is truly important, to see what defines, to then have a clearer picture of who we are–on the inside. Sometimes it takes a personal quest, an act or instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search.

Why do we send our kids to camp? to open a door for themselves to seek something within, to pursue learning things about themselves, to give them an opportunity to be alone with who they truly are and find a clarity that will help guide their life.

Life is a big, giant quest for answers, guidance, depth, challenge, change, growth, and as we seek after various things we learn…TRULY learn what is important and what we value from within.

I believe everyone becomes stagnate until they begin to notice where there life may need some injections of purpose, play, adventure….personal quests!!

Let’s take a few lessons from my daughter’s experience & see how they can help us with our own life quests.

DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES MAKE US GROW:

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I had to remind my daughter that through challenges we grow. The flower does not fully bloom until it has broken through the tough soil to feel the warmth of the sun. We often have to go through hard things to find a place that can challenge us on another level.

Every experience truly does have a gift if we can look for it. Whether it brings us pain or discomfort, the gifts will be found after we make it through the tough packaging.

Even knowing my daughter will not be able to see or talk to us for five days (which has never happened in her entire 15 years of life), I know the separation will be so sweet when we see her again. She/we will have gained an even deeper appreciation for our relationship.

There are gifts in every life experience.

BE A CONSTANT SEEKER OF LEARNING:

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If we are constantly striving to learn, growth in a variety of ways will follow. Think about it–if you are always reading, you are improving your writing skills, comprehension, spelling, imagination, reducing stress, expanding your vocabulary, etc. If you are constantly seeking to take a class (online or in person) you will gain confidence and education. When you are trying to expand your mind through growth in any area of your life—it is a quest to become better than you were. We should always be striving to become better than we were yesterday.

BE FLEXIBLE:

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Dr. Wayne Dyer use to talk about striving to be flexible like a palm tree because they can bend in a storm and not break. If we can look at a situation and try to find a better way, to be flexible in the moment, the journey will be a little easier.

Today my daughter left the car, met a couple of girls & instantly joked, “Hi, I am Kate, the girl with the big bag!” I laughed out loud thinking about the perspective she took. How she just went with the situation and was flexible enough to make it a funny moment.

FACE THE FEAR & DO IT ANYWAY:

98c77c07fa270d19fe4e8472d14b469a I think we are often put in circumstances where we are afraid of the outcome–whether it is a work meeting that could turn confrontational, going to a class with people you have never met, trying a new sport & not wanting to look foolish…

When we face a fear there is no question we walk away a little taller. Think about a situation where you were afraid to go, afraid of an outcome, but you pushed yourself to go through with it. Did you walk away feeling stronger and more confident? absolutely.

My daughter was terrified to go to camp & a couple of months ago when I brought up the topic of going, she was digging in her heels and determined not to go. I know that even at this moment, she may still feel some fear, but she is feeling more confident in knowing where she was & where she is today.

FIND JOY:

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When we are able to find things that bring us JOY, life becomes the purest version of what we need internally. The quest for Joy is an illusive one, until you take the time to find those things that light you up. When something lights you up, you are on your way. When we find and do things that light us up, it naturally lights up others around us. We find an internal spark that ignites ideas, creativity, energy, pursuits of variety…it brings us to places that sing and ignite individual purpose. We truly come alive!

This is one of my daughter’s favorite quotes of all time. She believes this with her whole heart. She has this spirit that wants to change the world & I know as she strengthens her courage muscles, faces fears, is challenged and finds growth, she will continually find her way & make the difference she desires. I see her light up after volunteering at our local aquarium and teaching kids about marine life. I see her light up when she speaks in front of groups. I see her light up learning new things. I see her light up when she has to face a challenge & knows it will be good for her.

Life should be full of things that help us pursue personal quests all of our life!! When we are learning, growing, being challenged to change—we will then be led to things that light us up & we will continually find higher parts of ourselves.

When we are striving to become better each day…each day truly will be better.

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Life is a sincere pursuit of things that will stay with us always. Look for the gifts in all you do. Make it a personal quest to find them. They are there to be unwrapped and enJOYed.

Peace, love and joy to you today. -H

Life Passage

Published on April 11, 2018 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

Easter Sunday to be exact we put my fifteen year old daughter behind the wheel of our Durango and her Dad gave her the first driving lesson of many. I videoed it & my daughter’s expressions were priceless. She was NOT having a good time.

After the lesson we drove over to harts gas station and my husband ran inside to buy celebratory treats. I looked at my daughter in the back seat and she became a little emotional. I asked her what she was feeling & it was so genuinely sweet. She said, “I didn’t like driving because it makes me feel like I am getting older. I don’t want to be a teenager.” I told her that she would never be a typical teen because that is not who she is. I explained how driving is just a right of passage in a way. I explained how you have to grow in life. You have to do things that help you fly, that help you learn. I talked about how the butterfly has to go through hard things, to struggle, to break free from its ‘chrysalis’ to be able to fly. We talked about how it is not a bad thing to learn and grow. I reiterrated that she would never be a typical teen. It was a very sweet conversation.

Life is like that! You go from one growth challenge to another to another. Life should be a passage, a passage to better things that help us grow to become better people.

I LOVE that idea–a passage. The definition of ‘rites of passage’ points that mark transitional periods in a person’s life, such as birth, puberty, marriage, having children, and death. Rites of passage usually involve ritual activities and teachings designed to strip individuals of their original roles and prepare them for new roles. -dictionary.com

We all go through life changes and challenges. We go through tough things that make us feel uncomfortable, that challenge our current belief systems. Without those challenges how would we truly grow??

My only issue is that life is FULL of change and rites of passage, but I am going to go with LIFE ‘PASSAGE’ (instead of rites of passage) which is the action or process of passing from one place, condition or stage to another. I think this is more accurate in terms of life. The whole life. We don’t just have children and stop growing until we die. There is a huge portion of life within that realm. I think as adults we do more growing as we parent, as we age, as we continue to find our place as adults.

My question—as adults how can we find those specific ‘life passages’ that we personally need to challenge us to growth? We can easily become stagnate as adults, so how do we continually grow?? Here are my thoughts, research and findings….

BREAK OUT OF YOUR ORDINARY MOLD: Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Psychologist and author of “Better Than Perfect, says people who regularly seek out fresh experiences tend to be more creative and emotionally resilient than those who remain stuck in routine.

“Breaking your own mold can only make you stronger and more confident to reach higher levels in your professional and personal life,” she says.

How to break out of the ordinary–Do everyday things differently–(unplug on a specific day or time. Brush your teeth standing on one leg. Try a new recipe. etc) Pick a big goal–(to write a book. to run a marathon. to climb a mountain. to read five books in a month. to start a business. etc) Do something physically challenging–(take a trapeze class. go ice skating. take a rock climbing class. certify as a yoga instructor. train for something. etc)

Benefits of breaking out–Optimal anxiety is that place where your mental productivity and performance reach their peak. Still, “increased performance” and “enhanced productivity” just sound like “do more stuff.” What do you really get when you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone? You’ll be more productive. You’ll have an easier time dealing with new and unexpected changes. You’ll find it easier to push your boundaries in the future. You’ll find it easier to brainstorm and harness your creativity. -lifehacker

EMBRACE DISCOMFORT: That is how you truly grow. It is a catalyst for progress! “The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself.” -Mary Bean

This is an interesting idea: In an interview with Outside, Karnazes makes an important point that many of us have forgotten:

Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think that if we had every comfort available to us, we’d be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we’re so comfortable we’re miserable. There’s no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. We get in a car, we get in an elevator, it all comes easy. What I’ve found is that I’m never more alive than when I’m pushing and I’m in pain, and I’m struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there’s a magic.

That is a very interesting take from a serious Ultramarathon runner. BUT, we can look at this and equate it to our own lives. We strive to be comfortable, but I bet if any one person looked at their life to pinpoint their greatest times of personal growth, it would be in times of challenge and pain. We don’t grow in comfort. We are just comfortable. We may need to set some challenging or daunting personal goals.

SET A BIG GOAL: “Don’t shrink from discomfort. Instead, let it guide you toward accomplishment.” -Michael Hyatt

Goals make you ask a big question, “WHY?” If you can answer why you are doing something then you will see the vision behind your goal and the reason you feel compelled to move forward. Then you can ask, “How?” & begin on that part of the solution. Goals have a way of getting you in the right frame of mind to go beyond your current state.

“If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things–you don’t have enough goals.” -Lou Holtz

Here are some great resources on creating goals: These should give you a good starting point for ideas. Make your own life list, 100 goals in 100 days, 100 goals in 10 years, it is your life–you make the plan!!

Jack Canfield has “101 Lifetime Goals” http://jackcanfield.com/blog/my-101-lifetime-goals-list-and-why-you-should-have-one-too/

Most important goals according to these ranks https://www.ranker.com/list/most-important-life-goals-list/samantha-dillinger

Another guy’s list of 100 Life Goals https://fullylived.com/100-life-goals-list/

There are MANY ideas from a variety of bloggers—google some ideas, take ideas you like and make your own list to help you live the life you want!

TAKE SOME TIME TO ASK SOME BIG QUESTIONS: Take a weekend getaway or a day while you are on vacation. Maybe you take just a day alone to sit with yourself and ask some life questions. Use the time to get a renewed perspective of where you are and where you want to be. Ask yourself, “What inspires me?” “What have I learned from past mistakes or failures–what life lessons have I learned” “What do I value?” “Am I truly grateful?” “What are three things I need to look closer at in my life & work on?” “What am I the most afraid of?” “If I had a magic wand, what would I wish for? (no limitations)” “What do I need in my life to grow?” “How strong is my self-worth & do I truly care about my needs?” “Is there something I enjoy doing that I don’t take enough time to do it more often?” “When do I feel most vulnerable?” “What am I the most proud of in my life?” “What am I focusing the majority of my time on in my life?” “Do I feel passion?” “What do I need at this moment in my life?”

SHAKE IT UP! Your environment, the foods you eat, the same people you surround yourself with, your daily routines, all add to states of comfort and stagnation. Take some time to shake things up–look on Groupon or a local activity sites to see if there is something fun to do to shake up your routine. Try something new each week (a new meal, a new work outfit, surprise someone with a lunch picnic during your work break, find a new way to work, learn a new recipe, listen to a different style of music (Alexa has all kinds of play lists), a new workout, join a club that you are interested in, etc.

INVEST IN YOU! Are you doing something/anything for you? Take a class, learn a new skill or talent. Is there something you have always wanted to do or try?? Is there a book you have been wanting to read, but have not made the time. Is there an exercise class you have wanted to try? Is there something you can do/learn to boost your confidence? Is there a craft class you have been wondering about? Have you always wanted a monthly massage? Is there a workshop or seminar you have been interested in?Are you following & listening to your heart? Are you taking care of your health? Are you choosing things that make you feel happy?

Why is investing in yourself so powerful? Investing in yourself, sends a powerful message to yourself and the world. The message is:The value and potential that I possess, is important enough to me that I’m going to give it the energy, space and time to grow and create results. -huffington post

When you are taking time to do something for yourself, everyone around you benefits. You feel more alive, awakened, challenged, rejuvenated…investing in you is a win. win.

FIND AWE: The feelings you get from standing in a grove of trees, looking up into a starry night sky, having a space or feeling that seems to transdend. This is one strong human emotion. Many studies showed that people who frequently experience awe tend to have lower levels of a substance that’s been linked to stress and poor health. As part of a recent two-part study at the University of California, Berkeley, students filled out a questionnaire describing their feelings over the past month and submitted samples of their saliva to test for a substance linked with stress in the body. The students who said they’d recently experienced feelings of awe were more likely than students who hadn’t to have lower levels of the stress-linked substance (called interleukin-6) in their spit. In fact, the more often a student said they’d experienced awe in the past month, the lower his or her levels of the substance tended to be (More on the details of the study and its findings here). -businessinsider article

Awe-inspiring moments take us to a deeper place and help us realize that we are part of something so much bigger than ourselves. How to look for daily experiences of awe: being moved by music, looking at the light of the world & seeing the shadows, repetitive patterns in nature, finding the sacred in quiet moments, noticing the colors changing, seeing someone have a giving heart.

Here is a great article that talks more in-depth about the emotion of awe. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awe

Well, I hope this is a good start for your personal Life Passage. Life should be cherished.

-Peace and Love to you today. -H

Find your YOUniqueness!

Published on August 3, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

570fd34c4dd35c2149fcb5e0ed7879da--epic-quotes-godly-quotes My daughter has been going to a summer camp this week at our local aquarium. She has been learning from all sorts of people–some love to scuba-dive, some love ‘cats’, some train the parrots, one guy loves toads and another guy LOVES coral.

As I have sat and listened to my daughter explain these various people, my mind truly connected on how different each and every one of us are. We each have our own strengths. We each have our own ‘loves.’ We each are drawn to various things. We are each so very unique! It was truly an aha that someone could truly become so attracted and drawn to coral. Who would have thought!! But that just shows how the world is full of variety on every level. Each and every individual is suppose to unearth their ‘YOUniqueness’! Their one and only gift to the world. The things that make them come alive.

That makes me think of this great quote: 164351-don-t-ask-what-the-world-needs-quote

Here are some tips and tricks to unearth a deeper, bigger part of YOU.

Look at your passions/gifts/strengths: What do you enjoy doing? What could you do for hours and not get tired of doing it? Look at your hobbies & evaluate what you enjoy about them. Figure out what you are good at, what you enjoy, what lights you up & build on that.

Look at your strengths and build on them: I truly believe investing in yourself is a great step in moving forward in developing yourself. Take a class you are drawn to, but have been avoiding because of feeling uncomfortable. Take time to read something that will lift and build your life. Learn something new each day. Practice something you excel in each day (even if it is only 15 minutes). Take a strengths test–see link below.

Don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else: You are YOU! You have your own unique qualities and characteristics, so when you compare yourself to others, you are desiring to become more like them & NOT yourself. Practice seeing YOUR unique life gifts and the great things you do.

Don’t shrink so others feel comfortable: I think society makes many of us feel like we need to wear certain things, drive certain cars, participate in all the fads, have the “best” things, etc. I think we sometimes put our own styles aside to fit in. I think we say things to fit in. I think we do things, buy things, talk about certain things to fit in. How does that serve the world?? If we all become exactly the same & shrink so we ‘fit in,’ how is that shining our uniqueness for the world to embrace? That reminds me of another great quote–one of my favorites.

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Take a fun test to learn about your strengths & personality traits: There are all kinds of personality and strengths tests out there. Find one that sounds interesting to YOU. I have taken a couple–The Strengths Test (StrengthsFinder by Tom Rath–which helps you identify different strength qualities you have). Recently I took the free 16personalities.com test & that was a fun test to take. The tests are fun just to see how accurate you feel they are & give you additional insight to you in a different way. Try it & see what you learn about yourself.

Here is another article with some tips: Top 10 Ways to Discover your unique gift. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-berman-fortgang/personal-development_b_1925875.html

Great article with some additional ideas to help you seek your YOU. http://www.yoursuccessprogram.com/blog/19-steps-to-becoming-your-unique-self/

A list of different ted talks to help you find your purpose: https://www.ted.com/playlists/313/talks_to_help_you_find_your_pu

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Have a BeYOUtiful day!!

Spring Cleaning for the Soul 2

Published on March 6, 2017March 6, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

NEW TO YOU: Growth, Challenge, Change.

When most people decide they want or need to personally grow they look to those around them to learn from and then they also dive into the pages of good books. Reading has always been a well-spring for me personally. You can find educated people, people who have struggled and share their stories, adventurous people, people you can learn anything from. Books are a good starting point.

I also believe in just reaching out. If there is someone you want to learn something from–email them. The internet is a gift in that way, that you can connect with anyone. You know I have reached out to Catherine Johnson(who did Mamma Mia (she was WONDERFUL), shared musical ideas with Mika(never heard from him or his team), gone straight to book authors for ideas or museums for direction) Reach out. Learn. Grow.

ACTION: I have done my share of coaching classes, retreats, actual coaching of clients, but this tool I came across and thought you may benefit from. Its the ‘GROW’ tool: This may help you in any life decision. Go for it!

“Don’t go through life, grow through life.” -E Butterworth

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BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE & OUT. Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing thing you will ever own.

“You are an original, an individual, a masterpiece. Celebrate that; don’t let your uniqueness make you shy. Don’t be someone other than the wonder you are. Every star is important to the sky.” -Douglas Pagels

ACTION: “When you look at yourself in a mirror, do you like what you see, or do you judge your body and use the word to tell yourself lies? If you believe that you are not attractive enough, then you believe a lie, and you are using the word against yourself, against the truth.” -Migual Angel Ruiz

“Your body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in.” -BKS Iyengar

How do you take care of your body:

Take time to exercise

Make sleep a priority–7 to 8 hours at least

Eat well and savor it

Listen to pain

Slow down

Keep a journal because it is therapeutic

Read because it is relaxing and is also a good escape

Have personal self time

Unplug

Talk to yourself in a positive manner

Positive affirmations

Play. Do things you truly enjoy doing

Learn something new because it not only stimulates your brain, but it invigorates your life

Dont forget to hydrate! You need at least 8 x 8oz glasses

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“We rise by lifting others.” -Robert Ingersoll. I LOVE this thought & it rings so true. Think about a time when you did something/anything for another person….YOU were lifted. My sweet daughter was running into the gas station to get me a drink & she always holds the door open for people who are coming and going. She lights up & one man gave a sweet gesture in return. She went up to the cashier to pay & he jumped in to pay. She lit up & he gave her a fist bump. She almost skipped out of the gas station & lit up as she shared the details of the story. Something so small (holding a door open) lit up his day and hers. We truly do rise by doing even little things for others.

“Spread LOVE everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving HAPPIER.” -Mother Teresa

ACTION:

Seek /create opportunities to serve.

Be the reason someone SMILES today.

Send someone an encouraging note.

Pay it forward. Be generous in opening a door, allowing someone to go in front of you in line, get your mom a drink. smile.

Ask God if there is some way you can serve another.

PLAY. FIND JOY. BELIEVE in MAGIC…be young at heart

” The heart that LOVES is always young.” -unknown. “To a young heart, everything is fun.” -Charles Dickens. “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age.” -Aldus Huxley.

ACTION:

READ: Take time to read your favorite classic stories.

TINKER: Figure out how something works.

PLAY: Skip, Explore, Create, Be silly, climb a tree, do bubbles, collect rainbows, daydream

HAVE A PICNIC: eat outside, something you loved as a child. (chicken nuggets, yogurt, cheese puffs, etc), fly a kite, play a lawn game, look at the clouds, lay on a blanket.

CREATE: Make a card or something hand made and gift it to someone. Be CREATIVE: Doodle, dress-up, make-believe, have theme days/parties, tell a tale w voices.

COOK: Learn something new & get messy.

IMAGINE: use your creativity & make something colorful, bright and imaginative.

GO OUTSIDE: throw rocks, paint a rock, skip down a path, make something from nature, take a picture, breathe in the fresh air, play in the dirt, shoot an arrow.

SMILE & LAUGH: tell jokes, watch a funny movie.

DANCE: be free to move & play your favorite tunes.

NAP: Take a nap & not care what time it is.

Be CURIOUS: want to learn about something–stop & ask. Read up on a topic or ask an expert. learn, grow.

WONDER: See the magic everywhere. Life is awesome!

REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVE

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Published on January 19, 2017 by goforthegood1Leave a comment

2dgfpaq6 Since the month of LOVE is quickly approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to post about LOVE. Not just “Love YOU” sentiments or valentine hearts and kisses, the LOVE that begins with YOU.

I think on some level every single one of us have moments where we struggle with loving ourselves. You may be on one end of the spectrum where you just have moments of self-doubt or maybe you truly dislike many things and suffer through life. On any level, it begins with YOU. You truly cannot love others or give love without beginning with the person in the mirror.

I love how John Lennon puts it

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This made me want to find further information to prove that LOVE truly can conquer all fears and help us begin to love ourselves and others. We need to kick the fear, insecurities, shame, sadness, low energy feelings and begin to replace them with higher frequency thoughts and feelings. When we are able to begin to change FEAR (self-doubt, self-hatred, depression, envy, all the negative emotions) and replace them with LOVE (joy, happiness, self-love, trust, all the positive emotions) then things truly begin to change.

When we begin with ourselves LOVE and light will then radiate in all we do. We can then reach out and LOVE others. We can then have something to give to others. The beautiful circle begins.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND THIS:

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In a joint study with Stony Brook University, Rutgers University, and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, researchers performed brain scans of people in long-term relationships. The couples studied were in a loving partnership for an average of 21.4 years. The researchers found significant activation in the medial orbitofrontal cortex.1 That is part of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain involved in regulating behavior and decision-making.

If we take a look at the brain, we can break the brain up into three major parts. The first part or outside layer is the neocortex, or new layer. This is the last layer to evolve. Going deeper we find the limbic system or emotional brain. Then at the core we find the reptilian brain. This houses our automatic responses such as breathing and instinctual actions.

This small but mighty reptilian brain has the capability to shut down the neocortex and take over. It can literally take the part of the brain where love resides off line. When fear triggers the fight or flight response, brain activity is transfer from the prefrontal cortex in the neocortex to the inner reptilian brain. This can happen when we feel stress or anxiety. In fact, in some people without the behavioral modifying prefrontal cortex keeping their baser impulses in check, can find themselves over-eating, compulsively shopping, gambling, or even turning to drugs and alcohol.

But more importantly to this discussion, stress or fear can weaken the neuro-connections to love. In fact, research at Mount Sinai School of Medicine found that chronic stress or focusing on fear shrivel the connections to the prefrontal cortex.2 Therefor the concept that there is only fear or love is scientifically valid.

To make matters worse, fear is actually stronger than love. When fear pops up, it disconnects the brain from love. However, the good news is that the neuro-connections to love can be regrown. By letting go of fear and anxiety, you get the added bonus of the greater capacity for long-term love. -Taken from dawnmaslar article

YOUR THOUGHTS: The principle is simple: Throughout your brain there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about. It’s very similar to how nerves carry electric from the sensation in your toe all the way up to your brain where it’s actually “felt”.
Here’s the kicker: Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross. This is a microcosmic example of evolution, of adaptation. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together–in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger. Therefore, your first mystical scientific evidence: your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus are changing a physical construct of reality. Let that sink in for a moment before you continue, because that’s a seriously profound logic-bomb right there. -curiousapes.com.

So, what does that mean: You are strengthening your brain with either LOVE or FEAR. YOU decide every second of every day what you are allowing to grow through your thoughts. You are either nurturing thoughts of LOVE or FEAR.

IN CLOSING
It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear. Can you think of a time when you’ve been in both love and fear? It’s impossible.

We have to make a decision to be in one place or the other. There is no neutrality in this. If you don’t actively choose love, you will find yourself in a place of either fear or one of its component feelings. Every moment offers the choice to choose one or the other. And we must continually make these choices, especially in difficult circumstances when our commitment to love, instead of fear, is challenged. –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler from “Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living”

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Begin today to become more aware of what you are telling yourself and what you are living–LOVE or FEAR. It truly is one or the other. Look at it for yourself. You either FEEL good or bad in anything you do, say or feel. Be aware and begin to truly LOVE yourself. This will then begin the beautiful circle that will surround you and all those in it.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

-Peace and lots of LOVE to you today. -H